Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Phoenix

As Mentioned in Episode 60 – Rachel Summers and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 6/14/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
The last thing you see before you die. (Uncanny X-Men #206)
Do you ‘ship Storm and Bree Morrell now? You probably should. (Uncanny X-Men #206)
The outfits in this arc are just 100% amazing. (Uncanny X-Men #206)
Damnit, Rachel. This is why we can’t have nice things. (Uncanny X-Men #206)
“Teamwork! Our only weakness!” (Uncanny X-Men #206)
“It’s Madelyne! They’ve shot her! And dyed her hair! And given her fairly extensive cosmetic surgery!” (Uncanny X-Men #206)
Wolverine hates Arizona. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
We were going to make up a drinking game based around how many times Wolverine really or metaphorically kills Rachel in this story, but you would die of alcohol poisoning by the end of the first issue. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
Spoiler: It’s a metaphor. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
THE OUTFITS, THO. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
…And again. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
Same song, different issue. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
Neither of you is wrong. You’re just both assholes. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
Well, that escalated quickly. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
THOSE. OUTFITS. THO. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Kitty tells it like it is. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Damnit, Selene. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Feelings are boring. Murder is awesome. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
It really sucks to be a mortally wounded telepath, y’all. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Oh, SNAP. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
What. Selene. No. What are you even doing. No, Selene. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
No, but seriously: costume satin, right? (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Well, then. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Never not funny. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
And then, it got weird. Weirder. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
‘Kay. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
That one time a member of the Inner Circle wore a costume so bad it actually killed him. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
Fun fact: this is the second time they’ve pulled this particular move. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
Okay, that’s actually pretty awesome. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
Seeya in Excalibur, kid! (Uncanny X-Men #209)
Next Week: New Mutants breaks our hearts, over and over and over.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING LISTENING:

60 – Rachel Summers and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 6/14/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 6/14/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which Rachel Summers went to sleep with Wolverine’s claws in her dreams and now there’s claws in her lungs and when she got out of bed this morning she tripped on her traumatic backstory and by mistake she dropped the Phoenix Force in the sink while the water was running and she could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

X-PLAINED:

  • Freedom Force
  • Supervillains’ day jobs
  • Uncanny X-Men #206-209
  • The X-Men’s first brief tenure in San Francisco
  • Terrible house guests
  • Lindsay McCabe
  • David Ishima
  • Bree Morrell
  • A metaphorical ghost story
  • Lycanthropy, but dumber
  • The crossing of several ethical lines
  • Death by narrative stasis (and also impaling)
  • Craft night at the Hellfire Club
  • Death by costume satin (and also heart failure)
  • One way to write someone out of a book
  • Our favorite Summers kids
  • X-Music

Special thanks to Elle Collins

NEXT WEEK: The New Mutants break your heart.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 55 – How Nightcrawler Got His Groove Back

