Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Morlocks

As Mentioned in Episode 220 – On Your Bike

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Who wore it better? (Excalibur #61)
I’m pretty sure nobody actually cares about Micromax; but, whatever. (Excalibur #61)
Widget, stop that immediately. (Excalibur #61)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (Excalibur #61)
If there’s anything this series has taught us, it’s never to trust a man named Nigel. (Excalibur #62)
In case you’re wondering, most of this visual companion is going to be pictures of cool-looking Warpies. (Excalibur #62)
No, seriously. (Excalibur #62)
Aw, Beetroot. (Excalibur #62)
This poor kid. (Excalibur #62)
*Snerk* (Excalibur #62)
WARPIES, THO (Excalibur #63)
Aw. (Excalibur #63)
What’s that you say? More Warpies? WE’VE GOT YOUR BACK! (Excalibur #63)
I’m not even going to bother captioning these. You know the drill. (Excalibur #63)
(Excalibur #63)
(Excalibur #63)
Widget and the amazing technicolor future genocide by giant r–well, that took a bit of a turn. (Excalibur #64)
PRO TIP: If you stare long enough at your friends and neighbors’ faces without blinking, they will also do this eventually. (Excalibur #65)
Rowr. (Excalibur #65)
“Well, that can’t be good.” (Excalibur #65)
Ouch, dang. (Excalibur #65)
Aw, Oak. You’re a good dude. (Excalibur #65)
And that, as they say, is that. For now. (Excalibur #65)
NEXT EPISODE: Space Fight!

LINKS & FURTHER DUBIOUS LIFE CHOICES:

220 – On Your Bike

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we approach the end of Alan Davis’s Excalibur run; “duopenultimate” is not actually a word; Captain Britain pops the question; we do in fact (kinda) get follow-up on Alysande Stuart’s death; Miles needs to get a little less credulous about bureaucrats’ good intentions; Shadowcat engages in espionage; Nightcrawler and Cerise are tactically saucy; and the sun definitely ought to set on the British Empire.

X-PLAINED:

  • Warpies
  • Excalibur #61-65
  • The Jaspers Warp (more) (again)
  • The RCX (more) (again)
  • Agents Gabriel and Michael
  • What happened to Jay’s mom’s Hypercolor™ T-shirt
  • What not to do with a dead parrot
  • Several Hamlet references
  • Scott Wright (MicroMax)
  • The Cherubim
  • Cloud Nine
  • Agent Peter (Nigel Orpington-Smythe)
  • Warpie naming conventions
  • Beetroot
  • Screen tone
  • An idiom
  • Evasive makeouts
  • A specific thing on The Gifted
  • Why Kitty Pryde tends to go by her given name

NEXT EPISODE: Space Fight!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 203 – The X-Man’s Burden

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Hmm. Well. (Uncanny X-Men #291)
Impressive pajamas! Ever-present shotguns! Sexy (not-quite-) dead girls! Extra-spiky Archangel Wings! Banter! This one’s got it all. (Uncanny X-Men #291)
I know you were in the Void Dimension for a while, Mikhail, but… did you forget how shirts work? (Uncanny X-Men #291)
I don’t know what it is about the astral plane being colored with highlighters that works for me, but man, does it ever. (Uncanny X-Men #291)
I go back and forth on Tom Raney’s art, but he draws a hell of a Callisto. (Uncanny X-Men #291)
This is a cool group shot and all, but PLEASE NOTE THE MORLOCK WHO IS VERY EXCITED TO EAT A ROCK. Or bash his buddy with it, I guess. But I’m pretty sure he’s eating it. (Uncanny X-Men #291)
But… the Morlocks were never trapped! Well, I guess now they’re extra not trapped. (Uncanny X-Men #291)
One of my very favorite 90s covers of all time, only improved by the confusing colorful party lights above the logo. (Uncanny X-Men #292)
In the next panel, Colossus and Bishop passionately kiss. (Uncanny X-Men #292)
I’ll give Mikhail one thing: he’s legitimately scary. (Uncanny X-Men #292)
Warren, you’ve been through a lot, but… you do know that this is the other place you were nailed to a wall in the Morlock tunnels, right? Right? (Uncanny X-Men #292)
Miles had so many nightmares about this guy 26 years ago. (Uncanny X-Men #292)
To be fair, Callisto keeps all of her clothing in pots. Storm, having played Zelda>, does not. (Uncanny X-Men #292)
Sure, Professor Xavier can be a jerk – but every once in a while, we remember why he runs the school. (Uncanny X-Men #292)
We’ve all got that family member. (Uncanny X-Men #293)
The advantage of being drawn in a 90s superhero comic is that you can do this. (Uncanny X-Men #293)
Everything about that last panel is solid gold. (Uncanny X-Men #293)
I know we say that Cannonball is the best kid or that Warlock is the best kid, but Colossus is kind of also the best kid. (Not that his judgment is necessarily all that great…) (Uncanny X-Men #293)
God, right in the heart. (Uncanny X-Men #293)
NEXT TIME: Miles and Hub talk travel back to the Bronze Age!

