Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Summers family bullshit

As Mentioned in Episode 488 – There Goes the Moon (Mutant X May, Part 3)

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Color-coded Horsemen of Apocalypse! (Mutant X #19)
What’s the magic word? (Mutant X #19)
Someone let that flying aerobics instructor in! The rain is going to wreck her hair! (Mutant X #20)
That A on his belt stands for Ally! (Mutant X #20)
Note that Charles Xavier’s Evil Mullet is never seen outside of these two panels. (Mutant X #21)
Not a bad riff on the Phoenix costume, honestly. (Mutant X #21)
And then Professor X turned into Doctor Fate. (Mutant X #22)
“That’s right, my friends! We must strike Galactus with every color of the traffic light!” (Mutant X #22)
You ever have a dream where someone is mean to you and then you’re still mad at them when you see them in real life? (Mutant X #23)
Behold! Bargain-basement X-Man, with bonus moppets! (Mutant X #23)
Just a hell of a cover. (Mutant X #24)
Why would you put a portal to the Negative Zone in the goddamn FLOOR?! At least put up a guard rail or something! I’m calling OSHA! (Mutant X #24)
Spoiler: they all just go to a bar. (Mutant X #25)
Flowers for Beast-gernon. (Yes, yes, we know Algernon is the mouse.) (Mutant X #25)
ah jeez (Mutant X #25)
It’s cool, Bloodstorm. We’ve all been there. (Mutant X #26)
The Marauders! (Mutant X #26)
Meet Dagger. And also sorta Cloak. (Mutant X #27)
Awwwwww (Mutant X #27)
Okay, that kid is way too chill. (Mutant X #28)
That’s way better than Evil Xavier’s mullet! (Mutant X #29)
Why, it’s the brand new Sabre-Roaster 3000, as seen on TV! (Mutant X #29)
Plus Iron Giant Man, but he’s too big for this panel! (Mutant X #30)
(This caption intentionally left blank) (Mutant X #31)
After this, they blow up the moon! (Mutant X #31)
The Beyonder x-plains Mutant X! And also eats Captain America. (Mutant X Annual 2001)
It’s really hard to pick a favorite! (Mutant X Annual 2001)
Benjamin E. Yonder, you put the population of New York City down right now! (Mutant X Annual 2001)
Well, I would have said “WHAT?!” (Mutant X #32)
Dracula dies not with a bang, but with a PFFFT. (Mutant X #32)
*sniffle* (Mutant X #32)
Goodbye, Earth-1298. It’s been a hell of a ride. (Mutant X #32)
NEXT TIME: Black ops in black leather!

488 – There Goes the Moon (Mutant X May, Part 3)

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In which we reap the consequences of our choices; possession is 18/10 of the law; Sinister dresses for the occasion; Hank gets his groove back; Havok of Earth-1298 is a jerk; Hank loses his groove; Captain America blows up the moon; the Beyonder experiences a stirring; Dracula makes a deal; and Mutant X May comes to an end.

X-PLAINED:

  • The aftermath of Mutant X
  • Mutant X #19-32
  • Mutant X Annual 2001
  • The story so far
  • Character color coding
  • Some telepathic misdirection
  • Apocalypse of Earth-1298
  • Charles Xavier of Earth-1298
  • Professor X’s Juggernaut-fightin’ mullet
  • A whole lot of possession
  • Fake Galactus
  • Several fears
  • X-Man of Earth-1298
  • Child batteries
  • The worst place for a portal to the Negative Zone
  • How Hank McCoy became the Brute
  • Vampire problems
  • The Marauders of Earth-1298
  • The Outcasts of Earth-1298
  • Cloak & Dagger of Earth-1298
  • James Hudson of Earth-1298
  • The Avengers of Earth-1298
  • The Beyonder of Earth-1298 who is also kind of the Goblin Force
  • Several additional superheroes
  • A last stand
  • The appeal of alternate timelines
  • Earth-1298’s best glow-ups

NEXT EPISODE: Attack of the Meatspore Stormtroopers!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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As Mentioned in Episode 487 – The Only Well-Adjusted Cyclops in the Multiverse (Mutant X May, Part 2)

