Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: X-Force

228 – Thinkin’ Shorts

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which it still sucks to be a Rasputin; John Romita Jr. has a solid, if muscular, grasp of anatomy; Jay and Miles are better exes than Forge and anyone; and Cannonball’s many younger siblings have almost prepared him for running X-Force.

X-PLAINED:

  • Peters Parker
  • The Merry X-Men Holiday Special
  • Comic book release schedules vs. J&MXPtXM
  • Uncanny X-Men #301-302
  • Trevor F**king Fitzroy, possibly the worst Upstart
  • Comics Code Authority closeting versus real-life closeting
  • 21st Century Torture Devices
  • Risky mood fonts
  • Robert’s Rules of Upstart Order (this week)
  • Gamesmaster vs. the Isolationist
  • Shinobi Shaw: Good At Sex
  • Russian tragedy (more, again)
  • Charles Xavier and his poor decisions
  • Shi’ar tech support
  • Pants and villainy
  • Racist jerks vs. rhetorical questions
  • TIME PARADOX
  • Weirdly specific contingencies
  • Piotr Rasputin and his justified fury
  • X-Force #24
  • Meaningless (but fun!) timestamps
  • The Friends of Humanity (who are not our friends)
  • Rusty and Skids’ latest arrest
  • Disappointed Dad Sam Guthrie
  • Action vs. public perception
  • Vinz Clortho
  • Domino’s continuing quest to figure out what exactly an X-Force is
  • The dramatic return of… well, you know
  • Spacesuit logistics
  • Numerical universe designations
  • Plastic Warlock

NEXT EPISODE: Our Fifth Annual Giant-Size Winter Special!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 221 – Better Than LEGO

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Bella, as seen on FaceTime between rounds of headbutting the phone.
The late, great, immensely fluffy Buzz Lightyear.
What, you thought this whole thing was just gonna be photos of cats? (Sorry) (X-Force #20)
Whoops. (X-Force #20)
That hair, though! Why, Shatterstar? WHY? (X-Force #20)
Those spacesuits look incredibly cumbersome. (X-Force #20)
You never forget your favorite ship. (X-Force #20)
That is a GREAT use of a spread. (X-Force #20)
X-Force really only has the one setting. (X-Force #21)
Aw. AW. (X-Force #21)
AWWWWWWWWW (X-Force #21)
“THE TEETH COMMAND IT!” (X-Force #21)
And that’s why you always leave a note. (X-Force #21)
“The guns were inside you all along!” (X-Force #22)
Well, then. (X-Force #22)
But he looks so happy about it! (X-Force #22)
I was gonna make a callback to that one tangent about how Cable probably carries a bunch of tampons because they are useful and he seems like the kind of dude who has a good attitude about menstruation, but it seemed too forced. (X-Force #22)
This is both excessive and silly, Gideon. (X-Force #22)
“Am I forever damned to eat crackers sideways?!” (X-Force #23)
Look at him! He’s just propped up in the corner! (X-Force #23)
OH, SNAP! (X-Force #23)
I’m still kind of peeved that this isn’t spelled out in Sam’s accent. It just feels wrong like this. (X-Force #23)
NEXT EPISODE: Psylocke vs. Revanche!

LINKS & FURTHER MONSTROSITIES:

221 – Better Than LEGO

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Miles stops worrying and learns to love X-Force; you should absolutely not google the phrase “face jam”; the kids take a field trip to Graymalkin; Jay reverse-engineers Shatterstar’s hair; Donald Pierce gets a new job; Sam Guthrie is the most trustworthy man in the Marvel Universe; Cable is your guns grandma; Professor earns its name; X-Force really only has one setting; and not every Sluggo is lit.

