Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Kitty Pryde

As Mentioned in Episode 163 – Shut Up, Conscience

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Soviet Plot is my favorite porn mag. (Marvel Comics Presents #10)
In case you were wondering whether this was an Ann Nocenti story: yes. (Marvel Comics Presents #10)
This picnic is terrible. (Marvel Comics Presents #11)
“Just step out back to the kidnap van!” (Marvel Comics Presents #12)
These fuckers are the worst people in the story. (Marvel Comics Presents #13)
Okay, but seriously, I want a fort like this. (Marvel Comics Presents #11)
“We’ll talk about kyriarchy later, kiddo.” (Marvel Comics Presents #13)
“Okay, but… why did you resign?” (Marvel Comics Presents #14)
Oof. (Marvel Comics Presents #14)
In their defense, this is pretty terrifying. (Marvel Comics Presents #15)
If only they’d given him mongoose blood, he could’a gotten super speed! (Marvel Comics Presents #15)
THESE ASSHOLES, SERIOUSLY. (Marvel Comics Presents #15)
“How did your grandpa die, Zackery?” “Narrative necessity.” (Marvel Comics Presents #16)
And then nothing was ever okay again. The end! (Marvel Comics Presents #17)
Cyclops: Still the worst at vacations. (Marvel Comics Presents #17)
Fun fact: the last time Cyclops was actively hallucinating, he kicked Master Mold’s ass. FORESHADOWING? (Marvel Comics Presents #17)
Moira, this is not an acceptable way to science. Who do you think you are, Charles Xavier? (Marvel Comics Presents #18)
Okay, but did you consider that she might be like one of those cool lizards who can run on water? (Marvel Comics Presents #18)
Cyclops may be a jerk to adults, but he’s canonically pretty decent with little kids. (Marvel Comics Presents #18)
…well, fuck. (Marvel Comics Presents #18)
…well, FUCK. (Marvel Comics Presents #19)
Seriously, Dr. Mustache Guy, what the hell is wrong with you? (Marvel Comics Presents #19)
“I need helper robots. I KNOW, I’LL BUILD LITTLE NAKED ALIENS. THAT’LL BE COOL.” (Marvel Comics Presents #19)
More servitors, because if I have to see this nonsense, you do, too. (Marvel Comics Presents #20)
Shut up, Conscience. (Marvel Comics Presents #20)
“Look, they forgot I even EXISTED for three issues!” (Marvel Comics Presents #20)
“But, like, not the person. The concept. But not really in this story. Anyway, you get the idea, right? Right?” (Marvel Comics Presents #20)
This plan is terrible. (Marvel Comics Presents #21)
Aw. That’s… sort of nice? In an about-to-explode kind of way. (Marvel Comics Presents #24)
NEXT EPISODE: The Mutant Revolution, Live at Rose City Comic Con!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING

163 – Shut Up, Conscience

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Rose City Comic Con was in fact pretty awesome; we return to Marvel Presents; Colossus has a bad day; Ann Nocenti engages in some bipartisan satire; Cyclops has a bad day; Moira MacTaggert gets possessed again; Master Mold is really hard to kill; you should absolutely not send Jay naked leprechaun pictures; sentinels are basically rationalization engines; and that is really not how consciences work.

NOTE: In this episode, we said that the U.S.S.R. dissolved in 1989. That actually happened in 1991.

ADDITIONAL NOTE: THE NYCC PANEL HAS BEEN MOVED. IT IS ON THURSDAY, NOT FRIDAY.

X-PLAINED:

  • Sentinel Aesthetics
  • Prime Sentinels
  • “Colossus: God’s Country”
  • Butt physics
  • The Cold War
  • Colossus’s feelings about porn
  • The Billy Ireland Cartoon Library
  • Some varyingly dubious politics
  • The Cold Warriors
  • Alexander, who is probably not actually either Colonel Sanders or Howard Hughes
  • Bipartisan satire
  • Jay’s grandfather
  • An uncomfortable picnic
  • Limbs
  • Number Six (but not that one)
  • Terrible neighbors
  • “Cyclops: The Retribution Affair”
  • Bobbie and Mary Campbell
  • Master Mold (again)
  • Stephen Lang (again)
  • Servitors
  • A well-honed lobster alert system
  • The Retribution Virus
  • Conscience
  • A terrible party
  • Kitty Pryde’s Gal Pal Squad
  • Community Organizer Magneto

NEXT EPISODE: Live from Rose City Comic Con!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 161 – Do You Even Howl, Bro?

