Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: vampires

As Mentioned in Episode 438 – The Man of Harsh Business

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The confident sneer of a man with a shillelagh. (Uncanny X-Men #361)
Wolverine, vigilante relationship counselor. (Uncanny X-Men #361)
A Juggernaut diminished. (Uncanny X-Men #361)
Dude’s got his flaws, but Gambit really knows how to make an entrance! (Uncanny X-Men #361)
Shadowcat and Gambit have met before, but never so close to whatever’s in Juggernaut’s pants. (Uncanny X-Men #361)
“I especially don’t want anyone to see my impressive collection of Jonathan Taylor Thomas calendars!” (Uncanny X-Men #361)
The X-Men have their best conversations while fighting ninjas or ninja equivalents. (Uncanny X-Men #361)
Jack of Queen of Hearts Death! (Uncanny X-Men #361)
Comedy gold. (X-Men #81)
I’ve missed this dynamic. (X-Men #81)
It’s so easy to follow the motion of this fight even through still images… Pay attention, every modern action director! (X-Men #81)
The three words every woman longs to hear: “I hurrk hkk”. (X-Men #81)
Hairy hugs! (Wolverine: Black Rio)
THE MAN OF HARSH BUSINESS (Wolverine: Black Rio)
My only complaint with this panel is that the sound effect should actually be SHAAARK (Wolverine: Black Rio)
Logan knows how to party! (Wolverine: Black Rio)
Logan continues to know how to party! (Wolverine: Black Rio)
I have questions. (Wolverine: Black Rio)
To this, we can only say: huh. (Wolverine: Black Rio)
“Sorry I didn’t get here sooner. This thing has, like, a lot of zippers.” (Wolverine: Black Rio)
The road goes Wolver on and on. (Wolverine: Black Rio)
NEXT EPISODE: The Hunt for Xavier begins!

438 – The Man of Harsh Business

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In which Gambit knows how to make an entrance; Rogue and Gambit only have relationship conversations during superhero fights; Wolverine fights a shark; and we have opinions on how to handle certain aspects of backstory.

X-PLAINED:

  • One way to take over Madripoor
  • Uncanny X-Men #361
  • X-Men #81
  • Wolverine: Black Rio
  • The X-Men’s rapid slide back to the status quo
  • Steve Comicraft
  • The fork of loneliness
  • Cyttorak (again)
  • Black Tom Cassidy (again)
  • Peacocks
  • Sarasota Jungle Gardens
  • What’s sticking out of Juggernaut’s pants
  • Favorite versions of the Danger Room
  • Floriography
  • Kali (kind of)
  • Mary Purcell (a bit)
  • Rio Carnival
  • An outfit
  • Detective Antonio Vargas and his mustache
  • Saint Cyrus Leviticus
  • Ezra
  • Comparing mutant and Inhuman culture
  • Demonic homage

NEXT EPISODE: The Hunt for Xavier begins!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 346 – Romancing the Gehenna Stone

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Darts with Patch. (Wolverine #11)
Burt Corrigan, at his driest. (Wolverine #11)
Now THAT’S how you arrive at court. (Wolverine #11)
I would argue that Burt is MORE competent than most of the people around him, and also more vampire-aware. (Wolverine #11)
He’s the best at what he does, and what he does makes for pretty fun splash pages. (Wolverine #12)
Dang, man. (Wolverine #12)
So, that happened. (Wolverine #13)
Good times, good times. (Wolverine #13)
THE PRECIOUS! (Wolverine #13)
AGAIN: NOBODY IN THIS COMIC CAN FLY. (Wolverine #14)
Two corner-box Wolverines are better than one! (Wolverine #15)
Aw, Burt. (Wolverine #15)
The Hand of God, everybody! (Wolverine #15)
Hell, yeah, you are. (Wolverine #15)
NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk
NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught!

346 – Romancing the Gehenna Stone

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we continue to avoid Onslaught with a jaunt over to the Wolverine solo series; Logan is terrible at both being a loner and secret identities; fake vampires are fundamentally hilarious; and Burt Corrigan is the hero we need.

X-PLAINED

  • Hyperstorm (kinda)
  • Wolverine #11-16
  • A very full week
  • What Wolverine has been up to
  • Madripoor
  • Several supporting cast members
  • “Patch”
  • Archie Corrigan
  • Burt Corrigan
  • Several things to do in San Francisco
  • Vampire humor
  • Ba’al
  • The Gehenna Stone
  • Penis bones
  • The Hand of God
  • Doomsday
  • Mutual fratricide
  • A midair brawl
  • Secret identity problems
  • Claw problems
  • Other metals with which one’s skeleton might be bonded
  • Bisecting Logan
  • Team-ups we’d like to see

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk!

NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught, honestly, we promise.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 153 – Mermaid Parade

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Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!
These two have their moments. (Excalibur #28)
Aw. (Excalibur #28)
“I’m Brian’s significantly more fashion-forward brother.” (Excalibur #28)
…’kay. (Excalibur #28)
Well, then. (Excalibur #28)
I don’t know what you do in fights, but… (Excalibur #28)
Man, these Sweet Valley High novels are getting weird. (Excalibur #28)
The Excalibur #29 wall of shame.
Not every day. Just, y’know, most days. (Excalibur #29)
HEY, KIDS! COMICS! (Excalibur #29)
I just. Wow. (Excalibur #29)
Okay, so, that’s a pretty cool layout.
NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE (Excalibur #29)
Breakfast with Excalibur is aggressively informal. (Excalibur #29)
Alysande “I knew I’d have been better off staying home and drinking” Stuart. (Excalibur #30)
Not mentioning W.H.O. here was kind of a waste. (Excalibur #30)
And then Captain Britain got his ass kicked by the elderly. (Excalibur #30)
Good dog. (Excalibur #30)
These delightful scamps! (Excalibur #30)
[Insert Second Coming joke here.] (Excalibur #31)
I really hope they never stop bringing that up, because it never stops being funny. (Excalibur #31)
Um. Can we… maybe not? (Excalibur #31)
LOOK AT THIS GOOFY TURTLE-LOOKING DUDE (Excalibur #31)
They’re about as effective as they look. (Excalibur #31)
NEXT EPISODE: Talking Iceman with Sina Grace!

153 – Mermaid Parade

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Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!

In which Miles gets an etymology lesson; Nightcrawler is the most dateable guy in the X-Universe; Meggan is basically all the cryptids; Michael Higgins must be stopped; Alistair Stuart is terrible at adulting; we really hope Brian wasn’t too attached to that airplane; and in retrospect, there probably should have been a Spalding Gray joke in there somewhere.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Montesi Formula
  • Excalibur #28-31
  • The Gilded Lady
  • The quintessential post-college experience
  • The word “cooter”
  • Relative gullibility
  • A generally unacceptable issue
  • Loungewear
  • Vampires, kind of
  • Some uncomfortably colonial imagery
  • Krakoa, Jr.
  • The Vega Men
  • The aftermath of Axis
  • Colossus’s probable politics

NEXT EPISODE: Talking Iceman with Sina Grace!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 148 – That’s So Ravens

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Bernard the Poet, you’ve changed! And we’re terrified! (X-Factor #54)
“Warren, be a good boy and you’ll get a prize after the appointment!” (X-Factor #54)
This image really shouldn’t work as well as it does. (X-Factor #54)
It’s a vampire dress! You know, for vampires! (X-Factor #54)
X-Factor in a single panel. (X-Factor #54)
Jeez, devouring people’s souls isn’t enough – you have to be all mean-girls about it too? (X-Factor #56)
The phrase ‘costume drama’ has never been quite so literal. (X-Factor #56)
Miles has never been hospitalized and is pretty sure this right here is just sort of how it goes. (X-Factor #56)
This is basically what that Azrael guy from 90s Batman was hoping to be, right? (X-Factor #56)
“We just got back from our aerobics class and didn’t have time to change. So, what’s up?” (X-Factor #56)
Suddenly, green guys! Nice work, Andy Kubert. (X-Factor #57)
I wish Crimson wore this costume more in this arc. (X-Factor #57)
Accidental bank robbery: one of Jay’s favorite tropes. Also, the whole mirror thing is drawn really nicely. (X-Factor #57)
WELL THAT’S LEGITIMATELY TERRIFYING (X-Factor #57)
“Illusion, Michael.” (X-Factor #57)
“Vampire dress, dilapidated theater, occult trappings – check. Let’s get this LARP night started!” (X-Factor #58)
Surprise, kid! Your mom’s a liar and also kidnapped! (X-Factor #58)
Man, nobody ever invites us to these parties. (X-Factor #58)
So much is happening in this panel! (X-Factor #58)
Charlotte Jones is the hero we need. (X-Factor #58)
Jeez, guys! Knock first! (X-Factor #59)
Charlotte’s mother-in-law is basically the greatest. (X-Factor #59)
“This… this is how parenting works, right?” (X-Factor #59)
God, that last panel. Perfect. (X-Factor #59)
WOOOOO SPRING BREAK (X-Factor #59)
Next time: Old Man Logan.

