Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Chris Claremont

As Mentioned In Episode 23 – Meet the New Mutants

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Art by David Wynne
Nova Roma. It’s probably best not to ask.
These kids!
It’s really convenient that Rahne landed in that particular position. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)
In which Moira MacTaggert is a stone cold badass. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)
Roberto da Costa is so very much Roberto da Costa. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)
He’s also Sunspot! (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)
Meanwhile, a disembodied hand has some opinions to share. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)
Sam Guthrie is such a good kid. Also nigh invulnerable when he’s blastin’! (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)
Danielle Moonstar is the best, and anyone who tells you otherwise is probably trying to sell something. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)
Xi’an Coy Mahn actually been around for a few issues–and made her debut in another title altogether–so she’s an old hand at this. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)
Aw, Bobby. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)
Sam is the nicest henchman ever, and we love him very much. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)
Donald Pierce knows he has standards to meet when it comes to villainous exposition. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)
Remember how Sam is the nicest henchman? (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)
Yeah. Sam is the nicest henchman. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)
Let’s break this down: Bobby’s room contains a pinup calendar and a framed photo of Wolverine; and his idea of heaven is a place where his dead girlfriend can watch him put on tights. Headcanon: Bobby’s secondary mutation is being the most 14-year-old boy of all the 14-year-old-boys, ever. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)
“It is time… FOR A CALLBACK TO MY FIRST APPEARANCE!” (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)
Danielle Moonstar is still the best, and Xavier is not actually a jerk in this book. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)
Aw, Sam. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)
Over nearly a decade, the New Mutants will go from this… (New Mutants #21)
…to this. Marvel, this is why you can’t have nice things. (New Mutants #100)
In her first appearance, Lila Cheney steals and fences Earth. She is the interstellar bandit Joan Jett of the Marvel Universe, and she is wonderful. (New Mutants Annual #1)
The Hellions. They’re all super doomed. (New Mutants #17)
Next week: The X-Men do Barbarella.

23 – Meet the New Mutants

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Art by David Wynne.
Art by David Wynne.

In which Rachel and Miles return triumphant, the X-Men get a second ongoing series, we hit peak Moira MacTaggert, R-A-H-N-E is definitely pronounced “rain,” Sam Guthrie is the nicest henchman, Claremont is hit-and-miss on cultural diversity, and Bobby da Costa is the teenageriest teenager of them all.

X-Plained:

  • Nova Roma
  • The New Mutants and The New Mutants
  • Marvel Graphic Novels
  • Greenberg the Vampire
  • call-backs
  • Karma
  • Wolfsbane
  • Sunspot
  • Cannonball
  • Mirage
  • Whitewashing in superhero comics
  • The mercurial Guthrie family
  • Xi’an the Obscure
  • The Dr. Claw Effect (and why Dr. Doom and Arcade are exceptions)
  • Donald Pierce
  • Eras of New Mutants
  • Lila Cheney
  • The Hellions

