Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

191 – Unconscionably Sexy (feat. Kelly Thompson)

In which writer Kelly Thompson joins us to talk Rogue and Gambit; Antarctica is Earth’s answer to the Blue Area of the Moon; Kelly unfreezes one of the great X-romances; Rogue has walked a mile in everyone’s shoes; you should probably not take romantic cues from fictional characters; Gambit should always wear hot pink; and continuity is fundamentally messy.

X-PLAINED:

  • What happened in Antarctica
  • The Trial of Gambit
  • Rogue and Gambit
  • Narrative tension vs. growth
  • Dueling accents
  • Kelly’s defining Rogue and Gambit stories
  • The cool-versus-creepy line
  • Making deep cuts accessible
  • The evolution of Rogue
  • The future of the X-line
  • Favorite costumes
  • Equal-opportunity objectification
  • Fundamental contradictions of continuity
  • Hawkeye team-ups
  • Date night with Rogue and Gambit
  • MTV’s Are You the One
  • RomCom hybrids

NEXT EPISODE: Meet the N-Men!


Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 183 – Mutant Death Factor

Listen to the podcast here.



LINKS & FURTHER READING

  • COME SEE US AT EMERALD CITY COMIC CON! We’ll be at T-11 in Artist Alley all weekend; check back here for panel and party details!
  • I’m fairly sure I’ve linked to “Class of ’64” before, but it’s one of the best-developed reimaginings of the X-Men I’ve found, in or out of canon.
  • Unfortunately, R. Orion Martin’s “X-Men of Color” series no longer appears to be online, but you can learn more about it here and here. (Also worth reading: Darryl Ayo’s rebuttal to Martin’s article.)

183 – Mutant Death Factor

David is on vacation this week! We hope you enjoy this substitute illustration of two gentlemen enjoying each other’s company.

In which Miles is almost caught up on The Gifted (but still hasn’t seen The Prisoner and should be very ashamed of himself); Omega Red is a cool action figure but a boring character; Professor Xavier definitely knows what you did last night; Fenris remains delightfully trashy; Weapon X had an improbably high survival rate; Sabretooth cleans up pretty well; we need to work some new rules for dividing up character voices; the Mojoverse has terrible employee benefits; and mongoose blood will definitely not give you superpowers.

X-PLAINED:

  • Refugees from the Age of Apocalypse
  • Creative use of teleportation
  • X-Modifiers
  • Jay & Miles at Emerald City Comic Con
  • X-Men vol. 2 #4-7
  • The sitcom model of creative logistics
  • One way to bring someone back to life
  • Mutant Death Factor
  • Omega Red (Arkady Gregorivich)
  • Wolverine’s school pictures
  • Gambit’s ponytail and the logistics thereof
  • Sex at the X-Mansion
  • Fenris fashion
  • Ritualistic facepalming
  • Moira MacTaggert’s nightmares
  • Formalwear and motorcycle safety
  • An elegantly choreographed cockblock
  • Retracting tentacle logistics
  • Carbonadium synthesizers
  • Dr. Pepper Twizzlers
  • Ponytails as moral compasses
  • Sabretooth’s excellent taste in formalwear
  • Ornithology
  • Those big, weird tube handcuff things
  • Cyclops and Wolverine’s eventual friendship
  • The return of Longshot
  • What would happen if you gave a human a transfusion of mongoose blood
  • Some X-Cellent fanfiction
  • X-details we’d change

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor Meets the Hulk!


Special thanks to consulting X-Pert and Actual Scientist Dr. Lauriel Earley!


Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 178 – Giant-Size Special #6

Listen to the podcast here.



OUR PRODUCER MATT HUNTER IS A SUPER RAD DUDE! HERE IS WHERE YOU CAN FIND HIM ON THE INTERNET:



THE 2017 SUPER DOCTOR ASTRONAUT PETER CORBEAU AWARDS FOR EXCELLENCE AT X-CELLENCE:

