Miles

As Mentioned in Episode 499 – Light Me, Boy!

September 14, 2025 Miles Leave a comment

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We just want them to be happy! (X-Force #110)

That Jorge Lucas sure can draw. (X-Force #110)

GUN ARMS GUN ARMS (X-Force #110)

“The dishes… are done.” (X-Force #110)

“I mean, I’m going to space to get married and have a kid eventually, but not, like, yet.” (X-Force #110)

Next up is the PowerPoint presentation. (X-Force #110)

That shirt is held together by the sheer power of the Comics Code Authority. (X-Force #111)

X-FOOOOORRRRRCCCEEE (X-Force #111)

I guess they take after their dad? Kind of? (X-Force #111)

Deep (cerebral) tissue massage. (X-Force #111)

Listen, Valentina, the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb! And I guess the green liquid in those lady-tubes is maybe somewhere in between! (X-Force #111)

In which the link between SHIELD and OSI from The Venture Bros is even more obvious than usual. I think it’s the inking. (X-Force #112)

Timely… (X-Force #112)

Racal x-plains his extremely belated remorse. (X-Force #112)

I guess those lava lamp babies actually had it kind of good. (X-Force #112)

X-Force has always been a subtle book. (X-Force #113)

Yep. Subtle. (X-Force #113)

Half a world away, Cable smiles and doesn’t know why. (X-Force #113)

Awesome x4 (X-Force #113)

Striptease speedrun! (X-Force #113)

NEXT TIME: Somehow we’ve made 500 of these?!

Jay’s X-Major Arcana

0 Fool – Wolverine (Logan)
1 Magician – Forge
2 High Priestess – Storm
3 Empress – Emma Frost
4 Emperor – Cyclops
5 Hierophant – Charles Xavier
6 Lovers – Gambit and Rogue
7 Chariot – Magneto
8 Justice – Bishop
9 Hermit – Mystique
10 Wheel of Fortune – Destiny
11 Strength – Mirage with Wolfsbane
12 Hanged Man – Havok (alt. Iceman)
13 Death – Archangel
14 Temperance – Nightcrawler
15 Devil – Sebastian Shaw
16 Tower – Quentin Quire
17 Star – Hope
18 Moon – Magik
19 Sun – Shadowcat
20 Judgement – Phoenix
21 World – Krakoa

As Mentioned in Episode 498 – Home Depot Ossuary

September 14, 2025 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

The Twisted Sisters: “Never heard of ’em.” (X-Men #105)

Torque. Pretty sure that’s not the Invisible Woman in there. (X-Men #105)

Dun dun dun dun dun, Inspector Coil (X-Men #105)

More Logan backstory! MORE! (X-Men #105)

Does Nightcrawler teleport out of his clothes at the end of the day? (X-Men #105)

Psylocke should have worn her unstable cocktail dress. (X-Men #105)

A building sealed with the impenetrable perfection of boards. (X-Men #106)

I submit that if the Neo losing their powers for a few weeks could do this, there maaaaaay have been some flaws with their civilization. (X-Men #106)

Rogue PTUIs for us all. (X-Men #106)

Comics! (X-Men #106)

Just like DARE told us! (X-Men #106)

Hi, new Super Sabre and Crimson Commando! Bye, new Super Saber and Crimson Commando! (X-Men #106)

Behold, the effects of X-Men Forever! (X-Men #106)

Rogue, super spy. (X-Men #106)

Problem solved! (X-Men #106)

Hey, it’s that one scene from the X-Men Evolution intro that’s also that one scene from Buffy the Vampire Slayer! (Uncanny X-Men #386)

“I’ve kissed the lips that kissed you!” (Uncanny X-Men #386)

Thanks for breaking the tension, Paolo. (Uncanny X-Men #386)

WHEEEEE (Uncanny X-Men #386)

See? Not so judgey of Lee Forrester now, are we? (Uncanny X-Men #386)

NEXT TIME: X-Force versus monsters! Again!