Next Week: The X-Men do Barbarella

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

As Mentioned in Episode 20 – The Brood They Carried

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WELL, THEN. (X-Men #161)
SPACE FASHION! (X-Men #161)
Stun bombs are to comics as knockout spray is to cartoons. (X-Men #161)
We really only included this to point out the smoke coming from Wolverine’s underwear. (X-Men #162)
And that’s how you do a cold open. (X-Men #162)
Remember this space whale. It’ll be important later. (X-Men #162)
So, that’s a little creepy, and… (X-Men #162)
…AUGH WAIT WHAT THE HELL?! (X-Men #162)
Fang just cannot catch a break. (X-Men #162)
This is one of very, very few times when Wolverine’s healing factor has been written as at all under his control. (X-Men #162)
How cool would it have been if he’d kept this look? Hint: So cool. (X-Men #162)
Fair warning: This visual companion is basically an excuse to post a lot of really awesome Carol Danvers moments. (X-Men #163)
Cyclops successfully completes TWO whole hugs during the Brood Saga! Also: space fashion. (X-Men #163)
So, THAT’S CREEPY. (X-Men #163)
Remember that thing about how this visual companion is mostly an excuse to post pictures of Carol Danvers being awesome? That. (X-Men #164)
ROCKET SHARKS. (X-Men #164)
Including this just for the dozen people who have written us to ask if Storm’s powers work in space (also covered in the Phoenix Saga, incidentally). (X-Men #164)
In which Claremont and/or Cockrum seem to forget that Kitty’s powers fry electrical systems. (X-Men #164)
BINARY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. (X-Men #164)
Imagine how much of Inferno could have been avoided if the Professor had decided to press this point. (X-Men #164)
AUGH GOD BINARY IS SO AWESOME. (X-Men #164)
Not that Cockrum’s not great, but can we have a moment of silence for how amazingly Neal Adams would’ve drawn this specific panel? (X-Men #164)
If you like the Brood Saga, you should be reading the current Captain Marvel series (and vice versa). This is very much the Carol Danvers of both. (X-Men #164)
That moment when the Brood Saga could’ve become a really heavy-handed reproductive-rights allegory, and we’re all really grateful that it didn’t. (X-Men #164)
Well, fuck. (X-Men #164)
Binary: Too awesome for your stupid airlock. (X-Men #164)
That time Moira MacTaggert manipulated Charles Xavier into starting a second ongoing X-book. (X-Men #165)
Welcome to X-Men, Paul Smith! Hope you survive the experience! (X-Men #165)
Faced with certain and inevitable death, the X-Men decide to go kill some Brood. (X-Men #165)
Rad bromance. (X-Men #165)
CORRECT CHOICE, COLOSSUS. (X-Men #165)
Remember that time Storm became a space whale and quoted Phoenix? (X-Men #165)
Seriously, though: Binary. (X-Men #166)
WELL, THEN. (X-Men #166)
Mostly in here to point out that Kitty’s impending death has not cooled her affection for the Shi’ar fashion machines. (X-Men #166)
Storm X-plains the Acanti, part one. (X-Men #166)
Storm X-plains the Acanti, part two. (X-Men #166)
Our episode outline addresses this panel as follows:
  • KITTY YOU ARE THE BEST NERD
  • DOES CYCLOPS WATCH STAR TREK? DISCUSS. SHOW YOUR WORK.
(X-Men #166)
(X-Men: Evolution Cyclops definitely watches Star Trek, for the record.)
In addition to the shocking reveal, this moment leads to one of stupidest and most avoidable minor continuity errors of the issue. (X-Men #166)
Best Brood moment? Best Brood moment. (X-Men #166)
LOCKHEED! (X-Men #166)
And they all lived happily ever after. (X-Men #166)
OH, WAIT. (X-Men #166)
Just in case you haven’t caught on to the fact that this is an extended thematic and structural riff on the Dark Phoenix Saga. (X-Men #167)
Can we talk about the New Mutants’ adorable collective crush on Magnum, P.I.? (X-Men #167)
THAT SUBTITLE. (X-Men #167)
Kitty’s got a new outfit. Take a drink. (X-Men #167)
Okay. This looks bad. (X-Men #167)
Speaking of the Dark Phoenix Saga… (X-Men #167)
Cyclops has a good day (and completes an unprecedented SECOND successful hug in the same story!), but this plot thread is going to lead straight to Madelyne Pryor, so, that’s probably a net loss. (X-Men #167)
That time Empress Lilandra projected into Reed and Sue Storm’s bedroom to scold them in the middle of the night. (X-Men #167)
Professor Xavier returns to life, and Kitty gets yet ANOTHER new outfit. Two drinks. (X-Men #167)
In which Kitty learns what the reader has known all along. (X-Men #167)
Next Week: Back to the Silver Age (and a very important retcon) with Kurt Busiek!

Further reading:

The Things They Carried, by Tim O’Brien.

20 – The Brood They Carried

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In which Claremont levels up; the Brood are legitimately scary; Colossus is an ethical dude; Nightcrawler and Wolverine share beers in the face of certain death; Storm turns into a space whale; we are Carol Corps for life; New Mutants are really into Magnum, P.I.; Kitty meets a dragon; and Xavier dies (again).

