Rachel Summers – Page 4 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 175 – Lady Windermere’s Fan Club

December 3, 2017 Jay One comment

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

This series should really be more fun than it is. (X-Men: True Friends #1)

“On one hand, you’re probably doomed. On the other hand, I did your laundry!” (X-Men: True Friends #1)

Excalibur is SUPER into trad night. (X-Men: True Friends #1)

Turning every head… except the one she wants to. (X-Men: True Friends #1)

Rachel Summers: master of subtlety. (X-Men: True Friends #1)

The absence of Dr. Druid from this story is really inexcusable. (X-Men: True Friends #1)

Lilibet wants nothing to do with that ludicrous accent. (X-Men: True Friends #1)

It wouldn’t be a Claremont book without an aviation lesson! (X-Men: True Friends #1)

Ugh. THAT guy. (X-Men: True Friends #2)

FUN FACT: We learned after recording this episode that Edward and Wallis were SUPER into fascism. NOT COOL. (X-Men: True Friends #2)

Laird Hetero McNonthreatening and his amazing Hypercolor kilt! (X-Men: True Friends #2)

AND THEN THIS HAPPENED. (X-Men: True Friends #2)

“If only my bones were made out of something super dense that made me useless underwater, amirite?” (X-Men: True Friends #2)

Hiiiii, Logan. (X-Men: True Friends #2)

“I’ll go kill the Nazis. You kids hang out under the dock and neck, or whatever.” (X-Men: True Friends #2)

He is a man of simple pleasures. (X-Men: True Friends #2)

Welcome to the time loop! Hope you survive the… oh. OH. Sorry. (X-Men: True Friends #3)

Oh, man. (X-Men: True Friends #3)

Don’t fuck with Kitty Pryde. (X-Men: True Friends #3)

I would read the HELL out of a comic about these three. (X-Men: True Friends #3)

This is the best costume Kitty Pryde will ever have, hands down. (X-Men: True Friends #3)

Yaaaawn. (X-Men: True Friends #3)

“Well, I do like redheads…” (X-Men: True Friends #3)

I don’t know what the Sword of Scone is, but it sounds DELICIOUS. (X-Men: True Friends #3)

I really love that the Phoenix Force has defeated Nazis with the power of queerness on AT LEAST TWO DISTINCT OCCASIONS. (X-Men: True Friends #3)

“They’re not corgis, but we suppose that they’ll have to do.” (X-Men: True Friends #3)

NEXT EPISODE: This guy.

175 – Lady Windermere’s Fan Club

December 3, 2017 Jay 27 comments

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In which Gambit is transatlantically terrible; Rick Leonardi is the poor man’s Alan Davis (but in a good way); we try and fail to care about British royals; Miles should probably read some Oscar Wilde already; Jay has a lot of feelings about The Rocketeer; Shadowcat gets a genuinely stylish costume; and we would read the hell out of a series about Destiny, Mystique, and Wolverine’s WWII adventures.

X-PLAINED:

Why Gambit isn’t welcome in the United Kingdom
X-Men: True Friends #1-3
The poor man’s Alan Davis
Trad night
Laird Alasdhair Kinross and his nonthreatening but convenient heterosexuality
Inexplicably absent familial relationships
Queen Lilibet the Second
Lady Regina Windermere
Several notable British fascists of the 1930s
A snazzy airplane
Several nefarious plots
Formal pajamas
The mystery of the Hypercolor™ kilt
A large number of strong feelings about The Rocketeer
Kitty Pryde’s best costumes
Weaponized cosmic queerness (again)
Power, agency, and the Dark Phoenix Saga
How characters end up with their specific mutations.

NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine, again.

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 169 – Bad Kansas

October 29, 2017 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

SO, THAT’S GRAPHIC. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

Yeah, I’m with Phoenix on this one. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

Oh, that’s NEVER good. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

I’m not gonna say that Havok’s hat is the greatest abomination of this world, but it’s a pretty bad hat. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

Oh, that makes perfect… sense? (Excalibur: Weird War III)

Professor Xavier is a jerk. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

Seriously. Professor Xavier is a jerk. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

It’s hard to be a Phoenix host in a hell dimension. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

Those eyebrows, though. Daaaamn. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

Seriously, those things are off the rails. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

And then the Phoenix defeated the Nazis with the power of gayness. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

Well, that’s one way to do it. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

So, yeah. Giant Naked Cosmic Nazi Space Xavier. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! (New Mutants Summer Special)

Have we mentioned that Brett Blevins is a national treasure and must be protected at all costs? Brett Blevins is a national treasure and must be protected at all costs. (New Mutants Summer Special)

Aw, lurking moppets! (New Mutants Summer Special)

Warlock! We’ve missed you! (New Mutants Summer Special)

Well, that’s one way to make friends. (New Mutants Summer Special)

It’s… it’s… A METAPHOR! (New Mutants Summer Special)

Nothing familiar going on here… (New Mutants Summer Special)

Aw, Rahne. Every dang time. (New Mutants Summer Special)

Mookie has a bright future in P.R. (New Mutants Summer Special)

