Sabretooth – Page 7 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 176 – My Flashback With Andre

December 10, 2017 Jay 8 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

This guyyyyyyyyy! (Wolverine #48)

JUBILEE, NO. God, she’s not even wearing any safety gear. (Wolverine #48)

That, Jubilee, is a Lotus 7. Your mentor’s car. Not as clumsy or overwrought as a DeLorean. An elegant media reference… for a more civilized age. (Wolverine #48)

THAT IS A TERRIBLE WAY TO SHOW SOMEONE THE GUN YOU FOUND. (Wolverine #48)

Actually, Jubilee, Wolverine is 100% in the right here. (Wolverine #48)

No one should ever make this show under any circumstances. (Wolverine #48)

Spoiler: No funky butts are in fact dispensated. (Wolverine #48)

Toldja! It’s Lee Harvey Oswald and Jack Ruby! (Wolverine #49)

WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST WRITE HER NAME FIRST? IT WOULD HAVE FIT! (Wolverine #49)

The calendar is a little silly, but it’s also an incredibly eerie, cool detail. (Wolverine #49)

“I am not a number! I am a free man!” (Wolverine #49)

Sure, it’s a gimmick; but it’s a cool gimmick! (Wolverine #50)

LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL, RIDICULOUS BASTARD AND HIS BEAUTIFUL, RIDICULOUS MOTORCYCLE. (Wolverine #50)

In Hines’s defense, Canada-616 is absolutely terrible. (Wolverine #50)

…and you, in turn, watch the Hydra operatives; as the NSA watches you; and… (Wolverine #50)

I take this to mean that somewhere there’s a splinter universe where Wolverine had an idyllic but ultimately tragic dalliance with a giant artichoke. (Wolverine #50)

HOW MANY YEARS HAS THAT PIECE OF CAKE BEEN SITTING THERE? (Wolverine #50)

I like the idea that the BIG SECRET isn’t that they faked his memories but that they had to reuse sets because of budget constraints. (Wolverine #50)

Sure you are, buddy. (Wolverine #50)

TWIST! (Wolverine #50)

I appreciate the implication that the ultimate horror is a high school prom. (Wolverine #50)

Aw, Logan. Never change. (Wolverine #50)

NEXT EPISODE: Centaur fight at the State Fair (and other educational adventures)!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING

We were on Oregon Public Broadcasting’s State of Wonder! Listen to the episode–and discover a bunch of cool Oregon-based podcasts–here!
Hear all about Wolverine’s terrible birthdays in Episode 113 – Play It Again, Patch.
Brush up on Weapon X in Episode 162 – Naked in Canada.

176 – My Flashback With Andre

December 10, 2017 Jay 65 comments

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In which we were on public radio; it’s probably best just to ignore Romulus; Miles still hasn’t seen the Prisoner and should be very ashamed of himself; toy licensing is the stuff of nightmares; you can upgrade your bloodbath for an additional $1.25; Jay may or may not have family ties to Weapon X; we are suckers for die-cut covers; Wolverine knows how to commit to a gag; and you have some pretty remarkable dreams.

X-PLAINED:

Wolverine’s CIA contacts
Murder-related birthday traditions
Wolverine #48-50
The ship Righteous Indignation and the ‘ship Righteous Indignation
Wolverine size creep
Injudicious footwear
Serial sidekicks
Miles’s continual failure to watch The Prisoner
The Summers Crash model of flashbacks
Panties and/or grenades
Several varyingly reliable flashbacks
How memory works
Mastodon
Andre
How memory doesn’t really work
Kids’ toy licensing
Quasimodo’s hangout
Women in Refrigerators
Secret agent skills
The Dalton school of argument
A legitimately cool cover gimmick
Wolverine vs. the Helicarrier
Adamantium handicrafts
Shiva (but not that one)
Silver Fox (again) (kind of)
A cataclysmic memory backlash
Antarctic X-Hijinks
Jay & Miles’s adventures in YOUR DREAMS

NEXT EPISODE: Centaurs of Texas

CORRECTION: Kyle Rayner’s girlfriend was the source of the Women In Refrigerator’s trope–not Hal Jordan’s, as Jay stated in this episode.

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 171 – Badly Punctuated Equilibrium

November 12, 2017 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! https://xplainthexmen.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/X170.mp3

Domestic bliss, X-Factor-style. (X-Factor Forever #1)

Aw, this guy. (X-Factor Forever #1)

Timmy’s grandmother has good judgment. (X-Factor Forever #1)

“Hey, kids! Have some flechettes!” (X-Factor Forever #1)

Dang. Good job, Hank. (X-Factor Forever #1)

“I did, however, find myself some sweet new glasses.” (X-Factor Forever #1)

Every drawing of Apocalypse’s face in this series is utterly delightful. (X-Factor Forever #2)

When writers no-prize the art… (X-Factor Forever #2)

DAMNIT, TIMMY. (X-Factor Forever #2)

