Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
We saw X-Men in the middle of a road trip the summer after our senior year of high school. Terrible vacation; fun movie.
X2: X-Men United is a very loose adaptation of one of our favorite X-Men stories: the Marvel Graphic Novel God Loves, Man Kills.
The less said about X-Men: The Last Stand, the better.
Jay can’t look at this X-Men: First Class poster without thinking of the Buckaroo Banzai end credits. It’s a blessing and a curse.
X-Men: Days of Future Past is one of the more ambitious retcons ever to grace the big screen.
X-Men: Apocalypse opens in the U.S. on May 27; and everywhere else at some point in the surrounding weeks.
Apocalypse’s on-panel debut… (X-Factor #5)
…and the first time we saw his signature costume. (X-Factor #6)
“Let’s adopt him and, I dunno, feed him scarab blood? Look, man, I’m making this up as I go along.” (Rise of Apocalypse #1)
Apocalypse’s true, diabolical plan, as realized in “The Twelve”: To capture a bunch of mutants and I guess put them in little terrariums? Apocalypse is a complicated guy. (Uncanny X-Men #377)
Apocalypse: Somehow actually more progressive than Doctor Who. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1)
The mechanics of Apocalypse’s body–and relative immortality–vary wildly from series to series. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #2)
In the Age of Apocalypse, Apocalypse takes over Earth ahead of schedule and makes everything super glam. (X-Men: Alpha)
Deadpool may not be an X-Man, but his movie did feature the best version of the X-Men costumes to show up so far on screen.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which the X-Men cinematic universe is a really mixed bag; Kang the Conqueror ruins everything; everyone wants a Sphinx hovercraft; Elle was right; and we bring you up to speed on all things En Sabah Nur–just in time for X-Men: Apocalypse!
X-PLAINED:
How Chamber got his torso back (and then lost it again)(twice)
Several ways to count X-Men movies
X-Men
X2: X-Men United
X-Men: The Last Stand
X-Men: First Class
X-Men: Days of Future Past
Adaptation anxiety
Distillation vs. dilution
Apocalypse (En Sabah Nur)
Rise of Apocalypse #1-4
Akkaba
Dubious survival tips
Fantastic Four #19
Doctor Strange #53
Ozymandias
Various horsemen of Apocalypse
Age of Apocalypse (Earth-295)
The Twelve
Cinematic X-costumes
Cast Party
NEXT WEEK: Excalibur joins Inferno!
CORRECTION: In this episode, Jay states that Kieran Shiach explained Kang in the Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts. It was, in fact, the amazing Paul O’Brien. Mea culpa.
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
He’s not wrong; he’s just an asshole. (New Mutants #71)
Aw, kiddo. (New Mutants #71)
There’s a lot of more overtly awful stuff S’ym has done, but very little of it gets under my skin as badly as this scene. (New Mutants #71)
Brett Blevins’ Inferno might be the best Inferno. (New Mutants #71)
WELL, THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY. (New Mutants #71)
N’astirh Guy(TM) (New Mutants #71)
Nothing that begins with this line ever ends well. (New Mutants #71)
Okay. This looks bad. (New Mutants #71)
On its own, this is a perfectly serviceable cover; but it’s also a subtle and pretty brutal nod to the last issue of the Magik miniseries. (New Mutants #72)
Possibly the most metal title page to ever appear in an X-book. (New Mutants #72)
Calling it: Blevins’s is my hands-down favorite take on Inferno-infested New York. (New Mutants #72)
GAH. (New Mutants #72)
And now, a brief and delightful respite from the tragedy playing out in the A plot. (New Mutants #72)
Savor this moment: it’s not often you get to see New Mutants making a responsible choice! (New Mutants #72)
WELL, THEN. (New Mutants #72)
N’astirh levels up… (New Mutants #72)
…But so does Illyana. (New Mutants #72)
Death of Supergirl homage cover. Take a drink. (New Mutants #73)
T-O S’ym is so creepy, y’all. (New Mutants #73)
THERE ARE NOT ADEQUATE WORDS FOR HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS PAGE. (New Mutants #73)
That Colossus makes room in his rather minimal uniform for a photo wallet is kind of adorable an very much in character. (New Mutants #73)
“And that’s what you get for teaching new math!” (New Mutants #73)
We didn’t think of this until after the episode was recorded, but Illyana’s final armored form bears a lot of resemblance to her brother’s. (New Mutants #73)
This dude is pretty great. (New Mutants #73)
The Darkchilde in her final form. (New Mutants #73)
And so it ends… (New Mutants #73)
…or does it? (New Mutants #73)
“Or stick around in the background and then die of the Legacy Virus and come back like 20 years later without a soul. The point is, you’ve got options.” (New Mutants #73)
NEXT WEEK: The rise of the Goblin Queen.
LINKS AND FURTHER LISTENING:
We discussed the Magik miniseries in Episode 19 – Acorns and Swords.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which everyone’s got Inferno issues; Brett Blevins makes it work; Belasco is conspicuously absent from Inferno; you should never go into Hell barefoot; the greatest X-Men stories are about loss; and Illyana Rasputin finally gets a fairy tale ending.
