What you see is pretty much what you get. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
Cybernetic fuckboys. Don’t worry, they’re all going to die soon. For now. Mostly. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
That is… certainly some dialogue, there. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
And that’s why she’s the boss. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
“We eat dinner naked. It’s very sexy. And then we do the sexy dishes, sexily.” (Uncanny X-Men #281)
Oh, no! Not Bevatron! (Uncanny X-Men #281)
If you had told me a year ago that there was armor worse than Cameron Hodge’s ruby quartz armor, I would not have believed you. Mea culpa. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
Oh, no, not again. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
OH HELL YES. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
Professor X is kind of a sore winner. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
And then, suddenly, Storm was telekinetic. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
That’s gotta sting. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
“But first, The Very Hungry Caterpillar.” (Uncanny X-Men #282)
Earth-1191 is AMAZING. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
I really want to know if all these criminals dressed up special for the occasion, or if this is just what everyone hangs out looking like in the future. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
ABOUT DAMN TIME. (See what I did, there?) (Uncanny X-Men #282)
“Ha, ha!” (Uncanny X-Men #283)
Aw, this kid. (Uncanny X-Men #283)
“I’m going to the comics shop to cancel my subscription RIGHT NOW!” (Uncanny X-Men #283)
Bishop, I know you come from a difficult timeline, but even you have to appreciate how rad that Walt Simonson Archangel design is. (Uncanny X-Men #283)
Are… Iceman and Colossus levitating? (Uncanny X-Men #283)
This is why we–or at least the Upstarts–can’t have nice things. (Uncanny X-Men #283)
In which Jay is deeply invested in The Gifted; Trevor Fitzroy is generally inexcusable; there are a lot of reasons to be uncomfortable in the Hellfire Club; the mix just got altered in this little clambake; Jean Grey (kind of) dies (again); Earth-1191 gives the Age of Apocalypse some glam competition; Lucas Bishop is a pretty decent metaphor for fan culture; everyone is probably Kang the Conqueror; and now Miles really has no excuse for not watching The Prisoner.
X-PLAINED:
The Chronomancer and his Chronobots
The Gifted
Lucas Bishop’s creative origins
Trevor Fitzroy
Goatee Theory
X-Factor #67
Uncanny X-Men #281-283
Dapper Lesbian Shinobi Shaw
A briefly useful mnemonic
Cybernetic fuckboys
The return of Warren Kenneth Worthington III’s hair
Beef and Bevatron
The deaths of the Hellions
Warhammer
Some of the challenges of X-Plaining the ’90s
Bringing a knife to a Sentinel fight
Bantam
A bunch of bad guys from the future
Bishop
Randall
Malcolm
Earth-1191
The Gamemaster
X-Men we’d like to see come out as trans (revisited)
Whether either or both of us are Kang the Conquerer
NEXT EPISODE: Pouches and Guns
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
We saw X-Men in the middle of a road trip the summer after our senior year of high school. Terrible vacation; fun movie.
X2: X-Men United is a very loose adaptation of one of our favorite X-Men stories: the Marvel Graphic Novel God Loves, Man Kills.
The less said about X-Men: The Last Stand, the better.
Jay can’t look at this X-Men: First Class poster without thinking of the Buckaroo Banzai end credits. It’s a blessing and a curse.
X-Men: Days of Future Past is one of the more ambitious retcons ever to grace the big screen.
X-Men: Apocalypse opens in the U.S. on May 27; and everywhere else at some point in the surrounding weeks.
Apocalypse’s on-panel debut… (X-Factor #5)
…and the first time we saw his signature costume. (X-Factor #6)
“Let’s adopt him and, I dunno, feed him scarab blood? Look, man, I’m making this up as I go along.” (Rise of Apocalypse #1)
Apocalypse’s true, diabolical plan, as realized in “The Twelve”: To capture a bunch of mutants and I guess put them in little terrariums? Apocalypse is a complicated guy. (Uncanny X-Men #377)
Apocalypse: Somehow actually more progressive than Doctor Who. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1)
The mechanics of Apocalypse’s body–and relative immortality–vary wildly from series to series. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #2)
In the Age of Apocalypse, Apocalypse takes over Earth ahead of schedule and makes everything super glam. (X-Men: Alpha)
Deadpool may not be an X-Man, but his movie did feature the best version of the X-Men costumes to show up so far on screen.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which the X-Men cinematic universe is a really mixed bag; Kang the Conqueror ruins everything; everyone wants a Sphinx hovercraft; Elle was right; and we bring you up to speed on all things En Sabah Nur–just in time for X-Men: Apocalypse!
X-PLAINED:
How Chamber got his torso back (and then lost it again)(twice)
Several ways to count X-Men movies
X-Men
X2: X-Men United
X-Men: The Last Stand
X-Men: First Class
X-Men: Days of Future Past
Adaptation anxiety
Distillation vs. dilution
Apocalypse (En Sabah Nur)
Rise of Apocalypse #1-4
Akkaba
Dubious survival tips
Fantastic Four #19
Doctor Strange #53
Ozymandias
Various horsemen of Apocalypse
Age of Apocalypse (Earth-295)
The Twelve
Cinematic X-costumes
Cast Party
NEXT WEEK: Excalibur joins Inferno!
CORRECTION: In this episode, Jay states that Kieran Shiach explained Kang in the Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts. It was, in fact, the amazing Paul O’Brien. Mea culpa.
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!