X-PLAINED:

  • A bunch of stuff Quicksilver did
  • Several cats
  • X-Force #20-23
  • The Externals (more) (again)
  • A deeply unlikely hairstyle
  • Graymalkin / Ship / Professor
  • A somewhat one-sided reunion
  • Yahoos
  • Inaccurate arithmetic
  • Why Feral sounds like that
  • Neither Tom, Dick, nor Harry
  • War Machine (James Rhodes)
  • Salvage
  • Sam Guthrie’s long trail of dead father figures
  • Shatterstar
  • How to fight an External
  • The seventh plague
  • What Domino’s been up to
  • Hammer’s mom
  • Tigerstryke (more) (again)
  • Sluggo (but not that Sluggo)
  • Learning to appreciate the ’90s

NEXT EPISODE: Psylocke Vs. Revanche!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 212 – Drumbeats of Despair

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
(Actually, it’s part of a triptych! Here are all three, together at last!)
Damnit, Stryfe. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
Ew. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
Including this entirely for Archangel’s epic grumpy face. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
Alas, the podcast JY & Miles X-Plain the X-Men won’t exist for another 23 years. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
Say what you will about Scott and Jean, but they’re aware of their own cliches. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
Of course. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
The number of unsettling ways in which X-artists can mess up drawing babies never ceases to impress. (Uncanny X-Men #296)
“Also, sorry ’bout your table.” (Uncanny X-Men #296)
“Remember,” said the editor, “Every comic is somebody’s first!” (X-Factor #86)
Seriously, though, that could not get more Patrick Nagel if Patrick Nagel had drawn it. (X-Factor #86)
“AND I’LL BE THE HEAD!” (X-Factor #86)
THIS. PAGE. (X-Factor #86)
No, not particularly. (X-Factor #86)
Seriously: Ew. (X-Factor #86)
“Eh, I got nowhere else to be.” (X-Factor #86)
They’re so enormous and heavily armed! (X-Men #16)
Aw, man, this is a really good heroic moment. (X-Men #16)
WHOOPS. (X-Men #16)
Well, that’s portentous. (X-Men #16)
Stryfe’s tirades remain an impressive mix of incredibly specific and frustratingly vague. (X-Force #18)
Possibly the most Stryfe line of the entire event. (X-Force #18)
Dang, Cable. (X-Force #18)
“Like, organs and stuff.” (X-Force #18)
I’d like to think that Stryfe is angriest about the pun. (X-Force #18)
SPOILER: He’ll be okay, at least by Cable standards. (X-Force #18)
Maybe it’s a universal remote! SERIOUSLY, CYCLOPS, I KNOW YOU WERE RECENTLY DEPRIVED OF OXYGEN, BUT IT’S VERY CLEARLY A DETONATOR. (X-Force #18)
Ouch. (X-Force #18)
NEXT EPISODE: Live from FlameCon, featuring Sina Grace, Magdalene Visaggio, and Leah Williams!

LINKS & FURTHER MISHAPS:

212 – Drumbeats of Despair: X-Cutioner’s Song (Part 3 or 3)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which nobody but Stryfe’s diary understands him; Apocalypse is the best at what he does (and what he does is remarkably versatile); Scott and Jean weaponize their clichés; Jae Lee does his best Patrick Nagel; Apocalypse is poisonous; Cable goes full T-800; nothing good ever happens to Cyclops on the moon; Stryfe dies as passive-aggressively as he lived; and X-Cutioner’s Song finally concludes.

X-PLAINED:

  • How Cable dies
  • The Story So Far
  • Still more trading-card taxonomy
  • Uncanny X-Men #296
  • X-Factor #86
  • X-Men #16
  • X-Force #18
  • An AU we’d like to read
  • The not-Stüssy S
  • How to effectively reference X-Men #137
  • A decoy baby
  • An abortive escape
  • Moon gravity
  • Revelatory vandalism
  • A trip to the moon
  • A probably excessive number of hawk facts
  • Various daring rescues
  • How to kill time in space
  • Cathexes
  • A very fancy moon base
  • The cavalry, kind of
  • Stryfe vs. Cable
  • An X-Cellent epilogue
  • Several Silent Hill 2 references
  • Stryfe’s Legacy
  • Pawnee, Indiana vs. Marvel
  • Sexy high-security prisons of the future

NEXT EPISODE: Live from FlameCon, featuring Sina Grace, Magdalene Visaggio, and Leah Williams!

Special thanks to Matt for the subject of this episode’s cold open; and to the Protomen for use of their cover of “Total Eclipse of the Heart.”

