Dark Beast – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 422 – Cairn Touch This

September 10, 2023 Jay Leave a comment

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If your sick room isn’t a fire hazard, you’re doing it wrong. (X-Men #74)

Well, that’s not good. (X-Men #74)

He’s got a million of ’em. (X-Men #74)

Seriously, Hank, what the hell? (X-Men #75)

I LOVE THESE GUYS THEY ARE SO WEIRD (X-Men #75)

Wolverine has been up to some… stuff. (X-Men #75)

We’re not in Westchester anymore. (X-Men #75)

Hi, Pilgrimm! (X-Men #75)

Hi, Magneto! (X-Men #76)

Hi, Eany and Meany! (X-Men #76)

It is rough to be Maggott. (X-Men #76)

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur isn’t over (quite) yet!

422 – Cairn Touch This

August 27, 2023 Jay 3 comments

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In which the X-Men’s membership is a complicated subject; not all angels know each other; we need to talk about Beast’s Wasp costume; Cecilia Reyes speaks for all reasonable folk; Storm gets a mysterious package; and reading comics day-and-date may not be for everyone.

X-PLAINED:

The variable loyalties of the N’garai
X-Men #74-76
A somewhat atypical team lineup
A whole lotta backstory
How to join the X-Men
Warren Kenneth Worthington III as a religious figure
Flechette clean-up
Teenage drama
Detective Jim Logan
A lot of murder
The N’garai
Beast’s Wasp costume
Explanatory captions for real life
The Ru’tai
Pilgrimm
Mai’Keth the Undying One
The Eye of Kierokk
Maggott’s secret origins
X-Men cartoons for a 7-year-old
Reckoning with loss in comics

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur rushes toward its conclusion

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414 – Blackwater Boy Band

June 18, 2023 Jay 7 comments

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In which Wild Child makes an unlikely Santa Claus; Sabretooth champions continuity; Random’s last name should’a been Violence; Forge doesn’t have to like you; and Mackie’s X-Factor run gets interesting—right before its untimely end.

X-PLAINED:

Another X-Factor
X-Factor #142-145
Unrealized anticipation
Deadline
What Val Cooper wants for Christmas
The evolutionary symbolism of noses
Several breeds of dog
The secret history of Val Cooper and Wild Child
Wildheart
The Secret Empire
The X.U.E. (more) (again)
Ice skating, interrupted
Another cool way to draw Havok’s powers
A clever retcon
The X-Factor that might have been
Greystone’s origins
Micah
A temple of doom
The hierarchy of cool skulls
Branching timelines and the implications thereof
An Alex Summers / Moira MacTaggert chimera

NEXT EPISODE: Gambit, again.

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As Mentioned in Episode 407 – Freshening Up

April 16, 2023 Jay Leave a comment

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(He is not in fact here to help.) (X-Factor #138)

Heh. Omega Red, man. (X-Factor #138)

The most threatening destroyed football you’ll see today. (X-Factor #138)

THAT IS AN EXCELLENT QUESTION. (X-Factor #138)

(Spoiler: That’s Mystique.) (X-Factor #138)

A delightful cover. (X-Factor #139)

This whole sequence is so good. (X-Factor #139)

Ever is weird, and I say that with all respect and admiration! (X-Factor #139)

Dark Beast DEFINITELY has multiple candy-colored iMacs. (X-Factor #139)

Mystique: once again mother of the year. (X-Factor #139)

The preceding page literally had a Slaughterhouse Five reference, and I’m kind of annoyed about it. (X-Factor #140)

Fixx, Greystone, and Archer. (X-Factor #140)

A guy who is probably not Cable. (He’s not; he’s an alternate-future Forge.) (X-Factor #140)

Batman. (X-Factor #140)

There are actually *multiple* people huffing frogs, if you look closely. (X-Factor #141)

SERIOUSLY WHY WOULD YOU EVER TRUST THIS MAN (X-Factor #141)

THE PLOT THICKENS (X-Factor #141)

NEXT EPISODE: Bishop: X.S.E.!

LINKS & FURTHER TIME SINKS

We covered the first X.S.E. miniseries in Episode 340 – Retconaganda.

407 – Freshening Up

April 9, 2023 Jay 11 comments

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In which X-Factor bounces from one rock-bottom to another; Sabretooth gets his (murderous) groove back; Dark Beast embraces the iMac aesthetic; the tip was righteous; Mystique multitasks like a pro; and Shard Bishop has come unstuck in time.