As Mentioned in Episode 497 – Stranger Things

August 24, 2025 Miles 2 comments

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Astra: shows up for two pages, is a hilarious jerk, refuses to elaborate, leaves. (X-Men Forever #4)

Seriously, there’s a name for the linked-circles-phone-call-thing, right? (X-Men Forever #4)

Getcher Lava Lamp Babies! Three fer the price o’ two! (X-Men Forever #4)

Science is making me feel uncomfortable… (X-Men Forever #4)

Anyway, here’s the history of literally everything. (X-Men Forever #4)

In the future, we will all look more like we do in the movies! (X-Men Forever #5)

Oof, right in the bobbies. (X-Men Forever #5)

It’s Jean’s alternate-alternate-future daughter! (X-Men Forever #5)

“I could defeat you with a single twitch of my left mustache.” (X-Men Forever #6)

“How do I get out of this conversation gaaahhhh he just keeps talking I do NOT want to hear any more about cryptocurrency” (X-Men Forever #6)

In which the art reaches for the stars. (X-Men Forever #6)

A day in the life of an information technology professional. (X-Men Forever #6)

Toad 2.0! Or like, 7.0 if you count all the inconsistencies in his past depictions. (X-Men Forever #6)

Mystique 2.0! But if the first X-Men movie crossed over with Tron. (X-Men Forever #6)

In case you’re wondering, the Stranger’s mustache was already like that even before he got punched in the nose. (X-Men Forever #6)

Toad, as is often the case, has learned nothing. (X-Men Forever #6)

Next time: X-Force gets even more x-treme!

As Mentioned in Episode 496 – Time After Time

August 24, 2025 Miles Leave a comment

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A motley crew if we ever did see one! (X-Men Forever #1)

Say hello to our favorite ancient and benevolent hood ornament, Prosh! (X-Men Forever #1)

Prosh makes some friends. (X-Men Forever #1)

Remember this guy? No? You’re not familiar with Classic X-Men backup stories? Then… good luck. (X-Men Forever #1)

I am trading in my car right now. (X-Men Forever #1)

Prosh x-plains… pretty much everything. (X-Men Forever #1)

Raven Darkholme, making the hard choices. (X-Men Forever #2)

Judgment War reference! Alert! We have a Judgment War reference! (X-Men Forever #2)

If looks could kill… Half the population of Earth would be dead. (X-Men Forever #2)

Legion x-plains the Age of Apocalypse. (X-Men Forever #2)

Fast Travel Mode is weird. (X-Men Forever #2)

This is a very Marvel Comics moment. (X-Men Forever #3)

Things probably don’t get more complicated than this, right? (X-Men Forever #3)

The Snowman Era! (X-Men Forever #3)

Silver Age gotta Silver Age. (X-Men Forever #3)

NEXT TIME: Things do get more complicated.

As Mentioned in Episode 494 – You’ve Got Evil Mail

July 29, 2025 Miles Leave a comment

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Is Thunderbird cosplaying Colossus? (X-Men Unlimited #27)

Meet Neal Shaara! Or sometimes Neal Sharra, depending on who’s writing! (X-Men Unlimited #27)

In which Karima Shapandar literally jump-kicks her way into the issue. (See also the 1977 kung fu film The Invincible Armour.) (X-Men Unlimited #27)

And you haven’t even met Maggott yet! (X-Men Unlimited #27)

embarrassed_werewolf sounds like part of an auto-generated Reddit username. (X-Men Unlimited #27)

“Crap, instead of zapping them with the Robot Servant Ray, we zapped them with the Main Character Ray!” (X-Men Unlimited #27)

Aww, Sanjit. (X-Men Unlimited #27)

Hope you survive the experience! (X-Men Unlimited #27)

Check out Gambit’s sideways-Legion hair! And Beast’s Banshee disguise! (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Darkstar speaks for us all. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

This ain’t Beast’s first brainwashing rodeo. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Listen, the Darkforce is just cool, okay? (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Dis not what Gambit had in mind. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

More like the Golden Death, really. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Darkstar’s face is the same as Miles’s when he first discovered Cloud/Sephiroth slash almost 30 years ago. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

“No, my only weaknesses – rain and tasers!” (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Technology safety tip: if you get a suspicious email, blow up your computer! (X-Men Annual 2000)

