Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

506 – The House at the End of the World

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In which Jay remains angry at a font; a person who is obviously Kang the Conqueror is not in fact Kang the Conqueror; the pig men deserve better; and Nightcrawler should never, ever, ever be allowed to attempt grief counseling.

X-PLAINED:

  • Storm/Cable
  • Cable #85-86, 88
  • Cable (more)(again)
  • Earth-4935
  • Mother Askani
  • Irene Merryweather
  • Several cryptic witches
  • Are you as dangerous as you think martial arts training for advanced students
  • Shin
  • An unlikely sound effect
  • The Black Dawn
  • A time catapult
  • An End of Time
  • Earth-805110
  • The House on the Borderline
  • Gaunt
  • One of Esad Ribic’s more entertaining accomplishments
  • A fight
  • One way to weaponize the T-O virus
  • The future past of Rachel Summers
  • Cable’s friendship with Moira MacTaggert
  • Streets of Fire
  • Grief counseling? Sort of? I guess?
  • A very impressive spear
  • Our muppet counterparts

NEXT EPISODE: Two endings!

The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week.

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As Mentioned in Episode 505 – The Amulet of Ass

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Excalibur volume 2! But actually more like Captain Britain volume 2. (Excalibur #1)
Pretty sure we’ve all had that dream. (Excalibur #1)
What a sciencey science machine that is! (Excalibur #1)
You’d think Betsy’s face tattoo would remind Brian of the Crimson Dawn… But honestly, who remembers the Crimson Dawn? (Excalibur #1)
Where’s Waldo? (Or, this being a British story: Where’s Wally?) (Excalibur #1)
Some friend. (Excalibur #1)
Captain UK’s mullet remains sweet. (Excalibur #1)
Hi, Crusader X! (Excalibur #2)
Meggan didn’t get the memo that this was a crotch-first mission. (Excalibur #2)
…as played by Viggo Mortensen. (Excalibur #2)
I do love a good Team Hero pose. (Excalibur #2)
“It’s… probably one of these things on my back… Hang on…” (Excalibur #2)
The Brit-Cave! (Excalibur #2)
Subtlety! (Excalibur #3)
The greatest hero in history, chosen primarily for his… sperm? (Excalibur #3)
“Not, like, literally Excalibur. That thing’s in the next room.” (Excalibur #3)
An evil science machine! (Excalibur #3)
You guys used to be cuter. And less murderous. (Excalibur #3)
Gahhh, this panel is referencing a specific past panel from a specific past comic, but we can’t remember which! (Excalibur #3)
Sword of Omens, grant me sight beyond sight! (Excalibur #3)
Best trope best trope! (Excalibur #4)
Mastermind wields the blade Excalibur! Brian Braddock wields an especially dangerous word balloon! (Excalibur #4)
With the powers of elemental magic, telekinesis, and… sword! (Excalibur #4)
It works way better to sacrifice your queen when your queen is immune to death. (Excalibur #4)
“Hey, I liked my spikes, ya jerk!” (Excalibur #4)
The chamber would be filled with old familiar faces, but they’re all dead. (Excalibur #4)
…and no one ever spoke of this again. (Excalibur #4)
NEXT TIME: Rachel Summers is back!

505 – The Amulet of Ass

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In which Widget takes a heel turn; there is some confusion over sword identification; we appreciate Sir Benedict of the Falls; the Braddock family has a lot going on; and Otherworld changes hands.

X-PLAINED:

  • Names for flying horses
  • Excalibur (2001 miniseries) #1-4
  • Captain Britain (Brian Braddock) (briefly) (again)
  • The Black Knight (Dane Whitman)
  • Darkmoor Research Facility
  • Sword and amulet distribution
  • Strider the Horse
  • Why all the horses of Asgard have Tolkien names
  • Sir Benedict of the Falls and his many axes
  • One way to win a bridge fight
  • Sword pops
  • Several continuity errors
  • Holographic James Braddock
  • The Dad Cave
  • Otherworld eugenecists
  • A coronation
  • A twist
  • Some potential X-Factor lineups
  • Life expectancies of mutants with healing factors

NEXT EPISODE: Cable fights some guys.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 504 – One Day, Four Ways