X-PLAINED
Tempus (Eva Bell)
Storm and Illyana: Magik #1-4 (briefly)
The two major Inferno plotlines
New Mutants #71-73
The best of Brett Blevins
The rise and fall of Magik
The ethics of time-travel interventions
A weaponized retcon
N’astirh Guy™
A chair that is also a moral event horizon
A significant soul-armor upgrade
Several variations on a chapter title
Possessed New York
An overly complex conspiracy theory
A bittersweet reunion
The Kobayashi Maru scenario as applied to X-Men
An even more bittersweet victory (of sorts)
The eventual return of Magik (sort of)
Why it’s really irresponsible to affiliate your school with a superhero team
Our favorite versions of Wolfsbane’s transitional form
NEXT WEEK:
The Rise of the Goblin Queen!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which Nextwave is both canon and not-canon; Inferno officially begins; X-Terminators is basically a cartoon; Bill Gaines cannot catch a break; Artie and Leach are superbabies; Takeshi Matsuya is fantastic; you should probably never take our advice about anything; Boom Boom is pretty good at superhero costume design; Walter Peck was right; Miles still won’t stop saying that one line about stealing a baby; N’astirh is no pigeon; and “No Mutant Is an Island” is a patently inaccurate statement.
X-PLAINED:
The Beyond Corporation
The Defilers
X-Terminators #1-4
The first 35 issues of X-Factor, briefly
Two teams with the same name
Fredric Wertham
Bill Gaines
Crotus
Babies
A boarding school that may or may not be Phillips Exeter Academy
Muffy
Saint Simon’s Academy
Wiz Kid (Takeshi Matsuya)
Nuprin
Medical advice from goblins
The Goblin Buster
Metareferential snack food
RadSport Sport Fashion Outfitters
An exceptionally specific Ghostbusters reference
Helen and Tim
Dubious spell semantics
How not to incorporate a crossover into a miniseries, and vice versa
“No Mutant Is an Island”
A brief history of Magneto’s helmet
Definitive Magnetos
NEXT WEEK: The fall of Magik.
Special thanks to multiversal metacontinuity wizard Al Ewing for the last-minute assist on the cold open!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which it’s pretty much always terrible to be Magik; Y is a sometimes vowel; Wolfsbane is a secret Disney Princess; feelings ruin everything; and Gossamyr may or may not be an allegory (but is pretty interesting either way).
X-PLAINED:
What Lila Cheney is up to these days
New Mutants #67-70
Gratuitous space spelling
Gossamyr
Spyder
The Accountants
Magneto’s ongoing slide into supervillainy
A few fairly specific elements of teen-girl social dynamics
Wolfsbane’s greatest desire
Practical logistics of teleporting aliens into a sun
Approaching the X-books as a new writer
Who we’d put on an all-X-Men trivia team
NEXT EPISODE: BabyRace 2000; and Archangel vs. Cameron Hodge
Special thanks to Kieron Gillen for the X-pert consult; and to Arvin Bautista for the use of “I Will Steal Your Heart.”
InfernoWatch:
Illyana’s descent continues
S’ym gains near-complete control of Limbo
First instances of possessed machinery and architecture
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Pryde of the X-Men‘s character designs are pretty damned comics-accurate, if slightly pastel. (I guess Kitty would have gotten her Shadowcat costume later?)
Real talk: if you watch this show on VHS, Spider-Man takes a minute of your time beforehand to tell you how important it is to vote.
Okay, that’s a legitimately cool way of showing how awesome telepathy can be. And a legitimately GI Joe-looking moment.
“Choose your character, Kitty Pryde!”
This image documents Kitty’s single moment of hesitation before she decides that following a bunch of strangers into space is a great plan.
Pryde of the X-Men‘s Storm may actually be her best on-screen portrayal.
“G’day! Let’s get a dingo on the barbie, you wallaby! Foster’s!”
This makes me actually kind of wish Dazzler had been on the team in the early 80s.
The Arcade Game: Heroes!
The Arcade Game: Villains!
It’s… basically a whole lot of this.
Three Living Monoliths for the price of one!
Twelve-year-old Miles was in heaven. Thirty-three-year-old Miles was too.
Our players: Anna Sheffey, Miles Stokes, and Elisabeth Allie!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which Miles and Elisabeth X-Plain Pryde of the X-Men; Magneto is somehow even worse at branding than Mystique; the X-Universe is in desperate need of responsible adults; Wolverine hates kids; everybody’s mean to Lockheed; and the Sentinels represent your feelings.
X-PLAINED:
Wolverine’s Australian accent
Pryde of the X-Men
X-Men / Muppet Babies analogues
The Brotherhood of Mutant Terrorists
How not to comfort scared teenagers
The X-Cessible X-Men
The Mutant Power Circuit
Terrible parenting
A MacGuffin
A Really Dubious Evil Plot
Several Additional MacGuffins
THE POWER!
One of many reasons to be nice to animals
Space
The X-Men Arcade Game
Ground Kontrol
X-Men: Madness in Murderworld
The Uncanny X-Men (game)
Metaphorical sentinels
Mysterious lizards
Video game mechanics vs. superhero ethics
Pryde of the X-Men vs the ’90s animated series vs. X-Men: Evolution
Alternate animated series hooks
NEXT WEEK: The Brood go to a revival meeting
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!