Adorable downtime! (X-Men Annual 2000)

I love these goofballs so much. (X-Men Annual 2000)

Rogue learned a lot of things during her time with Magneto, like: if you have a problem, throw it into space. (X-Men Annual 2000)

The focused totality of her cutting your goddamn head off. (X-Men Annual 2000)

Everyone just looks really cool here. That’s the only significance. (X-Men Annual 2000)

GUN ARRRRRRMMMSSSSS (X-Men Annual 2000)

That’s some Claremont dialogue, alright (complimentary). (X-Men Annual 2000)

I guess that’s why Stryfe’s not too concerned with peripheral vision. Explains the helmet. (X-Men Annual 2000)

NEXT TIME: The Goth!

XplaintheXmen Live in Washington DC!

May 31, 2025 Miles 3 comments

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Join us for an X-beginner-friendly, mutant-metaphor-focused, live episode of Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men: presented by LC-GLOBE, the LGBTQ+ organization of employees of the Library of Congress!

When: 6:00 PM on Friday 06/06/25

Where: The Mumford Room (LM-649) in the James Madison Building of the Library of Congress in Washington, DC

If you’d like to join the staff in attending, you’d be very welcome – to reserve seats, please email us so we can get a headcount and make sure you’re on the list. Hope to see you there!

As Mentioned in Episode 488 – There Goes the Moon (Mutant X May, Part 3)

May 31, 2025 Miles Leave a comment

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Color-coded Horsemen of Apocalypse! (Mutant X #19)

What’s the magic word? (Mutant X #19)

Someone let that flying aerobics instructor in! The rain is going to wreck her hair! (Mutant X #20)

That A on his belt stands for Ally! (Mutant X #20)

Note that Charles Xavier’s Evil Mullet is never seen outside of these two panels. (Mutant X #21)

Not a bad riff on the Phoenix costume, honestly. (Mutant X #21)

And then Professor X turned into Doctor Fate. (Mutant X #22)

“That’s right, my friends! We must strike Galactus with every color of the traffic light!” (Mutant X #22)

You ever have a dream where someone is mean to you and then you’re still mad at them when you see them in real life? (Mutant X #23)

Behold! Bargain-basement X-Man, with bonus moppets! (Mutant X #23)

Just a hell of a cover. (Mutant X #24)

Why would you put a portal to the Negative Zone in the goddamn FLOOR?! At least put up a guard rail or something! I’m calling OSHA! (Mutant X #24)

Spoiler: they all just go to a bar. (Mutant X #25)

Flowers for Beast-gernon. (Yes, yes, we know Algernon is the mouse.) (Mutant X #25)

ah jeez (Mutant X #25)

It’s cool, Bloodstorm. We’ve all been there. (Mutant X #26)

The Marauders! (Mutant X #26)

Meet Dagger. And also sorta Cloak. (Mutant X #27)

Awwwwww (Mutant X #27)

Okay, that kid is way too chill. (Mutant X #28)

That’s way better than Evil Xavier’s mullet! (Mutant X #29)

Why, it’s the brand new Sabre-Roaster 3000, as seen on TV! (Mutant X #29)

Plus Iron Giant Man, but he’s too big for this panel! (Mutant X #30)

(This caption intentionally left blank) (Mutant X #31)

After this, they blow up the moon! (Mutant X #31)

The Beyonder x-plains Mutant X! And also eats Captain America. (Mutant X Annual 2001)

It’s really hard to pick a favorite! (Mutant X Annual 2001)

Benjamin E. Yonder, you put the population of New York City down right now! (Mutant X Annual 2001)

Well, I would have said “WHAT?!” (Mutant X #32)

Dracula dies not with a bang, but with a PFFFT. (Mutant X #32)

*sniffle* (Mutant X #32)

Goodbye, Earth-1298. It’s been a hell of a ride. (Mutant X #32)

NEXT TIME: Black ops in black leather!