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 211 – A Cornucopia of Mayhem

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Really, though, it was all just a hilarious misunderstanding. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
I’m just gonna let Jubilee caption this one… (Uncanny X-Men #295)
…Yep. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
PSYLOCKE, MURDER IS OCCASIONALLY NOT THE ANSWER. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
This is not actually a lot like child-rearing. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
It is very, very 1992 in here. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
Aw, Sam. You’re a good kid. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
NEXT ISSUE: Three men without inside voices. (Uncanny X-Men #295)
Sure, why not? (X-Factor #85)
Even Apocalypse is horrified by the ramifications of this mess. (X-Factor #85)
Compromise is the heart of teamwork! (X-Factor #85)
I really love both the art in this issue and Dragoness’s design as drawn by Jae Lee. (X-Factor #85)
It’s a metaphor! With robots! Probably! (X-Factor #85)
Awk-ward. (X-Factor #85)
You see what I mean about the DragonQuest thing? (X-Men #15)
Why is Psylocke standing like this mid-fight? Or at all, honestly? A MYSTERY FOR THE AGES. (X-Men #15)
I’m glad that Colossus’s Angst Landscaping has persevered. (X-Men #15)
No, Stryfe. And I think you know that. (X-Men #15)
new body who dis (X-Men #15)
NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU, STRYFE. (X-Force #17)
Oh, that’ll end well. (X-Force #17)
Logan ABSOLUTELY deserved that. (X-Force #17)
Ouch. (X-Force #17)
Objectively, I know that X-Men #137 callbacks are calculated manipulation, BUT THEY ALWAYS WORK ANYWAY. (X-Force #17)
NEXT EPISODE: Man, this is a long event.

LINKS & FURTHER EXPERIMENTS:

211 – A Cornucopia of Mayhem: X-Cutioner’s Song (Part 2 of 3)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Jubilee is underwhelmed by X-Force; Havok and Gambit make weirdly good buddy cops; Department K is a hot vacation destination; Cable is secretly a Coen Brothers protagonist; you can cancel Community but you can never take away Jay’s gratuitous Community references; Rusty goes full cultist; nobody is Stryfe’s real dad; smoking on a space station is a REALLY bad idea; Apocalypse is here to help; and Miles lies at length about music.

X-PLAINED:

  • Kuurth
  • Various Juggernauts
  • The Story So Far
  • More trading-card taxonomy
  • Uncanny X-Men #295
  • X-Factor #85
  • X-Men #15
  • X-Force #17
  • Varyingly hilarious misunderstandings
  • Wire Mothers: Harry Harlow and the Science of Love
  • What happened
  • Good Cop / Sleazy Cop
  • A deal
  • A tragic absence of Draculas
  • The Coen Brothers’ X-Cutioner’s Song
  • Thanksgiving with Cable
  • Miles’s summer camp hijinks
  • Murderbots in space (again)
  • A dubious strategy
  • MLF Redshirts
  • The second time someone force-fed superheroes baby food in space
  • A dropped plot thread
  • Things you shouldn’t do on space stations
  • Additional awkward reunions
  • Whether Stryfe is a Summers
  • The X-Cutioner’s signature karaoke song

NEXT EPISODE: Dang, this event is long.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 210 – The End of Tomorrow