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/10/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
We really can’t blame her. (Uncanny X-Men #202)
You’d think Piotr would have caught on to the existence of spandex by now, what with being a superhero and all. (Uncanny X-Men #202)
Daaaaaaaang. (Uncanny X-Men #202)
Well, that’ll end well. (Uncanny X-Men #202)
Aw, kiddo. (Uncanny X-Men #202)
A miracle of magnetism! (Uncanny X-Men #202)
The Beyonder sucks, y’all. (Uncanny X-Men #202)
I know it’s just a flashback, but man, Rogue, serious dick move there. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
Don’t worry–we’ll X-Plain this whole thing at more length next episode. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
Whaaaaaaaaaaat. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
I’m pretty sure no one ever brings this up again, which seems weird in retrospect. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
The Phoenix Force lends itself to some damn cool layouts. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
And again. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
And then the Beyonder went away and everyone lived happily ever… HA NO JUST KIDDING. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
THAT COVER, THO (Uncanny X-Men #204)
Nightcrawler likes Secret Wars about as much as we do. (Uncanny X-Men #204)
There are some very specific benefits to living in a comic-book universe. (Uncanny X-Men #204)
How do people always work out what’s going on so quickly? “Oh, I must clearly be in a giant pinball machine.” Really? REALLY? (Uncanny X-Men #204)
NIGHTCRAWLER IS DELIGHTFUL. (Uncanny X-Men #204)
ARCADE IS ALSO DELIGHTFUL. (Uncanny X-Men #204)
Comics Should Be Fun: A Manifesto by Kurt Wagner. (Uncanny X-Men #204)
Nightcrawler and Arcade make really excellent mutual foils–both of them appreciate the theatricality of the genre in ways that few of their peers do. (Uncanny X-Men #204)
OKAY THEN (Uncanny X-Men #204)
At this point, the X-Men going to any kind of cultural event is basically an invitation for a super-fight to land on their front lawn. (Alpha Flight #33)
Well, then. (Alpha Flight #33)
Third-worst honeymoon ever. (Alpha Flight #33)
I know there’s plot-relevant stuff going on here, but can we also take a moment to appreciate Wolverine’s awesome opera suit? (Alpha Flight #33)
Awk-ward. (Alpha Flight #33)
“Seriously, what the hell, lady?” (Alpha Flight #33)
I wonder if James Hudson and Charles Xavier are friends. It seems like they would be. (Alpha Flight #34)
Yer a good kid, Wolverine. (Alpha Flight #34)
Not actually plot relevant. We just think it’s funny. (Alpha Flight #34)
Daaaaaaaamn, Barry Windsor-Smith. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
No, seriously: Daaaaaaaamn, Barry Windsor-Smith. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
Subtitle: “Someday Katie Power is going to make a therapist very rich.” (Uncanny X-Men #205)
Look at this awesome badass 5-year-old. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
That layout! (Uncanny X-Men #205)
It really sucks to be Wolverine a lot of the time. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
A) This page is amazing. B) Still can’t get over how much Barry Windsor-Smith’s Wolverine–drawn in 1986–looks like Hugh Jackman. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
Wolverine has reconsidered his stance on transhumanism. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
Sick burn, man. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
Awww. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
NEXT WEEK: The Beyonder kills the New Mutants.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

55 – How Nightcrawler Got His Groove Back

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/10/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/10/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which Secret Wars II ruins everything (more) (again) (forever); Rachel Summers hates the Beyonder almost as much as we do; Miles gets mad at comics; Nightcrawler does not do gritty well; Lady Deathstrike gets wired; and we consult our favorite 3-year-old for book recommendations.

X-PLAINED:

  • Rogue vs. Carol Danvers
  • Life before social media
  • Uncanny X-Men #202-205
  • Alpha Flight #33-34
  • Phoenix II vs. the Beyonder (twice)
  • The Reverse Gwen Stacy
  • Still more miracles of magnetism
  • Kitty Pryde disambiguation
  • SFLANNG!
  • Good times in Murderworld
  • The third-worst honeymoon
  • Lady Deathstrike (Yuriko Oyama)
  • Spiral’s Body Shop
  • The Reavers
  • One way to build a Wolverine antagonist
  • Skirting the Comics Code
  • Sound-effects lettering as a narrative device
  • Good X-books for a 3-year-old

Special thanks to Katie and Kestrel P.

NEXT WEEK: The Beyonder kills the New Mutants!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned In Episode 54 – Who You Gonna Call? (feat. Elle Collins)