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…the 2025 story. (Mutant X #9)
The Morlocks! (Mutant X #9)
A damned fine Magneto indeed. (Mutant X #9)
Polaris from X-Factor meets Terra from Final Fantasy VI. (Mutant X #10)
Nightcrawler-1298 can buckle our swashes anytime. (Mutant X #10)
The rest of the X-Men! (Mutant X #10)
The weather is wild today. (Mutant X #11)
I think this might be a big deal, you guys. (Mutant X #12)
Drama! (Mutant X #12)
The Goblin Queen falls. (Mutant X #12)
The secondary theme of Mutant X is the relationship between Ororo Munroe and rodents. (Mutant X #13)
Someone missed the memo about Diaphanous Romper Fridays. (Mutant X #13)
Ninja versus vampire: a tale as old as time. (Mutant X #13)
The most well-adjusted Cyclops in the Multiverse (and friends)! (Mutant X #14)
Bros! (Mutant X #14)
Meet Katherine Pryde, Black Queen of the Hellfire Club; Sebastian Shaw in an iron lung; palette-swapped Captain America; and Sunfire! (Mutant X #15)
De T’ieves Guild. (Mutant X #16)
A thief and a t’ief. (Mutant X Annual 2000)
“Dear Diary, only you understand me.” (Mutant X Annual 2000)
The origin of Gampire/Vambit. (Mutant X Annual 2000)
That first panel is just adorable. (Mutant X Annual 2000)
What a great guy, that Cap! Hope he doesn’t blow up the moon or anything later. (Mutant X #17)
And again: bros! (Mutant X #17)
Seems fine. (Mutant X #18)
Hey, that’s our podcast’s schtick! No swiping! (Mutant X #18)
NEXT TIME: The end of Mutant X May!

487 – The Only Well-Adjusted Cyclops in the Multiverse (Mutant X May, Part 2)

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In which Mutant X May continues; the X-Men return from space; it’s okay not to fill in every detail of a world; Havok leans into parenthood; we meet the only well-adjusted Cyclops in the multiverse; in any universe, Forge has terrible judgment; and the Six get some new members.

X-PLAINED:

  • Several notable upcoming events in Mutant X
  • What’s happened so far
  • Mutant X #9-18
  • Mutant X Annual 2000
  • The Morlocks of Earth-1298
  • The Mole Man of Earth-1298
  • The Yancy Street Underground
  • Magneto of Earth-1298
  • Superhero costume color theory
  • Polaris of Earth-1298
  • The X-Men of Earth-1298
    • Magneto
    • Polaris
    • Nightcrawler
    • Rogue
    • Mystique
    • Quicksilver
  • The Goblin Entity
  • Doctor Doom of Earth-1298
  • Namor of Earth-1298
  • The origin of Bloodstorm
  • Dracula’s fellas
  • The Starjammers of Earth-1298
    • Cyclops
    • Binary
    • Nova
    • Lockheed
    • Silver Surfer
  • Space alien problems
  • A fairly literal deus ex machina
  • Captain America of Earth-1298
  • A terrible idea
  • The United Guild of Thieves and Assassins
  • Gambit of Earth-1298
  • Raven LeBeau
  • The origin of Vampire Gambit
  • Mister Sinister of Earth-1298
  • Jean Grey of Earth-1298
  • Where Scott Summers of Earth-1298 ranks on the Cyclops Has a Good Day scale
  • Where to put X-logos on a costume

NEXT EPISODE: Mutant X May concludes!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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486 – Welcome to Earth-1298 (Mutant X May, Part 1)

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In which we embark on a Great Work; it remains hard to be Alex Summers; and it’s also always Inferno on Earth-1298.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mutant X May
  • Mutant X #1-8
  • Mutant X Annual 1999
  • Havok (Alex Summers) (more) (again)
  • Earth-1298
  • The Six
    • The Brute (Hank McCoy)
    • Ice-man (Bob Drake)
    • Bloodstorm (Ororo Munroe)
    • The Fallen (Warren Kenneth Worthington III)
    • Marvel Woman (Madelyne Pryor)
  • Bannerman Castle
  • The original five X-Men of Earth-1298
  • S.H.I.E.L.D. of Earth-1298
  • Scotty Summers
  • Elektra of Earth-1298
  • The Swarms of Moot
  • The Fantastic Four of Earth-1298
  • Canada of Earth-1298
  • The Pack
    • Logan
    • Sabretooth
    • Wild Child
  • Demon problems
  • The Goblin Queen of Earth-1298
  • Kitty Pryde of Earth-1298
  • Forge of Earth-1298
  • Man-Spider
  • Some murders
  • Alligators of the Night
  • National politics
  • Cerebro of Earth-1298
  • Dr. Strange of Earth-1298
  • The Nexus of All Realities
  • Stingray of Earth-1298
  • Yellowjacket of Earth-1298
  • Doc Sampson of Earth-1298
  • Vendetta
  • Firestar of Earth-1298
  • A coincidence
  • Adam X and Vulcan of Earth-1298

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 473 – The Baker’s Dozen (The Twelve, Part Three)

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You know it’s serious business when someone smashes the logo. (Uncanny X-Men #377)
How long did it take him to set up that machinery? (Uncanny X-Men #377)
He said it! He said it! (Uncanny X-Men #377)
Apocalypse’s balls. (Uncanny X-Men #377)
Apocalypse’s balls, version two. (Cable #76)
A younger Cable. (Cable #76)
Aw, man. (Cable #76)
FEELINGS. (Cable #76)
Potato snow. (Cable #76)
Maybe the bodice is scale, not quilted? But it really looks quilted. (Cable #76)
The power of continuity! (X-Men #97)
The chewy center of Apocalypse. (X-Men #97)
And THAT’S how you reference Uncanny X-Men #137. (X-Men #97)
Well, shit. (X-Men #97)
NEXT EPISODE: Jay & Miles 2024 Winter Special!

