“As completely as I understand what happens when two people like each other very much.” (X-Men #23)
And so forth. (X-Men #23)
And you thought that conversations with YOUR grandparents were awkward. (X-Men #22)
The creepiest thing about Sinister is the moments of profound disconnect when it’s clearly Sinister, but everyone reacts to him like he’s just a regular dude. (X-Men #22)
In which Scott Summers continues to never under any circumstances be allowed to take an actual vacation. (X-Men #22)
Seriously. (X-Men #23)
Heralding several decades of nonsense. (X-Men #23)
NEXT EPISODE: Dracula, live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival!
In which it has been a pretty intense month; there is a lot to unpack about Psylocke; we are confused by hip teen lingo; Cyclops definitively lacks game; organized crime is anything but; and the mystery of the third Summers brother officially begins.
X-PLAINED:
How the Maximoffs joined the Avengers
X-Cutioner’s Song fallout
An X-ceptionally convoluted set of retcons
X-Men #20-23
How not to repair an airplane
One way to get out of an awkward conversation
Several Betsys Braddock
Revanche
Dubiously organized crime
Kwannon
Nyorin’s diary
Awkward family conversations
Mike Milbury
Twin Peaks Season 3
Akira Yoshida
NEXT EPISODE: Dracula in Vegas!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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I made a list of people who draw Polaris’s hair better than Larry Stroman, and there were no names on it, because no one draws Polaris’s hair better than Larry Stroman. (X-Factor #71)
Cursive! (X-Factor #71)
Team dossiers, and some Twin Peaks name-dropping! (X-Factor #71)
Well, shit. (X-Factor #71)
This gag was pretty much inevitable. (X-Factor #72)
The extremely doomed Professor Vic Chalker. (X-Factor #72)
Poor guy. (X-Factor #72)
THAT CROWD, THO (X-Factor #72)
Aw, Madrox. (X-Factor #72)
So, that happened. (X-Factor #73)
Seriously, there’s just a page and a half, mid-fight, dedicated to gratuitous Rocketeer references. (X-Factor #73)
(Including the plane. Which, yes, is later confirmed to be wood.) (X-Factor #73)
And yet, somehow, it’s STILL better than Alex’s M-Word speech 25 years later. (X-Factor #73)
Remember when Alex Summers had principles? SIGH. (X-Factor #73)
B.D.? I dunno if I see it… (X-Factor #73)
Oh. Yeah, never mind. I see it.
Rahne really looks like she’s here to offer you your heart’s desire in exchange for your heart, or something equally creepy and folklorish. (X-Factor #74)
Meet Slab. He’s a Nasty Boy. (X-Factor #74)
Write your own dick joke. (X-Factor #74)
Man, Evil Madrox is so creepy! (X-Factor #74)
Meet the Nasty Boys! Also Senator Shaffran, but he’s going to die soon, so, whatever. (X-Factor #75)
OKAY BUT HOW DO THE CLOTHES WORK?! (X-Factor #75)
It’s not common knowledge, but actually, all U.S. senators can do this. (X-Factor #75)
It’s funny ’cause his name’s Ricochet. (X-Factor #75)
In which X-Factor gets a revamp; Larry Stroman is the best part of 1991; Havok used to have principles; Multiple Man is his own worst enemy; Jay’s Doonesbury knowledge finally becomes relevant; Strong Guy breaks the Washington Monument; and Val Cooper may or may not have married Mister Sinister.
X-PLAINED:
The Madrox who got away
Alan Disambiguation
The X-Factor that might have been
X-Factor #71-75
Banter™
A small selection of a gratuitously large volume of pop-culture references
An evil individual
One of the many deaths of Multiple Man
Larry Stroman extras
Professor Vic Chalker
A Sinister scheme
The iteration of X-Factor most likely to end up naked on television
Your real-life Jamie Madrox reference
GeeCees
A canonical Doonesbury reference
One way to get out of writing a term paper
The proper plural of Madrox
Ricochet
The Nasty Boys
Death by irony
The evolution of Magik’s Soul Sword
Why female superheroes rarely date civilian men
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
In which we continue to follow the post-Siege Perilous X-Men; Dazzler finally makes her big-screen debut; Callisto gets a day job; Colossus gets a ponytail; still more X-Men fake their deaths; Jean Grey gets tentacles; Professor Wolverine is a jerk; and Jay overthinks Community.