Welcome to Hunter S. Thompson’s Phantom Tollbooth! Meet Manufactured Consent… (New Mutants Summer Special)

…and a possibly-recognizable political figure. (New Mutants Summer Special)

Media literacy is the real superpower! (No, seriously; it’s really important.) (New Mutants Summer Special)

Somewhere, there’s a parallel universe where Brett Blevins is a really successful political cartoonist. (New Mutants Summer Special)

I’m not sure exactly what we’re supposed to get out of this panel. (New Mutants Summer Special)

This kid is so great. (New Mutants Summer Special)

And now, Situation Ethics! (New Mutants Summer Special)

Burn down the establishment, Mookie! Seize the means of production! (New Mutants Summer Special)

Well, that went some places. (New Mutants Summer Special)

Look, we never said it was a subtle story. (New Mutants Summer Special)

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur: The Fill-Ins!

169 – Bad Kansas

October 22, 2017 Jay 30 comments

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In which Justin Thyme is a forgotten superstar of comics; Nazis should pretty much never be used as a metaphor; Charles Xavier is somehow even worse than usual; Excalibur may lack object permanence; Phoenix defeats Hitler with the power of gayness; we may have hit Peak Nocenti; Brett Blevins should draw Boom Boom forever; and the New Mutants get a taste of media theory.

X-PLAINED:

The exact nature of Shatterstar and Longshot’s relationship
Excalibur: Weird War III
New Mutants Summer Special: A Mutant in Megalopolis
Justin Thyme
Bad Kansas
Nazi Charles Xavier
Kinda-Nazi Moira MacTaggert
The Reichsmen
Lightning Squad (again)
Naked Space Xavier
Largely unsuccessful denouement
The Wobbly Sneaker Gang
Megalopolis
Media theory and several of its anthropomorphic personifications
Socially conscious comics
The Gifted
The New Mutants trailer

NEXT EPISODE: Lockheed X-Plains Excalibur!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 161 – Do You Even Howl, Bro?

August 27, 2017 Jay 6 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

FlameCon Saturday: ABD Squad! (Yes, Tea’s shirt says what you think it does. Yes, Jay’s hands light up. Yes, we think we’re funny.)

FlameCon Party: Billy and Teddy from Young Avengers #15

FlameCon Sunday: Mod Silver Age Emma and Scott.

Excalibur #32

Not unprecedented, until you realize that the whole thing is a fantasy Margaret Thatcher is having in therapy. (Excalibur #32)

YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN?! (Excalibur #32)

Don’t mess with Kitty’s crushes. She’ll cut you. (Excalibur #32)

That is PERFECTLY RESPECTABLE penmanship, thank you very much. (Excalibur #32)

Welcome to St. Subtext’s School for Young Ladies. (Excalibur #32)

(Excalibur #33)

“Also, I’m a superhero.” (Excalibur #33)

(Excalibur #34)

“But you can call me… MR. RAD!” (Excalibur #34)

Let the hijinks commence! (Excalibur #34)

Well, that could’a gone worse. (Excalibur #34)

‘Kay. (Excalibur #34)

Seriously, if I had a dollar for every time I’d woken up like this… (Excalibur #32)

TOO SOON, MESMERO. (Excalibur #33)

Do those abs go all the way… wait, no, that doesn’t even make sense. (Excalibur #33)

But if he can hypnotize her just by making eye contact, why bother doing this? Just to mess with her for fun? Total dick move.(Excalibur #33)

[Ron Howard voice]: There were mistakes. (Excalibur #33)

Oh, great. These assholes, again. (Excalibur #34)

AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (Excalibur #34)

GOOD JOB, EVERYBODY! (Excalibur #34)

Trust me, they’re delightful together. (Excalibur #35)

Well, that escalated quickly. (Excalibur #35)

Aw, kiddo. (Excalibur #35)

Right. That guy. (Excalibur #35)

“But not the one from Alaska. The indefinite article.” (Excalibur #35)

And they all lived grumpily ever after. (Excalibur #35)

Our hero! (Excalibur #36)

It’s a nuanced issue, okay? (Excalibur #36)

This is why we can’t have nice… uncontrolled nuclear things? (Excalibur #36)

Best fight dialogue? Best fight dialogue. And check out that word-balloon cut! (Excalibur #36)

We certainly did not see that coming. (Excalibur #36)

And it DIDN’T ONCE OCCUR TO YOU that this might end badly? (Excalibur #36)

I have no idea what the moral of this story is, but it’s sort of heartwarming anyway. (Excalibur #36)

NEXT EPISODE: The angriest naked man!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

Special thanks to Gavia Baker-Whitelaw for helping us assemble the St. Searle’s marginalia!
Listen to our FlameCon X-Tra Bonus Episode!
The MacDonald Hall books are delightful, and you should read them all immediately.
If you didn’t get Jay’s joke about St. Searle’s, this is for you.
The International Association of Master Penmen, Engrossers, and Teachers of Handwriting is the kind of thing you’ll like, if you like that kind of thing.
We talked about Kitty Pryde and asynchronous social development in Giant-Size Special #1!
D’Spayre last turned up on the podcast in Look Upon My Man-Thing and D’Spayre!

