Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

407 – Freshening Up

In which X-Factor bounces from one rock-bottom to another; Sabretooth gets his (murderous) groove back; Dark Beast embraces the iMac aesthetic; the tip was righteous; Mystique multitasks like a pro; and Shard Bishop has come unstuck in time.


  • X-Nation
  • What X-Factor’s been up to
  • X-Factor #138-141
  • Omega Red (again)
  • The Brotherhood’s new hideout
  • Mallory Brickman
  • Miles and/or Ralph Brickman
  • Gloria Brickman
  • “Freshening up”
  • Mystique, but a sitcom
  • Agent Vargas
  • Ever
  • The secret purpose of Havok’s Brotherhood
  • Exhumes vs. emplates
  • Fixx
  • Greystone
  • Archer
  • The X.U.E.
  • Bantam
  • Leisure activities
  • What would happen if the T-O virus took over Cable’s body
  • What we want from X-Men #700


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  1. It’s already been confirmed that Apocalypse is coming back in one of the “Before the Fall” one-shots.

    I’m hoping that Fall of X isn’t what it sounds like. While I know Krakoa can’t and won’t last forever, I’m not ready to say goodbye to it yet. If anything, I would hope that a 700th issues of X-Men would highlight just how far the X-Men have come and only give hints as to where it is going. I can’t really see them going back to the school setting for the X-Men. Maybe a new generation of New Mutants/Generation X/New X-Men, but not the X-Men proper. Not without a major reset button. But who knows? I’ve been surprised before.

    1. By the way, how cool is it that Ice-Man is getting his own series again?

      The pun was not intended.

    2. I wondering if it’s a typo and it’s “Fail of the Mutants”, so the Cypher-centric issue of Immortal X-Men launching the event is him basically delivering Krakoa’s Annual Performance Reviews of the various members of the Quiet Council, and the Living Island is not impressed with most of them. 🙂

      1. I would buy ten copies if that were the case. One to read and nine to shove onto other people.

        I can just imagine Professor X on his knees, in the throes of despair, mumbling, “I can’t have failed. I know I’m right.”

        1. Doug – In no particular order, I’ve been asked to say the following verbatim, so don’t blame me.

          “Xavier – Where to being with you Chuck… oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Promised no jails on Krakoa, with the Pit as a short term thing and suddenly it’s the ONLY punishment. Conspiracies hidden underneath even the founding of Krakoa. Messed up relationship opportunities with your son aplenty… it’s not going well is it?”

          “Emma – Snappy dresser, snappier wit, you GO girl! A+ rating, and that’s not because you threatened to mindzap us into infancy if we didn’t… Probably”

          “Storm – Effortless style and powers, but for the love of the sacred biome, pick a group already! Are you on the Quiet Council, the Great Ring, or the Brotherhood this week? We can’t keep up.”

          “Kitty – My Speaker said he’d pout for a week if I didn’t give you an A+ rating, and we don’t want that… Not that I wouldn’t have given you an A+ anyway for your sterling efforts. He’s also asked me to express how much he’s loving the Captain Harlock cosplay… I don’t what that is, but I’m a landmass, I don’t have much time for television.”

          “Sinister – If you could just change…. this….”
          Mr S – You just gestrued to all of me
          “Exactly, yes.”

  2. Maybe Mr. Brickman keeps changing his name because he, too, is a shapeshifter or has multiple people inside his head or something. That could also explain why he’s chill about Mystique/Gloria being gone all the time; he’s got his own extra set of secret lives and thinks this is all perfectly normal.

    1. Maybe the twist all along was that Mystique was also MR Brickman, and their conversations were her basically playing both parts (A la Two-Face having conversations with himself)

      Or he had been a different, time displaced, Mystique all along, who realised she had to become Brickman to avoid a nasty paradox.

  3. Whilst I do agree that the “Sideline several characters to make room for the others” is a perfectly valid approach, in this particular case two of the three focus characters were Sabretooth and Mystique, neither of whom were exactly lacking in attention being lavished on them as being horrible people. Shard is good choice, since she seems to be treated more as a plot device than anything else, most of the time.

    Given she had already been Raven Darkholme, with super security clearance to the highest levels of Government for many years, Mystique bothering to be the wife of a minor politician seems to be a very odd choice, and a major step down in terms of influence. Would he be worth the time and effort to invest in?

    I am unfamiliar with what Lysol is, but I suspect it’s something one would not with to apply to sensitive areas (But I am not going to google it as 1) I wish to preserve some degree of naivete about life, and 2) suspect that doing so puts one on watchlists)

    1. Lysol is a disinfectant spray, usually used to kill odors with a vaguely natural scent overpowered by a stringer chemical one. It is definitely not something you’d want to use on sensitive parts. Or any parts, really.

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