Happy birthday, Timmy, I guess? (X-Factor Forever #2)

Well, THAT can’t be good. (X-Factor Forever #3)

This series makes a fairly good case for both mutant rights and subsidized childcare. (X-Factor Forever #3)

How you know it’s serious business. (X-Factor Forever #3)

I love that they have named and numbered all of their special moves. (X-Factor Forever #3)

“Dude, we are literally holding up one of those children, right here, in front of you.” (X-Factor Forever #3)

Well, shit. (X-Factor Forever #3)

Aw, man, this cover is so fun. (X-Factor Forever #4)

If only your boss listened to Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men. (X-Factor Forever #4)

X-Factor, doing what they do best! (X-Factor Forever #4)

BUT WHY ARE THEY ALL DRESSED UP? (X-Factor Forever #4)

Can we all just take a moment to enjoy Sinister’s deeply goofy face in this panel? (X-Factor Forever #4)

“Who’s on first,” Summers family edition. (X-Factor Forever #4)

Seriously, it’s a great reaction image. (X-Factor Forever #4)

Pretty much any variation on this panel will always get me straight in the feels. (X-Factor Forever #4)

“I dunno. What if we just, like, lob a baby at him?” (X-Factor Forever #5)

I just really like this panel. (X-Factor Forever #5)

“You didn’t tell me this was a VACATION,” said Cyclops. (X-Factor Forever #5)

NEXT EPISODE: The Muir Island Saga, and the secret origins of this nonsense!

As Mentioned in Episode 147 – The Beginning of the End of the Beginning

February 25, 2017 Miles 10 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Buy prints at Redbubble, or contact David to purchase the original!

The first of many vertical two-page spreads (that could probably have just been a normal page, but hey). (New Mutants #90)

Copying and pasting artwork from The Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe – work smarter, not harder! (New Mutants #90)

Just… Just talk to her, Rictor! Talk to anyone! Even the reader!(New Mutants #90)

To be fair, that’s actually pretty in-character for Sunspot. (New Mutants #90)

Okay, that’s just awesome. (New Mutants #90)

“We’ve got to save our friend! But first – pose!” (New Mutants #90)

Behold – crotches! And also a pretty cool fight. (New Mutants #91)

“Shouldn’t our parents have signed permission slips for this field trip, teach?” (New Mutants #91)

Preeeeetty sure this is the beginning of a complicated mating dance. Or just the start of date night. (New Mutants #91)

And then Cable fought robots so well that Rictor forgave him for killing his dad. (New Mutants #91)

That pretty much says it all, huh? (New Mutants #93)

Hey, Rictor got a new costume! And a lot more hair! (New Mutants #93)

“We’re from Japan! Can you tell?” (New Mutants #93)

“My god! Not another use!” (New Mutants #93)

“Why, someone who’s too awesome for backgrounds, of course!” (New Mutants #93)

Give the laxatives some time to work, guys. It’ll be okay. (New Mutants #94)

And then the 90s 90s’d us right in the 90s. (New Mutants #94)

Please note that Cannonball is stealing a key from Dragoness’s headdress in the bottom panel. With his hair, I guess? (New Mutants #94)

Okay, that’s just adorable. (New Mutants #94)

Magneto this guy ain’t.

And that was the last we ever saw of Stryfe and the MLF! (New Mutants #94)

Almost forgot the lovingly-rendered butt!

Next time: X-Factor versus psychic vampires!

147 – The Beginning of the End of the Beginning

February 20, 2017 Jay 31 comments

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In which the New Mutants get a new status quo (and new costumes); we have deeply mixed feelings about Rob Liefeld; Cable is the comprehensive sex-ed to Xavier’s staunch denial and Magneto’s abstinence-only; Rictor gets a new dad by right of arms; and you should totally come party with us at Emerald City Comic Con!

X-PLAINED:

Feral Wolverine
Jay & Miles at Emerald City Comic Con
New Mutants #90, 91, 93, and 94
Early Rob Liefeld
Caliban vs. Sabretooth
Vertical spreads
Stately Xavier Ruins
How to confuse Freedom Force
Imaginary fashions of the early ’90s
How Rictor’s father may or may not have died
The New Mutants’ new uniforms
A lovingly-rendered butt
Improv with Apocalypse
The mystery of Rictor’s shirt
Seismic weaving
The Japanese branch of the MLF (Kamikaze, Sumo, and Dragoness)
The Mutual Liberation Front
Diana, Warrior Princess (again)
Several kisses
Sleet

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor Fights Yuppie LARPers or Something

CORRECTION: In this episode, Jay referred to Bob Harras as Editor-in-Chief of Marvel in 1990. Tom DeFalco was in fact Editor-in-Chief; Harras was the X-Men line editor.

The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 142 – The Monster at the End of This Comic

January 9, 2017 Jay 7 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Buy prints at Redbubble, or contact David to purchase the original!

