Morlocks – Page 2 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

319 – Giant-Size Special #9 (feat. Vita Ayala, Tini Howard, and Leah Williams)

January 3, 2021 Jay 11 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Jay and Miles receive a mysterious missive and are visited by three of our favorite X-writers; Further Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix is a pleasant surprise; Nathaniel Essex is the most dramatic man in the Marvel Universe; the sewers of Victorian London were a happenin’ place; Apocalypse isn’t even French; Beast is the flip-side of Sinister; community is for everyone; the Internet is (kind of) Krakoa; and death is fixable, but trauma might take a little more work.

X-PLAINED:

A quotation
Further Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1-4
A closed loop
Time travel with Scott Summers and Jean Grey
Mister Sinister (Nathaniel Essex)
A somewhat excessive visual aid
Beards
Cootie Tremble
The cultural context of sideshows
The first Marauders and/or Nasty Boys
Victorian Apocalypse
Strained allegories
Sanctity
Apocalypse vs. the Hellfire Club
Oscar the Somewhat Less Nasty Boy
Varyingly anachronistic costuming
The secret origin of ruby quartz
A very vague objective
A makeover
A closed time loop
Actual Cat Wizard Jonathan Hickman
Something Jay is not in fact going to pitch to Marvel
Creative dynamics and processes in the current X-line
Revolutionary joy
What’s cooler than one sword
The Sixth Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence

NEXT WEEK: Jay & Miles take a break

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur gets several Peters and a wolf!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 313 – Iguanafall

November 8, 2020 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Not even close, but go on. (Storm #1)

Spoiler: no. (Storm #1)

That is some weird-ass product placement. (Storm #1)

This is the worst panel. I hate it and everything it stands for. (Storm #1)

SERIOUSLY LOOK AT THOSE TEETH THIS IS NOT OKAY (Storm #1)

You’d think that context might salvage it. You would be wrong. (Storm #1)

The best character in this miniseries. (Storm #2)

Coooool. (Storm #2)

Misdirection or mistake? YOU BE THE JUDGE! (Storm #1)

I guess this counts as a malicious pose, but I feel like its main victims are her spine and ribcage. (Storm #2)

Hi, Callisto! Bye, Callisto! (Storm #2)

I refuse to accept this as “Daddy.” (Storm #2)

ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew (Storm #3)

Yeah, I don’t quite get it, either. (Storm #3)

“And I TRIPLE-DARE YOU!” (Storm #4)

Somewhere in the multiverse, there’s a timeline where Aidan Quinn was cast as Cable, and I want to go there. (Storm #4)

THIS IS NOT A GOOD WAY TO DISPOSE OF A BOMB WHOSE CONTENTS YOU DO NOT KNOW. (Storm #4)

Damn, Storm. Harsh. (Storm #4)

SURE WHY NOT LET’S JUST GO WITH THAT (Storm #4)

Really? You’re going to end your miniseries HERE? (Storm #4)

NEXT EPISODE: Jay has a lot of feelings about this issue of X-Factor

LINKS & FURTHER REPTILES:

This dress was weirdly central to the Internet Discourse of 2015.
We covered Lifedeath II in Episode 45 – A Woman Who Could Fly.
Here’s where you can find some of the more obscure stories we’ve X-Plained:

313 – Iguanafall

November 8, 2020 Jay 12 comments

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In which sky pirates are the best pirates; Wolverine eats chicken in the woods; Xavier’s area loses its status as our least favorite panel; Cable is suspiciously credulous; we search in vain for a consistent metaphor; Storm has a thing or two to learn about restorative justice; and this entire miniseries should probably just have been an annual.

