In French, Sabretooth’s name is “Dents du Sabre,” and it’s not nearly as menacing. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #1)
“Fetch the pestridder, Birdy–We’ve got ninjas in the rutabagas.” (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #1)
As seen in Marvel vs. Capcom !(Sabretooth: Death Hunt #1)
Sabretooth is a terrible boss, but marginally better than the Hand, maybe, I guess. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #1)
Ah, yes, the sound of telepathic soothing: PHOOOOOO. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #1)
Note the arms and the axe. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #1)
TURBO-SABRETOOTH! (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #1)
Tribune: Banker. Politician. Pundit. Supervillain. Definitely about to go to BotCon cosplaying his OC. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #1)
This series has consistently excellent covers. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #2)
I was going to make an Elements of Style joke based on that sound effect, but it seemed like kind of a stretch. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #2)
HI, MYSTIQUE! (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #2)
Do you think Mystique spends an inordinate amount of time researching who from the pasts of people she knows will make them the most uncomfortable? Probably. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #2)
I’m not saying this is peak Mystique; but I’m also not saying it’s not. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #2)
Sabretooth: Death Hunt #3: Large Angry Men Yelling!
TEETH. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #3)
I appreciate this panel so damn much. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #3)
“Look at us: just a pair of stone cold badasses doing stone-cold badass stuff.” (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #3)
‘Kay. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #3)
HOW DID HE FIT THE PAULDRONS UNDER THE TUXEDO? (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #3)
I love that Mystique still has her cigarette holder. (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #3)
rghrargh (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #4)
OKAY THEN (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #4)
YEP THIS SURE IS HAPPENING (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #4)
AND SO IS THIS (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #4)
SURE WHY NOT (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #4)
AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER PROBABLY (Sabretooth: Death Hunt #4)
NEXT EPISODE: There should be leprechauns, and there aren’t, and I’m still angry about it.
And now, for your edutainment, a selection of Mark Trail panels, presented in no particular order:
If Jay wrote a Mark Trail parody Twitter account–which we’re certainly not admitting that he does–it would probably read exactly like this one.
The D- Poems of Jeremy Bloom is one of many delightful novels by Gordon Korman, who was a mainstay of Jay’s childhood. (It’s so weird that there are Bruno & Boots movies now!)
In which the Hand probably doesn’t even offer dental; literally everyone is less creepy than the Joker and Harley Quinn; toxic masculinity is Sabretooth’s adamantium; Mark Trail is a wild ride; Wolverine trashes the dress code and gets funky; Larry Hama is your god now; and Sabretooth: Death Hunt scores a solid six on the butt-kick scale.
X-PLAINED:
Mark Trail vs. X-Men
Sabretooth (Victor Creed)
Clones of Sabretooth
Birthday traditions
Sabretooth: Death Hunt #1-4
Ps[i don’t remember; that one guy]
Low-context ninjas
A somewhat tasteful omission, I guess
The glow (and its counterintuitive sound effect)
Turbo Sabretooth
Tribune (Graydon Creed)
Mark Trail
Affirmations with Sabretooth
“Leni Zauber”
Dress codes
The butt-kick scale
A tearaway tuxedo
Dubious grenade handling
Parenting with Mystique
One thing Wolverine knows
The CHK-LIT gun
Comics bankers
A very qualified recommendation
Our preferred versions of Sabretooth’s origin
Relative redeemability
NEXT EPISODE: Siena Blaze and the Mystery of the Missing Leprechauns!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
All of those facial expressions are great. (X-Men #4)
Ewwwww. (X-Men #4)
File this one under “references that haven’t aged all that coherently.” (X-Men #4)
She yelled so hard it changed the shape of the panels! (X-Men #4)
These jerks and their delightful wardrobe! (X-Men #4)
Why is he allowed to live there, again? (X-Men #4)
That is… an outfit. (X-Men #4)
You can almost hear the inchoate yelling. (X-Men #5)
Cerebro is officially ridiculous. I mean, more ridiculous than usual. (X-Men #5)
Psylocke, just admit that you were sunbathing. No one will judge you. (X-Men #5)
More Fenris fashions. (X-Men #5)
“We worked really hard to reconcile the continuity between these two titles, and we wanted to make damn sure that you appreciated the effort.” (X-Men #5)
Cyclops was right. (X-Men #5)
That’s actually a really cool way to transition into a flashback. (X-Men #5)
“In addition to a Mutant Death Factor, I come with my own exposition!” (X-Men #6)
Someone’s crossed the X-axis! (X-Men #6)
He’s also got a dark pink tie in some panels. (X-Men #6)
SERIOUSLY WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS HE’S STUCK IN (X-Men #7)
Psylocke is the master of the deadpan plot twist. (X-Men #7)
If you don’t automatically hear this line delivered by Christian Kane as Eliot Spencer, I don’t know what to tell you. (X-Men #7)
Maverick. (X-Men #7)
It’s rough to be Alison Blaire. (X-Men #5)
I unironically love this trio of dramatic poses; and also the fact that I absolutely believe that these characters would pose dramatically before fights. (X-Men #6)
Aw. (X-Men #6)
NEXT EPISODE: Larry Stroman somehow manages to make the MLF look cool. (Also, there’s a Hulk crossover.)
