In which Rogue flouts air traffic regulations; Jay is very sorry for how badly he butchers Gambit’s accent; stealth is directly proportionate to how loudly you dress; Rogue and Gambit win the gold in Pairs Punchin’; Candra is a big jerk; you should ABSOLUTELY NOT remove an impaled object; Rogue busts through some tropes; and we have complicated feelings about the Ultimate universe.
X-PLAINED:
Rogue’s biological parents
Marvel New Orleans
Brood Trouble in the Big Easy
Rogue/rogue disambiguation
Rogue #1-4
Bella Donna Boudreaux
What may or may not happen if Rogue kisses a Transformer
Cody Robbins (again)
Natural causes
Supervillain funeral crashers (again)
Inverse Ninja Law (Law of Conservation of Ninjutsu)
The Bill the Pony incident
Relative culpability
Nature vs. nurture
Tante Mattie (Mattie Baptiste)
Candra’s new threads
How long it takes to drive from Westchester, NY, to Caledcott, MI
How Jay learned to love Gambit (but not to stop worrying)
Gris-Gris
Lapin
Fifolet
Punching hallucinations
Questa
Knives as superpowers
Inversions of several gendered superhero tropes
Closure
The limits of intent
Magnetos’ (sometimes) kids’ hair
Whether we’ll cover Ultimate X-Men
NEXT EPISODE: Spiky boys, yelling!
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In which X-Men don’t get to take vacations; Jay makes a somewhat belated announcement; sometimes Gambit is legitimately pretty cool; the assassins get a day-glo-up; The Crow holds up surprisingly well; Gambit gets exiled again; and Artie and Leech damn well better get to live happily ever after.
X-PLAINED:
Rogue and Gambit’s honeymoon
A thing that Jay is working on
Brood Trouble in the Big Easy
Bella Donna Boudreaux
Gambit #1-4
The New Orleans trilogy
“X-Ternally Yours”
The tithe collector
Things about which your mama may or may not have warned you
Dramatic captions
Candra
The Thieves’ and Assassins’ Guilds
The pact
Julian Boudreaux (again)
Henri LeBeau and his mustache
Critical nudity
Terminal nudity
Marius Boudreaux
Accent inconsistencies
Draping
Jean Luc LeBeau
Treachery most foul
(Select elements of) Gamit’s origin story
How thieves get kids
Gambit as a romantic hero
Ungrateful children of the Marvel Universe
Petite Chou
Clubbing with Gambit
Subtlety (for some value of the term)
Lifestyles of the rich and immortal
The Church of Lost Thieves
The Elixir of Life
An undersold side effect
A very lucky break
Artie and Leech’s probable adult lives
Villains we’d like to see on the X-Men
NEXT EPISODE: Rogue!
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In which Ghost Rider has some fairly serious medical issues; you should probably never invite Bishop to a picnic; Gambit’s past catches up with him; it’s always Mardi Gras in Fictional New Orleans; Wolverine is thrilled; and Jay swears a solemn vow.
X-PLAINED:
The Tithe
The Momentary Princess
The T’ieves Guild
Why real New Orleans doesn’t have catacombs
X-Men #8-9
Ghost Rider #26-27
The abstract idea of Nicholas Cage
Genesis
The last of the X-Men
A sick burn
A picnic
Boundaries
Bella Donna Boudreaux and her many apostrophes
Ghost Rider
Psegway
Julian Boudreaux
How not to respond to a speeding ticket
The Bootie Man
Horse names vs. katana names
Cathartic excess
X-holidays
Doomsday
Good characters from awful events
NEXT EPISODE: The Externals, for our sins
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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In which writer Kelly Thompson joins us to talk Rogue and Gambit; Antarctica is Earth’s answer to the Blue Area of the Moon; Kelly unfreezes one of the great X-romances; Rogue has walked a mile in everyone’s shoes; you should probably not take romantic cues from fictional characters; Gambit should always wear hot pink; and continuity is fundamentally messy.