X-Plained:

  • Broo
  • The Brood Saga (X-Men #161-167)
  • Paul Smith
  • Space fashion
  • A really terrible awards ceremony
  • Tim O’Brien’s X-Men
  • The Brood
  • How to tell a good Wolverine story
  • Rocket sharks
  • The single most badass magical-girl transformation sequence of all time
  • Binary
  • The X-Men’s Kobayashi Maru
  • Friendship (more) (again)
  • The Acanti
  • Whether Cyclops watches Star Trek
  • The New Mutants
  • Cloning
  • Our secret cold-open formula
  • Cosmic crossovers

Next Week: Kurt Busiek! We would have words with thee!

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

As Mentioned in Episode 17 – The Island of Dr. Corbeau

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Is there a friendship equivalent to “we ‘ship it”? Because, that. (Uncanny X-Men #154)
And you think it’s a pain when your parents visit. (Uncanny X-Men #154)
Corsair, X-Plained. (Uncanny X-Men #154)
Cyclops: Not all that quick on the uptake. (Uncanny X-Men #154)
Remember when this happened and it was hilarious? (Uncanny X-Men #114)
Get used to it, kid. (Uncanny X-Men #154)
Roy and Phil are the new Harvey and Janet. (Uncanny X-Men #154)
That’s… pretty valid, actually. (Uncanny X-Men #154)
Corsair does a lot of X-Plaining this issue. (Uncanny X-Men #154)
In Cyclops’s defense, he did, in fact, have the worst childhood ever. (Uncanny X-Men #155)
This is basically how the Shi’ar say Hello. (Uncanny X-Men #155)
Never change, Kitty Pryde. (Uncanny X-Men #155)
The lady in the fuchsia coat is hardcore judging you, Corsair. (Uncanny X-Men #155)
The Brood’s arsenal includes a super rad op-art ray. (Uncanny X-Men #155)
‘Kay, then. (Uncanny X-Men #155)
Wolveine is hella into fighting with the Brood, which is good, because he’s gonna be doing a lot of that a couple arcs from now. (Uncanny X-Men #155)
Spoiler: He’s gonna be okay. (Uncanny X-Men #155)
REMEMBER THESE BADASSES? They’re back. And we love them. (Uncanny X-Men #156)
We weren’t kidding when we said Phil and Roy were the new Harvey and Janet. (Uncanny X-Men #156)
THE STARJAMMERS ARE SO RAD THAT WE CAN ONLY TALK ABOUT THEM IN ALL CAPS. (Uncanny X-Men #156)
Hepzibah demonstrates the proper way to interrupt a dramatic moment. P.S. REMEMBER WHEN WE SAID THE STARJAMMERS ARE FUCKING DELIGHTFUL? THE STARJAMMERS ARE FUCKING DELIGHTFUL, YOU GUYS. (Uncanny X-Men #156)
The Brood are dicks, man. (Uncanny X-Men #156)
It’s okay. He’ll be back. (Uncanny X-Men #157)
Yeah, we’re not sure what’s going on in that first outfit, either. (Uncanny X-Men #157)
Uncanny X-Men #157, in which Kitty Pryde saves the world with costumes. Like, seriously.
And then, for no apparent reason, she changes into a Peter Pan outfit. You do you, Kitty. You do you. (Uncanny X-Men #157)
Meanwhile, in Avengers Annual #10, it’s raining Marvels.
Fun fact: Jessica Drew is long-time buds with the X-Men. (Avengers Annual #10)
Well, that explains it. (Uncanny X-Men #158)
Rogue’s default villain M.O. was really, really creepy. (Avengers Annual #10)
REMEMBER HOW THAT HAPPENED AND NONE OF THE AVENGERS SAW ANY PROBLEM WITH IT? (Avengers Annual #10)
You know the runs that gymnasts do as the lead-up to really spectacular tumbling passes? This is Chris Claremont’s equivalent, only instead of doing a bunch of flips, he is going to call out some of the most bullshit writing of the previous year. (Avengers Annual #10)
STANDING. FUCKING. OVATION. That said, it’s pretty depressing that this came out in 1981 and still reads as a lot more progressive than the handling of sexual violence in a lot of current comics. (Avengers Annual #10)
The return of Dr. Peter Corbeau. (Uncanny X-Men #158)
I WONDER IF THIS WILL BECOME RELEVANT LATER. (Uncanny X-Men #158)
Senator Kelly: Still a jerk. (Uncanny X-Men #158)
“Hey, Alex, you know how all you wanted was a normal life? Yeah, I just dropped by to tell you our dad’s been alive for the last twenty years. And he’s a space pirate. And your hat looks stupid.” (Uncanny X-Men #158)
Object lesson: Everyone is Mystique. Everyone is always Mystique. (Uncanny X-Men #158)
Can we talk for a sec about Rogue’s superlative villainface game? (Uncanny X-Men #158)
CAROL MOTHERFUCKING DANVERS. (Uncanny X-Men #158)
Next week is going to be SO AWESOME.

