In which Miles invokes Freddie Mercury; Polaris is more competent than the rest of X-Factor put together; Armageddon theology does not intersect well with superpowers (or politics, or anything else); Val joins a cult (kind of); Random joins the team (kind of); Haven is a surprisingly nonviolent mass-murderer; Havok is confused by women; and good guys don’t have orbital lasers.
X-PLAINED:
Hope across the multiverse
X-Factor #97-100
Haven (Radha Dastoor)
Man, Mutant, and the New Humanity
A very fashionable outfit
One of the greatest Marvel art submissions of all time
Trinket the cat
Catalogs
A dramatic entrance
Mahapralaya (kind of)
Jamie Madrox vs. Jamie Madrox vs. the Legacy Virus
The Trolley Problem
Possession
Orbital lasers as a metric of morality
Monsoon (Aloba Dastoor)
The apparent death of Jamie Madrox
Our favorite takes on the Phoenix
Who our X-Universe counterparts should be
NEXT EPISODE: A very short engagement!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
I know we talked about her shirt in the episode, but whatever is going on with Threnody’s pelvis in this panel may be even more upsetting. (X-Men #27)
This all seems a tad hypocritical from a man who literally named himself “Mister Sinister.” (X-Men #27)
That’s our Sinister! (X-Men #27)
The lesions really are EXACTLY the same color as her hair. (X-Men #27)
Why did Lefferts’ data require the use of this fancy viewmaster? WHY NOT? (X-Men #27)
He’s basically glam Charles Xavier. (X-Men #27)
Aw, man. (X-Men #27)
SEE WHAT I MEAN?! (X-Men #28)
Jean Grey was right. (X-Men #28)
SCOTT: I understand what you see in Wolverine. His lust for life, his impulsive nature, his soulful eyes, his sensuous hands…
JEAN: Well, this has taken a turn.
(X-Men #28)
No, but seriously. (X-Men #28)
Don’t. Mess. With. Jean. Grey. (X-Men #28)
THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS (X-Men #29)
You’d think the Hellfire Club could afford a decent calligrapher. (X-Men #29)
Betsy Braddock has UNQUESTIONABLY hunted humans for sport. (X-Men #29)
This outfit is amazing. (X-Men #29)
“No, I just didn’t recognize you without your skateboard.” (X-Men #29)
I love how extra Archangel is. (X-Men #29)
Warren, you are definitely not getting invited to Shinobi’s next birthday party. (X-Men #29)
NEXT EPISODE: Haven and her many, many, MANY candles!
Here’s Ben Martin on the Legacy Virus as an AIDS allegory:
I wanted to get a deeper take on the Legacy Virus as an analogy for AIDS. As you’ve mentioned more than once on the pod, it’s clear that’s what the writers had in mind, but I feel it misses the mark in a couple of important ways over the life of the story element.
My first issue with the analogy is that the big stigma about AIDS in the early days was that it only affected gay men, when in fact that was not the case. I was born with a genetic blood disorder called hemophilia, and many of the kids and staff from the hemophilia summer camp I attended as a teenager in the 1990s contracted HIV from contaminated blood products used for treatment. While I was fortunate to avoid the contaminated products, many I grew up with did not, as half of all people with hemophilia in the U.S., including 90% of those with severe hemophilia, contracted HIV. You may remember Ryan White, who did a lot of public outreach about HIV and AIDS after contracting it through treatment for his hemophilia. With the exception of Moira MacTaggart, the Legacy Virus only targeted mutants, meaning it missed the mark on the way AIDS was incorrectly and maliciously used as a propaganda weapon against homosexuals, when in fact it was something that could affect anyone who contracted it. Leaving out that aspect is a disservice to the wide range of people affected by HIV and AIDS in my view. I would have loved to see a human villain use the Legacy Virus to stir up hatred, only to find out they contracted it themselves. Maybe that’s what they tried to do with Moira, but I recall either Beast or Xavier saying it’s likely she only contracted it through prolonged exposure to it while studying it.
My second issue is that, through the magic of comic book science, the Legacy Virus was altogether wiped out (with the exception of a few samples in test tubes that popped up in an X-Force run as far as I know). My friends who are still living with HIV and AIDS today do so with a decreased quality of life and tons of medication. They are, fortunately, alive, but their lives are not what they were before. That’s a smaller nitpick, but I personally think it would have been really interesting to see characters contract the virus, receive the cure, but still be living with some consequences of the disease in some way, whether it be a change to their mutant powers or just poor health in general or something like that.