Apocalypse using his powers: never not funny.(X-Factor #51)

Ship, no. (X-Factor #51)

Meet Opal Tanaka, your new favorite X-Factor supporting character! (X-Factor #51)

HE’S SO FULL OF FEELINGS, YOU GUYS (X-Factor #51)

I know it’s not supposed to be funny, but it really is. (X-Factor #52)

We’ve all basically been on this date, right? (X-Factor #52)

Terry Shoemaker’s Bobby Drake is delightful. (X-Factor #52)

Hiiiiii, The Locust. (X-Factor #52)

And again: Clearly not supposed to be comical, and yet… (X-Factor #52)

Aw, these two. (X-Factor #53)

Well, that’s awkward. (X-Factor #53)

Jean Grey: striding into the future with two middle fingers raised to fate. (X-Factor #53)

And now for something completely different! (X-Factor #55)

Perfect moment is perfect. (X-Factor #55)

Wellp. (X-Factor #55)

He’ll turn out to have been an Infectia monster and therefore doomed anyway, but that doesn’t really change the fact that Beast just kicked a dude in front of a train. (X-Factor #55)

NEXT EPISODE: Happy birthday, Kitty! HAVE SOME MORE SUBTEXT!

FURTHER LISTENING:

For more on Scott and Jean’s Central Park conversation (and an especially ironic listen this week), check out Episode 22 – Through Death and Through Life!

142 – The Monster at the End of This Comic

January 9, 2017 Jay 35 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which Jay and Miles make a personal announcement; moles (probably) don’t lay eggs; Angel is full of angst and flechettes; there’s always room for cello; and no matter how complicated our personal lives get, X-Factor’s will always be worse!

X-PLAINED:

The Tanaka family business
Jay & Miles vs. time travel
Some personal stuff that’s going on
Our definitive Iceman artist
A whole lot of child endangerment
Two reasons not to eat cereal from the 1980s
X-Factor #51-53 and 55
Cable’s first word
Slightly dubious zoning
Charlotte Jones
Opal Tanaka
Mole
Chicken Wings
Grover, but not that Grover
B-grade Sabretooth
A double date
Giant bugs
The Locust (August Hopper)
A walk in the park
A failed proposal
What we talk about when we talk about retcons

NEXT EPISODE: Happy Birthday, Shadowcat!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Ten Gratuitous Close-Ups of Sabretooth’s Face From “SpykeCam”

February 26, 2016 Jay 4 comments

(And one bonus GIF in dubious taste.)

I mentioned in the recap that S1E8 of X-Men: Evolution is all about gratuitous Sabretooth close-ups, but just in case I failed to convey their full grandeur, here is a gallery of ten, each from a different shot. Yes, seriously.

And the pièce de résistance:

Jay Recaps X-Men: Evolution
S1E8: SpykeCam

February 23, 2016 Jay 23 comments

Oh, Evolution Season One. You try so hard. And sometimes you hit your mark: sometimes it’s “Turn of the Rogue.”

And then, sometimes, it’s “SpykeCam.”

Here’s the thing about Spyke: he’s a character born of good intentions and just stunningly thin execution. He’s got a lot of potential, but the actual episodes that focus on him–which are fairly few and far between–and his eventual, deeply dubious fate are almost universally weak. I want to like this dude, and sometimes I really do–but often, it’s in spite of, not because of, the stories built around him.

Ah, well. We’ll always have Dracula: The Rock Musical.

As Mentioned in Episode 78 – The Eye Killers and Other Cautionary Tales

October 11, 2015 Jay 8 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 10/18/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

We missed you, hawk ‘hawk! (Uncanny X-Men #220)

Well, THAT can’t be good. (Uncanny X-Men #220)

It’s somehow creepier that he turns out to be a hologram. (Uncanny X-Men #220)

Mugging at the camera and grinning evilly is a big Naze thing. (Uncanny X-Men #220)

Mister Sinister’s full-page debut! (Uncanny X-Men #221)

Look at this glorious sonofabitch. (Uncanny X-Men #221)

“Spirit and soul” still counts. Take a drink. (Uncanny X-Men #221)

Madelyne Pryor is no one’s damsel in distress. (Uncanny X-Men #221)

Depictions of sound in visual media are really fascinating. This is one of the cooler effects! (Uncanny X-Men #222)

More sound and speech balloons. (Uncanny X-Men #222)

In case you need an additional reason not to masturbate with a cactus: apparently that’s how you get eye-killers. (Uncanny X-Men #222)

“Also, you’re lousy in bed and you’re never going to finish your dissertation.” (Uncanny X-Men #222)

Things more metal than this cover: NONE OF THEM. (Uncanny X-Men #223)

HI, MURDER GRAMPAS! We missed you! (Uncanny X-Men #223)

Well, shit. (Uncanny X-Men #223)

That time Storm caught a fish like a bear. (Uncanny X-Men #223)

One of my favorite weird details of this era is Wolverine wearing that cowboy hat all the damn time, and no one ever commenting on it. (Uncanny X-Men #223)