Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: beast

As Mentioned in Episode 275 – End of the Summer

One comment

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
HI, PROSH. (X-Force #39)
Look at this charming weirdo. (X-Force #39)
You see what I mean about the frolicking? (X-Force #39)
Damn skippy! (X-Force #39)
Well, that can’t be good. (X-Force #39)
I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING (X-Force #39)
This whole issue has a very Looney Toons vibe. (X-Factor #107)
It’s good that they can find common ground. (X-Factor #107)
Gravity: she’s a harsh mistress. (X-Factor #107)
Again: I really love the way the art here leans into Strong Guy’s inherent cartoonishness. (X-Factor #107)
Ouch. (X-Factor #107)
That cover! (Uncanny X-Men #318)
The choker really does seem to have an extra layer of symbolism, especially considering the color vs. the rest of her outfit. (Uncanny X-Men #318)
You tried, buddy. (Uncanny X-Men #318)
Serious X-Terminators vibes, right? (Uncanny X-Men #318)
“But, y’know, good luck with that.” (Uncanny X-Men #318)
She’s not wrong, Warren. (Uncanny X-Men #318)
…it works, though. (Uncanny X-Men #318)
NEXT EPISODE: The Soul Sword Trilogy!

LINKS & FURTHER CRYPTIDS:

275 – End of the Summer

9 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Professor is too cool for the Phalanx; fatphobia is significantly more dangerous than Fred Dukes; Strong Guy catches a plane; Emma Frost will not let you coast; Jubilee says goodbye to the X-Men; and it’s probably for the best that we have avoided corporate advertisers.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mr. M
  • Thor: Metal Gods
  • Ship (more) (again)
  • The Phalanx vs. the Borg
  • Several cover homages
  • X-Force #39
  • X-Factor #107
  • Uncanny X-Men #318
  • Prosh
  • The myriad delights of embodiment
  • A complex theory about Leprechauns
  • Benefits of single-issue stories
  • Strong Guy vs. the Blob
  • Strong Guy vs. Gravity
  • Strong Guy vs. an airplane
  • Strong Guy vs. biology
  • Several explosions
  • The kids of Generation X
  • Deluxe-format comics
  • The Xavier Institute for Higher Learning
  • Goodbyes
  • Dazzler’s relative immortality
  • Jay’s X-Men Happy Meal Toy wish list
  • How to make a page-accurate Warlock toy

NEXT EPISODE: The Soul Sword Trilogy

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 265 – Rude Awakenings

2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Is anyone else weirded out by the fact that that’s supposed to be Forge in the lower right-hand corner? (X-Men Annual #5)
The Shi’ar sext WEIRD. (X-Men Annual #5)
Professor X was definitely naked, right? (X-Men Annual #5)
The weirdest thing about this panel is that the tractor beam seems to have shrunk her shirt by about half. (X-Men Annual #5)
Professor X X-Plains human-Shi’ar relations. (X-Men Annual #5)
FASHION! (X-Men Annual #5)
Imagine how confusing it must be to run into Jubilee on alien planets. (X-Men Annual #5)
I DID NOT NOTICE THE HANGING TEDDY BEAR UNTIL I CLIPPED THE PANEL FOR THIS VISUAL COMPANION. (X-Men Annual #5)
He’s a hugger. (X-Men Annual #5)
Be fair, Gambit: there are a LOT of reasons Cyclops is never fun at parties. (X-Men #34)
BUT WHO IS LURKING IN THE FOREGROUND? (X-Men #34)
Sinister, moisturize your damn clones. (X-Men #34)
Oh, hey, Threnody! (X-Men #34)
‘Kay. (X-Men #34)
Ewwwwwwww. (X-Men #34)
Please bear in mind that these are costumes S.H.I.E.L.D. just happened to have lying around the Helicarrier. (X-Men #35)
“Also, do you know how hard it was to dress you in skintight neoprene while you were unconscious?” (X-Men #35)
The end of the world looks pretty rad. (X-Men #35)
Some artists definitely made some choices. (X-Men #35)
That’s our Cyclops. (X-Men #35)
Some of the layouts in this issue are really nice. (X-Men #35)
Sunset Grace X-Plains Sunset Grace (and marries Ronald Reagan). (X-Men #35)
Ouch. (X-Men #35)
NEXT EPISODE: Malice!

