Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: White Queen

As Mentioned in Episode 42 – A Firestar Is Born

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 2/1/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends (but not in that order).
Context is irrelevant. (Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends)
“John, dude, can we talk about the fact that you just turned into a fucking bear? No? Okay.” Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends
“It means you’ll be hated and feared! Isn’t that wonderful?” (Firestar #1)
“Professor, is it true what they say about exposition in X-books?” (Firestar #1)
Wait ’til they find out she hasn’t even read Carlyle! (Firestar #1)
Oh. Angelica. Honey. No. (Firestar #1)
I’m pretty sure there’s a Talking Heads music video that starts exactly like this. (Firestar #1)
DON’T TRUST HER, ANGELICA! SHE’LL BLOW UP YOUR HORSE! (Firestar #1)
This horse’s name is Butter Rum. Don’t get too attached. (Firestar #2)
The Emma Frost who actually cares about her students did not make her first appearance until some years later. This Emma Frost is just an unapologetic monster. (Firestar #2)
Emma Frost is the best evil narrator. (Firestar #2)
“What could POSSIBLY go wrong?” (Firestar #2)
Miles ‘ships it SO hard. (Firestar #2)
That horror-movie WHINNEY! in the last panel, though. (Firestar #2)
Remember that time Emma Frost convinced a vulnerable teenage girl that she had killed her beloved horse by becoming sexually aroused? BECAUSE THAT DEFINITELY HAPPENED. (Firestar #2)
“What? This? Oh, no, I build killer robots of ALL my friends.” (Firestar #3)
AHAHAHA OH RANDALL YOU’RE SO DOOMED (Firestar #3)
Firestar X-Plains X-Men #193. (Firestar #3)
Seriously, I’m pretty sure Angelica’s dad being kind of a dick to her is the only thing that saves him from CERTAIN DOOM. (Firestar #3)
(He feels bad about it, though, so he still gets beaten up in the airport.) (Firestar #3)
Why does she throw her drink? We may never know. (Firestar #3)
And then she just straight-up breaks into “Stars” from Les Mis. (Firestar #4)
So sinister! (Firestar #4)
And that’s the end of Randall. (Firestar #4)
Fight scene, or breakin’ it down on the dance floor? YOU BE THE JUDGE! (Firestar #4)
For full effect, you have to imagine Firestar’s dialogue read by Alison Brie as Annie Edison. (Firestar #4)
Next Week: Secret Wars Why we drink.

42 – A Firestar Is Born

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 2/1/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 2/1/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which Miles has a brush with nostalgia; Angelica Jones is secretly a Thomas Hardy protagonist; it doesn’t need to make sense if it’s awesome; and Emma Frost really needs a mustache to twirl.

X-Plained:

  • Trevor Fitzroy
  • Firestar (Angelica Jones)
  • Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends
  • Nostalgia
  • X-Men, if sometimes the main characters were bears
  • Inexplicably Australian Wolverine
  • Ms. Lion
  • Marvel Divas
  • Sudsy fun
  • Superhero sitcoms
  • Firestar #1-4
  • Basic palmistry
  • Generic mean girls
  • Coen Brothers YA
  • The reinvention of Emma Frost
  • Some epic gaslighting
  • Butter Rum
  • Mutivac
  • Miles’s favorite star-crossed ‘ship
  • Why Thunderbird I has stayed dead
  • Contextual definitions of “organic”

NEXT WEEK: Secret Wars

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 30 – New-Wave Superteens in Love