X-PLAINED:
What happened in Antarctica
The Trial of Gambit
Rogue and Gambit
Narrative tension vs. growth
Dueling accents
Kelly’s defining Rogue and Gambit stories
The cool-versus-creepy line
Making deep cuts accessible
The evolution of Rogue
The future of the X-line
Favorite costumes
Equal-opportunity objectification
Fundamental contradictions of continuity
Hawkeye team-ups
Date night with Rogue and Gambit
MTV’s Are You the One
RomCom hybrids
NEXT EPISODE: Meet the N-Men!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!
WELL, THEN. (Uncanny X-Men #264)
“Also, we think they might be slightly evil.” (Uncanny X-Men #264)
Seriously, though, THEY ARE NEVER GOING TO MENTION THE TENTACLES AGAIN. (Uncanny X-Men #264)
But can it teach aerobics? I DON’T THINK SO. (Uncanny X-Men #264)
Wolverine WWII flashbacks are usually pretty fun. (Uncanny X-Men #268)
No, YOU ship it. (Uncanny X-Men #268)
Her hair is so great, though. (Uncanny X-Men #268)
How can one character be so awesome? It seems kind of unfair. (Uncanny X-Men #268)
Don’t fuck with Seraph. She’ll kick your ass and leave you with a blood debt to Viper. (Uncanny X-Men #268)
“Look, it was this or leather pants.” (Uncanny X-Men #268)
It’s fair to assume that whatever Jubilee is doing in the background is roughly a million times more entertaining than whatever’s going on in the A-plot. (Uncanny X-Men #268)
Jim Lee cocktail dresses, topped off with Jim Lee hair. (Uncanny X-Men #268)
It was REALLY HARD to not make this whole visual companion nothing but Jubilee. I hope you appreciate my restraint. (Uncanny X-Men #268)
Remember that time Cap made an awkward pass at Wolverine? (Uncanny X-Men #268)
Come for the broken spine; stay for spoiling the surprise twist! (And yet, somehow, we still love this cover.) (Uncanny X-Men #269)
If I had a dollar for every day I’ve woken up like this… (Uncanny X-Men #269)
In which Jim Lee does a pretty solid Barry Windsor Smith. (Uncanny X-Men #269)
“Now put on some damn pants and fight me!” (Uncanny X-Men #269)
“But you’re… you’re so evil! And sexy!” (Uncanny X-Men #269)
Well, that explains a thing or two. (Uncanny X-Men #269)
It’s really not the Savage Land without a sexy montage. (Uncanny X-Men #269)
Okay. This looks bad. (Uncanny X-Men #269)
It’s easy to make fun of this page, but at the same time, it’s really damn cool. (Uncanny X-Men #269)
Lila Cheney: falls into the heart of a sun, comes back more stylin’ than ever! (Uncanny X-Men #269)
Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!
In which Laura easily is worth a dozen Old Mans Logan; Charlotte Jones is the EveryCop; Genosha remains a fairly versatile allegory; Hydra are totally Nazis; Jubilee gets the best sound effects; Rogue has a bad day; and it’ll take more than a sun to stop Lila Cheney.
X-PLAINED:
Graydon Creed
Logan oversaturation (more) (again)
Uncanny X-Men #264, 268, 269
A somewhat convoluted status quo
Death by Derrida
New York’s sewers (kind of) (maybe)
The Misty Knight rule
Jackets of the ’90s
Cap’s cape
Mustache metaphysics
The Press Gang (again)
VR.5
The Doctrine of Hot Pursuit
Dazzler, in handy grenade form
A prescient scenario
Jim Lee signature cocktail dresses
A dubious approach to first aid
Wolverine’s sexy friends
Nazi ducks
Seraph
Ivan Petrovitch
Sexy subversion
Rogue vs. Carol Danvers
Mutants vs. the Terrigen Mists
TaXonomy of ambiguously X-characters
NEXT EPISODE: Days of Future Present!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)