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/3/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
The New Defenders. (Defenders #127)
Moondragon, Cloud, Gargoyle, and Valkyrie demonstrate the kind of high drama and subtext that makes three ex-X-Men feel right at home. (Defenders #127)
Warren and Bobby simultaneously contemplate one of the great questions of the universe. (Defenders #126)
Hank opens up to Vera about his shifting personality. (Defenders #116)
The end of the last issue of Defenders. Total downer (except for the puppy). (Defenders #152)
All-New, All-Different. (X-Factor #1)
The worst part is that neither of them is wrong, exactly. (X-Factor #1)
Three guys who definitely don’t want to be superheroes anymore. (X-Factor #1)
Well, this can’t possibly end badly. (X-Factor #1)
OH GOD NEVER MIND. (X-Factor #1)
Rich people are different from the rest of us. (X-Factor #1)
Goddamnit, Warren. (X-Factor #1)
Goddamnit, Scott and Madelyne. (X-Factor #1)
Later, in Apartment 3-G… (X-Factor #1)
X-Factor is just painfully awkward on so many levels, for so long. (X-Factor #1)
“Seriously, Warren, you are LITERALLY WEARING A SUPERHERO COSTUME RIGHT NOW.” (X-Factor #1)
“Look, just go walk it off for a couple weeks. You’ll be fine.” (X-Factor #1)
If we had a dollar for every job interview that ended like this… (X-Factor #1)
Iceman is just goddamn delightful. (X-Factor #1)
There are several important things going on here, but all of them are overshadowed by the fact that Warren is wearing a cape with a sweater vest. (X-Factor #1)
It’s like they know how an intervention works, but not how it’s supposed to end. (X-Factor #1)
“Also, he’ll be gradually brainwashing us all and destroying our lives for the next year and change!” (X-Factor #1)
WE’RE HERE TO BELIEVE YOU! (X-Factor #1)
It just never stops sucking to be Rusty Collins. (X-Factor #1)
No, seriously. (X-Factor #1)
“It’s almost like some outside force is manipulating our lives, making sure to stretch this dramatic tension as long as possible.” (X-Factor #1)
How no one ever recognized the X-Terminators as the original five X-Men is one of the great mysteries of the Marvel Universe. (X-Factor #1)
NOTE: The appropriate soundtrack to literally every scene Cyclops is in in this issue is “Country Feedback,” by R.E.M., on repeat. (X-Factor #1)
WHO YOU GONNA CALL? (X-Factor #1)
“I mean, it’s been solicited as an ongoing, and everything.” (X-Factor #1)
Aw, Madelyne. (X-Factor #1)
NEXT WEEK: The Beyonder ruins everything. Again.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

54 – Who You Gonna Call? (feat. Elle Collins)

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/3/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/3/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which the X-Men get their third ongoing series; Elle drops in to x-plain the Defenders; the band gets back together; rich people are not like the rest of us; Cyclops is in desperate need of some kind of intervention; and X-Factor is basically Ghostbusters.

X-PLAINED:

  • Cameron Hodge
  • The fairly spectacular secret origins of X-Factor
  • The Champions
  • The New Defenders
  • The evolution of Hank McCoy
  • X-Factor #1
  • The death throes of Scott and Madelyne’s marriage
  • Rusty Collins
  • A really bad first date
  • The increasingly dubious life choices of Scott Summers
  • The worst job interview
  • Sushi-a-Go-Go
  • How not to have an intervention
  • X-Factor
  • The X-Terminators
  • The Phoenix Force on Earth-811 (and its relationship to Rachel Summers)

NEXT WEEK: The Beyonder ruins everything. Again.

You can find a companion index to the material mentioned in this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