I’m fairly sure I’ve linked to “Class of ’64” before, but it’s one of the best-developed reimaginings of the X-Men I’ve found, in or out of canon.
Unfortunately, R. Orion Martin’s “X-Men of Color” series no longer appears to be online, but you can learn more about it here and here. (Also worth reading: Darryl Ayo’s rebuttal to Martin’s article.)
David is on vacation this week! We hope you enjoy this substitute illustration of two gentlemen enjoying each other’s company.
In which Miles is almost caught up on The Gifted (but still hasn’t seen The Prisoner and should be very ashamed of himself); Omega Red is a cool action figure but a boring character; Professor Xavier definitely knows what you did last night; Fenris remains delightfully trashy; Weapon X had an improbably high survival rate; Sabretooth cleans up pretty well; we need to work some new rules for dividing up character voices; the Mojoverse has terrible employee benefits; and mongoose blood will definitely not give you superpowers.
X-PLAINED:
Refugees from the Age of Apocalypse
Creative use of teleportation
X-Modifiers
Jay & Miles at Emerald City Comic Con
X-Men vol. 2 #4-7
The sitcom model of creative logistics
One way to bring someone back to life
Mutant Death Factor
Omega Red (Arkady Gregorivich)
Wolverine’s school pictures
Gambit’s ponytail and the logistics thereof
Sex at the X-Mansion
Fenris fashion
Ritualistic facepalming
Moira MacTaggert’s nightmares
Formalwear and motorcycle safety
An elegantly choreographed cockblock
Retracting tentacle logistics
Carbonadium synthesizers
Dr. Pepper Twizzlers
Ponytails as moral compasses
Sabretooth’s excellent taste in formalwear
Ornithology
Those big, weird tube handcuff things
Cyclops and Wolverine’s eventual friendship
The return of Longshot
What would happen if you gave a human a transfusion of mongoose blood
Some X-Cellent fanfiction
X-details we’d change
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor Meets the Hulk!
Special thanks to consulting X-Pert and Actual Scientist Dr. Lauriel Earley!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
I mentioned in the recap that S1E8 of X-Men: Evolution is all about gratuitous Sabretooth close-ups, but just in case I failed to convey their full grandeur, here is a gallery of ten, each from a different shot. Yes, seriously.
Oh, Evolution Season One. You try so hard. And sometimes you hit your mark: sometimes it’s “Turn of the Rogue.”
And then, sometimes, it’s “SpykeCam.”
Here’s the thing about Spyke: he’s a character born of good intentions and just stunningly thin execution. He’s got a lot of potential, but the actual episodes that focus on him–which are fairly few and far between–and his eventual, deeply dubious fate are almost universally weak. I want to like this dude, and sometimes I really do–but often, it’s in spite of, not because of, the stories built around him.
Ah, well. We’ll always have Dracula: The Rock Musical.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/26/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
If this week’s illustration reminds you of last week’s, that’s because they’re two parts of this rad panorama! Again, prints are available until 7/26/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Mystique, what are you even doing? (X-Factor #9)
This, again. (X-Factor #9)
Passing privilege in action! (X-Factor #9)
That’s actually pretty clever. (X-Factor #9)
MOPPETS. (X-Factor #9)
Meanwhile in Apartment 3G… (X-Factor #10)
WRONG CHOICE, ANGEL. (X-Factor #10)
One horseman down, three to go. (X-Factor #10)
Damn, Jean. (X-Factor #10)
Ouch. (X-Factor #10)
OUCH. (X-Factor #10)
There is never a worst time to be a Power kid than during an X-line crossover. (Power Pack #27)
Everyone hates X-Factor. (Power Pack #27)
It really does kind of cheapen Sabretooth’s menace when a bunch of kids can take him down–even these kids. (Power Pack #27)
COMICS FOR KIDS. (Power Pack #27)
And then everything was sad forever. (Power Pack #27)
BEHOLD THIS MAJESTIC THUNDER GOD AND HIS MAJESTIC BEARD! (The Mighty Thor #373)
No, but seriously, though. (The Mighty Thor #373)
Thor has frog friends. (The Mighty Thor #373)
Have we mentioned that we love Thor? We love Thor. (The Mighty Thor #373)
There’s a reason that Walter Simonson is the gold standard for epic dialogue. (The Mighty Thor #374)
Aw. (The Mighty Thor #374)
There’s a lot of straight-up killing on the hero side of this event. (The Mighty Thor #374)
(X-Men #9, specifically.) (The Mighty Thor #374)
Thor: Definitely the best dude you know. (The Mighty Thor #374)
It’s funny, because miscommunication. (X-Factor #11)
“Run! It’s a crossover issue!” (X-Factor #11)
X-Factor drinking game: Drink every time someone has to explain the relationship between X-Factor and the X-Terminators. (X-Factor #11)
Halfway there, Apocalypse! (X-Factor #11)
Ouch. (X-Factor #11)
On the upside: Boom-Boom! (X-Factor #11)
NEXT WEEK: The New Mutants party like it’s 1299!