FURTHER LISTENING

265 – Rude Awakenings

20 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Glen Danzig was the most popular Wolverine fancast for a weirdly long time; breasts have physical mass; the Shi’ar empire is not your friend; Deathbird should not be left in charge of anything alive; Jubilee learns about privilege; Sinister is not subtle; plasma is the new magnetism; Scott and Jean return from the future; and Nick Fury probably sews his name into the waistband of all his underpants.

X-PLAINED:

  • Some guy from Earth-1610
  • X-Men: Unlimited #5
  • X-Men #34-35
  • Shi’ar sexting
  • A rude awakening (literal)
  • Rococo Stryfe
  • Some uncomfortable fashion choices
  • X-pajamas
  • Definitely nude Charles Xavier
  • Breasts
  • Shi’ar imperial bullshit
  • A very impressive headdress
  • Reality TV… in space!
  • A rude awakening (metaphorical)
  • Shi’ar childhood
  • Negotiation
  • A total dick move
  • Another total dick move
  • Beast’s brief tenure as field leader of the X-Men
  • The return of Threnody
  • The titles of several sex tapes
  • High-tech spelunking
  • Sinister’s secret DNA library
  • Controversial outfits
  • Nick Fury’s stuff
  • Sunset Grace
  • The racism inherent to Evan Sabahnur’s background
  • A question we’ve answered before and will probably answer again

NEXT EPISODE: Malice!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 262 – Science Fiction Double Feature

One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
He’s a fun guy. (X-Men #311)
Aw. (X-Men #311)
Uncool, Sabretooth. Uncool. (X-Men #311)
Bishop is rad as hell. (X-Men #311)
See, this is why you should’ve taken her to the movies. (X-Men #311)
Emma’s got a new look. (X-Men #312)
Cool, but not the coolest. (X-Men #313)
No freakin’ kidding. (X-Men #313)
Ah, THAT’S the coolest. (X-Men #313)
Storm is so cool. (X-Men #313)
This club is the worst. (X-Men #311)
The Phalanx, in a small fraction of its glory. (X-Men #312)
They’re very good friends. (X-Men #312)
Gambit is legitimately fairly charming, at least as drawn by Joe Madureira. (X-Men #312)
One of several shovel talks. (X-Men #312)
Oh, snap. (X-Men #312)
Familiar faces, and somewhat less familiar bodies. (X-Men #312)
And then, another shovel talk. (X-Men #312)
NEXT EPISODE: Remember this dude?

The Designing X-Women art isn’t online yet, but when it is, we’ll drop a link here!

262 – Science Fiction Double Feature

14 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the Phalanx would make pretty fun novelty candy; “B-Plot” implies that we only have 26; nobody will take Jubilee to the movies; Repo Man and Repo: The Genetic Opera are in fact two entirely different films; Storm is a fashion icon; Sabretooth is the monster in the basement; it’s really rough to be the kid on the X-Men; Yuko gives Gambit a shovel talk; and a number of familiar faces return to the page.

X-PLAINED:

  • One of the many problems with Sentinels
  • Uncanny X-Men #311-313
  • Whether the Phalanx is squishy
  • Robo-Candy
  • Plotline disambiguation
  • A cult classic
  • Carl the X-Cutioner (again)
  • Creative use of Bishop’s powers
  • Storm fashion
  • Technical difficulties
  • A decision Iceman will come to regret
  • Bishop vs. Sabretooth
  • What If Vol. 2 #87
  • Variations on Iceman’s appearance
  • Early seeds of Generation X
  • A night out with Yukio
  • A heavily euphemized relationship
  • Xavier’s mutant underground
  • The Phalanx
  • A shovel talk
  • The return of Steven Lang (and some other people)
  • How Cyclops cries
  • Cassandra Nova’s signature look

NEXT EPISODE: Additional and Varyingly Literal Blasts from the Past

NOTE: Per our expert source Doctor Internet, what Miles knows as “water weenies” are mostly sold as “water wigglers” or “water snakes.”

