Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

381 – If We Told You, We’d Have to Kill You

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which real life sucks; Havok may or may not be a bad enough dude to rescue mutantkind; X-Factor quits; CD-ROMs were never THAT cool; subtlety is for suckers; Val Cooper hates nothing more than she hates the U.S. government; and Jamie Madrox wants nothing to do with your nonsense.


  • One way to end a wedding
  • X-Factor #130-133
  • Malice (again)
  • A thumb (and the biting thereof)
  • Barnes (and her hair)
  • The relative versatility of plasma
  • The Brotherhood
  • A ruse and/or retcon
  • Lighting design
  • A CD-ROM
  • The time Jay wrote some Captain America comics
  • The last time you’re gonna see these
  • Trevor Chase (more)
  • One thing that might’ve inspired Jamie Madrox’s heel turn
  • The nature of Jamie Madrox’s relative mortality
  • Brand names
  • Many faked deaths
  • Agent Bowser
  • A very fancy haunted house
  • X-Factor’s true calling
  • The X.S.E. (again)
  • Mutant shifts in adaptations
  • ‘Nuff said

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur vs. Crimson Dawn!

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  1. Hey Jay, I’ve got an odd question unrelated to the episode. Way back when you did the Inner Circle Jerk episode, you said that your friend wrote you a huge email on Sebastian Shaw because he’s her fave, and I was wondering, is there a non-creepy way I can get in contact with her? I wouldn’t ask for her email or anything like that, just if she has a Tumblr or something else publicly accessible. I’m a massive Shaw fan too and we’re really hard to find (he’s really been written like shit since 2008, and getting retconned as Emma’s abuser didn’t help) and it would just be cool to be able to connect with someone who likes the same character for the same reasons from his classic-era stuff. Also it’s a longshot af, but if you ever need a Shaw episode person, I would love to contribute!

    Thanks, and sorry to be off-topic.

  2. Perhaps because of my geographical location at the time of listening (Glasgow), I heard our hosts as saying that Alex dreamed that “a giant Scot” fell on him. Which was confusing.

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