148 – That’s So Ravens

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Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!

In which Archangel falls in with the LARP crowd; all yuppies are (probably) vampires; Beast is kind of a jerk; there are a lot of reasons to be mad at Forge; and you should totally come hang out with us at ECCC!

X-PLAINED:

  • A peculiar scheme
  • X-Factor #54, 56-59
  • Crimson
  • The Ravens
  • A gallery opening
  • Several varyingly tortured souls
  • Charlotte Jones (more)
  • Archangel vs. Archangel’s wings
  • Ethical reporting
  • An accidental bank robbery
  • The return of a long-lost villain
  • Timmy Jones

NEXT EPISODE: Old Man Logan!

Special thanks to Lillian Cohen-Moore!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 129 – They Don’t Allow Dragons in Here

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Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Lockheed, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore. (Excalibur #12)
Spoiler: this ends exactly the way you’d expect it to. (Excalibur #12)
This guy. (Excalibur #12)
IT’S SUCH A GOOD SIGHT GAG! (Excalibur #12)
Fisticuffs! (Excalibur #12)
This series has the best covers, man. (Excalibur #13)
Swell new threads, Cap! (Excalibur #13)
Princess Kitty, now 100% more bland. (Excalibur #13)
‘Kay. (Excalibur #13)
THIS IS NOT A GOOD FOUNDATION FOR A RELATIONSHIP. Also, I’m pretty sure they’re both, like, fourteen. (Excalibur #13)
Another classic. (Excalibur #14)
I’m not saying he’s not, but… (Excalibur #14)
Whoa, dang. (Excalibur #14)
Oh. THAT guy. (Excalibur #14)
The more you know! (Excalibur #14)
Swell new threads, Meggan! (Excalibur #14)
I always remember Albert being in this scene, which he’s obviously not, because he didn’t exist yet. Go figure. -J (Excalibur #14)
It’s like the dog ending of Silent Hill II, but instead of shibas, you get Chris Claremont and John Byrne. (Excalibur #14)
You tell ’em, Galactus! (Excalibur #14)
Look, we get what you were going for, but, no. (Excalibur #12)
I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. (Excalibur #13)
You can go home now. We’ve hit single greatest panel of Excalibur, ever. (Excalibur #15)
Ah, “the old-fashioned way.” (Excalibur #15)
MEANWHILE… (Excalibur #15)
AND THEN… (Excalibur #15)
Jamie Jaspers is terrifying. (Excalibur #15)
LATER… (Excalibur #15)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (Excalibur #15)
NEXT EPISODE: Killing the X-Men, with Charles Soule!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

129 – They Don’t Allow Dragons in Here (The Cross-Time Caper, Part 1)

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which “Cross-Time Caper” is something of a misnomer; Excalibur is an awful lot of fun to summarize; none of us will ever live up to Oscar Wilde’s expectations; Captain Britain secretly derives his powers from genre; sometimes things turn out to be simple; Kitty Pryde is better at everything than you; manipulation and murder are the new flowers and candy; context may or may not ruin everything; Meggan gets a new outfit; Technet takes Brighton; and some universes are just too silly to survive.

X-PLAINED:

  • Rick Jones, Sidekick Supreme
  • The Cross-Time Caper
  • Excalibur #12-15
  • Three love triangles
  • Jay’s mom’s late iguana
  • Captain Marshall, Lord Champion of the Realm
  • Prince William
  • Butch the ogre
  • Princess Kate
  • Fisticuffs
  • Instant air conditioning, Excalibur-style
  • Bagpipe Vader
  • An anticlimactic solution to a protracted problem
  • Sorcery 101
  • Several profoundly unethical ways to initiate a relationship
  • Arrested Excalibur
  • The Campsite Rule of relationships
  • The logistics and social history of tarring and feathering
  • A protracted parody
  • A very large number and several names for it
  • A theoretical team-up
  • Ultimate Hunger
  • An unidentified comic that is not Ultimate Hunger
  • Some less-than-ideal creative choices
  • A multiversal montage
  • Jamie Braddock (more) (again)
  • A duck
  • The unenviable fate of Doctor Crocodile
  • Pairing mutants with metal genres
  • Inconsistent flight safety measures

NEXT EPISODE: Killing the X-Men, with Charles Soule

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!