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Art by David Wynne
Rahne has a Kaylee moment. (New Mutants #7)
SO THAT HAPPENED. (New Mutants #7)
W.W.M.P.I.D.? (New Mutants #7)
Just in case you’ve forgotten, Team America is–inexplicably–still around. (New Mutants #8)
“Not only did I spill my soul to you thinking you didn’t speak English, but it turned out your outfit was also really fucking racist. THANKS, AMARA.” (New Mutants #8)
Well, then. (New Mutants #10)
You do you, Selene. (New Mutants #10)
Magma’s best superpower is her op-art form. (New Mutants #11)
Remember the time the New Mutants straight-up murdered someone? Because that happened. (New Mutants #11)
This better be a Magnum, P.I. reference. (New Mutants #12)
Meanwhile at Project Wideawake, things are not going quote as planned. (New Mutants #13)
Somewhere in the multiverse, there’s a universe that’s exactly like Earth 616 in every way except that Kitty and Doug’s code names are Acid Burn and Zero Cool. (New Mutants #13)
Return of Those Kids at the Mall. (New Mutants #14)
X-MEN! (New Mutants #14)
Have we mentioned that we love Emma Frost? We love Emma Frost. Also: Kitty’s got a new costume. Drink! (New Mutants #16)
“This is even more awkward than the time we walked in on Bobby telling a photo of Magnum, P.I. that he wished he was his real dad.” (New Mutants #16)
Sam Guthrie: Best Kid, or Best Kid? Best Kid. (New Mutants #16)
Amara Aquilla: Horta. (New Mutants #16)
Are the Hellions evil, or just kinda New-Wave? You be the judge! (New Mutants #17)
We cannot overemphasize the extent to which New Mutants is a school drama at this point. (New Mutants #17)
MAGNUM, P.I.! (New Mutants #17)
They may be evil, but they’re not wrong. (New Mutants #17)
We passed your stealth and plainclothes cosplay contest entries along to X-Pert Judge Kris Anka, and he sent us back two winners: Congratulaions to lilpeepeedanceofdoom as plainclothes Gold Balls (you can read more about his costume here), and Elle as stealth Excalibur-era Shadowcat! (We’ll be getting in touch with you shortly with prize details!) Thanks again to contest sponsor TV Store Online, and judge Kris Anka–and be sure to swing by the blog early next week to see a roundup of all the amazing finalists!
Next week: Chekhov’s Raygun, time travel, and tiny shorts!

Links and Further Reading:

30 – New-Wave Superteens in Love

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Art by David Wynne
Art by David Wynne

 

In which the New Mutants are the Bobbsey Twins to the X-Men’s Sam Spade; Nina da Costa is Ms. Frizzle; New Mutants does a Rachel-and-Miles cold open; Selene is the Elizabeth Bathory of lava; Rahne likes Sam, Sam likes Amara, Dani likes Bobby, and Bobby likes everyone; Gil and Art are no Harvey and Janet; Miles has a Del Preston moment, Magma is a Horta; and if something super happens, you should tell a super adult.

X-Plained:

  • Selene
  • Externals
  • New Mutants #7-17
  • The da Costa family
  • Axe
  • Some really dubious cosmetic choices
  • Nova Roma
  • Amara Aquilla (Magma)
  • Op-art as a superpower
  • Doug Ramsey’s hair
  • The Massachusetts Academy
  • New-Wave Superteens
  • Deflection
  • The Hellions
  • Not-Particularly-Secret Origins of the Hellfire Club
  • Publishing schedules

Next Week: Lifedeath, time travel, and Forge’s tiny shorts.

You can find a visual companion to the episode – as well as links to recommended reading and the winners of the stealth / plainclothes cosplay contest – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

As Mentioned in Episode 27 – NYCC 2014 Special

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Adam X the X-Treme, redesigned by David Wynne!
From left to right: Russell, Kris, Rachel, and Miles.
Thor #1, drawn by Russell Dauterman and written by Jason Aaron. So good it preempted every X-book for our pick of the week.
Kris Anka’s art in Uncanny X-Men #26. For more on this issue, see Anka Was Right.
Generation X Underground Special, by Jim Mahfood. SO GOOD.
New X-Men #34, art by Skottie Young.
Kris Anka’s Psylocke redesign. PANTS!
Kris Anka’s Storm redesign. MOHAWK!
Russell Dauterman’s line art from the Cyclops #1 flashback page.
EMMA FROST, YOU ARE DELIGHTFUL. (Art by Kris Anka, from Uncanny X-Men #24)
We are all Emma Frost, forever. (Art by Kris Anka, from Uncanny X-Men #24)
Hepzibah’s tail, drawn by Russell Dauterman in Cyclops #1.
No, seriously. Miles has a classic Corsair costume…
…which you will never, ever, ever seen worn in tandem with Rachel’s Awkward Space Teen Cyclops costume, because there is a line, man.
Sorry, Namor: Russell Dauterman is definitely the king of Abs-lantis.
That One Octopus Shirt, as drawn by Kris Anka.
Miles is worthy as hell. (Photo courtesy of Jenn Wimmer.)
Next Week: Kitty gets a new codename. What’s new, Shadowcat?