161 – Do You Even Howl, Bro?

August 27, 2017 Jay 22 comments

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In which we return to Excalibur, and Excalibur returns to form; “Girls’ School from Heck” is way better than we remembered; Jay has strong feelings about penmanship; we examine the semantics of field hockey; the band gets back together; Dai Thomas has no time for your comic-book bullshit; and you should never, ever install a good/evil switch in your technological abominations.

X-PLAINED

The first appearances of Colonel Vazhin
Perks of home recording
FlameCon 2017
Jay & Miles at Rose City Comic Con
Excalibur #32-36
“Girls’ School from Heck!”
St. Searle’s School for Young Ladies
St. Trinian’s and a large number of references thereto
Regional variations in boarding school hijinks
Miss Rutherford
A poorly staged panel
Phoebe Huntsman
Kitty Pryde’s penmanship
Margaret Thatcher’s weirdly wholesome fantasies
The kinda-reformation of Mesmero
The end of Chris Claremont’s run on Excalibur
Some complicated contradictions related to the ethics of consumption
An abduction
The ethics of psychic interrogation (kinda)
Mariner disambiguation
A rescue
An unlikely partnership
Darkmoor Research Center
Dr. Walshe
A somewhat convoluted plot
Whether the Danger Room could function as a bathroom
The physics of Asteroid M

NEXT EPISODE: Weapon X!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Special thanks to Gavia Baker-Whitelaw for helping us assemble the St. Searle’s marginalia!

As Mentioned in Episode 153 – Mermaid Parade

April 3, 2017 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!

These two have their moments. (Excalibur #28)

Aw. (Excalibur #28)

“I’m Brian’s significantly more fashion-forward brother.” (Excalibur #28)

…’kay. (Excalibur #28)

Well, then. (Excalibur #28)

I don’t know what you do in fights, but… (Excalibur #28)

Man, these Sweet Valley High novels are getting weird. (Excalibur #28)

The Excalibur #29 wall of shame.

Not every day. Just, y’know, most days. (Excalibur #29)

HEY, KIDS! COMICS! (Excalibur #29)

I just. Wow. (Excalibur #29)

Okay, so, that’s a pretty cool layout.

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE (Excalibur #29)

Breakfast with Excalibur is aggressively informal. (Excalibur #29)

Alysande “I knew I’d have been better off staying home and drinking” Stuart. (Excalibur #30)

Not mentioning W.H.O. here was kind of a waste. (Excalibur #30)

And then Captain Britain got his ass kicked by the elderly. (Excalibur #30)

Good dog. (Excalibur #30)

These delightful scamps! (Excalibur #30)

[Insert Second Coming joke here.] (Excalibur #31)

I really hope they never stop bringing that up, because it never stops being funny. (Excalibur #31)

Um. Can we… maybe not? (Excalibur #31)

LOOK AT THIS GOOFY TURTLE-LOOKING DUDE (Excalibur #31)

They’re about as effective as they look. (Excalibur #31)

NEXT EPISODE: Talking Iceman with Sina Grace!

153 – Mermaid Parade

April 3, 2017 Jay 13 comments

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In which Miles gets an etymology lesson; Nightcrawler is the most dateable guy in the X-Universe; Meggan is basically all the cryptids; Michael Higgins must be stopped; Alistair Stuart is terrible at adulting; we really hope Brian wasn’t too attached to that airplane; and in retrospect, there probably should have been a Spalding Gray joke in there somewhere.

X-PLAINED:

The Montesi Formula
Excalibur #28-31
The Gilded Lady
The quintessential post-college experience
The word “cooter”
Relative gullibility
A generally unacceptable issue
Loungewear
Vampires, kind of
Some uncomfortably colonial imagery
Krakoa, Jr.
The Vega Men
The aftermath of Axis
Colossus’s probable politics

NEXT EPISODE: Talking Iceman with Sina Grace!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

152 – Ghosts of Future Present

March 27, 2017 Jay 57 comments

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In which Franklin Richards makes everything more complicated; Reed Richards is a terrible parent; Days of Future Present is a surprisingly good ghost story; Valeria Richards is awesome (but does not appear in this crossover); everyone’s got hounds these days; Banshee is your sad cyborg dad; Phoenix has a lot of feelings; and X-Factor once again manages to up the ante for child endangerment.

X-PLAINED:

Nightcrawler’s brief clerical career
Days of Future Present
Annuals, in general
Some extraordinarily specific Namor headcanon
Fantastic Four Annual #23
New Mutants Annual #6
X-Factor Annual #5
Uncanny X-Men Annual #14
Franklin Richards
Several statuses quo
The reproductive potential of Doombots
Ms. Marvel (Sharon Ventura)
Ahab
A Code Red Time Emergency
One of Jay’s dream pitches
Your sad cyborg dad
The worst tea party
One hell of a kiss
Robocop vs. Terminator

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur gets eclectic!

The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)