  • Best Writer: Charles Soule, for Astonishing X-Men
  • Best Artist: Alessandro Vitti, for Iceman
  • Best Colorist: Felipe Sobreiro, for Generation X
  • Best Ongoing Solo Series: Iceman
  • Best Ongoing Team Series: Generation X
  • Irene Adler Memorial Award for Most Anticipated Upcoming Series: Storm, by Ta Nehisi Coates and Jen Bartel
  • How-Was-This-So-Good? Award for a Premise That Shouldn’t Have Worked But Did: “Weapons of Mutant Destruction” by Greg Pak
  • Cyclops Has A Good Day: Champions #12, for good friends being good friends.
  • So That Happened: Last page of Jean Grey #10
  • Nate Grey Award for Best Cross-Dimensional Import: Bloodstorm in X-Men: Blue
  • Coming Back Strong: Hope Summers in Jean Grey
  • Norman Osborne Award for Gratuitous Resurrection: Logan
  • Light of Our Life: Honey Badger
  • These Deep Cuts Form a Picture: Gifted
  • Best Non-X Marvel Title: Runaways by Rainbow Rowell and Kris Anka

Classic Corbeaus

  • Buried Treasure: “Weapon X,” as published in Marvel Comics Presents
  • You Tried: Chris Claremont, circa 1991
  • Why Havok Didn’t Finish His Dissertation This Year: He was busy being Magistrate on Genosha
  • Object Permanence Is Overrated Award for Inconsistent Corporeality: Amanda Sefton
  • Murder Rainbow Award for Most Entertainingly and Chromatically Redesigned Costumes: Late-run New Mutants
  • Lurking in the Wings Award: Guido Carosella
  • Sauron’s Jorts Award for Draculas Who Are Not Draculas but Try Real Hard: Crimson and the Blackbirds
  • Let Us Never Speak of This Again: Charles Xavier’s swimsuit area as distressingly rendered by Whilce Portacio
  • Major Christopher Summers Award for Most Awkward Family Reunion: Rachel Summers and Jean Grey in “Days of Future Present”
  • Kitty Pryde Sartorial Exception of Excellence: The Rocketeer ensemble from X-Men: True Friends
  • On-the-Nose Award for Effective Use of Heavy-Handed Metaphor: Genosha
  • Best Jacket Ever Award: Cyclops in X-Factor Forever
  • Erik the Red Award for Justifying the Existence of This Podcast: Jen Askani
  • Future Past Award for Most Anticipated Upcoming Series Coverage: X-Factor

AND FINALLY:

  • Best Listeners of Any Podcast, Ever: YOU. Extra hard, this year.

178 – Giant-Size Special #6

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we enter a new era of X-Men; Magneto reluctantly returns to villainy; Jay tries to like X-Men volume 2; when in doubt, you should open your story with a space fight; Nick Fury has so many pouches; experimenting on babies unsurprisingly backfires; psychic powers are pink; Claremont deserved better; Producer Matt makes his on-air debut; and you (yes, you!) are once again the recipients of a Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Award for Excellence in X-Cellence.

X-PLAINED:

  • Loa
  • The 1991 relaunch of X-Men
  • X-Men vol. 2 #1-3
  • Chris Claremont’s departure from Marvel
  • X-Men vs. Uncanny X-Men
  • Blue Team
  • Gold Team
  • Why Magneto is emblematic of Claremont’s vision for the X-Men
  • Why there are so many copies of X-Men #1
  • How comics sales are counted
  • Our very different perspectives on X-Men #1
  • A space fight
  • Revision vs. reversion
  • What may or may not be in Nick Fury’s pouches
  • Daring loungewear worn well
  • Fabian Cortez
  • Flatscans
  • Disproportionate escalation
  • The Acolytes
  • Delgado, kind of, maybe
  • Several notable absences
  • The Magneto Protocols
  • That one time Magneto got turned into a baby
  • Some dubious science
  • A semi-invisible plane
  • Code Silver
  • Further miracles of magnetism
  • Producer Matt Hunter
  • Chiptunes
  • Podcasting about video games
  • The Fourth Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence
  • Best X-Toon holiday episodes

NEXT EPISODE: Havok gets a job!


Special thanks to Cordelia for her help on the episode opening!


Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 177 – The Less You Know

Listen to the podcast here.



FURTHER READING:

  • We don’t know for sure that The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas was heavily influenced by Peter Shaffer’s Equus; but we also don’t know that it wasn’t.

177 – The Less You Know

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we discuss several Very Special Issues; the real cautionary tale is not to trust Hank McCoy; horses are vehicles of lies and heartbreak; the X-Men shill for a state fair; whatever you’re doing, Cyclops is here to stop you; smoking is a gateway to some really weird vices; and we want YOU to design the latest X-Men PSA!