Links and Further Reading:

27 – NYCC 2014 Special with Kris Anka and Russell Dauterman

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Adam X the X-Treme, updated by David Wynne!
Adam X the X-Treme, updated by David Wynne!

In which we sit down with two of our favorite X-artists for an hour of continuity, character design, and a lot of wine; Corsair is the coolest; Emma Frost is a secret viewpoint character; Bishop is the anti-Booster Gold; Adam X the X-Treme gets a new hat; and none of us know how to pronounce “Bachalo.”

X-Plained:

  • The secret X-origins of Kris Anka and Russell Dauterman
  • Definitive books and artists
  • Favorite characters and series
  • Mephistoid spacesuit logistics
  • Emma Frost as a reader stand-in
  • The secret origin of Psylocke’s pants
  • Uncanny X-Men
  • The best flashback montage ever
  • Underappreciated / underdeveloped characters
  • All the Rogues
  • Plot twists
  • Bishop
  • Dream teams
  • Sexy dudes with sexy abs
  • How to update Adam X the X-Treme

Next Week: What’s New, Shadowcat?

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

As Mentioned in Episode 16 – The Official Unofficial Not-at-SDCC (Rachel and Miles X-Plain the) X-Men Panel

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When we say that Quentin Quire has the same fashion sense as Rachel, this is not what we’re talking about. (Wolverine and the X-Men #3)
Seriously. She’s never going to take it off again.
YAYBO! Thanks to your support, we’ve unlocked a bunch of very cool milestone goals on Patreon, from weekly video reviews of current X-books, to original illustrations, written posts, giant-size semiannuals, and more!
Why we can’t have nice things. (House of M #7)
As promised, from Uncanny X-Men #497.
Cyclops seems to like the premise of Schism about as much as we do.
We were going to photoshop word balloons in so Cap was yelling “What are we fighting about, again?” and Cyclops was yelling, “I have no idea!” but we ran out of time, so I guess just take that as read.
Yeah, that’ll end well, Iron Man. (Avengers vs. X-Men #5)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (Avengers vs. X-Men #11)
This moment has shown up in flashbacks in something like four books so far this month, so it’s probably gonna be PRETTY RELEVANT in the near future. (Avengers vs. X-Men #11)
Pretty much everything you need to know about Battle of the Atom. (Wolverine and the X-Men #37)
This was the only yearbook photo we could find with both of us in it. TRIVIA: Can you spot the other current comics-industry pro in this photo?
Aw, bros. (Wolverine and the X-Men #40)
Oh, that’ll be awkward. (Uncanny X-Men #23)
There are… kind of a lot of X-Men books currently coming out.
A reasonably comprehensive list of current X-titles.
We are 100% with Cyclops on this. (Wolverine and the X-Men #40)
Heh. (Schism #1)
Next week: Rogue! And space adventures! And Carol Danvers!
Also next week: Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men on Comics Alliance! It’ll go up here, as well as iTunes and Stitcher, at the usual time, but you’ll also be able to catch new episodes every Thursday at ComicsAlliance.com!
Bonus not-at-SDCC cosplay pics: Miles as Starman…
…and Rachel as space-pirate-in-a-polo-shirt teenage Cyclops.

Links:

16 – The Official Unofficial Not-at-SDCC (Rachel and Miles X-Plain the) X-Men Panel

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In which we correct a startling omission, explore the current state of the X-Universe, and speculate wildly; Quentin Quire has excellent fashion sense; Rachel gets a new accessory; Miles goes off-brand; the X-Men are somewhat complicated; Iron Man has poor decision-making skills; Charles Xavier dies for real; Beast might be a supervillain; we briefly forget Marc Guggenheim’s first name; and the future remains a relative mystery.

For purposes of continuity, it’s probably worth noting that this episode was recorded before the SDCC Marvel panel.