The rad lawyer we mentioned in the episode is Katie Lane – check out her website for all kinds of good stuff!

203 – The X-Man’s Burden

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the Morlocks used to have more agency, we have a surprising amount to say about the Rat King from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Archangel receives some exceptionally disturbing news, and 90s comics are all about finding the parts you love.

X-PLAINED:

  • Marrow’s internal organs
  • The post-Image Exodus era
  • Judging books by their covers
  • Uncanny X-Men #291-293
  • Sexy dead girls (again)
  • The Morlock leadership vacuum
  • A significant Callisto personality retcon
  • Failures of leadership due to own-death-faking
  • The magical life and magical death of the Morlock Sewer Wizard
  • Science Made Stupid
  • Storm’s claustrophobia (again)
  • MeMe, scourge of Miles’s childhood
  • 90s Jean Grey: cartoon vs comic
  • The Br’er Rabbit Technique
  • Some unfortunate and significant continuity errors
  • Professor Xavier’s impressive upper body strength
  • Mikhail Rasputin’s genuinely terrifying mutant powers
  • Bobby Drake’s potential
  • Morlock organizational techniques
  • Mikhail Rasputin’s very bad plan
  • Jean Grey’s real talk
  • The Home for Infinite Losers
  • Piotr Rasputin, tragedy collector
  • Copyright law and Fair Use
  • Queer headcanon
  • X-beards

NEXT EPISODE: Hub from Titan Up the Defense joins Miles to talk Bronze Age X-weirdness!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 159 – Childhood’s End

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
The face of an almost-ten-year-old Miles with no idea what’s on the horizon.
New Mutants #98
That smirk, though. (New Mutants #98)
The weirdly protracted death of Emmanuel da Costa. (New Mutants #98)
Yeah, there’s no way this dude’s coming back. (New Mutants #98)
Somewhere, Dean Pelton is having feelings. (New Mutants #98)
One of many, many homages to the cover of X-Men #138. (New Mutants #99)
LIEFELD KICK! (New Mutants #99)
“I’ve been busy TRAINING MY HAIR TO SWIRL DRAMATICALLY ON CUE.” (New Mutants #99)
New Mutants: the ballet! (New Mutants #99)
Cable, that’s really not how pants–you know what? Never mind. (New Mutants #99)
This goddamn panel. (New Mutants #99)
Oh, man. Right in the feels. (New Mutants #99)
Just spitballing here, but is it maybe because… it’s the final issue? (New Mutants #99)
The end of an era. (New Mutants #100)
You’re not wrong, Cable. (New Mutants #100)
You know you wanna cosplay it. (New Mutants #100)
Feral’s a fun kid, isn’t she? (New Mutants #100)
On one hand: this is a mess. On the other hand: it’s also pretty awesome. The Liefeld conundrum. (New Mutants #100)
That’s not how swords… I mean… damnit. (New Mutants #100)
CABLE, YOU PUT THOSE EXTRA TEETH RIGHT BACK WHERE YOU FOUND THEM. (New Mutants #100)
Okay, that’s a really fun last page. (New Mutants #100)
Next Episode: Beast has a sexistential crisis!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

159 – Childhood’s End

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***NOTE: We’re aware of the audio issues in this episode. We’re still troubleshooting our cross-country setup. Thank you for your patience!***

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Stryfe is the Jan Brady of the Summers family; Miles’s dreams are trampled beneath tiny, delicate feet; Rictor goes on an unnecessary rescue mission; Cable is Washington to Cannonball’s Hamilton; the New Mutants may or may not time travel; Boom Boom scarfs up some chow for the bohunk; you should definitely not mess with Feral’s pigeons; Liefeld fights are pure rule-of-cool; Jay is absolutely not qualified to give legal advice; and we bid a bittersweet goodbye to New Mutants.

