In which Dazzler is not a team player; Longshot is the Zonker Harris of the X-Men; Juggernaut is That Guy; Rachel and Miles channel Statler and Waldorf; and Alex Summers is seriously never, ever going to finish grad school.
- Mutant X
- The only well-adjusted Scott Summers in the Multiverse
- The Goblin Entity
- Uncanny X-Men #217-219
- The evolution of the X-Men’s lineup
- Standards for a good twist
- Several Dungeons & Dragons analogies
- A dubious literary allusion
- Flying jeeps
- The fundamental tragedy of Longshot
- Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart and several homages thereto
- Geordie and Rupert
- Havok (more) (again)
- Car-wreck sex
- An unfortunate end to a camping trip
- The Plot Bus
- Several ways to stat Rogue up as a D&D character
- Narrative-friendly power sets
Special thanks to:
- The wonderful Adam Warrock, for letting us sample his song “Teamwork” in this episode! You can listen to the full track here, and find more of Adam’s work at adamwarrock.com.
- Harrison Barber for his X-Pert D&D advice (not to mention nearly fifteen years of tolerating our nonsense at the gaming table)!
NEXT WEEK: X-Men: Evolution with Robert N. Skir!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
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Listen to the episode here!
AND NOW, THE CONTEST WINNERS!
Last week, we asked you to pitch your best ideas for X-Men games to win a download code for the <em>Days of Future Past</em> mobile game. (Thanks again, Glitchsoft!)
Before we announce the winners, let us take a moment to rave: You are brilliant, and we are legitimately pretty pissed off that we can’t play most of these games, because they look awesome. We wish we could give you all prizes.
Based on a
complicated imaginary algorithm involving on originality, narrative/gameplay fit and integration, playability, and personal whim, we are pleased to announce that the grand-prize winners are as follow:
1) The Silver-Age X-Men (taking heavily from Season One and First Class), going right up to the Bronze age with the Phoenix/Dark Phoenix Saga. Why?
2) It’s a Japanese-style “dating sim” game, with a heavy focus on character relations. Any mutant combat will cover RPG elements in an old 8-bit Final Fantasy format, with a 5-man team selectable for the squad.
3) Marvel Girl. However, each of the other original 5 X-Men have their own storyline that unlock after beating Jean’s, with Jean’s storyline being the canon one that follows up through her canonical death as the Dark Phoenix (or does it? Multiple endings with potential happy endings, anyone?). Do you choose to follow the canon and romance Cyclops? What about his brooding brother who just wants a damned normal life? Or the magnificent Angel? The brooding Wolverine? The angry Thunderbird? Do you still love Hank when he’s literally blue? Or are you more into Iceman? The potential is endless! Romance Professor X (ewwwwwww) for the bonus unlockable option to play through a storyline as Professor X, manipulating the hell out of your students to your own ends!
As a bonus, any Mutant met can be drawn into the X-Men through specific dialogue choices, though none of the recruited X-Men can be romanced. However, this may alienate other members of the team, and can even cause them to leave the X-Men!
1) X-Treme X-Men
2) Turn-based RPG
3) James Howlett, Kurt Waggoner, Emmeline Frost, Xavier’s Head, Dazzler
Chrono-trigger style game where you travel from timeline to timeline hunting down evil Charles Xaviers, generally in the order you choose. You’d start with a basic team, and collect new members as you go to their individual timelines.
We’ll be e-mailing you those download codes later today!
We also want to take a moment to acknowledge two other really superlative entries. You do not get download codes, so, as a compensation prize, here is another picture of that panel of Cyclops telling Dracula to follow his heart:
1. Kitty Pryde and Wolverine (the ’84-85 miniseries)
2. Ninja Gaiden-esque sidescrolling platformer with melodramatic cutscenes. Ninjas ninjas ninjas.
3. Alternate levels as Kitty getting into trouble in Japan and Wolverine trying to find her. In the last level you can choose which of them to play as you fight the other one, but then the winner has to take on final boss Ogun.
1. Name: Siege Perilous: The Game
2. Platform: pervasive throughout your life. You download an app on your phone and it replaces your twitter, your facebook, your instagram, your contacts, and everything else with the media and social life of a better version of yourself. The game is to learn to live as that person. There is no going back.
3. Playable character: you, but maybe a ninja version of you.
In which Dr. Nemesis is delightful, Bill Sienkiewicz foreshadows himself, Dracula hits on absolutely everyone, Blade Godwins a crossover event, Jubilee get a jet ski, the X-Men do Castlevania 2, Rachel and Miles pick a vacation destination, and Cyclops wants you to follow your heart.
- Dr. Nemesis
- A very good page of a very good comic
- Dracula variations
- X-Men #159
- Appropriate use of holy symbols
- “The D”
- Tomb of Dracula
- Curse of the Mutants
- Crossover events
- Why we can’t have nice things
- Some really sweet weaponry
- The Dracula Reassembly Machine
- Phone sex with Gambit
- The point of being Lord of the Vampires
- Authorial voice in comics
- Why there probably won’t be a Starjammers movie
Next Episode: Rachel and Miles go to Hell (kind of)!
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.
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