As Mentioned in Episode 53 – Sometimes They Come Back

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Cyclops has mixed feelings about fatherhood. (Uncanny X-Men #201)
Rick Leonardi is so good. (Uncanny X-Men #201)
Let’s pause for a moment to admire Rachel’s super sharp outfit. Those yellow shoes! (Uncanny X-Men #201)
Not actually story-relevant. I just really like this panel. (Uncanny X-Men #201)
You do you, Rogue. (Uncanny X-Men #201)
Madelyne Was Right. (Uncanny X-Men #201)
Look at Magneto on the end, like, “I’m a supervillain, and I think these people are out of their damn minds.” (Uncanny X-Men #201)
Like the outcome was ever in question. Also, how awesome is Leonardi’s Storm? So awesome. (Uncanny X-Men #201)
Cyclops’s father issues are basically their own character in this issue.
Grey house break-in #1 of 2. (Uncanny X-Men #201)
Love, love, love the way Mary Wilshire draws contemporary fashion–and uses it as a subtle storytelling element. (New Mutants #35)
This is what happens when, between the inks and the colors, someone decides you can’t show characters in just their underwear. (New Mutants #35)
Lee Forrester has no time for your ridiculous superhero hijinks. Lady’s got a job to do. (New Mutants #35)
Fun Fact: This poppy-field environment first appeared in Uncanny X-Men #175, where Cyclops used it to take down Rogue. (New Mutants #35)
On one hand: poor Warlock. On the other hand: I LOVE THIS PANEL SO MUCH. (New Mutants #35)
THE MIRACLE OF MAGNETISM! (New Mutants #35)
Horses are fucking terrifying. (New Mutants #35)
Warloooooooooock. (New Mutants #35)
Sienkiewicz eyebrows are the best eyebrows. (New Mutants #35)
Magneto is the cool teacher. (New Mutants #35)
This is what happens when you flout FAA guidelines for the safe transport of Kirby dots. (Avengers #263)
GOOD QUESTION, Captain Marvel! (Avengers #263)
Spoiler: This entire plot line is a pointless red herring. (Avengers #263)
Bonus Namor abs for you. (Avengers #263)
WHAT A SHOCKING TWIST! (Avengers #263)
If no one sends in lyrics to “Like a Phoenix,” we’re going to be kind of disappointed. (Fantastic Four #286)
1) Those credits, man. 2) THAT EPIGRAM. (Fantastic Four #286)
Look at She-Hulk and Hercules being all charming in the background. (Fantastic Four #286)
Hi, Jean. We missed you, too. (Fantastic Four #286)
“Also, there’s no way any actual human being would get that haircut.” (Fantastic Four #286)
Grey house break-in #2. Doesn’t anyone ever think to call ahead? (Fantastic Four #286)
Beast X-plains the Dark Phoenix Saga. (Fantastic Four #286)
“I’m a retcon, Jean. Just run with it.” (Fantastic Four #286)
Aw. (Fantastic Four #286)
Classic X-Men #8 does the whole thing over again, somewhat more graphically.
Next Week: X-Factor begins (for real, this time)!

53 – Sometimes They Come Back

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Rachel screwed up and accidentally gave David material for episode 54 instead of 53, so there's no illustration this week. Instead, we offer both our sincere apologies and this photo of Miles dressed up as Mister Sinister at a costume party.
Rachel screwed up and accidentally gave David material for episode 54 instead of 53, so there’s no illustration this week. Instead, we offer both our sincere apologies and this photo of Miles dressed up as Mister Sinister for a costume party.

In which Wolverine doesn’t care about your baby; Storm takes charge; duels are terrible bases for systems of government; editorial mandate is hell on a marriage; Magneto is a pretty cool teacher; Jean Grey comes back; and we have mixed feelings about the Phoenix retcon.

X-PLAINED:

  • Kenji Uedo
  • Uncanny X-Men #201
  • New Mutants #35
  • Avengers #263
  • Fantastic Four #286
  • Classic X-Men #8
  • The post-Trial of Magneto status quo
  • Nathan Christopher Charles Summers
  • A small cross-section of Cyclops’s myriad issues
  • The wrong means to the right end
  • Magneto’s educational philosophy
  • The politics of creative credits
  • “You Know Who”
  • The Phoenix retcon
  • Several unrelated break-ins
  • The return of Jean Grey
  • Jean and the Phoenix Force
  • Alternate-timeline Madelynes Pryor
  • Jean Grey’s code names

NEXT WEEK: X-Factor begins! (for real, this time – sorry about that SNAFU!)

You can find a companion index to the material mentioned in this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

 

