Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Warpath

As Mentioned in Episode 234 – Magnetic Feels

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WHOA DANG! This is David Wynne’s 200th illustration for our show! Wanna buy one of David’s original illustrations, or commission a new piece? Drop him a line!
Clearly Marvel Unlimited had more success peeling the hologram off the cover of X-Factor #92 than most readers!
What the FUCK, Acolytes? (X-Factor #92)
File this one under “panels that scarred Miles for life.” (X-Factor #92)
Well, that took a turn. (X-Factor #92)
Exodus just nopes the hell outta there. (X-Factor #92)
Oh, fuck off, Senator. (X-Factor #92)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE and/or just don’t build giant racist robots. (X-Factor #92)
“You know, most people would just use the phone.” (X-Factor #92)
This is the worst signature move. (X-Factor #92)
You really would think he’d learn eventually. (X-Factor #92)
Well, that’s awkward. (X-Factor #92)
Holograms really feel like Cable’s home form. (X-Force #25)
Yearbook X, now available on like fifteen CD-roms! (X-Force #25)
Cable is a very considerate home invader. (X-Force #25)
They have fun. (X-Force #25)
Have I decided to include ever panel of Cable getting hugged in this issue? Yes. Yes, I have. (X-Force #25)
He’s a good dude when he remembers to use his words! (X-Force #25)
I mean, there are only two, but that’s two more Cable hugs than we usually get. (X-Force #25)
Cable X-Plains Cable (somewhat). (X-Force #25)
In Magneto’s defense, if I had a bathrobe that nice, I’d wear it everywhere, too. (X-Force #25)
The villain, revealed! (X-Force #25)
Ouch. (X-Force #25)
NEXT EPISODE: Also ouch.

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING

 

234 – Magnetic Feels (Fatal Attractions Part 1)

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WHOA DANG! This is David Wynne’s 200th illustration for our show! Wanna buy one of David’s original illustrations, or commission a new piece? Drop him a line!

In which the Acolytes are pretty terrible; Exodus considers his options; Val Cooper is not wildly trustworthy; Cable uses his words; and people with significant metal implants should probably stop confronting Magneto.

X-PLAINED:

  • How not to get possessed by Mister Sinister
  • Crossover structures
  • How not to make friends or influence people
  • The Acolytes (again)
  • X-Factor #92
  • A total dick move
  • The new Project Wideawake
  • X-Force #25
  • A first appearance
  • Cable #1-3
  • A reunion
  • Avalon
  • Magneto’s bathrobe
  • The evolution of X-Force
  • Mojoworld in the multiverse
  • X-characters who haven’t officially died at least once

NEXT EPISODE: Fatal Extractions!

Happy podiversary to our beloved illustrator, David Wynne!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 225 – Class Reunion (feat. Austin Gorton)

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
I miss when comics had dialogue on their covers! And when Emma Frost was ten feet tall. (New Warriors #10)
“Your uzi is no match for my very tall right boot!” (New Warriors #10)
If Emma’s telepathy weren’t invisible, this is exactly how viscerally violent it would look. (New Warriors #10)
Oh, Speedball – never change. Like, especially into a mopey edgelord with spikes inside his costume. (New Warriors #10)
Angelica Jones, you warm my heart. And also everything else. (New Warriors #10)
The tarot of the who now? (New Warriors #10)
You tell her, Firestar! (New Warriors #10)
Darick Robertson, you sure can draw… everything. (New Warriors #31)
Background-Cyclops is annoyed at the damned teenagers always hogging the phone line with their endless calls and their AOLs. (New Warriors #31)
Cannonball’s facial expression speaks for us all. (New Warriors #31)
Remember – neither of these women actually has flame powers! (New Warriors #31)
I bet there’s a long German word for the terror that comes from knowing you’re about to crash into your friend’s crotch at seventy miles per hour (and a second word for the terror that comes from being on the receiving end). (New Warriors #31)
Shine on, you justifiedly resentful diamond. (New Warriors #31)
That’s it. That’s the whole explanation. (New Warriors #31)
Emma Frost believes strongly in clear labels. (New Warriors #31)
I liked the yellow better, but this ain’t bad. (New Warriors #31)
Next time: X-Factor finally makes it to Genosha!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

225 – Class Reunion (feat. Austin Gorton)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we check in on Firestar and the New Warriors; superheroes often celebrate Bring Your Mom To The Amazon Day; Fabian Nicieza employs only the finest of lampshades; and Emma Frost still doesn’t apologize for blowing up that pony.

