Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Summers family bullshit

As Mentioned in Episode 391 – Mansion of Theseus

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
THE SIEGE OF THE VAPOR ANTS! THE SIEGE OF THE VAPOR ANTS! (Cable #45)
How has nobody died in the danger room?! (I mean, yet. But still.) (Cable #46)
I wish they’d made the bedrooms look a little more lived-in, but it’s still an effective sequence. (Cable #46)
Cable: Mole Man. (Cable #46)
Look at this nonsense. (Cable #46)
That’s… that’s a whooooole lotta captions, there. (Cable #47)
And a whole lotta beer. (Cable #47)
Meanwhile in X-Man… (X-Man #30)
This fuckin’ urchin, man. (X-Man #30)
Nate “It’s always the ’90s somewhere” Grey. (X-Man #30)
It’s easy to forget that even in the Marvel Universe, not everyone would take flight for granted. (X-Man #30)
NEXT WEEK: HAWK TALK
NEXT EPISODE: Generation X!

 

391 – Mansion of Theseus

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the X-Mansion has unusually large vents; Cable’s hair should not be floppy; Nate Grey meets his maternal grandparents; and we would really like to know more about the Siege of the Vapor Ants.

X-PLAINED:

  • Cable #45-47
  • X-Man #30
  • What various Nathans have been up to
  • Operation Zero Tolerance (again)
  • The Siege of the Vapor Ants
  • Three grenades
  • Beefy vents for beefy men
  • Danger
  • Shi’arese
  • Cable vs. Bastion
  • So much beer
  • Three rad ladies
  • Several Greys
  • Roust
  • Every appearance of Joey and Gaylin Bailey
  • Several faked deaths
  • Possible impact of the MCU on the X-comics’ status quo
  • Character ages

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X

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As Mentioned in Episode 253 – Autumn in the Uncanny Valley

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Aw, these kids. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
THEY’RE SO BAD AT BEING PEOPLE AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
I also love them. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Really, this is one of those issues that just makes me want the X-Men to always be happy and never have to do any superhero stuff. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Fucking hawks, always poaching passes on the gridiron. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Jean “Grab fate by the throat and hold on until it stops moving” Grey. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
What do YOU think Jean is saying here? Fill in her word balloon for a chance to, I dunno, I guess we could publish a gallery of them? (Uncanny X-Men #208)
The second scariest face in this issue. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Excellent use of ironic juxtaposition, there. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
It’s very text-heavy in Charles Xavier’s brain. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
“Now, let’s talk about my silvery mane.” (Uncanny X-Men #209)
I bet he wouldn’t be so depressed if he knew how good his depression beard looked! (Uncanny X-Men #209)
WHY DOES NOBODY IN THIS UNIVERSE HAVE APPROPRIATE PROFESSIONAL BOUNDARIES?! (Uncanny X-Men #209)
Version 1. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
Version 2. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
Ah, there it is. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
“Funny, I don’t remember that day being quite so caption-heavy.” (Uncanny X-Men #210)
“Later, we’re all going to go break into the zoo and flash the zebras. Trust us. It’s TRADITION.” (Uncanny X-Men #210)
Not a lot, Carl. Not a lot. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
“Look, Nathan, this is basically how we bond in my family.” (Uncanny X-Men #210)
He just hangs out in that position. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
“Let’s see. I went after a man in hospice care and got my ass kicked. What’s even lower-hanging fruit?” (Uncanny X-Men #210)
I can’t stop imagining them having to bat those captions out of the way as they run forward. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
He looks so mad about it! (Uncanny X-Men #210)
NEXT EPISODE: Obviously.

LINKS & FURTHER HEADLINES

253 – Autumn in the Uncanny Valley

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which an engagement begins; Jean Grey’s Walden Puddle counterpart is definitely Nicole; Cyclops is the telepathic equivalent of a pit trap with spikes at the bottom; Charles Xavier’s subconscious is very dialogue-heavy; nobody ever has appropriate professional boundaries; Cable dabbles in passive aggression; and the best is yet to come.

X-PLAINED:

  • Some of Blaquesmith’s recent activities
  • Uncanny X-Men #308-310
  • A very sweet retcon
  • Thanksgiving “traditions”
  • How to scare crows
  • Emplates
  • Feelings and telepathy
  • A proposal
  • A misprint
  • Thanksgiving at the Xavier School
  • A somewhat alarming manifestation of a conscience
  • The lies Charles Xavier tells himself
  • Xavier’s depression beard
  • The evolution of Amelia Voght
  • Angry Claremontean Narrator: The Movie
  • The anticlimactic return of Carl “X-Cutioner” Denti
  • An unexpected resolution
  • Foreshadowing
  • Trans voices in the larger comics conversation

NEXT EPISODE: The wedding!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, or your favorite podcatcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 222 – A Tale of Two Betsys

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Spoiler: It’s Betsy Braddock’s original body. (X-Men #20)
Does it seem weird to anyone else that Jubilee is putting her skates on in Professor X’s news den? Is there even room for that? (X-Men #20)
That’s not how gravity OR abs work. (X-Men #20)
BETSY NO (X-Men #20)
We have reached peak Scott Summers. (X-Men #20)
This stuff will be a running backbeat to the remainder of Scott and Jean’s relationship. (X-Men #20)
WHAT?! (X-Men #20)
These reaction faces are priceless. (X-Men #20)
Sure, that’s what you CLAIM, but so far Colossus has not thrown Devil Dinosaur at anybody, so I’m suspicious. (X-Men #21)
Kwannon seems to like posing for pictures about as much as Jay does. (X-Men #21)
Same face, same hair–who wore it better?! (X-Men #21)
This guy, AGAIN. (X-Men #21)
At this point, Matsuo’s hair may actually be more aggressively styled than Wolverine’s. (X-Men #22)
Betsy and/or Kwannon X-Plains Betsy and/or Kwannon. (X-Men #22)
Betsy and/or Kwannon X-Plains Betsy and/or Kwannon. (X-Men #22)
Betsy and/or Kwannon X-Plains Betsy and/or Kwannon. (X-Men #22)
“As completely as I understand what happens when two people like each other very much.” (X-Men #23)
And so forth. (X-Men #23)
And you thought that conversations with YOUR grandparents were awkward. (X-Men #22)
The creepiest thing about Sinister is the moments of profound disconnect when it’s clearly Sinister, but everyone reacts to him like he’s just a regular dude. (X-Men #22)
In which Scott Summers continues to never under any circumstances be allowed to take an actual vacation. (X-Men #22)
Seriously. (X-Men #23)
Heralding several decades of nonsense. (X-Men #23)
NEXT EPISODE: Dracula, live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival!

LINKS & FURTHER SORROWS

222 – A Tale of Two Betsys

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which it has been a pretty intense month; there is a lot to unpack about Psylocke; we are confused by hip teen lingo; Cyclops definitively lacks game; organized crime is anything but; and the mystery of the third Summers brother officially begins.

X-PLAINED:

  • How the Maximoffs joined the Avengers
  • X-Cutioner’s Song fallout
  • An X-ceptionally convoluted set of retcons
  • X-Men #20-23
  • How not to repair an airplane
  • One way to get out of an awkward conversation
  • Several Betsys Braddock
  • Revanche
  • Dubiously organized crime
  • Kwannon
  • Nyorin’s diary
  • Awkward family conversations
  • Mike Milbury
  • Twin Peaks Season 3
  • Akira Yoshida

NEXT EPISODE: Dracula in Vegas!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)