On a side note, if you can find it, there’s a fantastic 2010 documentary called “Bad Blood: A Cautionary Tale” currently available on Amazon Prime that explores the impact of HIV on the hemophilia community. It’s very powerful and is an important story.
In which Jay proposes a new way of comparing superheroes; Beast faces an ethical dilemma; Mister Sinister has an Xavier moment; Sabretooth is a terrible houseguest; Cyclops totally gets what you see in Wolverine; Psylocke would absolutely be into hunting humans for sport; Sage probably vapes; rich people are definitely not like us; Shinobi Shaw is his own best friend; and Classic X-Men backup stories are canonical as hell.
X-PLAINED:
Blue Team vs. Gold Team
X-Men #27-29
Threnody
The fate of Infectia
One of Mister Sinister’s favorite aliases
Dr. Gordon Lefferts
Several complicated choices
A very frustrating cover
A secret meeting
The dubious evolution of Charles Xavier
Communication
An invitation
A sick burn
Rich people
The key to happiness
The theoretical adventures of Honey Badger and Princess Powerful
NEXT EPISODE: Val Cooper joins a cult!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which there is only one Big Pine Key; Empyrean is actually a pretty sensible dude; the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants are ride-or-die; you should probably avoid setting X-Men stories in Phoenix, Arizona; Adam X the X-Treme is the Longshot of the 1990s; Miles adopts a ship; heteronormativity is why we can’t have nice things; and you should really seriously come see us at ECCC!
X-PLAINED:
Why Nate Grey is Like That
X-Men Annual #2
X-Force Annual #2
The worst book Aron Wisenfeld ever drew
Big Pine Key
Empyrean
Jonathan Chambers
A very fancy bathrobe
What’s going on in Psylocke’s head
Pallative care for late-stage Legacy virus patients
Revanche’s fairly bleak legacy
X-Men: Time Gliders
How to dress to discuss Adam X the X-Treme
Adam X the X-Treme
Personal lettering styles
Michelle
Flashing, but not like that
Martin Strong
Miles’s new ship
Subtext vs. canon
Heteronormativity
X-Crayons
NEXT EPISODE: Jay gets really emotional about a remote control.
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Surprisingly, not the worst trip either of them has been on. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1)
Welcome to the future. Hope you survive the… y’know. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1)
I kind of feel like most parents would be a little irritated if their kids did this. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1)
Despite the cybernetics, this is definitely the closest li’l Nathan Christopher has ever looked to an actual human baby. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1)
That is the face of a man who knows he will never, ever get to take a real vacation. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1)
We see what you did, there. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #2)
Parents, amirite? (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #2)
It takes a certain degree of dedication to throw an orgy this boring. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #2)
That’s our Stryfe! (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #2)
Apocalypse’s future look. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #2)
Gene Ha is so good at weird cyborgs! (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #2)
“Also, where do babies come from?” (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #3)
I love the conceit that everyone in the future gives them shit for PDA. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #3)
OH, HEY, IT’S THE LEGACY VIRUS. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #3)
Quite literally face to face. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #3)
Nobody likes Stryfe. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #3)
And you thought puberty hit you hard. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
Aw, Rachel. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
“Also, I was thinking we could do brunch sometime. No? Too soon?” (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
This dysfunctional fictional family is so damn important to me. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
Clone Problems(TM). (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
I mean, the first time aside from THE ENTIRETY OF THE LAST TWELVE YEARS. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
I’m not crying. You’re crying. We’re both crying. Everyone is crying. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
This comic, man. Right in the feels. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
We don’t usually post pages that we also read, but we couldn’t in good conscience leave this one out. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
“Time to get a lot of guns and some snappy one-liners.” (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #4)
NEXT EPISODE: Bring kleenex.
LINKS & FURTHER FESTIVITY:
David Wynne is awesome! Here’s where you can find him on the Internet:
In which we are beset by festivity; Scott Summers still can’t take a vacation; the Daysprings are a really good family; “G’journey” is a really good greeting; Stryfe is his own namesake; retcons have served Cable well; illustrator David Wynne makes his X-Plain podcast debut; and you should probably go ahead and get a shelf for all these awards.