X-PLAINED:

  • Vance Astro(vik)
  • Penance (but not that one)
  • Austin Gorton’s X-Aminations
  • New Warriors #10
  • Firestar (Angelica Jones)
  • The New Warriors
  • Visual representations of invisible mutant powers
  • The Hellions (more) (again)
  • Tarot and her Morrisonian powers
  • Bevatrons
  • Oxy-cution
  • The inevitably increasing complexity of superhero origins
  • The Miracle of Microwaves
  • New Warriors #31
  • Nova Roma
  • Magma (Amara Aquilla) (or Allison Crestmere, I guess)
  • A brief and futile attempt at Roman soldier disambiguation
  • Empath and his large collection of red flags
  • Gender-based intuition
  • A massive, stupid, and quickly undone retcon
  • Super-nature versus super-nurture
  • The hypothetical psychological roots of Emma Frost’s fashion phases

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor finally makes it to Genosha!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 221 – Better Than LEGO

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Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Bella, as seen on FaceTime between rounds of headbutting the phone.
The late, great, immensely fluffy Buzz Lightyear.
What, you thought this whole thing was just gonna be photos of cats? (Sorry) (X-Force #20)
Whoops. (X-Force #20)
That hair, though! Why, Shatterstar? WHY? (X-Force #20)
Those spacesuits look incredibly cumbersome. (X-Force #20)
You never forget your favorite ship. (X-Force #20)
That is a GREAT use of a spread. (X-Force #20)
X-Force really only has the one setting. (X-Force #21)
Aw. AW. (X-Force #21)
AWWWWWWWWW (X-Force #21)
“THE TEETH COMMAND IT!” (X-Force #21)
And that’s why you always leave a note. (X-Force #21)
“The guns were inside you all along!” (X-Force #22)
Well, then. (X-Force #22)
But he looks so happy about it! (X-Force #22)
I was gonna make a callback to that one tangent about how Cable probably carries a bunch of tampons because they are useful and he seems like the kind of dude who has a good attitude about menstruation, but it seemed too forced. (X-Force #22)
This is both excessive and silly, Gideon. (X-Force #22)
“Am I forever damned to eat crackers sideways?!” (X-Force #23)
Look at him! He’s just propped up in the corner! (X-Force #23)
OH, SNAP! (X-Force #23)
I’m still kind of peeved that this isn’t spelled out in Sam’s accent. It just feels wrong like this. (X-Force #23)
NEXT EPISODE: Psylocke vs. Revanche!

LINKS & FURTHER MONSTROSITIES:

221 – Better Than LEGO

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Miles stops worrying and learns to love X-Force; you should absolutely not google the phrase “face jam”; the kids take a field trip to Graymalkin; Jay reverse-engineers Shatterstar’s hair; Donald Pierce gets a new job; Sam Guthrie is the most trustworthy man in the Marvel Universe; Cable is your guns grandma; Professor earns its name; X-Force really only has one setting; and not every Sluggo is lit.

X-PLAINED:

  • A bunch of stuff Quicksilver did
  • Several cats
  • X-Force #20-23
  • The Externals (more) (again)
  • A deeply unlikely hairstyle
  • Graymalkin / Ship / Professor
  • A somewhat one-sided reunion
  • Yahoos
  • Inaccurate arithmetic
  • Why Feral sounds like that
  • Neither Tom, Dick, nor Harry
  • War Machine (James Rhodes)
  • Salvage
  • Sam Guthrie’s long trail of dead father figures
  • Shatterstar
  • How to fight an External
  • The seventh plague
  • What Domino’s been up to
  • Hammer’s mom
  • Tigerstryke (more) (again)
  • Sluggo (but not that Sluggo)
  • Learning to appreciate the ’90s

NEXT EPISODE: Psylocke Vs. Revanche!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 214 – Stryfe’s Burn Book

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Look at this gorgeous monstrosity. (Stryfe’s Strike File)
This dude would not appear in the main Marvel Universe until about a decade after he was introduced here. (Stryfe’s Strike File)
FORESHADOWING! (Stryfe’s Strike File)
Mystique’s worst kid, by a fairly wide margin. (Stryfe’s Strike File)
Remember her; she’ll be a big deal later. (Stryfe’s Strike File)
Stryfe: The Worst Kid in Your Fandom. (Stryfe’s Strike File)
SPOILER: This cover is profoundly misleading. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
WARREN KENNETH WORTHINGTON III, YOU DID WHAT?! (Uncanny X-Men #297)
A rare moment of candor from Professor X. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
The only part of this issue that I REALLY have trouble believing is that Jubilee was carying around a second pair of ‘blades just for funsies. Those things are cumbersome as heck. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
DAMNIT, JUBILEE. THIS IS WHY NOBODY TRUSTS YOU. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
Aw. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
And Aw, again. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
Yet a third Aw. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
She’s beauty, she’s grace, she’ll explode your face. (X-Force #19)
Bobby has had a pretty rough year. (X-Force #19)
Slow clap. (X-Force #19)
Vanessa is not having a great time post-X-Force. (X-Force #19)
PHOENIX II DECOLLETAGE! (X-Force #19)
Those are actually… really snazzy team uniforms. Dang. (X-Force #19)
And that was the end of THAT particular metaphor. (X-Force #19)
NEXT EPISODE: Rich people are different from us.

