Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Fantomex

As Mentioned in Episode 528 – Welcome to the Slippery Slope

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Me, too, Scott. Me, too. (New X-Men #142)
I’m not sure Sabretooth has ever looked cooler than this. (New X-Men #142)
Jake Danial’s. (New X-Men #142)
There are better places to drink than a nine-panel grid, but not many. (New X-Men #142)
Aw, these guys. (New X-Men #142)
Welcome to the World. (New X-Men #143)
I like these weird li’l dudes. Too bad they are extremely doomed. (New X-Men #143)
This looks cool and all, but what I really want to know is why SONY was allowed, but Jack Daniel’s wasn’t. (New X-Men #143)
Cool dudes lookin’ cool. (New X-Men #143)
Wolverine vs. a rail gun. (New X-Men #143)
All car cops are bastards. (New X-Men #144)
Walking all over a time-frozen splash page, as one does. (New X-Men #144)
Meet Weapon XV. (New X-Men #144)
While Wolverine and Fantomex declare war on Weapon Plus, this man is living his own private Silent Hill game. (New X-Men #144)
And there goes Weapon XV. (New X-Men #144)
Weapon Plus HQ is, in its own way, every bit as surreal as the World. (New X-Men #145)
Ugh, Fantomex is so cool. (New X-Men #145)
The plus logo is a really interesting detail. (New X-Men #145)
NEXT EPISODE: Magneto, unmasked!

528 – Welcome to the Slippery Slope

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Illustration by David Wynne

In which friends don’t let friends drink sparkling wine at the Hellfire Club; Cyclops is a Silent Hill protagonist; Fantomex is a cool dude; John Sublime has his grubby little fingers in everything; and three men do a lot of things to avoid going to therapy.

X-PLAINED:

  • What happened to the World
  • Weapon XVI
  • New X-Men #142-145
  • Fantomex (more) (again)
  • The Weapon Plus program
  • A large number of things men will do instead of going to therapy
  • How to murder a nice, romantic mood
  • The Hellfire Club, the rest of the time
  • Jake Danials Whisky
  • A drinking contest
  • The Mysteries of Harris Burdick
  • The World
  • Weapon XV
  • A series of B&Es
  • Advanced Idea Mechanics (A.I.M.)
  • Car cops
  • Weapon XV’s feelings
  • Weapon Plus’s secret space headquarters
  • Education at the Xavier School
  • Gender-swapped superheroes and heirs to superheroes

NEXT EPISODE: Magneto, unmasked!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 525 – Beyond This Death

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Warren, no. (New X-Men #131)
Aw, buddy. (New X-Men #131)
<3 <3 <3 (New X-Men #131)
And then everyone immediately forgot that. (New X-Men #131)
Seriously, dick move, Emma. (New X-Men #131)
I really love this panel. (New X-Men #131)
Meanwhile in Genosha. (New X-Men #132)
The magnetic ghosts. (New X-Men #132)
Ah, man. (New X-Men #132)
The last words of Magneto, for now. (New X-Men #132)
Oh, for fuck’s sake. (New X-Men #133)
Damnit, Xavier. (New X-Men #133)
I love the idea that the Shi’ar’s collective Earth disguise is a bunch of Amish dudes.
Dust’s first (conscious) appearance. (New X-Men #133)
Jumbo Carnation! (New X-Men #134)
Quentin Quire before shit goes down. (New X-Men #134)
Seriously, Hank, uncool. (New X-Men #134)
Slick is gddamn adorable. (New X-Men #134)
Someday I will knit this sweater vest. (New X-Men #134)
NEXT EPISODE: Someday I will also knit this sweater vest.

LINKS & FURTHER ILLUSIONS:

525 – Beyond This Death

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Illustration by David Wynne

In which Warren Kenneth Worthington III is a terrible teacher; we are all Magneto’s children; Sooraya Qadir deserves a better origin story; teenagers have a lot of feelings; and we meet one of the modern age’s most controversial mutants.