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Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
FlameCon Saturday: ABD Squad! (Yes, Tea’s shirt says what you think it does. Yes, Jay’s hands light up. Yes, we think we’re funny.)
FlameCon Party: Billy and Teddy from Young Avengers #15
FlameCon Sunday: Mod Silver Age Emma and Scott.
Excalibur #32
Not unprecedented, until you realize that the whole thing is a fantasy Margaret Thatcher is having in therapy. (Excalibur #32)
YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN?! (Excalibur #32)
Don’t mess with Kitty’s crushes. She’ll cut you. (Excalibur #32)
That is PERFECTLY RESPECTABLE penmanship, thank you very much. (Excalibur #32)
Welcome to St. Subtext’s School for Young Ladies. (Excalibur #32)
(Excalibur #33)
“Also, I’m a superhero.” (Excalibur #33)
(Excalibur #34)
“But you can call me… MR. RAD!” (Excalibur #34)
Let the hijinks commence! (Excalibur #34)
Well, that could’a gone worse. (Excalibur #34)
‘Kay. (Excalibur #34)
Seriously, if I had a dollar for every time I’d woken up like this… (Excalibur #32)
TOO SOON, MESMERO. (Excalibur #33)
Do those abs go all the way… wait, no, that doesn’t even make sense. (Excalibur #33)
But if he can hypnotize her just by making eye contact, why bother doing this? Just to mess with her for fun? Total dick move.(Excalibur #33)
[Ron Howard voice]: There were mistakes. (Excalibur #33)
Oh, great. These assholes, again. (Excalibur #34)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (Excalibur #34)
GOOD JOB, EVERYBODY! (Excalibur #34)
Trust me, they’re delightful together. (Excalibur #35)
Well, that escalated quickly. (Excalibur #35)
Aw, kiddo. (Excalibur #35)
Right. That guy. (Excalibur #35)
“But not the one from Alaska. The indefinite article.” (Excalibur #35)
And they all lived grumpily ever after. (Excalibur #35)
Our hero! (Excalibur #36)
It’s a nuanced issue, okay? (Excalibur #36)
This is why we can’t have nice… uncontrolled nuclear things? (Excalibur #36)
Best fight dialogue? Best fight dialogue. And check out that word-balloon cut! (Excalibur #36)
We certainly did not see that coming. (Excalibur #36)
And it DIDN’T ONCE OCCUR TO YOU that this might end badly? (Excalibur #36)
I have no idea what the moral of this story is, but it’s sort of heartwarming anyway. (Excalibur #36)
NEXT EPISODE: The angriest naked man!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

161 – Do You Even Howl, Bro?

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we return to Excalibur, and Excalibur returns to form; “Girls’ School from Heck” is way better than we remembered; Jay has strong feelings about penmanship; we examine the semantics of field hockey; the band gets back together; Dai Thomas has no time for your comic-book bullshit; and you should never, ever install a good/evil switch in your technological abominations.

X-PLAINED

  • The first appearances of Colonel Vazhin
  • Perks of home recording
  • FlameCon 2017
  • Jay & Miles at Rose City Comic Con
  • Excalibur #32-36
  • “Girls’ School from Heck!”
  • St. Searle’s School for Young Ladies
  • St. Trinian’s and a large number of references thereto
  • Regional variations in boarding school hijinks
  • Miss Rutherford
  • A poorly staged panel
  • Phoebe Huntsman
  • Kitty Pryde’s penmanship
  • Margaret Thatcher’s weirdly wholesome fantasies
  • The kinda-reformation of Mesmero
  • The end of Chris Claremont’s run on Excalibur
  • Some complicated contradictions related to the ethics of consumption
  • An abduction
  • The ethics of psychic interrogation (kinda)
  • Mariner disambiguation
  • A rescue
  • An unlikely partnership
  • Darkmoor Research Center
  • Dr. Walshe
  • A somewhat convoluted plot
  • Whether the Danger Room could function as a bathroom
  • The physics of Asteroid M

NEXT EPISODE: Weapon X!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Special thanks to Gavia Baker-Whitelaw for helping us assemble the St. Searle’s marginalia!

As Mentioned in Episode 143 – Seduction of the Innocent

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Listen to the episode here.