Links and additional reading:

17 – The Island of Dr. Corbeau

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In which we make our Comics Alliance debut, Cyclops makes a startling discovery, Carol Danvers joins the team (sort of), Chris Claremont calls out some bullshit, Havok still has terrible taste in hats, and Peter Corbeau gets his own theme music

Content note: In this episode, we spend a lot of time talking about a rape that occurs in a previous Avengers arc, the community and narrative response thereto, and the larger landscape and ethics of portrayals of sexual violence in superhero comics.

X-Plained

  • Mystique’s mercurial alliances
  • Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men
  • Uncanny X-Men #154-158
  • Avengers Annual #10
  • Bollywood Starjammers
  • The dread Psi-Scream
  • Shi’ar Fashion Technology
  • Dr. Peter Corbeau (more) (again)
  • Rogue
  • Carol Danvers
  • The Whole Marcus Thing
  • Chris Claremont vs. rape culture
  • Computers
  • Gender politics of the Dark Phoenix Saga

Next week: Dracula!

Clarification, since we neglected to specify in the episode: Avengers #200 was written by James Shooter, George Pérez, Bob Layton, and David Michelinie; Avengers Annual #10 was written by Chris Claremont.

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

As Mentioned in Episode 13 – Last Stand on the Moon

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You can tell she’s evil on account of the foreshortening. (X-Men #135)
Well, that escalated quickly. (X-Men #135)
“Inexorable” is a word we use a lot when talking about the Dark Phoenix Saga. This is one of those moments that can only lead in one devastating direction. (X-Men #135)
You can tell it’s a big deal because of the cameos… (X-Men #135)
…and the cross-promotion. Hi, Silver Surfer! (X-Men #135)
MALEFIC DESTINY! Claremont can be pretty overwrought, but for a story like this, we would argue that he is PRECISELY WROUGHT ENOUGH. (X-Men #135)
See, shit like this? This is why “malefic destiny” is an entirely appropriate and to-scale phrase. (X-Men #135)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (X-Men #135)
The Shi’ar: Why You Can’t Have Nice Things. (X-Men #136)
But first, a brief round of Danger Room exposition! (X-Men #136)
In John Grey’s defense, “what to do when your child is possessed by a potentially malevolent cosmic force” is really not covered adequately in most parenting books. (X-Men #136)
Comics Wolverine > Movie Wolverine. (X-Men #136)
If Xander’s crayon speech from that one Buffy episode is not direct homage to this scene, I will EAT MY HAT, and also your hat. (X-Men #136)
GOD DAMNIT, PROFESSOR X. (X-Men #136)
And THAT’S how you do a high-stakes psychic duel! (X-Men #136)
This will definitely not come back to haunt you. DEFINITELY NOT. (X-Men #136)
Maybe we will just put this cover in every single “as mentioned” gallery forever. Really, it deserves it. (X-Men #137)
The Watcher is like the narrative equivalent of pullquotes. (X-Men #137)
One step closer to the end. (X-Men #137)
But first, Beast pretty definitely gets a happy ending from a space massage therapist with epic green sideburns! (X-Men #137)
Again: Comics Wolverine > Movie Wolverine. (X-Men #137)
“I’ll take ‘scenes that always make Rachel tear up’ for 200, Alex.” (X-Men #137)
Yeah. (X-Men #137)
TEAMWORK! (X-Men #137)
“I’ll take ‘scenes that always make Rachel tear up’ for 1000, Alex.” (X-Men #137)
Can we have a moment of silence for this completely and absolutely perfect page? (X-Men #137)
The (definitely absolutely 100% permanent) death of Phoenix. (X-Men #137)
This is one of those covers that will be riffed and referenced until the end of time. (X-Men #138)
X-Men #138 renders 11 of the last 12 episodes of this podcast pretty much redundant.
The end… (X-Men #138)
…and the beginning. (X-Men #138)

P.S. We have some rad new stuff in our store, including dark-background Magneto Made Some Valid Points shirts and Chris Haley’s spiffy new YAYBO! design! Go buy shirts so we can buy comics!