X-PLAINED:

  • The alternate-timeline terrible choices of Hank McCoy
  • Our wholly unfounded theories about Spongebob Squarepants
  • Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men
  • VHS tapes
  • Blockbuster KidPrint
  • Mariano Nicieza
  • Some Fundamental Problems With Superhero PSAs
  • A man who may or may not be D-Man
  • Terrence
  • Why Cable should deliver more PSAs
  • Why D.A.R.E. doesn’t work
  • Varying coherent cautionary tales
  • The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas
  • A tragic lack of carnies
  • Danny the centaur and his very intense feelings about horses
  • Several exciting attractions at the State Fair of Texas
  • Big Tex
  • Activities
  • Smokescreen
  • Bret Jackson
  • Some of the lesser-known danger of smoking
  • Whether Danny Rand can turn into a centaur
  • Hanging out and other gateways to delinquency
  • The South Side Social Club
  • Jake
  • Etiquette of following teenagers around
  • A villainous plan so ineffective that it’s actually kind of sad
  • X-Men you should hire for your PSAs
  • Our thoughts on the Disney/Fox merger
  • Where to find Bloodstorm
  • Baby Jumping

NEXT EPISODE: Giant-Size Winter Special!


LISTENER CHALLENGE: Send your X-Men PSAs to [email protected] with the subject PSA by December 27!


You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

173 – The Muir Island Saga, Part 2

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Abs-lantis will not be denied; “slightly traumatized” is basically the default state of Xavier’s original students; we pick up the slack for Nicieza; Banshee and Moira MacTaggert probably have an active and varied love life; Xavier miscounts the X-Men; we look back over the Claremont/Simonson era of the X-Universe; and Jay makes a case for the re-resurrection of Jean Grey.

X-PLAINED:

  • X-Men: Red
  • Namor’s beard
  • The conclusion of the Muir Island Saga
  • Uncanny X-Men #280
  • X-Factor #70.
  • Cool orange spacesuits that make you immune to telepathy
  • Off-brand Magneto hats
  • Literary terrors of our childhoods
  • Agents DeMarco & Heacock (R.I.P.)
  • Casual use of nuclear weaponry
  • The cavalry
  • The end of the Shadow King
  • The most dysfunctional timeline
  • Uncanny X-Men #200-278
  • The case for an eclectic X-Universe
  • X-Campus
  • Resurrections, and when they do and don’t work

NEXT EPISODE: Ed Piskor’s Grand Design


The visual companion to this episode will be up sometime before the end of 2017, by which point Jay’s lungs will hopefully be working again. Yay?

(Seriously, though, fuck this cold. Fuck this cold so much.)

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 172 – The Muir Island Saga, Part 1

Listen to the podcast here.



LINKS & FURTHER READING

 

172 – The Muir Island Saga, Part 1

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which you are probably more familiar with this show than Jay and Miles are; Paul Smith makes good art; the Shadow King is so extra that his narration has its own narration; Evil Sexy Moira is a fashion queen; there are absolutely no circumstances in which it is appropriate to use the phrase “fist-o-rama”; Legion gets possessed; and we know absolutely nothing about Pokémon.

 

X-PLAINED:

  • Universes where people are other people
  • What Miles thought of Thor: Ragnorok (spoiler-free)
  • The Muir Island Saga (Part 1)
  • Uncanny X-Men #278-279
  • X-Factor #69
  • Teflon continuity
  • Our (lack of) favorite episodes of Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men
  • The Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men wiki
  • An alternate timeline
  • Corpse telepathy
  • A diabolical plan, sort of
  • Topicality
  • Theft
  • Sci-Fi Warlord Moira MacTaggert
  • Improbable aerodynamics
  • The greatest thing
  • The death of Peter Nicholas
  • The uncanny genital valley
  • Interesting ways to expand Cyclops’s powers
  • X-Pokémon

NEXT EPISODE: The Muir Island Saga concludes!


ART CHALLENGE: Send us your horrifying X-Pokémon! (Note: We were not kidding when we said that we know absolutely nothing about Pokémon, which means that we will probably believe anything you tell us about canon. Have fun!)


You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)