LINKS & FURTHER CONVERSATIONS:

214 – Stryfe’s Burn Book

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which “wolves” proves a remarkably broad category in the 616; we at least nominally wrap up X-Cutioner’s Song; Stryfe could really use a style guide; we issue our first-ever music challenge; Jubilee is an agent of chaos; Gambit’s powers are a metaphor; Charles Xavier has a complicated relationship to disability; the quality of Jay’s penmanship is a matter of official record; Boom Boom is a remarkably good costume designer; Cannonball comes into his own as a leader; and every “WHAT?!” you hear on this show is fresh and original.

X-PLAINED:

  • Wolves, to a very limited extent
  • Jay & Miles (kinda) at NYCC
  • Transcripts
  • X-Cutioner’s Song
  • Stryfe’s Strike File
  • Uncanny X-Men #297
  • X-Force #19
  • A gentle bird caught in a swirling tornado of lust and desperation
  • Shades of me
  • Shades of you
  • Shades of them
  • Our first-ever music challenge
  • Some foreshadowing
  • Nostalgia
  • A very nice hug
  • The one good side effect of Stryfe’s technoorganic virus
  • Charles Xavier vs. disability politics
  • Several practical jokes in very poor taste
  • Teacher-student bonding
  • An excellent epithet
  • Some lettering choices
  • An extended Hail Caesar riff
  • The Clooney Scale
  • An enduring mystery
  • Clone powers
  • Exclamatory logistics

NEXT EPISODE: Hey, remember Excalibur?

MUSIC CHALLENGE: Write and record a song based on or using text from Stryfe’s Strike File (or any of his rants from X-Cutioner’s Song)! Send your masterpieces (or links to ’em) to xplainthexmen(at)gmail(dot)com, with the subject STRYFE SONG!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 159 – Childhood’s End

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
The face of an almost-ten-year-old Miles with no idea what’s on the horizon.
New Mutants #98
That smirk, though. (New Mutants #98)
The weirdly protracted death of Emmanuel da Costa. (New Mutants #98)
Yeah, there’s no way this dude’s coming back. (New Mutants #98)
Somewhere, Dean Pelton is having feelings. (New Mutants #98)
One of many, many homages to the cover of X-Men #138. (New Mutants #99)
LIEFELD KICK! (New Mutants #99)
“I’ve been busy TRAINING MY HAIR TO SWIRL DRAMATICALLY ON CUE.” (New Mutants #99)
New Mutants: the ballet! (New Mutants #99)
Cable, that’s really not how pants–you know what? Never mind. (New Mutants #99)
This goddamn panel. (New Mutants #99)
Oh, man. Right in the feels. (New Mutants #99)
Just spitballing here, but is it maybe because… it’s the final issue? (New Mutants #99)
The end of an era. (New Mutants #100)
You’re not wrong, Cable. (New Mutants #100)
You know you wanna cosplay it. (New Mutants #100)
Feral’s a fun kid, isn’t she? (New Mutants #100)
On one hand: this is a mess. On the other hand: it’s also pretty awesome. The Liefeld conundrum. (New Mutants #100)
That’s not how swords… I mean… damnit. (New Mutants #100)
CABLE, YOU PUT THOSE EXTRA TEETH RIGHT BACK WHERE YOU FOUND THEM. (New Mutants #100)
Okay, that’s a really fun last page. (New Mutants #100)
Next Episode: Beast has a sexistential crisis!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

159 – Childhood’s End

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***NOTE: We’re aware of the audio issues in this episode. We’re still troubleshooting our cross-country setup. Thank you for your patience!***

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Stryfe is the Jan Brady of the Summers family; Miles’s dreams are trampled beneath tiny, delicate feet; Rictor goes on an unnecessary rescue mission; Cable is Washington to Cannonball’s Hamilton; the New Mutants may or may not time travel; Boom Boom scarfs up some chow for the bohunk; you should definitely not mess with Feral’s pigeons; Liefeld fights are pure rule-of-cool; Jay is absolutely not qualified to give legal advice; and we bid a bittersweet goodbye to New Mutants.

X-PLAINED:

  • Zero
  • Production transitions
  • The end of New Mutants
  • New Mutants #98-100
  • Plotting vs. scripting
  • The most valuable issue of New Mutants
  • Gideon
  • Liefeld butts (more) (again)
  • The very dramatic death of Emmanuel da Costa
  • Tolliver
  • Some Spider-Man looking jerk
  • Domino (Neena Thurman)
  • A specific and likely inaccurate timeline
  • Feral (Maria Callasantos)
  • The signature Liefeld Kick™
  • The Tavern on the Green
  • Five or six kinds of mutants
  • A sad goodbye
  • Shatterstar (Gaveedra Seven)
  • Cadre Alliance
  • Nesting habits of the urban bohunk
  • Some rad moves
  • A prologue that is also an epilogue
  • The Stryfe that might have been
  • How Logan fits into the X-Men movie timeline
  • X-Men mostly likely to watch Yuri!!! On Ice
  • Jay at FlameCon!!

NEXT EPISODE: Beast has a sexistential crisis!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)