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Ooh, that Arthur Adams texture. (Generation X #71)
SKA! (Generation X #71)
Steve Pugh: master of body language, even when part of that body is psionic energy. (Generation X #71)
New (new) costumes! (Generation X #71)
That guy hates Animal Magnet. (Generation X #71)
I wish I could look half this cool. (Generation X #71)
Surprise telepathy! (Generation X #71)
And they lived happily ever – DAMMIT JONO (Generation X #71)
Fashion! (Generation X #72)
Note the “Cool shoes” box in the corner. Way better than the “horrible shoes” box just a little off-panel. (Generation X #72)
I’m gonna miss these kids. (Generation X #72)
It’ll be longer than that, Jubes, at least in the US. (Generation X #72)
Kids, amirite? (Generation X #72)
It’s kinda like that one scene from Fury Road… (Generation X #73)
Miles is feeling runner envy. (Generation X #73)
Oh, Sean. (Generation X #73)
I respect a dude who course-corrects. (And I don’t mean the almost-missed exit.) (Generation X #73)
For all your reaction image needs. (Generation X #73)
Not continuity-related, just fun. (Generation X #73)
Now that is how you show an off-panel injury. (Generation X #73)
That idiot brought a car to a finger-fight! (Generation X #73)
Another great cover! (Generation X #74)
“Glad I already pre-spiked this coffee.” (Generation X #74)
Husk in the Husk-Cave. (Generation X #74)
This is what happens when the teacher forgets to say “class dismissed”. (Generation X #74)
Spooooky. (Generation X #74)
Opinions vary on what those marks came from… (Generation X #74)
We don’t get to read it either. (Generation X #74)
NEXT TIME: Fast times in Otherworld!

504 – One Day, Four Ways

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In which Banshee is chronically hapless; the team gets new costumes (again); Chamber is a self-fulfilling prophecy; toddlers will sell you out in a hot minute; Moira MacTaggert is definitively not in; we are frustrated by excessive ambiguity; and it’s not Rashômon, but it’ll do.

X-PLAINED:

  • Banshee post-Generation X
  • Generation X #71-74
  • Interior decorating
  • New costumes (again)
  • Chamber, but a housecat
  • A meet-cute
  • Teen angst
  • Fashion
  • An extremely awkward conversation
  • A brief history of boba in the United States
  • A fracas
  • Fun things to do with extra skin
  • Evolving teacher-student relationships
  • Poor interrogation technique
  • Husk vs. international terrorism, in general
  • Ghosts of the Massachusetts Academy
  • Villains and heroes we think would be neat as the reverse
  • A world in which Peridot of Steven Universe imprinted on X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: Fast times in Otherworld!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 503 – Dream’s Anticlimax

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No, seriously. (Uncanny X-Men #388)
Ouch. (Uncanny X-Men #388)
A nonspecific explosion. (Uncanny X-Men #388)
So large. (Cable #87)
no but seriously how (Cable #87)
Bye, Post. (Cable #87)
One of his teammates has to draw the tattoo on every morning with a sharpie. (Bishop: The Last X-Man #16)
Every time they watch a movie, Wolverine carefully explains to his teammates that it’s not real. (Bishop: The Last X-Man #16)
Mother of the year. (Bishop: The Last X-Man #16)
Now kiss! (X-Men #108)
This is not subtext, although it may be an anagram of subtext. (X-Men #108)
NEXT EPISODE: SKA!

503 – Dream’s Anticlimax

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In which history repeats itself; Senator Kelly prevaricates (and then dies); Magneto keeps the cape on; Mystique does evil science; Post remains irrelevant (and then dies); Pyro saves the day (and then dies); Cable is a large man; Moira MacTaggert does the astral nasty (and then dies); and we really, really, really want to go to Froggy World.