Illustration by David Wynne
Crusader X has a somewhat expanded power set. (Excalibur #21)
Whatthewho, now? (Excalibur #21)
Okay, but that’s actually a pretty rad outfit. (Excalibur #21)
Or any of a large number of other supervillains, but, y’know. (Excalibur #21)
Okay, this Earth’s Hellfire Club is WAY creepier than the one on 616. (Excalibur #21)
So close, and yet so far… (Excalibur #21)
Well, damn. (Excalibur #21)
More X-analogues from Earth-2122. (Excalibur #22)
Well, no, but… (Excalibur #22)
The personification of a dropped plot thread. (Excalibur #22)
Aw, these wacky kids. (Excalibur #22)
ALAN DAVIS! WE MISSED YOU! (Excalibur #23)
The evil trinity. I would totally read an ongoing comic about these three. (Excalibur #23)
One more evil Illyana, just for fun. (Excalibur #23)
Justicer Bull! (Excalibur #23)
That last word balloon, tho. (Excalibur #23)
This is the last Evil Illyana panel. We promise. BUT IT’S SO AWESOME. (Excalibur #23)
Well. That’s… unambiguous. (Excalibur #24)
Meanwhile… (Excalibur #24)
THOSE MATCHING HAIR SWOOPS! (Excalibur #24)
It’s okay. She just sends ’em home. (Excalibur #24)
“I got just what I wanted! SUBTEXT!” (Excalibur #24)
NEXT EPISODE: 2017 Winter Special, featuring Kid Apocalypse and (hopefully) Dennis Hopeless!

143 – Seduction of the Innocent

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Art by David Wynne.

In which the Cross-Time Caper has finally outstayed its welcome; we bid a reluctant farewell to Alan Davis; Inferno may or may not finally actually be over; Evil Doug Ramsey rocks our socks; the Shadow King is not a particularly nuanced villain; Kitty Pryde celebrates a birthday; and Courtney Ross represents an awful lot of dangling plot threads.

X-PLAINED:

  • Nocturne
  • Excalibur #21-24
  • The end of the Cross-Time Caper
  • Post-Alan Davis Excalibur
  • Chris Wozniak
  • Crusader X
  • Earth-2122
  • How to track Excalibur
  • Phoenix-related telepathic idiosyncracies
  • Our general indifference to the Shadow King
  • An alternate history of Earth-811
  • Earth-23238
  • An extended Judge Dredd riff
  • Puberty
  • Another John Byrne cameo
  • Several variations on Courtney Ross
  • Kitty Pryde’s 15th birthday
  • Nightcrawler’s beard
  • The Siege Courageous

NEXT EPISODE: Giant-Size Winter Special, featuring Kid Apocalypse & Dennis Hopeless!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 136 – Fill-In Frenzy!

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and coffee mugs available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
(We also made a coffee mug, because, I mean, LOOK AT THIS.)
This is a demigod who loves his work. (New Mutants #81)
Backlighting: the difference between camp and divinity. (New Mutants #81)
You almost gotta feel sorry for the guy. Almost (New Mutants #81)
Look at that face. He’s so happy. Like a golden retriever who loves crime. (New Mutants #81)
Encasing people in molten rock kind of seems like the opposite of a rescue, but, sure, go for it. (New Mutants #81)
Aw. (New Mutants #81)
Don’t worry. They die on the next page. (Excalibur #20)
…’Kay. (Excalibur #20)
Not cool, Megan. (Excalibur #20)
Ron Lim’s CB isn’t just a cad, he’s a super-cad! (Excalibur #20)
THIS BAR THO (Excalibur #20)
There’s… there’s a lot going on here. (Excalibur #20)
This damn issue. (Excalibur #20)
She looks so happy about her not-a-pep-talk! (Excalibur #20)
That about covers it, yes. (X-Factor #47)
AUGH (X-Factor #47)
Arch-Bat-Angel-Man. (X-Factor #47)
In his parents’ defense, he did reanimate their dead dog. (X-Factor #47)
This guy. (X-Factor #47)
After looking like evil Zonker Harris, Greg’s secondary superpower is irony. (X-Factor #47)
We may have hit peak Warren Worthington III. (X-Factor #47)
Sensible kids! (X-Factor #47)

