Listen to the episode here.
Tag: Fantastic Four
356 – The Michael Bay-eux Tapestry
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify | Android | Email | RSS
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
In which it’s hard to be Joseph; we do our best to explain the inexplicable; Miles is full of feelings; Hulk smashes; and Onslaught finally (mostly) ends.
X-PLAINED:
- Heroes Reborn Return
- Wild times with the Dreaming Celestial
- Onslaught so far
- X-Men #56
- Onslaught: Marvel Universe
- Jay’s definitive Bond
- Joseph (more)
- The physical evolution of Onslaught
- Sense of scale
- Hawkeye (TV series)
- Onslaught’s goals, to what extent they exist
- The three genders
- A really big fight
- A miracle of magnetism
- The (nominal) end of the Age of Heroes
- Beast’s scientific career
- Chamber’s voice
NEXT EPISODE: Several epilogues
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!
As Mentioned in Episode 353 – Scientists and Superheroes
Listen to the episode here.
LINKS & FURTHER SPINOFFS
- I’m pretty sure we’ve linked to Robert Cop before, but just in case, here you go.
353 – Scientists and Superheroes
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify | Android | Email | RSS

In which Dark Beast is an unlikely father figure; Wild Child remains low-budget Wolverine; X-Factor foreshadows the XSE; no one else thwarts Richardses on Doom’s watch; the cow goes “hate”; and Juggernaut fails to grow as a person.
X-PLAINED:
- The Red Ghost
- Onslaught thus far
- X-Factor #126
- Fantastic Four #416
- X-Men Unlimited #12
- Random’s origins (kind of)
- Pinochle
- Kristoff Vernard
- Several villains
- Juggernaut’s adventures in the Gem of Cyttorak
- Gomurr the Ancient (again)
- Spite
- Unreliable narrators
- The evolution of Cyttorak
- Wolverine’s hair
- X-arcs we’d like to see as video games
NEXT EPISODE: To nobody’s surprise, Onslaught.
CORRECTION: Kristoff Vernard is not in fact a clone of Doctor Doom.
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!
As Mentioned in Episode 351 – His Mighty Hand
351 – His Mighty Hand
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify | Android | Email | RSS

In which we enter Phase 2 of Onslaught; Cable is a man of many purposes; Onslaught gets a makeover; Intentions only matter if you’re Longshot; and Sue Richards will pull over this crossover event right now if you don’t behave.
X-PLAINED:
- Red Onslaught
- Onslaught Phase 1
- Uncanny X-Men #336
- Cable #35
- X-Man #19
- X-Force #58
- A large number of team-ups
- Onslaught, but make it a seder
- Watcher undercarriage
- Onslaught’s second form
- Cable and Apocalypse vs. Onslaught
- Nate Grey vs. Sinister
- A trap
- Several flashbacks and fantasies
- Symbolic roles within X-Force
- What Banshee’s sonic scream sounds like
- Pecs as envisioned by Franklin Richards
NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught, of course.
Check out the visual companion to this post on our blog.
Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!
As Mentioned in Episode 350 – The Xavier Protocols
Listen to the episode here!


LINKS & FURTHER CHOICES
- Caps for Sale is a real and delightful book!
- “Magneto’s Cape” is based on “Lily’s Eyes” from the excellent Secret Garden musical.
350 – The Xavier Protocols
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify | Android | Email | RSS



In which we celebrate a milestone with a special collectible episode; there may already be a Charles Xavier in your basement; Onslaught lacks subtlety; Bill Watterson may or may not have changed his licensing policy on Earth-616; guns should not have hair; and Jay once again exercises his questionable lyrical skills.
X-PLAINED:
- Excalibur #100
- Fantastic Four #415
- X-Factor #125
- X-Men #55
- Onslaught (more) (again)
- The Xavier Protocols
- The many secret subbasements of Charles Francis Xavier
- The Xavier Protocols
- An extremely poor file-retrieval system
- Onslaught vs. the Fantastic Four
- Li’l Charlie
- A circus, kind of
- Lang disambiguation
- Onslaught’s new look
- Onslaught vs. several Avengers
- An unlicensed rug
- The only thing Bill Watterson loves
- Metaphorical Turkish delight
- The Brand Corporation (more) (again)
- Dark Descendents
- Hairy guns
- Caps for Sale
- A really big fight
- A very dramatic EMP
- Why Onslaught looks like that
NEXT EPISODE: Yep, more Onslaught!
“Magneto’s Cape” lyrics by Jay Edidin, with apologies to Marsha Norman. Performed by Steve Pence and Adam Faruqi and produced by Adam Faruqi.
CORRECTION: There are only three variant covers to this episode, not four; Jen Vaughn had to bow out due to other commitments.
Check out the visual companion to this post on our blog.
Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!
152 – Ghosts of Future Present
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify | Android | Email | RSS

In which Franklin Richards makes everything more complicated; Reed Richards is a terrible parent; Days of Future Present is a surprisingly good ghost story; Valeria Richards is awesome (but does not appear in this crossover); everyone’s got hounds these days; Banshee is your sad cyborg dad; Phoenix has a lot of feelings; and X-Factor once again manages to up the ante for child endangerment.
X-PLAINED:
- Nightcrawler’s brief clerical career
- Days of Future Present
- Annuals, in general
- Some extraordinarily specific Namor headcanon
- Fantastic Four Annual #23
- New Mutants Annual #6
- X-Factor Annual #5
- Uncanny X-Men Annual #14
- Franklin Richards
- Several statuses quo
- The reproductive potential of Doombots
- Ms. Marvel (Sharon Ventura)
- Ahab
- A Code Red Time Emergency
- One of Jay’s dream pitches
- Your sad cyborg dad
- The worst tea party
- One hell of a kiss
- Robocop vs. Terminator
NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur gets eclectic!
The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week.
Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
As Mentioned in Episode 110 – Lights, Camera, Apocalypse!
Listen to the episode here.

LINKS & FURTHER READING
- ON THE PODCAST:
- Episode 6 – Days of Future Whatever was our first delve into the X-Men cinematic universe.
- You can learn more about Apocalypse in Episode 64 – Ski Lodge of Apocalypse; and Episode 88 – Just Before Dawn.
- You can hear Paul O’Brien–not Kieran Shiach, as we stated in the episode–explain Kang the Conqueror in Episode 85 – Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts: Complex Continuity.
- AT THE MOVIES:
- Jay’s 2014 review of X-Men: Days of Future Past
- Jay’s (spoiler-free) review of X-Men: Apocalypse
- If video’s more your style, we also briefly discussed X-Men: Apocalypse (again, spoiler-free) over here.
- EVERYWHERE ELSE:
- Cast Party is an ongoing series where the ever-splendid Elle Collins casts (and recasts) comic-book movies:
- You, too, can own your very own super stylin’ Elle Was Right t-shirt!