X-Plained:

  • Quentin Quire
  • Patreon
  • A startling omission from the official SDCC lineup
  • The current state of the X-Men
  • Decimation
  • Dark Reign
  • Utopia
  • Schism
  • Avengers vs. X-Men
  • Mutant politics
  • Hope Summers
  • The Phoenix/P.E.N.I.S. five (again)
  • The (real) (this time) (we think) death of Charles Xavier
  • Teenager hijinks
  • Crossover events
  • Battle of the Atom
  • Semantics of supervillainy
  • How Wolverine is 100% definitely going to die
  • Jumping-on points
  • Current X-books
  • Jubilee

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

 

As Mentioned in Episode 15 – The Ballad of Harvey and Janet

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Angelica of the D’Urbervilles.
Starting July 31, new episodes of Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men will be available every Thursday at Comics Alliance! We’ll also continue to release them every Sunday–along with the visual companion–at our site, as well as iTunes, and Stitcher, ; but if you want to be the first kid on the block to hear ’em, head to ComicsAlliance.com on Thursdays!
Meanwhile, want to help support the podcast–and get additional content and cool swag? Please take a minute to check out our Patreon campaign! We’ve got some very cool rewards, but the best part–we think–are the Milestone goals, which are sort of like the X-Men team-up moves of Patreon: giant-size annuals, written posts, original art, a print zine, and more!
“What wardrobe?” “My point exactly.” (X-Men #148)
Lee Forrester: The Best Ever. (X-Men #148)
Good luck with that, buddy. (X-Men #148)
“No, but you’ll be a sorcerer with your own Hell dimension! Won’t that be nice?” (X-Men #148)
Hi, Siryn! (X-Men #148)
Caliban and the Morlocks: Introducing the concept of passing privilege to the mutant metaphor. (X-Men #148)
last-page-of-the-issue Magneto reveals are the gift that keeps on giving. (X-Men #148)
Professor Xavier, doing our job for us. (X-Men #149)
KITTY PRYDE, YOU ARE DELIGHTFUL. (X-Men #149)
Prydeslaught, by Logan Bonner: Professor X’s unchecked rage, plus the id of a 13-year-old Kitty Pryde. We dearly wish this were canon.
Let us never speak of this again. (X-Men #149)
Still kinda bummed we didn’t make more Ann Veal jokes about this guy. “Who?” (X-Men #149)
Even his villain speech is kinda forgettable, but we will take literally any excuse to post more pictures of Kitty’s amazing outfit, so. (X-Men #149)
Phaseball Special! (X-Men #149)
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA(X-Men #149)
We appreciate how obviously Lee is trying not to laugh in this panel. (X-Men #149)
There’s… a lot going on on that cover. (X-Men #150)
Magneto’s dastardly plan is basically peaceful nuclear disarmament. (X-Men #150)
Dr. Peter Corbeau: That one NPC your DM clearly rolled up as a PC in another campaign but never got to play so instead rolled into his campaign as an overcompetent badass. (X-Men #150)
The Voyage of the Mimi was an educational show, featuring a very young Ben Affleck and an ungodly earworm of a theme song. We both watched a lot of it in middle school science classes.
Wolverine with wet hair. You’re welcome. (X-Men #150)
“Also, man, he’s got killer abs.” (X-Men #150)
If there were an X-Men drinking game, “Dark City-style brain-ray psychic duel” would definitely be on the list. (X-Men #150)
Magneto: Now available with nuance and additional backstory! (Asteroid base sold separately.) (X-Men #150)
Having taken over Storm’s body, Emma Frost celebrates by, um, quoting King Lear. (X-Men #151)
HARVEY AND JANET, WE LOVE YOU. (X-Men #151)
This week in Scenes Only Chris Claremont Could Have Written: A giant robot busting through a ceiling and telling the shocked people inside, “Fear not! All will be revealed in due course!” (X-Men #151)
HARVEY AND JANET FOREVER! (X-Men #151)
Note the Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends ad at the top! (X-Men #152)
Wolverine has a progressive attitude about transhumanism. (X-Men #152)
Well done, Wolverine. (X-Men #152)
How X-Men #137 could net you $2500. (Thanks to Carl Horn for finding this for us!)

15 – The Ballad of Harvey and Janet

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In which we announce exciting new developments, the ASPCA should probably have a word with Emma Frost, Kitty Pryde gets a new costume, Lee Forrester is still the best, Cyclops has an octopus on his chest, Magneto has a change of heart, and Wolverine embraces transhumanism.

X-Plained:

  • The Thomas Hardy novel of superhero comics
  • Friendship
  • X-Men #148-152
  • Unstable Denim
  • Disco Dinner Clubs
  • Caliban (a little)
  • Kitty Pryde’s amazing fashion sense
  • Garokk the Unremarkable
  • Atlantean couture
  • Why Magneto is Interesting
  • The Massachusetts Academy
  • The Persona Exchange Gun
  • Harvey and Janet
  • How to win $2500 in 1980
  • Editorial Outsourcing

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!