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 259 – Kwannon Leap

4 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Does this remind anyone else of the choreography of “Glory” from Pippin? To those two of you now imagining these three soft-shoeing through a battlefield: you’re welcome. (X-Men #31)
Spiral X-Plains a thing or three. (X-Men #31)
The eye fairy left you a present! (X-Men #31)
One of those important relationship talks. (X-Men #31)
“Also, I brought you some eyes.” (X-Men #31)
See what we meant about the alternating forms? (X-Men #31)
While Kwannon’s story leaves a lot to be desired, I’m glad she at least got to die closer to its center. (X-Men #31)
Chekhov’s battle banter! (X-Men #32)
Man, fuck Nyorin. (X-Men #32)
Epitath by Claremont. (X-Men #32)
Someday a very confused student is going to fish those out of the lake. (X-Men #32)
In case you were wondering whether Gambit was cool as a teenager: No. (X-Men #33)
WHY WOULD YOU GIVE SABRETOOTH THIS ABILITY WHY (X-Men #33)
In this house we appreciate Henri LeBeau and Henri LeBeau’s mustache. (X-Men #33)
“So, I’ve been reading Spider-Man…” (X-Men #33)
Obviously not, Gambit, or you’d be in Antarctica right now. (X-Men #33)
NEXT EPISODE: Havok once again fails to complete his dissertation.

LINKS & FURTHER HAWK TALK:

We discussed the first version of Psylocke’s transformation in Episode 137 – Kicky Kinko Killers; and the second, which introduced Kwannon, in Episode 222 – A Tale of Two Betsys.

Night on Earth is a brilliant movie, and also the main source of our Roberto Begnini hipster cred.

If you like your dives deep and granular, we highly recommend Chris and Robert’s dialogic annotations, HoX PoX ToX.

259 – Kwannon Leap

19 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which fix-it fic goes canon (or vice versa); Psylocke is a complicated individual and/or individuals; assassins have complicated personal lives; it is probably ethical to tell your teammates about your camera eyes; Beast takes over Blue Team;  we get our first tease of Generation X; Sabretooth is a surprisingly fun narrator; that Hickman fellow seems to know what he’s doing; and you should totally come see us at FlameCon!

X-PLAINED:

  • X-Men #31-33
  • What Forge does in his downtime
  • Several retcons, including a metaretcon
  • Psylocke (Betsy Braddock)
  • Revanche (Kwannon)
  • What we are not wearing
  • Hawks
  • Digital Chameleon
  • Assassin romance
  • What actually (probably) (mostly) happened to Betsy and Kwannon
  • The Eye Fairy
  • The death of Kwannon
  • The future of the Xavier School
  • The last will and testament of Emma Grace Frost
  • Rogue and Gambit’s breakfast-cereal habits
  • All the eyes you’ve been given
  • Nyorin’s “diary”
  • A murder cliché
  • Genevieve Darceneaux
  • BabyGoth Gambit
  • Henri LeBeau and his majestic mustache
  • Our (very early) thoughts on HoX/PoX

NEXT EPISODE: Havok once again fails to complete his dissertation.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

COME SEE US AT FLAMECON!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 258 – True Believers, Opportunists, and Crooks (feat. Lisa Winters)