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473 – The Baker’s Dozen (The Twelve, Part Three)

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In which you know it’s serious business when a logo gets smashed; the prophecy of the Twelve is an elaborate prank; we have a lot of Summers family feelings; Apocalypse is not a very good planner; and the Twelve reaches its conclusion.

X-PLAINED:

  • Who Madelyne Pryor’s psychic ghost really is
  • The story so far
  • Uncanny X-Men #377
  • Cable #76
  • X-Men #97
  • Perks of immortality
  • A slightly gratuitous way to destroy an airplane
  • Several doppelgangers
  • Apocalypse’s big, stupid plan
  • A fancy science machine
  • The Atomium
  • The Twelve
  • The three elements
  • The best issue of the Twelve
  • Orb action
  • Cable’s knowledge of history
  • Summers feelings
  • How to establish stakes
  • Potato storms
  • The mutant Skrulls (more) (again)
  • Cadre K
  • Categories of mutants
  • How to beta test an Armageddon machine
  • Alpha nerd Charles Xavier
  • Weaponized continuity
  • The color(s) of Cyclops’s eyes
  • How to evoke Uncanny X-Men #137
  • An unfortunate twist
  • Mundane uses of superpowers
  • The Altar
  • What would have improved the Twelve

NEXT EPISODE: Winter Special!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 424 – Times Change

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Looking for a stand-alone file of the muppet opening? Here you go:

Fixx just wants to be friends. (X-Factor #146)
Seriously, what the hell is going on with that facial hair? (X-Factor #146)
Havok’s powers look so good in this whole arc. (X-Factor #146)
Aw, Shard. (X-Factor #147)
I really enjoy this scene. (X-Factor #148)
Again: Havok’s powers, looking cool. (X-Factor #148)
It really is a terrible sweater. I should probably knit it someday. (X-Factor #149)
“Have fun in Alaska!” (X-Factor #149)
Madrox doesn’t betray anyone in that future, at least. (X-Factor #149)
And that’s that. (X-Factor #149)
Narrator voice: It was, in fact, the end. (X-Factor #149)
NEXT EPISODE: Psi-War!

424 – Times Change

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In which everything is Havok’s fault; Jay is a bad influence; Polaris makes some valid points; Jamie Madrox is the Bobby Drake of X-Factor; and X-Factor vol. 1 ends with a bang.

X-PLAINED:

  • Muppet rules
  • X-Factor, vol. 1, in general
  • X-Factor #146-149
  • Sense of place
  • Jude Black and his inexplicable facial hair
  • Boundaries
  • Edible Arrangements
  • A different kind of sports bar
  • Kevin
  • Nostalgia, I guess?
  • Several confrontations
  • Temporal insanity
  • A very specialized course
  • What happens next
  • The universe where Dazzler replaced Jean Grey in the original X-Factor
  • Characters we would like to have seen more of

NEXT EPISODE: Psi-War!

Special thanks to muppets Michal Richardson, Bilal Dardai, and Matt Hunter!

(You can find an mp3 of just the muppet opening in the visual companion.)

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 406 – The Most Dangerous Mini-Game

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So, that’s where he got it! (Wolverine #-1)
I love this design for Sabretooth. (Wolverine #-1)
And also his car. (Wolverine #-1)
Literally nothing is okay at the Blanding/Masters house. (X-Factor #-1)
Mister Sinister lurks in the bushes. (X-Factor #-1)
They’re AT LEAST in their early 20s. (X-Factor #-1)
DAMN, Haley! (X-Factor #-1)
The most dangerous mini-game. (X-Factor #-1)
Alex Summers in a nutshell. (X-Factor #-1)
Wellp, you did that. (X-Force #-1)
I swear I thought this thing was gonna be a red herring. (X-Force #-1)
Everything cute about this issue is also really sad. (X-Force #-1)
How Thunderbird got his code name. (X-Force #-1)
Don’t worry, Tabby; soon you’ll be stealing with the best of ’em! (X-Force #-1)
The Circus of Cameos. (X-Force #-1)
In which John Produstar straight-up wrassles a tiger. (X-Force #-1)
“We also do a lot of crimes, but they’re pretty low-key as comic-book circus crimes go.” (X-Force #-1)
Ugh, this guy. (X-Force #-1)
Naked in Space: The Charles Francis Xavier Story. (X-Men #-1)
Magneto, a sensible fellow, wears clothes in the vacuum of space. (X-Men #-1)
IT NEVER STOPS BEING FUNNY (X-Men #-1)
DRAMATIC! JUXTAPOSITION! (X-Men #-1)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor hits rock-bottom, again.

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