Raven Darkholme – Page 2 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

381 – If We Told You, We’d Have to Kill You

August 7, 2022 Jay 6 comments

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which real life sucks; Havok may or may not be a bad enough dude to rescue mutantkind; X-Factor quits; CD-ROMs were never THAT cool; subtlety is for suckers; Val Cooper hates nothing more than she hates the U.S. government; and Jamie Madrox wants nothing to do with your nonsense.

X-PLAINED:

One way to end a wedding
X-Factor #130-133
Malice (again)
A thumb (and the biting thereof)
Barnes (and her hair)
The relative versatility of plasma
The Brotherhood
A ruse and/or retcon
Lighting design
A CD-ROM
The time Jay wrote some Captain America comics
The last time you’re gonna see these
Trevor Chase (more)
One thing that might’ve inspired Jamie Madrox’s heel turn
The nature of Jamie Madrox’s relative mortality
Brand names
Many faked deaths
Agent Bowser
A very fancy haunted house
X-Factor’s true calling
The X.S.E. (again)
Mutant shifts in adaptations
‘Nuff said

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur vs. Crimson Dawn!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

As Mentioned in Episode 373 – Tainted Loins

May 22, 2022 Miles 7 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Looks like your dad’s pain is a little worse than yours, Bobby. (Uncanny X-Men #340)

Now that is 1996 Sam Guthrie. Finally. (Uncanny X-Men #340)

Graydon Creed according to Joe Madureira… and Victor Creed as a glass of whiskey. (Uncanny X-Men #340)

If the command van’s a-knockin’… (Uncanny X-Men #340)

Joe Madureira’s mostly known for his action scenes, but he’s pretty great with quiet conversations too. (Uncanny X-Men #340)

Your government dresses you funny, Madrox. (X-Factor #128)

That’s so Raven. (X-Factor #128)

Graydon Creed according to Jeff Matsuda… and Harper, who is well aware of the need for discretion. (X-Factor #128)

Mystique transforms, version 1. (X-Factor #128)

Sabretooth and less-interesting-Sabretooth. (X-Factor #128)

Val Cooper just got back from the most dangerous sleepover ever. (X-Factor #129)

I love it when powers cross panel borders. (X-Factor #129)

Mystique transforms, version 2. (X-Factor #129)

Having grown up in the 90s, I can assure you this is quite an accomplishment. (X-Factor #129)

Well I’m impressed. (X-Factor #129)

Ah, that explains it. (X-Factor #129)

Scrawling SOON across your son’s campaign poster is the first step in saving his life. (X-Factor #129)

Blowing a hole in your son’s campaign poster is the second step in saving his life. (X-Factor #130)

Blowing additional holes in your son’s campaign poster is the third step in saving his life. (X-Factor #130)

Mystique transforms, version 3. (X-Factor #130)

Graydon Creed according to Eric Battle… and Val Cooper has changed out of her sleepwear. (X-Factor #130)

I’m just writing a visual companion, and I kinda want to yell “GUARDS”. (X-Factor #130)

This should’ve been two-thirds of the issue instead of two pages. (X-Factor #130)

Snazzy! (X-Factor #130)

Raven, just interrupt! You’re allowed! (X-Factor #130)

And with that..! (X-Factor #130)

NEXT EPISODE: Hawk Talk! IN TWO WEEKS: Frank Punisher meets Carl the X-Cutioner.

373 – Tainted Loins

May 22, 2022 Miles 7 comments

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In which the Drake Roberts identity is retired; Gambit bonds with William Drake; Graydon Creed is evil but nondescript; tales of Pyro’s death have been somewhat exaggerated; and some mysteries resolve better than others.

X-PLAINED:

Damian Tryp
X-Factor (more) (again)
Uncanny X-Men #340
X-Factor #128-30
More Drake family dynamics
The Sword of Shannara
The general vagueness of Graydon Creed
Several ninjas
Hound stuff
Val Cooper’s pajamas
An unexpected return
Shapeshifting
Overextended plotlines
Some unusually threatening dad jokes
The anticlimactic death of Graydon Creed
Some time travel bullshit
Which series are ending and which are relaunching between Reign of X and Destiny of X
How and when Colossus stopped being the Juggernaut

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: The Adventures of Carl & Frank

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 369 – Carly Askani

April 17, 2022 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

“This ought to give you” *POW* “a new perspective” *BIFF* “on things, Alex!” (Uncanny X-Men #339)

Head trauma for Lucas BIshop! (Uncanny X-Men #339)

I mean, she’s not wrong. (Uncanny X-Men #339)

“You think I just fell off the turnip truck, McCoy? No one pulls a fast one on J. Jonah Jameson!” (Uncanny X-Men #339)

“I’m Ororo Munroe, and I’m here to x-plain the X-Men… because it’s about time someone did.” (Uncanny X-Men #339)

Never trust a Summers when he tells you he’s fine. (Uncanny X-Men #339)

Well, if they can print it, I guess we can post it. (X-Men #59)

Head trauma for Lucas Bishop! Again! (X-Men #59)

Hell of a Wolverine you’ve got there, Mr. Kubert. (X-Men #59)

JOSEPH I AM CALLING THE POLICE (X-Men #59)

Not quite as good as the Rogue/Gambit kiss from #41, but still… whoa. (X-Men #59)