Haley_Yaybo_Shirt

13 – Last Stand on the Moon

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In which Jean commits genocide, the Shi’ar are total dicks (again), we have feelings about X-Men #137, Claremont and Byrne do what they do best, shit gets real on the moon, Kitty joins the team, and the Dark Phoenix Saga concludes.

 

X-Plained:

  • Inhumans
  • The Kree
  • The Terrigen Mist
  • Teamwork
  • The Dark Phoenix
  • Cameos with cosmic implications
  • The Phoenix event horizon
  • Establishing scale
  • Psychic battles
  • The winged never-nudes of the Marvel Universe
  • Danger-room exposition
  • The Shi’ar’s really dubious justice system
  • Why X-Men #137 is the definitive issue of X-Men
  • Pacing
  • The power of friendship
  • Quiet moments
  • The blue area of the moon
  • The best last stand
  • Moon vandalism
  • The Phoenix Retcon

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

As Mentioned in Episode 11 – Who Would Win in a Fight

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Rachel and Miles of 2003, testing out early “Who Would Win in a Fight” hypotheses. Rachel hasn’t had long hair in years, but she still fights dirty.
Cycloptometry, from X-Factor #39.
Some of our favorite X-spinoffs.
That’s Rachel Summers, sending Kitty Pryde’s consciousness back in time in the original “Days of Future Past” comic. (X-Men #141)
Fun fact: the title of this podcast is roughly 90% Michael C. Maronna’s fault. (Photo courtesy of Will McRobb.)
Mystique and Destiny: CANONICAL AS FUCK. (Astonishing X-Men #51)
The Siege Perilous will body-swap you with a Japanese assassin, or send you to Australia, or whatever. Unless you’re Quentin Quire, anyway. (Uncanny X-Men #229)
Lee Forrester takes shit from nobody. (X-Men #143)
You can, in fact, judge this book by its cover. (Nightcrawler #1)
Would you buy logical causality from this man? YES. Yes, you would.
From That One Time Rachel Discovered Blingee and Spent Two Days Doing Nothing but Animating Starbursts on Longshot and Dazzler Covers.
Miles’s favorite superhero.
Just in case you were wondering what it looked like.
Paracyclophus, by Legitimus Maximus.
Janet K. Lee is the inventor of the Metawolverine, the most powerful creature in Canada.
Next week: The Dark Phoenix Saga!

Links and Further Reading: UncannyXMen.net

11 – Who Would Win in a Fight

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In which we answer 45 straight minutes of your questions and alienate everyone with our answer to Jean vs. Emma, Miles is probably too nice to win in a fight, we are really into The Adventures of Pete & Pete, Rachel is the Vega to Miles’s Shepard, Excalibur is awesome, you should stop punching the DNA, Wolverine is Rogue, Longshot is the prettiest man, and Professor X is a pufferfish.

X-Plained:

  • Who would win in a fight
  • The Rachel & Miles Fastball Special
  • Cycloptometry
  • Backissues, collections, and where to find them
  • Podcaster ‘shipping
  • Spinoffs
  • Rachel Summers (more) (again)
  • Five tattoos
  • Non-X stuff we’re into
  • X-Force versus the Comics Code Authority
  • Ultimate X-Men
  • How to keep track of crossovers
  • Textual queerness
  • The Siege Perilous
  • Jean vs. Emma
  • Some good Nightcrawler and Iceman stories
  • Dream teams
  • The Glammest Timeline
  • Best and worst code names
  • Bendis’s X-books
  • X-animals

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Next week: The Dark Phoenix Saga