X-PLAINED:
The new-new Howling Commandos
Hit-Monkey
Uncanny X-Men #259-263
Dazzler: The Movie (again)
Freddie Stanacheck
Eric Beale
What Dazzler would do
Peter Nicholas
Jenny Ransome and Phillip Moreau (again)
Twin Peaks references, canonical and otherwise
Genoshan foreign policy
The value of allegory
Some regrettable X-costumes
That time Jean Grey got tentacles
Molly the cat
Dubious medical ethics
Hardcase and the Harriers
An unlikely pizza party
A theoretical Community/X-Men costume party
NEXT EPISODE: Spotlight on the Starjammers!
You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
This ridiculous motherfucker who is now THREE PEOPLE. What the hell, Fantomex?
This isn’t Cyclops’s worst vacation. Hell, it’s not even his worst honeymoon. (X-Men #176)
Wolverine and Mariko: dealing with relationship issues like grown-ups. We choose to believe that wearing a mask that looks like your hair is a prerogative of adulthood. (X-Men #176)
You’d REALLY THINK Scott would know what an octopus looks like by now, but I guess he was blindfolded for a lot of his time in Octopusheim. (X-Men #176)
Scott! The sea’s a lovely lady when you play in her. But if you play with her, she’s a BITCH! Play in the sea, yes, but never play with her. You’re lucky to be here! You’re lucky to be ALIVE! (X-Men #176, with sincere apologies to the late, great Spalding Gray. Seriously, go watch Swimming to Cambodia. And Monster in a Box. And Gray’s Anatomy. Now.)
Yeah, good luck with that, Sparky. (X-Men #176)
Val Cooper: Definitely the sister of Special Agent Dale Cooper.
The early ’80s: A more innocent time, when all a hero needed was coke and epic shoulder pads, and you could kill Wolverine by slitting his throat. (X-Men #177)
Why is Alex dressed like an elf? (X-Men #177)
As diversions go, that’s a pretty impressively orchestrated one. Go, Brotherhood! (X-Men #177)
CYCLOPS WHAT THE HELL IS EVEN WRONG WITN YOU (X-Men #178)
“Get the asprin, Rogue. I feel a crossover event coming on.” (X-Men #178)
Awyeah. (X-Men #178)
Why is Kitty wearing an unbranded Fantastic 4 costume? Who the hell knows? Do we even need a reason, at this point? (X-Men #178)
99% sure Cyndi Lauper wrote a song about this. (X-Men #179)
This is innocuous in context, until you realize he’s sniffing a dead teenager in a morgue. (X-Men #179)
Aw, Leech. (X-Men #179)
LOOK AT THIS FUCKING WIZARD LOOK AT HIS HAT LOOK AT HOW HE CLEARLY BELONGS ON THE SET OF FLASH GORDON (X-Men #179)
Professor Xavier engages in a rare moment of being absolutely delightful. (X-Men #178)
I like to imagine that Kitty and Doug’s side adventures are the subject of a mid-’80s feature film starring Jenny Lewis. (X-Men #180)
Sky closure is the best closure. (X-Men #180)
Literally the only worthwhile panel in all twelve issues of Secret Wars. (Secret Wars #1)
“I’ll see she’s raised as if she were my own. HOPE SHE LIKES BEING DROWNED IN PUDDLES.” (X-Men #181)
Oh. That guy. Again. (X-Men #181)
This Erica Henderson drawing of Warlock and Cypher doing Troy and Abed in the Morning may be the single nerdiest thing Rachel owns, and that’s saying something.
In which Cyclops is the worst at vacations, Mystique is your favorite MurderMom™, Havok is eternally ABD, Kitty Pryde does science, Callisto doesn’t give a damn about her bad reputation, Xavier has a Troy Barnes moment, Miles may be the only person with fond memories of Secret Wars, and Rachel finally gets to make Spalding Gray references.
X-Plained:
Fantomex
Uncanny X-Men #176-181
Reset issues
Scott Summers’s second-worst honeymoon
Cephalopod disambiguation
Project Wideawake (more) (again)
Valerie Cooper
Foreshadowing
Public displays of affection
Leech
How X-Men age
A sewer wizard
Doug Ramsey
Secret Wars
Japan
Mystique’s kids
Douglock
Mystique’s powers
The other X-Men Forever
Next Week: The New Mutants gets weird!
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.