LINKS & FURTHER READING
Listen to Episode 65–The Mutant Massacre, Part 1–here!
You can find the Mutant Massacre reading order here.
Have you read Walter Simonson’s run of The Mighty Thor yet? You should really go do that. It starts here.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/26/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which we wrap up our first official two-parter; Gambit ruins everything; Rachel has a theory about Mister Sinister; Marvel communication technology is behind the times; Trish Tilby is tired of your bullshit; Walter Simonson is the best of the best; X-Factor pulls it together; Power Pack gets uncomfortably dark; Miles has Thor feelings; and even more mutants die.
NOTE: This episode is the second of a two-parter! If you haven’t listened to Episode 65, where we cover the first half of the mutant massacre, you should probably do that before you listen to this one!
X-PLAINED:
Masque
Tentacle disambiguation
More of the Mutant Massacre
A Sinister hypothesis
Several Marauder-related retcons
X-Factor #9-11
Power Pack #27
The Mighty Thor #373-374
Trish Tilby
Artie & Leech
Several awkward reunions
Walter Simonson
The fall of Angel
Apocalypse’s horsemen
Yet another crossover that will probably scar the Power kids for life
Franklin Richards
Thor, Donald Blake, and Sigurd Jarlson
The best issue of any comic, ever.
The Tunnelers
Ongoing repercussions of the Mutant Massacre
Rachel & Miles’s horseman identities
Which X-Men could and should wield Mjolnir
NEXT WEEK: The New Mutants party like it’s 1299!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/19/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
And so it begins. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
Dazzler vs. Dazzler. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
We’d make a joke about taking a drink for every X-Men/X-Factor near miss, but you’d die of alcohol poisoning before the end of the crossover. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
Aw, Colossus. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
Not sure why Alanis Morisette didn’t bring this up in “Ironic.” (Uncanny X-Men #210)
Good job Kitty. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
Well, damn. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
There’s something really unsettlingly cheery and Silver-Age about this page. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
No idea who the purple individual is, which is a shame, because they seem awesome. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
STORM, NO! DON’T SPLIT THE PARTY! (Uncanny X-Men #211)
Whoa. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
This is the closest they’ll come to an actual conversation until Inferno. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
Whoops. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
So, THAT happened. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
SO, THAT HAPPENED. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
Dani Moonstar’s powers are METAL AS FUCK. (New Mutants #46)
“My powers are limited to the counterculture.” (New Mutants #46)
Powerlessness and the sense of being able to accomplish too little too late are pervasive themes in the Mutant Massacre. (New Mutants #46)
Everything’s sadder when teenagers are reacting to it. (New Mutants #46)
Well, shit. (New Mutants #46)
How have they not learned to listen to Doug by now? He is ALWAYS RIGHT. (New Mutants #46)
Cold, Wolverine. (Uncanny X-Men #212)
In her defense, everything is in fact well and truly fucked. (Uncanny X-Men #212)
And again. See what I meant about the alcohol-poisoning thing? (Uncanny X-Men #212)
You can, however, take a drink when Storm takes off her clothes for no clear reason. (Uncanny X-Men #212)
First mention of the man with the plan! (Uncanny X-Men #212)
Well done, Wolverine! (Uncanny X-Men #212)
I don’t care who you are: Callisto is better at leadership than you. (Uncanny X-Men #212)
It’s cool. It’s just Thor; we’ll be covering that stuff next episode. (Uncanny X-Men #212)
Psylocke’s psychic projection is adorable and also super creepy. (Uncanny X-Men #213)
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/19/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which we hit the first big X-centric crossover; a lot of Morlocks die; X-Factor is a dark farce; Kitty Pryde talks down a mob without using racial slurs; when Doug Ramsey tells you there’s a problem, you listen; and Callisto should be one of the iconic leaders of the Marvel Universe.
X-PLAINED:
Death by intellectual-property dispute
The Mutant Massacre
Mutant Massacres that might have been
Uncanny X-Men #210-213
New Mutants #46
The Marauders
The best way to guarantee the New Mutants’ involvement in a storyline
Limbo fashion
The responsibility of leadership
Wolverine vs. Sabretooth
Psylocke vs. Sabretooth
The evolution of crossovers
Characters we’d like to see more of post-Secret Wars
NEXT WEEK: The Mutant Massacre, Part 2!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!