X-PLAINED:
The Hayes family
The Grey-Summers Family circa 1993
The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1-4
Summers/Sommers disambiguation
Gene Ha
Time travel
Earth-4935
Mother Askani
Prelate Ch’vayre
What “Askani” means
When and whether Cable sleeps
The passage of time
Slym and Redd Dayspring
A biblical allusion
A very good greeting
Prior Turrin
“Old” English
Li’l Stryfe
Some constraints of superhero comics
Parenting
Rachel Summers’s self-image
The origin of Cable’s codename
David Wynne and his art
“Strontium Dogs”
The X-Fandom starter pack
The Fifth Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence
D&D with the Blue Team
All-New staying power
Fictional intersectionality
Change, in general
NEXT EPISODE: Bring kleenex.
CORRECTION: In this episode, Miles states that Scott and Jean are cool. They are, in fact, categorically uncool. We regret the error.
Special thanks to carolers Tina Carleton, Matt Gardner, Peter Gresser, Erin Pence, and Steve Pence!
Check out the visual companion to this episode–along with all the song lyrics and the complete Corbeau awards–on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
I mean, it’s not that much worse than Botox. (Uncanny X-Men #301)
Of all the people Gamesmaster could choose to bring to the forefront of his mind, he chose these assholes. (Uncanny X-Men #301)
I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING (Uncanny X-Men #301)
Yes, yes, you’ve made some terrible mistakes, Forge – but at least you’re wearing those shorts again! (Uncanny X-Men #301)
Miles would totally buy that action figure. (Uncanny X-Men #301)
This is how you comic book. (Uncanny X-Men #301)
Damn, Romita. Damn, Storm. (Uncanny X-Men #302)
Just repeat to yourself: it’s just a show, I should really just relax! (Uncanny X-Men #302)
Plato called this “the noble lie”. (Uncanny X-Men #302)
You know, I guess that is about how you’d have to angle your hips if you were balancing on one leg because some green-haired jerk from the future cut off your other one. (Uncanny X-Men #302)
Should’ve known that guy was a racist asshole – look at the color of his baseball cap. (Uncanny X-Men #302)
Can’t blame the guy – for being furious or for pummeling Fitzroy. (Uncanny X-Men #302)
Yes, Jay, Kitty looks pretty weird in this panel, but – FEELINGS! (Uncanny X-Men #302)
Dammit, Friends of Humanity, give Madrox his outfit back! And also stop being murderous bigots! (X-Force #24)
Rusty and Skids have been focusing pretty hard on good posture since leaving the New Mutants. (X-Force #24)
Who has the worse employees, Sam Guthrie or Alex Summers? (X-Force #24)
“Thanks for holding me up while I practice my Liefeld kicks, buddy!” (X-Force #24)
Petey the Dog reference: $34.95. Improbable toaster gun: $1750.00. The look on Grizzly’s face: priceless.(X-Force #24)
Magneto is the best at Space Tetris. (X-Force #24)
Boom-Boom and Feral: best frenemies ever. (X-Force #24)
Remember, at least two of these characters used to train with X-Factor. (X-Force #24)
Boom-Boom and Feral: still the best frenemies ever. (X-Force #24)
Fair enough, kids. (X-Force #24)
Jay’s Warlock figure still kinda freaks Miles out.
Next time: our fifth annual Giant-Size Winter Special!
In which it still sucks to be a Rasputin; John Romita Jr. has a solid, if muscular, grasp of anatomy; Jay and Miles are better exes than Forge and anyone; and Cannonball’s many younger siblings have almost prepared him for running X-Force.