As Mentioned in Episode 487 – The Only Well-Adjusted Cyclops in the Multiverse (Mutant X May, Part 2)

May 18, 2025 Miles Leave a comment

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…the 2025 story. (Mutant X #9)

The Morlocks! (Mutant X #9)

A damned fine Magneto indeed. (Mutant X #9)

Polaris from X-Factor meets Terra from Final Fantasy VI. (Mutant X #10)

Nightcrawler-1298 can buckle our swashes anytime. (Mutant X #10)

The rest of the X-Men! (Mutant X #10)

The weather is wild today. (Mutant X #11)

I think this might be a big deal, you guys. (Mutant X #12)

Drama! (Mutant X #12)

The Goblin Queen falls. (Mutant X #12)

The secondary theme of Mutant X is the relationship between Ororo Munroe and rodents. (Mutant X #13)

Someone missed the memo about Diaphanous Romper Fridays. (Mutant X #13)

Ninja versus vampire: a tale as old as time. (Mutant X #13)

The most well-adjusted Cyclops in the Multiverse (and friends)! (Mutant X #14)

Bros! (Mutant X #14)

Meet Katherine Pryde, Black Queen of the Hellfire Club; Sebastian Shaw in an iron lung; palette-swapped Captain America; and Sunfire! (Mutant X #15)

De T’ieves Guild. (Mutant X #16)

A thief and a t’ief. (Mutant X Annual 2000)

“Dear Diary, only you understand me.” (Mutant X Annual 2000)

The origin of Gampire/Vambit. (Mutant X Annual 2000)

That first panel is just adorable. (Mutant X Annual 2000)

What a great guy, that Cap! Hope he doesn’t blow up the moon or anything later. (Mutant X #17)

And again: bros! (Mutant X #17)

Seems fine. (Mutant X #18)

Hey, that’s our podcast’s schtick! No swiping! (Mutant X #18)

NEXT TIME: The end of Mutant X May!

As Mentioned in Episode 485 – The House of Correction

April 30, 2025 Miles Leave a comment

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Being the boss means you get the yellow pouches! (Generation X #63)

Teenagers! (Generation X #63)

The new and… improved… Emma Frost. (Generation X #63)

DEAR GOD THOSE PANTS (Generation X #63)

Remember, this issue came out before we knew what happened to Synch… (Generation X #63)

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE (Generation X #64)

Fashion? (Generation X #64)

Fashion! (Generation X #64)

Jubilee, you are the worstbest. (Generation X #64)

The most dangerous game! (Generation X #64)

Super-speed, part one! (Generation X #65)

Super-speed, part two! (Generation X #65)

I see no flaws with this plan. (Generation X #65)

We have our complaints about this era, but… man, it can just be so charming! (Generation X #65)

I have so many questions, and yet I do not want them answered. (Generation X #66)

Miles just saw Eraserhead at a David Lynch retrospective, and you know that mix of revulsion and pity you feel toward the baby in that movie? …yeah. (Generation X #66)

Banshee, you rule and we’re sorry everyone always forgets you exist. (Generation X #66)

An only slightly less abrupt ending than that of X-Factor #149. (Generation X #66)

NEXT TIME: Yes, really.

As Mentioned in Episode 484 – Hell Tuba

April 20, 2025 Miles 2 comments

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A miniseries based on a miniseries! (X-Men: Magik #1)

What are we looking at? Not sure. Is it rad? Definitely. (X-Men: Magik #1)

To paraphrase: it doesn’t have to be practical if it’s AWESOME. (X-Men: Magik #1)

Not the most efficient way to blow up a bunch of Teslas, but certainly stylish. (X-Men: Magik #1)

Only one of them got the note about the dress code. But which? (X-Men: Magik #1)

The Battle for Hell’s Deep. (X-Men: Magik #1)

So, like, what if the sky broke and then cut off your goddamned head, is my question (X-Men: Magik #2)

Everyone’s outfits are very long. (X-Men: Magik #2)

Did we mention that this series is in a hell dimension? (X-Men: Magik #2)

(Pushes up Norse glasses:) Technically, Surtur’s sword Twilight would only be on fire if he’d entered Asgard upon the day of Ragnarök, and… (X-Men: Magik #2)