As Mentioned in Episode 48 – Guitar Solos of the Gods

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 3/22/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
X-Men! (X-Men Annual #9)
New Mutants! (X-Men Annual #9)
Check out the gorgeous John R. Neill homage going on in that title card. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)
Karma, transformed. Adams draws her very differently–both more realistically and more recognizably–than Sienkiewicz or Leialoha; and it would be awesome to see a superhero with this as their default shape. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)
Marvel Asgard is basically the land of metal album covers. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)
Aw, Doug. No one appreciates you. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)
Asgardian Wars is chock full of pop-culture cameos and references. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)
GET IT? Not if you weren’t reading Longshot as it was coming out! (New Mutants Special Edition #1)
Warlock in a nutshell. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)
Bobby has found his element. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)
AMARA, WHAT IS THE FIRST RULE OF DEALING WITH FAIRIES? (New Mutants Special Edition #1)
The hands-down most awesome variation on the Darkchylde design. If only this had stuck around. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)
No, seriously, Shan is literally on Arrakis. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)
THE WARRIORS THREE ARE THE BEST AND ANYONE WHO TELLS YOU OTHERWISE IS FULL OF WRONG. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)
Fire-elf Magma. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)
Throughout the nine realms, skalds sing of the masterwork fire extinguishers of Nidavellir. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)
The Dani-becomes-a-Valkyrie arc reminds me of the thing where literally everyone else realizes you’re queer before you do. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)
Another Darkchylde panel, because this costume is just so damn good. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)
IT’S STORM AND SHE’S A HAWK AND SHE HAS A TEENY MOHAWK. That’s all. Carry on with your business. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)
Those title cards, though. (X-Men Annual #9)
What, don’t you have a psychic link with your “roommate”? (X-Men Annual #9)
‘Kay. (X-Men Annual #9)
TOO SOON, RACHEL. TOO SOON. (X-Men Annual #9)
Because I was raised by bleeding-heart feminists in the ’80s, I now have “Free to Be… You and Me” stuck in my head. THANKS, CLAREMONT. (X-Men Annual #9)
Aw, man. (X-Men Annual #9)
I want to see a “What If” splinter story where Sam is an epic hero and also basically Carrot from Discworld. I mean, there kind of is one–“What if the New Mutants Had Stayed in Asgard”–but still. MORE. (X-Men Annual #9)
DANI LITERALLY NO ONE IN THIS ROOM HAS PHYSICAL POWERS. (X-Men Annual #9)
Art Adams draws awesome Warlock. (X-Men Annual #9)
WOLF MAKEOUTS! (X-Men Annual #9)
Subtext: Not just for the ladies! (X-Men Annual #9)
This isn’t directly relevant to the episode. It’s just awesome. (X-Men Annual #9)
NOW LET’S GO DEFEAT THE FRENCH! (X-Men Annual #9)
It’s no KRAKADOOM, but I guess it’ll do. (X-Men Annual #9)
Dani is THE BEST VALKYRIE. (X-Men Annual #9)
“Well, at least I have this 1/6-scale statuette to keep me company.” (X-Men Annual #9)
NEXT WEEK: Rachel and Miles get lucky.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

  • The Mighty Thor #362 is one of the best issues of one of the best runs in Marvel history.
  • For craft wonks, we recommend the hell out of the Thor Artist’s Edition, if you can get your hands on a copy.
  • Actually, you know what? Just go read the whole Simonson run, right now. It’s collected and available in a bunch of forms. You won’t regret it. we promise.
  • Once you’re done reading Thor, go watch Leverage, because it is wonderful.

48 – Guitar Solos of the Gods

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 3/22/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 3/22/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which Asgardian Wars occupies the precise intersection of Miles’s favorite things; Marvel Asgard is your favorite metal album; no one appreciates Cypher; Wolfsbane gets some action; Warlock gets meta; Cannonball is a catch; Rachel Summers gets a new costume; Loki does Shakespeare; and Rachel overthinks Leverage.

X-PLAINED:

  • Various Mjolnirs and their attendant powers
  • Asgardian Wars
  • New Mutants Special Edition #1
  • X-Men Annual #9
  • The Surtwar
  • Art Adams
  • Amora the Enchantress
  • Lorelei
  • Several pop culture cameos
  • A really dubious beach party
  • The Viking Sorceress Asgardian Portrait of Dorian Grey
  • Ed Grimley
  • Hrimhari
  • Wolf makeouts
  • The Marvel version of Norse mythology
  • The Warriors Three
  • Rule #1 of dealing with fairies
  • A hawk ‘hawk
  • Valkyries
  • Einherjar
  • A costume in somewhat questionable taste
  • Interdimensional lightning-bolt mixology
  • Our favorite Thor story, ever
  • How to get your friends and neighbors into comics
  • Asgardian mutants (or lack thereof)
  • X-Leverage cross-casting

NEXT WEEK: Longshot!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!