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
What Rogue’s wearing was actually our school uniform back in 1992! (Uncanny X-Men #294)
Scott, you chowderhead. (Uncanny X-Men #294)
Do NOT invite Caliban to your wedding. Or probably to anything. (Uncanny X-Men #294)
You know, sometimes Professor Xavier really isn’t a jerk. (Uncanny X-Men #294)
Professor Xavier is shot in the dark future of Earth-811… (New Mutants #18)
…and in the dark present of Earth-616. (Uncanny X-Men #294)
Kids, your day is not going to get better from here. (Uncanny X-Men #294)
Have we mentioned we love Jae Lee’s art? We love Jae Lee’s art. (X-Factor #84)
At karaoke, Archangel’s voice is just okay, but his performance is 10/10. (X-Factor #84)
I mean, let’s be real – that’s pretty hot. (X-Factor #84)
EVERYBODY FIGHTS EVERYBODY (X-Factor #84)
The X-Men are so good at posing in this era. (X-Factor #84)
“Dear diary: I finally said it! I said the line!” (X-Factor #84)
Man, Andy Kubert could draw someone doing their taxes and it’d look superheroic. (X-Men #14)
Except that time 16 years later when you shoot him in the head, ya doof. (X-Men #14)
Jean Grey: CGC 8.4 Scott Summers: CGC 7.2 (X-Men #14)
Not Rictor’s best pickup line… But also not his worst. (X-Men #14)
Apocalypse, you have got to turn your shower temperature down. That hot water is awful for your skin. (X-Men #14)
That’s a clove cigarette, in case you can’t tell. (X-Men #14)
X-Force: both very sympathetic and very colorful! I miss when badasses wore colors other than black. (X-Force #16)
EVERYBODY FIGHTS EVERYBODY SOME MORE (X-Force #16)
“You see, Piotr, this is how we entered every building back in our X-Factor days!” (X-Force #16)
Mister Sinister: pleased as punch. (X-Force #16)
There’s seriously nothing we can add to this. (X-Force #16)
Best not to dwell. (X-Force #16)
NEXT EPISODE: It is definitely not.

LINKS & FURTHER ADVENTURES:

210 – The End of Tomorrow: X-Cutioner’s Song (Part 1 of 3)

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Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which you may or may not have your own Black Bug Room; FlameCon was in fact every bit as wonderful as we projected (and more); Caliban hates true love; no one will ever be as extra as Mister Sinister; X-Cutioner’s Song is secretly a farce; we achieve Peak Cable; and the quintessential ’90s crossover event begins!

X-PLAINED:

  • The Black Bug Room
  • A good deal of pre-event status quo
  • Uncanny X-Men #294
  • X-Factor #84
  • X-Men #14
  • X-Force #16
  • Trading card taxonomy
  • The opening strains of a crossover event
  • A concert that worked out better in theory than in practice
  • An abduction
  • Several attempted murders
  • A large number of awkward reunions
  • An even larger number of inter-team brawls
  • Two villains pretending to be other villains
  • Cape logistics
  • Peak Cable
  • Many pouches
  • Many guns
  • The origin of Hope Summers
  • Our hopes for mutants in the MCU

NEXT EPISODE: Aw, Stryfe, no.

NOTE: At one point in this episode, Miles said “X-Force” when he actually meant “X-Factor.” If you can tell us where, you win the prize of eternal smugness (not as much smugness as Sinister, but still a lot).

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 205 – Back to Basics

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Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Okay, but seriously, he could have gotten that cape anywhere. (X-Force #11)
Early Deadpool was just kind of a jerk. (X-Force #11)
In which Garrison Kane and all of his teeth are watching you poop. (X-Force #11)
The best thing about this is that Rictor’s shirt changes color from green to read between issues, and I have decided that it is DEFINITELY Hypercolor(TM). (X-Force #11)
Hi, Crule. (X-Force #12)
Somewhere, Flash Gordon is very confused and very naked. (X-Force #12)
Just posting this for Rictor’s outfit, which really only gets more remarkable with every drawing. (X-Force #12)
If I were a better person, I might have pasted this together with the other half of the four-page spread… (X-Force #13)
…but, alas, I’m not. (X-Force #13)
Thaaaaaat’s our Cable! (X-Force #13)
Yeahno. (X-Force #13)
I really like the way Shoemaker draws battle-damaged Cable. (X-Force #14)
MY FEELINGS (X-Force #14)
Awk-ward. (X-Force #14)
Spoiler: FRIENDSHIP WINS. (X-Force #15)
And he would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn’t been for you meddling kids! (X-Force #15)
NEXT EPISODE: Fire, life, and backstory!

LINKS:

  • You can learn all about Garrison Kane in Episode 195 – Johnny Got His Robot Arm.
  • Should you find yourself in Brussels, Jay recommends Utopia for all your superhero comics needs.
  • Mitchell is a terrible movie but a very good episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000; which latter you can watch here.