X-PLAINED:

Storm’s pirate adventures
Storm #1-4
Mark Trail
The Morlocks (more) (again)
Unacceptable gradients
Butt murder
Fashion
Several memes of yesteryear
Product placement
The new Worst Panel
Several variations on the Ceremony of Light
How not to identify a body
The Hill (Limbo)
“Daddy”
The inconsistent portrayals of Mikhail Rasputin
Still more members of Gene Nation
A new costume
The most obscure stories we’ve covered
That time Wolverine at his own arm

NEXT EPISODE: Jay’s favorite issue of X-Factor (and some others)!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 311 – Love Makes a Super Team

October 25, 2020 Jay 2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

This friendship really never gets old. (X-Men Annual 1995)

Freakin’ Genesis, man. (X-Men Annual 1995)

The Nasty Boys, they are not. (X-Men Annual 1995)

Nathaniel Essex: The Hollywood Dracula Years. (X-Men Annual 1995)

The ladies love the cape. (X-Men Annual 1995)

In all fairness, I’m not sure I’d want to be naked in Teen Hank and Bobby’s makeouts cabin without cleaning first, either. (X-Men Annual 1995)

Meanwhile in the UK, a dramatic man and his dramatic ponytail! (X-Men Annual 1995)

I still think the photos were a bit much. (X-Men Annual 1995)

Anniversary or no, this image does not justify a double gatefold. (Uncanny X-Men #325)

Jean Grey: thirsty on main. (Uncanny X-Men #325)

Me, too, Monet. Me, too/ (Uncanny X-Men #325)

Damn, Piotr. (Uncanny X-Men #325)

“Non, mon ami, I do not have Prince Albert in a can.” (Uncanny X-Men #325)

Marrow may be bloodthirsty, but she’s also inclusive! (Uncanny X-Men #325)

What. (Uncanny X-Men #325)

Ew. (Uncanny X-Men #325)

This is why we can’t have nice things and/or organs. (Uncanny X-Men #325)

NEXT EPISODE: The Nobody People, with author Bob Proehl!

311 – Love Makes a Super-Team

October 18, 2020 Jay 16 comments

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In which we decide to stop recognizing the nominal difference between X-Men and Uncanny X-Men; time travel may or may not wait for you; Mister Sinister has probably appeared in at least one Ed Wood film; we are a pro-Tingle podcast; X-Men is about family; the Braddock twins catch up; Sailor Moon > Shinobi Shaw; Generation X is inducted into the baseball tradition; and Storm does what she does with Morlocks in sewers.

X-PLAINED:

Franklin Richards’ impressive lineage
311
Yet another structure for annuals
X-Men Annual 1995
Uncanny X-Men #325
Serious academic discussions
Faye Livingstone
Mister Sinister’s Hollywood adventures
Tyler Dayspring / Tolliver / Genesis (again)
Teenage optimism
An absolutely nonsensical villainous plot
A Hank McCoy that might have been
Friendship
Fraternal correspondence
Romance
Morlocks
The first time Storm stabbed a Morlock leader in the heart
Gene Nation
A really excessive cover
An intergenerational baseball game
Another fairly nonsensical villainous plot
The second time Storm stabbed a Morlock leader in the heart
X-horror
Other media X-fans may enjoy reading, playing, or watching

NEXT EPISODE: Bob Proehl X-Plains the Resonant Duology!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 307 – Ugly Mootants Only

September 13, 2020 Jay 6 comments

Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

It’s okay. They’re just gonna end up in another dimension. Kind of. I guess. (Cable #15)

If Thornn had managed to catch her, would she have joined up with Artie and Leech to become an unstoppable triumvirate of moppets? The world may never know. (Cable #15)

NOW KISS (Cable #15)

The Ceremony of Light. (Cable #15)

In six years, Paige is definitely going to be the drunk girl standing outside the women’s bathroom and very sincerely telling everyone who goes in or comes out how beautiful they are. (Generation X #5)

Just don’t try any allogrooming and you’ll be okay. (Generation X #5)

I LOVE THIS TURTLE. (Generation X #5)

Not Davis, and that’s okay. (Generation X #5)

There is… a lot going on here. (Generation X #6)

You may have a lot of monitors, Dark Beast, but you’ll never top Cameron Hodge as Quintessential Villain with a Roomful of Monitors. (Generation X #6)

Bachalo draws such good Wolverine! (Generation X #6)

Next Episode: holy shit jay wrote an x-men comic

LINKS & FURTHER SHAMELESS PROMOTION:

You can find relevant info about X-Men: Marvels Snapshots #1 over here…
…and find a comics shop from which to purchase it here…
…or just go straight to our favorite, Books With Pictures!