I’M HUGE (X-Men #59)

“For instance, I can see through this utterly massive chin.” (Wolverine Annual 1996)

Josef Stalin..? (Wolverine Annual 1996)

Up… (Wolverine Annual 1996)

…and up… (Wolverine Annual 1996)

…and up. (Wolverine Annual 1996)

“General Grievious, sir, it’s the Jedi!” (Wolverine Annual 1996)

You know, I think this might be Sunfire’s best non-Age of Apocalypse look! (Wolverine Annual 1996)

*Pacific Rim music plays* (and now it’s in your head too) (Wolverine Annual 1996)

Logan, that… that was there before. Maybe you need to adjust your bandana. (Wolverine Annual 1996)

NEXT TIME: The Silver Age with Max Carleton!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING

369 – Carly Askani

April 17, 2022 Miles 23 comments

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In which Storm & Joseph X-Plain the X-Men, Alex Summers is not brainwashed this time, he promises, Scott Lobdell writes better moments than stories, Ed McGuinness draws very large chins, and it’s Denver the Last Dinosaur, not Denver the Lost Dinosaur

X-PLAINED:

Uncanny X-Men #339
Spider-Man disambiguation
A. Kubert disambiguation
J. Jonah Jameson (again) (hooray!)
Sneaking songs
The history of smoking regulation on airlines
Creed disambiguation
Havok’s Brotherhood of Evil Mutants
Bonding while falling out of planes
X-Men #59
The copyright status of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
Well-drawn Wolverines
Hercules vs The Tick
Wolverine Annual 1996
The tragic death of Mariko Yashida
Silver Samurai (Kuniuchio Harada)
Sunfire (Shiro Yoshida) and what he’s been up to since Fatal Attractions
Josef Stalin, apparently?
Red Ronin and its nemesis, a time-lost dinosaur who we assure you is not Godzilla
Jedi and/or samurai vs. doors
Our logo fonts
James Howlett, guidance counselor
Onslaught but not evil
Whether Magneto could wield Mjolnir

NEXT EPISODE: The Silver Age with Max Carleton!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 362 – Lazy Summer Day

February 13, 2022 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

The turtle! (Generation X #20)

These cuties. (Generation X #20)

That’s… not how salads are supposed to work. (Generation X #20)

Behold: Banshee’s enormous arms. (Generation X #20)

Aw, this kid. (Generation X #20)

Aw, THESE kids. (Generation X #20)

Jubilee, no. (Generation X #21)

If I ever die, I hope Chris Bachalo draws a bunch of unsavory bikers in my memory. (Generation X #21)

Torres. (Generation X #21)

Seriously, how did she make that whole mansion out of a fairly brief exam paper? (Generation X #21)

Trevor Chase and his assailants. (X-Factor #127)

Maybe it’s a Ron Swanson thing and she gets his name wrong on purpose to keep him from getting too attached. (X-Factor #127)

Is it… a wabbit? (X-Factor #127)

NEXT EPISODE: Baseball!

LINKS & FURTHER MISCREANTS

Waiting for the Trade re: the Danger Room and what’s been done there.
For more about Tana Nile, Howard the Duck, and Franklin Richards, check out Giant-Size Special #10!
X-Factor, summarized.

362 – Lazy Summer Day

February 13, 2022 Jay 4 comments

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In which Chris Bachalo draws excellent critters; Bastion is a terrible boss; everyone fucks in the Danger Room; Jubilee fails a midterm; and humans were the real monsters all along.

X-PLAINED:

The worst mutant power
Generation X #20-21
X-Factor #127
Bachalo critters
Bastion (more) (again)
Daria (but not the one you’re thinking of)
Chevy the janitor (again)
Mean Cuisine
Harker the cat
A threatening salad
Yet another time-traveling Nate
Flirting
A movie reference
U.S.1 and Baron von Blimp
Several ways to fail a midterm
“Autism”
Miguela Torres
Trevor Chase
A series of interviews
Richard Starkings and Comicraft
Destiny’s absence from film

NEXT EPISODE: Baseball!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 338 – Chomp & Stomp

July 11, 2021 Jay 2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

And THAT’S how you get around a collar with a five-second shapeshift limit. (X-Factor #122)

The Hound, in all his dubious glory. (X-Factor #123)

Shard’s expression in the last panel is so delightful. (X-Factor #123)

Don’t mess with Polaris. (X-Factor #123)

“You can try back later, but it’ll just be cows.” (X-Factor #123)

The Uh-Oh Room. (X-Factor #124)

“This isn’t… awkward or anything, right?” (X-Factor #124)

NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine makes it weird.

338 – Chomp and Stomp

July 4, 2021 Jay 15 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

In which X-Factor’s lineup shifts further towards villainy; Wild Child is neither wild nor a child; bureaucrat Val Cooper > action Val Cooper; Marvel invests in Bastion; and foreshadowing works better in some titles than in others.

X-PLAINED:

How Wolverine got his adamantium back
A marriage of convenience
X-Factor #122-124
Amalgam comics
A clever workaround
Several new looks
Belle Fourche (again)
Several ways to fail to control supervillains
The Hound
The Hazard Chamber
Different titles’ relationships to dark futures
Statting up Beast in D&D
Characters with more narrative impact dead than alive

NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine makes it weird.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!