X-PLAINED:

  • Moira MacTaggert’s mutation
  • A dubious plan
  • Evidence that we are in the wrong universe
  • Other crossovers named “Dream’s End”
  • A significant disclaimer
  • Uncanny X-Men #388
  • Cable #87
  • Bishop: The Last X-Men #16
  • X-Men #108
  • A surprise presidential platform
  • Sir Gordon Phillips and his guests
  • The new Brotherhood of Mutants
  • Cable’s hair
  • A lot of movie allusions
  • An ambiguous explosion
  • A deeply pointless retcon
  • An illusion
  • Cable’s psimitar
  • Pyro’s last stand
  • Dickalogue
  • Astral sex
  • The (apparent) death of Moira MacTaggert
  • A weird bonding moment in a cemetery
  • How to identify a time traveler
  • The (actual) death of Senator Robert Kelly
  • Mutant-free parts of the Marvel Universe
  • Froggy World

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 502 – Milkshakes of Despair

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Alternately, maybe don’t date Ego the Living Planet. (Gambit #23)
Ma’am you are wearing all neon (Gambit #23)
“…the Terran name that has been given to my uniform: Carl!” (Gambit #23)
Lip massage. (X-Men #107)
Rogue knows how to turn a bad day into a good day. (X-Men #107)
TBH, same, Rogue. (X-Men #107)
It’s cool; he’s into it. (X-Men #107)
Welcome back, Bishop! (X-Men #107)
There’s something going on with Colossus’s arms that I don’t entirely understand. (X-Men Unlimited #29)
okay but by this token HALF THE EARTH HAS BEEN ENTIRELY DESTROYED and i am pretty sure this is not addressed post-event (X-Men Unlimited #29)
I know this is a really serious moment; but also, oh, my. (X-Men Unlimited #29)
I find this panel very funny. That’s all. (X-Men Unlimited #29)
NEXT EPISODE: Dream’s rather anticlimactic end!

502 – Milkshakes of Despair (Maximum Security, Part 2 of 2)

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In which t’ieves and assassins dress to impress; Bishop returns; Rogue and Carol Danvers have a moment; and the revolution will be stored on compact disc.

X-PLAINED:

  • The New Son
  • The First Half of Maximum Security
  • Gambit #23
  • X-Men #107
  • X-Men Unlimited #29
  • Maximum Security #3 (briefly)
  • Several of Gambit’s buddies
  • How to dress for… stealth? I guess?
  • Heth’sa of the planet Culth
  • Where Carl the X-Cutioner got his silly outfit
  • A heist
  • How to restore your lost honor without messing up the timeline
  • 12-18 milkshakes
  • What Colossus is into these days
  • Vampire clowns (maybe)
  • Z’Cann
  • The Blood Brothers
  • Vibes memories
  • A big fight
  • A touching moment of touching
  • Mechamage, briefly
  • Quasar, superficially
  • Cadre K
  • The Skrull cows
  • Writing for the trade vs. podcast pacing
  • Limits of power-cancelling accessories

NEXT EPISODE: Dream’s Rather Anticlimactic End!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 501 – A Bag of Cloacae (Maximum Security, Part 1 of 2)

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Now that we look at them again, the D’Bari were really more Asparagus People than Broccoli People. (Uncanny X-Men #387)
What’s wrong with this picture? (Uncanny X-Men #387)
…I mean, Corsair does make some good points. (Uncanny X-Men #387)
In honor of Cerise: lip massage time! (Uncanny X-Men #387)
“C’mon, mess with us – make our day!!” (Uncanny X-Men #387)
Hey, it’s a Darkmantle! And also yet another instance of a character getting swallowed and slimed! (Uncanny X-Men #387)
That panel reference, though. (Uncanny X-Men #387)
In which Max Power discovers raves. (Iron Man #35)
In which Max Power improves raves. (Iron Man #35)
It’s magic dirt. (Iron Man #35)
What I love is that this scene implies that the spore of Ego the Living Planet has a detailed understanding of retro-idyllic middle America. (Iron Man #35)
PORCH GUY MOUTH (Iron Man #35)
Ego, the Living Town. (Iron Man #35)
Babies always look cuter to their parents than to anyone else. (Iron Man #35)
Welcome back, Bishop! (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)
He’s about to say “Micro Machines.” He’s missed them in his time away. (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)
I don’t know how to say this, man, but I don’t think your girlfriend is good for you. (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)
“If you’d like to know more, son, just listen to Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men episodes 387 through 500.” (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)
“And your nose.” (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)
Man, I missed this guy. (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)
I feel like Deathbird played the “I’m not touching you” game a lot as a kid. (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)
Aww, these two. (Bishop the Last X-Man #15)
NEXT TIME: Maximum Security concludes!