X-PLAINED:

  • Zero
  • Production transitions
  • The end of New Mutants
  • New Mutants #98-100
  • Plotting vs. scripting
  • The most valuable issue of New Mutants
  • Gideon
  • Liefeld butts (more) (again)
  • The very dramatic death of Emmanuel da Costa
  • Tolliver
  • Some Spider-Man looking jerk
  • Domino (Neena Thurman)
  • A specific and likely inaccurate timeline
  • Feral (Maria Callasantos)
  • The signature Liefeld Kick™
  • The Tavern on the Green
  • Five or six kinds of mutants
  • A sad goodbye
  • Shatterstar (Gaveedra Seven)
  • Cadre Alliance
  • Nesting habits of the urban bohunk
  • Some rad moves
  • A prologue that is also an epilogue
  • The Stryfe that might have been
  • How Logan fits into the X-Men movie timeline
  • X-Men mostly likely to watch Yuri!!! On Ice
  • Jay at FlameCon!!

NEXT EPISODE: Beast has a sexistential crisis!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 142 – The Monster at the End of This Comic

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Art by David Wynne. Buy prints at Redbubble, or contact David to purchase the original!
Apocalypse using his powers: never not funny.(X-Factor #51)
Ship, no. (X-Factor #51)
Meet Opal Tanaka, your new favorite X-Factor supporting character! (X-Factor #51)
HE’S SO FULL OF FEELINGS, YOU GUYS (X-Factor #51)
I know it’s not supposed to be funny, but it really is. (X-Factor #52)
We’ve all basically been on this date, right? (X-Factor #52)
Terry Shoemaker’s Bobby Drake is delightful. (X-Factor #52)
Hiiiiii, The Locust. (X-Factor #52)
And again: Clearly not supposed to be comical, and yet… (X-Factor #52)
Aw, these two. (X-Factor #53)
Well, that’s awkward. (X-Factor #53)
Jean Grey: striding into the future with two middle fingers raised to fate. (X-Factor #53)
And now for something completely different! (X-Factor #55)
Perfect moment is perfect. (X-Factor #55)
Wellp. (X-Factor #55)
He’ll turn out to have been an Infectia monster and therefore doomed anyway, but that doesn’t really change the fact that Beast just kicked a dude in front of a train. (X-Factor #55)
NEXT EPISODE: Happy birthday, Kitty! HAVE SOME MORE SUBTEXT!

FURTHER LISTENING:

  • For more on Scott and Jean’s Central Park conversation (and an especially ironic listen this week), check out Episode 22 – Through Death and Through Life!

142 – The Monster at the End of This Comic

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Art by David Wynne. Buy prints at Redbubble, or contact David to purchase the original!

In which Jay and Miles make a personal announcement; moles (probably) don’t lay eggs; Angel is full of angst and flechettes; there’s always room for cello; and no matter how complicated our personal lives get, X-Factor’s will always be worse!

X-PLAINED:

  • The Tanaka family business
  • Jay & Miles vs. time travel
  • Some personal stuff that’s going on
  • Our definitive Iceman artist
  • A whole lot of child endangerment
  • Two reasons not to eat cereal from the 1980s
  • X-Factor #51-53 and 55
  • Cable’s first word
  • Slightly dubious zoning
  • Charlotte Jones
  • Opal Tanaka
  • Mole
  • Chicken Wings
  • Grover, but not that Grover
  • B-grade Sabretooth
  • A double date
  • Giant bugs
  • The Locust (August Hopper)
  • A walk in the park
  • A failed proposal
  • What we talk about when we talk about retcons

NEXT EPISODE: Happy Birthday, Shadowcat!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 138 – What Would Dazzler Do?