X-PLAINED:
Peters Parker
The Merry X-Men Holiday Special
Comic book release schedules vs. J&MXPtXM
Uncanny X-Men #301-302
Trevor F**king Fitzroy, possibly the worst Upstart
Comics Code Authority closeting versus real-life closeting
21st Century Torture Devices
Risky mood fonts
Robert’s Rules of Upstart Order (this week)
Gamesmaster vs. the Isolationist
Shinobi Shaw: Good At Sex
Russian tragedy (more, again)
Charles Xavier and his poor decisions
Shi’ar tech support
Pants and villainy
Racist jerks vs. rhetorical questions
TIME PARADOX
Weirdly specific contingencies
Piotr Rasputin and his justified fury
X-Force #24
Meaningless (but fun!) timestamps
The Friends of Humanity (who are not our friends)
Rusty and Skids’ latest arrest
Disappointed Dad Sam Guthrie
Action vs. public perception
Vinz Clortho
Domino’s continuing quest to figure out what exactly an X-Force is
The dramatic return of… well, you know
Spacesuit logistics
Numerical universe designations
Plastic Warlock
NEXT EPISODE: Our Fifth Annual Giant-Size Winter Special!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
Who Wore It Better, Garden of Earthly Delights Edition! Genosha, or… (X-Factor #89)
…Hieronymus Bosch? (Bosh. Definitely Bosch.)
Oh, kiddo. (X-Factor #89)
Romance! (X-Factor #88)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (X-Factor #89)
Big mood. (X-Factor #90)
Remember when Alex Summers was actually pretty awesome? (X-Factor #90)
GENOSHA WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU (so much) (X-Factor #90)
Harsh but valid. (X-Factor #90)
Meet Mutate #24601, whose mutant power is probably painfully complex internal rhymes. (X-Factor #90)
Aw, these goofballs. (X-Factor #90)
Genosha’s sanitation system is ridiculous. (X-Factor #91)
A+ lurking, Rahne! (X-Factor #91)
This definitely won’t come back to haunt Jamie. (It definitely will.) (X-Factor #91)
NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine vs. Everything!
At the End of the Fight
Lyrics by Jay Edidin, with apologies to Herbert Kretzmer
Performed by *Luz Bianca, Greg Black, Jeremy Borders, Lucas Brown, Kitty Byrne, *Tina Carelton, *Finn Carter, Everett Christensen, Veryan Croggan, Chris Eddleman, *Christina Eddleman, edibleflowers, Sol Foster, Emily Freville, Matt Gardner, Eric Michael Gray, Pete Gresser, Becky Hawkins, Andrew Hill, Jeff Holland, Al Kennedy, Steve Lacey, Kevin Lanigan, Elana Levin, *Alex Lundquist, Dan McMahon, William Mason, Steve Neal, notwhelmedyet (Lynn), Duck Orsino, Shannon Pack, Erin Pence, *Steve Pence, Philthy, Mariana Poole, rainproof, Samantha Riedel, Scott Sharplin, Adam Slevison, Richaundra Thursday, Dave Tomaine, Devin Toohey, and Grace Young. *Soloists
[X-FACTOR] At the end of the fight you’re another page older And that’s all you can say for the X-Factor life It’s a struggle, it’s a war And just when you think that you’re winning You find yourself stuck on the moon, facing down Stryfe And the fight’s just beginning
At the end of the fight you’re another fight older And the X on your jacket won’t keep out the chill And the readers all hurry past To the six other X-books they’re buying As the Legacy Virus spreads fast, ready to kill One fight nearer to dying
[COMPANY] A tthe end of the fight there’s another fight coming A crossover next week, an annual soon Like a storm that’ll break any second Foreshadowing Fatal Attractions There’s a reckoning still to be reckoned Plus the critics’ hot takes and reactions And the future is not looking bright At the end of the fight
[VAL COOPER] At the end of the fight there will be a debriefing You don’t get to slack in a government job
[STRONG GUY] We’ve got better things to do And this system doesn’t seem fair After all, we threw all the punches
[POLARIS] Plus, we don’t care
[STRONG GUY+ WOLFSBANE] And we need a vacation.
[MULTIPLEMAN] Have you seen how Val Cooper is fuming today
[QUICKSILVER] She might be possessed, she seems so out of sorts
[VAL] Step it up Summers, there’s paperwork waiting– They’re not dissertations, just mission reports
[COMPANY] At the end of the fight it’s another fight over To whatever extent superhero fights end Fight Magneto, fight the Blob Fight some guy we just met in a sewer What the hell, at least it’s a job Just find us the next evildoer ‘Cause there’s no resolution in sight At the end of the fight
LINKS & FURTHER NONSENSE:
David Dinkins was New York City’s first Black mayor and a pretty interesting dude.