Leave a comment

Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Wait, I could have taped my carefully-clipped-out newspaper strips into a book designed especially for that purpose? HAD I BUT KNOWN! (Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda #0)
…although the IKEA box that Jay decoupaged those strips onto does look pretty damned cool.
Newspaper strip motivations only get two or three panels’ worth of complexity. (Spider-Man: the newspaper comic strip)
Hey, it’s a Sunday page! I don’t think my paper got these. (Spider-Man: the newspaper comic strip)
Did… did that guy just have that picket sign with him? Just in case? (Spider-Man: the newspaper comic strip)
Breaking into places is pretty easy, I guess. Time for a life of crime! (Spider-Man: the newspaper comic strip)
Pacing! (Spider-Man: the newspaper comic strip)
Laser cages, surprises, goblin gliders – this one’s got it all! (Spider-Man: the newspaper comic strip)
PUMPKIN BOMB WITH A KNIFE STICKING OUT OF IT FOR PRESIDENT (Spider-Man: the newspaper comic strip)
You know how your skin gets wrinkly if you stay in the tub for too long? (Spider-Man: the newspaper comic strip)
I mean, newspaper comics are fun, but… Backstory! Motivation! Continuity! (Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda #1)
Remember Amazing Adventures volume 2 #11? This miniseries does! (Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda #1)
Hank McCoy: Master of Disguise. (Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda #1)
Moichandising! (Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda #1)
Can’t fit that into a newspaper strip! (Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda #1)
Banter! (Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda #2)
“Basically, we used to party all the time, but then this furry guy broke a wristwatch and everything sucked after that.” (Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda #2)
Prosaic? More like AWESOME! …Admittedly, I say this as someone outside of the cage. (Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda #2)
This scientist only appears on a few pages, but he’s already the best villain in the series. And he doesn’t even have a pumpkin bomb with a knife sticking out of it. (Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda #2)
They tried rolling out a Goblin Glider rental program in Portland, but mostly folks just crashed them into things. (Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda #3)
Uh, Landon, you’ve got something in your teeth – no, to the left – yeah, you got it. (Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda #3)
Dammit, Jason, it’s not even October! (Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda #3)
I love this guy. (Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda #3)
Landon-type Pokemon are weak against Irony-type attacks. (Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda #3)
If you have a 90s Marvel cartoon, you work Wolverine in wherever you can. It’s the law. (Spider-Man: The Animated Series season 2, episode 17, The Mutant Agenda)
Landon’s transformation takes a somewhat different turn on-screen than on the page. (Spider-Man: The Animated Series season 2, episode 18, Mutants’ Revenge)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor mourns and moves on.

258 – True Believers, Opportunists, and Crooks (feat. Lisa Winters)

14 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Lisa Winters pinch-hits for Jay, we take a trip to the newspaper funnies and back, Spider-Man and Beast are natural BFFs, nothing good ever happens at the Brand Corporation, and “mutant” can be a pretty fuzzy concept.

X-PLAINED:

  • Bessie the Hellcow
  • Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda (the newspaper strip storyline)
  • Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda (the comic book miniseries)
  • Spider-Man: Mutant Agenda (the cartoon episodes)
  • Four-color hoards
  • Three-panel newspaper comic structure
  • Sunday strips (and their Mark Trail deceptions)
  • Hero Jaws – a breakfast-based theory
  • Spider-Man (Peter Parker)
  • The Brand Corporation
  • The Beast (Henry McCoy)
  • Narratively convenient Spider Sense
  • Hobgoblin (Jason Macendale Jr.)
  • Goblin gliders
  • Picket signs (*air horn sound*)
  • Finger blasters (heh)
  • Laser cages
  • Arcade’s superpower flowcharts
  • Mutants: newspaper versus comic continuity
  • Coming home to the 90s
  • Lisa’s favorite X-Man
  • Beast’s versatile character design
  • Spider-to-X ratios
  • Dark, tortured heroes
  • Herbert Landon’s selective memory
  • Confirmation bias
  • Anti-mutant cancer goo
  • Ironic reversals
  • Wolverine, the most marketable mutant
  • Evil British accents
  • The most adaptable Spider-Man / X-Men crossovers
  • The X-Men and the newspaper funnies

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor mourns and moves on.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!