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original.
Naked Man, you are the man! (Uncanny X-Men #259)
Freddie Stanacheck is back! From a background character to the real deal – just like Boba Feet! EXACTLY LIKE BOBA FETT. (Uncanny X-Men #259)
Starring Jack Nance as Strong Guy and Sheryl Lee as Dazzler. (Uncanny X-Men #259)
I love you, gruff-but-kindhearted-Eastern-European-guy! (Uncanny X-Men #259)
Chris Claremont, please narrate my life. (Uncanny X-Men #259)
SO MUCH COCAINE! (Uncanny X-Men #260)
This issue of Uncanny X-Men has been brought to you by Body Glove. Anywave, Anywhere! (Uncanny X-Men #260)
That’s some dedication to theme right there. Are these guys from The Warriors? (Uncanny X-Men #260)
From stalking and attempted murder to slapstick comedy: Eric Beale, ladies and gents! (Uncanny X-Men #260)
Andrea and Andreas von Strucker: the best at being the worst. (Uncanny X-Men #260)
A real American herooooooooo (Uncanny X-Men #261)
Marc Silvestri, please draw everyone’s face forever. (Uncanny X-Men #261)
I mean, geez! No eye protection in the lab? (Uncanny X-Men #261)
Hey, this wasn’t in my horoscope for today! (Uncanny X-Men #261)
Jubilation Lee: forever the best for always. (Uncanny X-Men #261)
Jean speaks for us all. Better get used to these costumes – they’ll be around for a while. (Uncanny X-Men #262)
Genosha gets scarier every time it shows up – and we ain’t seen nothin’ yet. (Uncanny X-Men #262)
Baby Forge hasn’t even started thinking about Dire Wraiths or Adversaries or mustaches. (Uncanny X-Men #262)
HEY THIS WASN’T IN MY HOROSCOPE FOR TODAY (Uncanny X-Men #262)
It’s the cowboy boots that really pull the look together. (Uncanny X-Men #262)
LEELOO DALLAS MULTITASK (Uncanny X-Men #263)
Hey, Masque got a makeover! I kind of dig it. (Uncanny X-Men #263)
“So, the, uh, conference room was taken, I guess..?” (Uncanny X-Men #263)
It’s like the cover to X-Men vol. 2 #1 except BETTER IN EVERY WAY (Uncanny X-Men #263)
I mean, I wasn’t expecting Forge making peace with his past to involve so many tentacle arms, but I’ll take it. (Uncanny X-Men #263)
Next time: the Starjammers!

As Mentioned in Episode 131 – The Reaver Bunch

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
That cloak! Those Kent Williams inks! (Uncanny X-Men #252)
These are not the foundations of a healthy relationship. (Uncanny X-Men #252)
Ah, yes, the old-fashioned way. With robot dingos. (Uncanny X-Men #252)
Man, Lady Deathstrike is so cool. (Uncanny X-Men #253)
Emergency medicine must be a pretty different field in the Marvel Universe. (Uncanny X-Men #253)
Really? REALLY? (Uncanny X-Men #253)
Never change, Callisto. (Uncanny X-Men #253)
“Wait, what’s this over here? A stack of books. They all say… Complete Handbook of the Marvel Universe?” (Uncanny X-Men #253)
Hope you survive the experience! (Uncanny X-Men #254)
MOIRA THAT IS NOT SAFE LAB WEAR (Uncanny X-Men #254)
Remember that time the Morlocks brought Professor Xavier back from the dead and then dressed him in bondage gear? Good times. (Uncanny X-Men #254)
Well, THAT’S ominous. (Uncanny X-Men #254)
Relationship goals. (Uncanny X-Men #254)
There’s such a thing as trying too hard. (Uncanny X-Men #254)
LOOK AT HIM MUGGING GOOFILY AT THE SECURITY CAMERA (Uncanny X-Men #255)
Aw, man. (Uncanny X-Men #255)
Aw, man. (Uncanny X-Men #255)
NEXT WEEK: Back to Asgard!