LINKS & FURTHER READING

136 – Fill-In Frenzy

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Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and coffee mugs available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and coffee mugs available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which we find the idea of Jack Kirby as G-d deeply comforting; “Jercules” is our new favorite insult; the difference between camp and divinity is good backlighting; Zeus does not have the moral high ground; Ron Lim’s Captain Britain is the definitive cad; the Demon Druid is the saddest supervillain; Archangel broods like it’s his day job; and Jay gets to do all the fun voices for once.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Upstarts
  • An inflatable Batman
  • New Mutants #81
  • Excalibur #20
  • X-Factor #47
  • Our favorite Magma story
  • The best insult
  • Pugilistic impunity
  • A context-inappropriate oath
  • The worst film festival
  • Fighting fire with Magma
  • The Demon Druid
  • A Satanic pirate tavern
  • Reactorhenge
  • The depths of fuchsia
  • Archangel’s deeply weird comfort mechanisms
  • Some dude named Greg
  • Publishing delays

NEXT WEEK: Lady Mandarin, feat. Sarah Kuhn

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Buy prints (or mugs) of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 135 – Kurt Wagner, Warlord of Mars

5 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Best cover, or best cover? (Nah, the best cover is Excalibur #4, but this one is pretty darn good, too.) (Excalibur #16)
Whoops. (Excalibur #16)
I’m throwing in some episode-irrelevant bonus swashbuckling this week, because that’s how much I love you. (Excalibur #16)
SO THERE. (Excalibur #16)
See?! Rachel’s barbarian-warrior costume is TOTALLY P.E.N.I.S.-five! (Excalibur #16)
See also: that one scene from Ghostbusters. (Excalibur #16)
Those are some very well-drawn tentacles. (Excalibur #16)
Remember that one time Kitty Pryde straight-up stabbed someone in the back? BECAUSE THAT HAPPENED. (Excalibur #16)
This is the last Alan Davis cover we’ll see for a while. Please join me in a moment of silent mourning. (Excalibur #17)
Much disguise very mystery. (Excalibur #17)
There is… a lot going on in these two panels. (Excalibur #17)
Except, wait, if this is just a super distant planet, then this ISN’T alt-Jean, except it still sort of is, and there’s also the Lockheed and OH GOD WHAT’S EVEN HAPPENING (Excalibur #17)
FUCK. YEAH. RACHEL. (Excalibur #17)
Nigel Frobisher: a jerk in any universe. (Excalibur #17)
You tried. (Excalibur #17)
‘Kay. (Excalibur #17)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (Excalibur #17)
It’s like Freaky Friday, but only halfway. Vaguely Abnormal Friday. (Excalibur #18)
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN: I would like to lodge my official complaint regarding this shameless waste of Speed Racer homage. Yrs., Jay Edidin (Excalibur #18)
‘Kay. (Excalibur #18)
NOTHING WILL EVER BE OKAY AGAIN. (Excalibur #18)
Jamie is a creep, but his powers are super cool. (Excalibur #18)
I got nothing. (Excalibur #18)
False-flag X-Men covers are kind of a running joke in this series. (Excalibur #19)
NOPE. (Excalibur #19)
Oh, Emma. (Excalibur #19)
Well, that’s unsettling on a lot of levels. (Excalibur #19)
“And then I’m going to feed you ice chips while you’re asleep!” (Excalibur #19)
NEXT EPISODE: Fill-In Frenzy!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

135 – Kurt Wagner, Warlord of Mars (Cross-Time Caper, Part 2)

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which the Cross-Time Caper continues; alliteration is awesome; someone else’s geopolitical conflict is not an appropriate place to play out your pirate fantasies; we are definitely not actually going to eat Alan Davis’s brains; Jamie Braddock is Evil Rex Racer; Widget eats a car; Rick Leonardi is the definitive fill-in artist; the problem is patriarchy; and everything’s sticky in Madripoor.

X-PLAINED:

  • X-Manga
  • Excalibur #16-19
  • Crosstime
  • A John Carter riff
  • A mysterious and dubiously reliable narrator
  • A terrible pick-up line
  • Kymri
  • Anjulie
  • Gender-neutral fantasy armor
  • Implicit fellatio in several media
  • Space Fred Savage
  • An alternate Jean Grey (and her untimely demise)
  • Tullamore Voge
  • A grand tourney
  • A deeply disappointing pastiche
  • ORZ-1
  • Dirty Pair (and a sustained riff thereon)
  • What makes a train sexy
  • Wolverine’s table manners
  • Jim Jaspers vs. Jamie Braddock vs. Jamie Jeffers

NEXT EPISODE: Fill-In Frenzy!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!