X-PLAINED:

X-Nation
What X-Factor’s been up to
X-Factor #138-141
Omega Red (again)
The Brotherhood’s new hideout
Mallory Brickman
Miles and/or Ralph Brickman
Gloria Brickman
“Freshening up”
Mystique, but a sitcom
Agent Vargas
Ever
The secret purpose of Havok’s Brotherhood
Exhumes vs. emplates
Fixx
Greystone
Archer
The X.U.E.
Bantam
Leisure activities
What would happen if the T-O virus took over Cable’s body
What we want from X-Men #700

NEXT EPISODE: Bishop: X.S.E.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 405 – Morally Purple

April 2, 2023 Jay Leave a comment

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So, that’s a thing. (Cable #-1)

Honestly, I kinda wish Cable had sported this look for longer. (Cable #-1)

THE BOW TIE (Cable #-1)

Cable’s future may be kind of dystopian, but it’s also rad as hell. (Cable #-1)

Damn, bro. (Cable #-1)

On one hand, yes, he’s very dashing. On the other hand, they are definitely foster siblings. (Excalibur #-1)

Hey, we know that guy! (Excalibur #-1)

This is Sabu. Don’t get attached. (Excalibur #-1)

Harry Leland knows how to dress to impress. (Generation X #-1)

I know it’s a byproduct of the foreshortening plus slightly murky colors, but from at least one angle, it looks like Hank has a human-skin rug. (Generation X #-1)

And then they never talked to or mentioned each other again. (Generation X #-1)

Rachel’s cloak is SO GOOD. (Uncanny X-Men #-1)

this genocidal disco motherfucker (Uncanny X-Men #-1)

Tanya, NO. (Uncanny X-Men #-1)

NEXT EPISODE: More flashbacks!

LINKS & FURTHER BACKSTORY

Go check out Al’s podcast, House to Astonish!

405 – Morally Purple

March 27, 2023 Jay 8 comments

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In which Jay returns; babies are bad at pretty much everything; continuity flies straight out the window; Cable should speak English with a Scottish accent; Harry Leland knows how to dress; Tanya Trask makes the same time travel mistake everyone makes; and we love Al Kennedy forever.

X-PLAINED:

Sentry (but not that one)
Babies
Flashback
Cable #-1
Excalibur #-1
Generation X #-1
Uncanny X-Men #-1
The preturn of Angus McWhirter, angry hovercraft-rental guy
Hippie Cable
Veins of science
Yet another time travel loop
What may or may not be how Nightcrawler quit the circus
Sabu
“Science”
A large volume of dubious continuity
Larry Trask (more) (again)
Jay’s cosplay aspirations
Sanctity (Tanya Trask)
The Twelve (somewhat)
A possible splinter timeline
The X-Men of 1602
Rube Goldberg

NEXT EPISODE: Flashback continues!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 386 – No Puppy for Storm

October 2, 2022 Jay Leave a comment

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Sam Guthrie has an Experience. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1997)

D’Gard is a snappy dresser. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1997)

Brotherhood! (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1997)

This is the most menacing Maggott will ever be, ever. (Uncanny X-Men #345)

Who is this metal dude? It remains a mystery to this day. (Uncanny X-Men #345)

Remember when Maggott was Australian? (Uncanny X-Men #345)

Gambit, penitent. (Uncanny X-Men #345)

Thirst-trap Bishop. (Uncanny X-Men #345)

Thirst-trap Deathbird. (Uncanny X-Men #345)

NEXT EPISODE: Party on Mount Wundagore!

386 – No Puppies for Storm

September 25, 2022 Jay 11 comments

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In which treading water isn’t always a bad thing; Storm remains an irresponsible leader; nobody should ever trust Dark Beast; we are befuddled by a large metal man; Maggott makes his debut; and we ship the heck out of Deathbird and Bishop.

X-PLAINED:

The time Captain America dated a supervillain
Treading water
Gene Nation (again)
Uncanny X-Men Annual 1997
Uncanny X-Men #345
Razors
Humanity’s Last Stand
Surprise
Boost and Tether
D’gard
A Star Trek allusion
The Morlock retcon
Maggott (Japheth)
A large metal individual
Foreshadowing
A large, inconvenient spaceship
Magneto’s relationship to Judaism
Recovery from the Legacy Virus

NEXT EPISODE: Field Trip to Mount Wundagore!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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