307 – Ugly Mootants Only

September 13, 2020 Jay 21 comments

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In which Cable has clearly inherited his father’s inability to go on a date that doesn’t end disastrously; Husk is a lightweight; we are very taken with a turtle; you really don’t want to run into the other Hemingway in an elevator, either; Jubilee can speak in logos; and Wolverine gives some fatherly advice.

X-PLAINED:

One way to get your powers back
Cable #15
Generation X #5-6
X-Men: Marvels Snapshots #1 (Coming September 16)
Cable, in general
A date
“Sheer” fabrics
What we’d bring to desert islands
Sarah (Marrow)
The Ceremony of Light
Several generations of mutant teenagers
Generation X and its members (more) (again)
Chamber’s socks
Gateway’s taste in television
Husk’s extremely low alcohol tolerance
Some cool lettering
Banshee is to Chris Bachalo as Nightcrawler is to Alan Davis
Fridge wolves
NYC celebrity encounters
The ongoing legacy of X-kids with gross powers
Teenagers
Hemingway, but not that Hemingway
The return of Artie and Leech
Bones
How we would incorporate the X-Men into the MCU

NEXT EPISODE: Snapshots!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 301 – Can’t Beat the Real Thing

July 19, 2020 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

This is in fact an ENTIRELY REASONABLE position under the circumstances. (X-Men Prime #1)

Dennis is his own disparaging narrator. (X-Men Prime #1)

I don’t know why John Constantine is here to question Trish Tilby’s ethics, but SOMEONE needs to. (X-Men Prime #1)

Why is Val here? WHO KNOWS? (X-Men Prime #1)

Pretty sure this is supposed to be Onslaught, but it’s not going to be confirmed, so… (X-Men Prime #1)

“I repurposed all the brain parts that would normally go to fashion sense. On one hand, I can keep track of every team in play. On the other hand, this is how I dress myself.” (X-Men Prime #1)

Mondays, amirite? (X-Men Prime #1)

That’s… exactly what a chaperone is, though. (X-Men Prime #1)

GUYS SOMETIMES PEOPLE ARE JUST IN A HURRY (X-Men Prime #1)

Just wait ’til Age of X-Man. (X-Men Prime #1)

Emplate: still exceptionally creepy. (X-Men Prime #1)

nopenopenopenopenope (X-Men Prime #1)

I’ve seen at least three horror movies that basically start this way. (X-Men Prime #1)

NEXT EPISODE: The fall of Avalon, and some related situation comedy.

LINKS & FURTHER HOMECOMINGS:

301 – Can’t Beat the Real Thing

July 19, 2020 Jay 19 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which we enter our fourth century of podcasting with brand new theme music; we have both Wolverine questions and wolverine questions; it is extremely rough to be Bishop; the creator of Garfield may or may not live in a sewer on Earth-616; Rogue needs better coping mechanisms; bigotry is depressingly timeless; and everything is Onslaught now.

X-PLAINED:

Joseph’s Brotherhood of Evil Mutants
Our new theme music
X-Men Prime #1
A genuinely cool cover gimmick
What happened after the end of the world
Boundaries
War crimes vs. fashion crimes
Destruction of real landmarks in fiction
A mysterious assailant
Actual embodied chaos god Jim Davis and his Earth-616 namesake
Several memorable Garfield stories
Marrow (Sarah Rushman)
The secret origin of the Morlocks
A friendship we miss
Unhealthy coping mechanisms
The perennially dubious journalistic ethics of Trish Tilby
Dennis
The death of Dennis
Flaws of the mutant metaphor (more) (again)
Several refugees from Earth-295
Mr. Summers and Mr. Summers
The secret origin of the Genoshan mutates
The Acolytes
The continuing relevance of the mutant metaphor (more) (again)
Cross-universe characterization

NEXT EPISODE: The fall of Avalon!

NOTE: The Garfield strips Jay mentions appeared in newspapers, on purpose, in October 1989.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!