X-PLAINED:

  • The destiny of Quentin Quire
  • New X-Men #131-134
  • An underattended funeral
  • How to fly? Kinda? I guess?
  • A kiss
  • A friendship
  • Another bit of ruby quartz marginalia that will never be mentioned again
  • A somewhat ill-founded psychic metaphor
  • Emma Frost’s Dark Phoenix costume
  • Some kind of weird affair
  • Echoes of 9/11/2001
  • Genosha, a year later
  • Ghosts
  • Polaris’s paternity
  • Shocker (the mutant one)
  • The last words of Genosha
  • Islamophobia post 9/11
  • Sooraya Qadir (Dust)
  • An attempted hijacking and the aftermath thereof
  • Some Shi’ar nonsense
  • X-Corporation Mumbai
  • Jumbo Carnation
  • Telepathy class
  • An artist’s interpretation of the fate of mankind if mutants are not driven out, as predicted by Bolivar Trask
  • Accountability
  • Professor X’s weird little paintings
  • X-adjectives
  • Best and worst X-Men with whom to share a psychic rapport

NEXT EPISODE: Quentin Quire’s teen angst bullshit gets a body count!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 524 – House in a House

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Xorn is a junk food guy. (New X-Men #127)
I… I don’t think Snuffy really cares anymore, dude. (New X-Men #127)
The idea of Magneto making all of this up fascinates me. (New X-Men #127)
Aw, Sonny. (New X-Men #127)
This poor kid. (New X-Men #127)
“And life goes on.” (New X-Men #127)
The appropriately ridiculous first appearance of Fantomex. (New X-Men #128)
Fire, life, and silverware incarnate. (New X-Men #128)
SO THAT’S A PROBLEM. (New X-Men #128)
In which Emma sits like a dyed-in-the-wool bisexual. (New X-Men #128)
This silly, silly man. (New X-Men #129)
Corporal Animal. (New X-Men #129)
E.V.A. is so pretty. (New X-Men #129)
We have fun. (New X-Men #129)
Weapon XII. (New X-Men #130)
Absolutely, unquestionably the line of the story. (New X-Men #130)
NEXT EPISODE: A memorial of magnetism.

524 – House in a House

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Illustration by David Wynne

In which Xorn goes out on the town; silverware is morally neutral; Cyclops pursues dubious counsel; the X means ten; and Fantomex is eminently enjoyable.

X-PLAINED:

  • The parentage of Hope Summers
  • New X-Men #127-130
  • Mutant Town
  • A monster who is not a monster but is, perhaps, a metaphor
  • X-Corporation Paris
  • The whole Phoenix situation
  • Fantomex
  • Weapon XII
  • A gene-hazard
  • Corporal Animal
  • E.V.A.
  • The Weapon Plus program (somewhat)
  • The World (somewhat)
  • The Shi’ar Empire vs. Earth
  • Xorn variations

NEXT EPISODE: A Memorial of Magnetism

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 264 – Autotune the Phalanx

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Symbolism, Douglock. It’s full of Symbolism. (Excalibur #78)
Aw, these kids. (Excalibur #78)
Seriously, though, it’s really easy to imagine them breaking into song at this point. (Excalibur #78)
Ouch. (Excalibur #78)
We do not recommend doing this, for a lot of reasons. (Excalibur #78)
Ouch. (Excalibur #78)
They’re so dramatic! (Excalibur #79)
Courtney Camperson is a very good moppet. (Excalibur #79)
Damn, Kitty. That was uncalled for. (Excalibur #79)
WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE SO MEAN TO ROBOTS (Excalibur #80)
Aw, kiddo. (Excalibur #80)
The juxtaposition of what actually happens in these pages with what Stryfe assumed would happen is such a good use of the medium. (Excalibur #80)
(Excalibur #80)
Dang, Amanda Conner. DANG. (Excalibur #80)
I don’t entirely know how to process charming Charles Xavier. (Excalibur #78)
CHARLES, YOU SCAMP! (Excalibur #79)
“But watch out if anyone approaches you about, like, becoming pope. That won’t end well.” (Excalibur #80)
NEXT EPISODE: Star crossed… IN SPACE!

264 – Autotune the Phalanx

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we celebrate our 100th episode with producer Matt Hunter; you should always be kind to robots; Stryfe has a lot of very petty contingency plans; Britanic is bad at helping; we explore a peculiar pairing of book and arc; Charles Xavier has his moments; and Zero and Douglock defiy destiny.

X-PLAINED:

  • The current occupant of Fantomex’s body
  • Excalibur #78-80
  • The Douglock “chronicles”
  • Zero
  • Douglock
  • Several feelings
  • Britanic (again)
  • Camping fonts
  • Drones
  • Radio Shack
  • Helping
  • Pentagon-sense
  • What being human is all about
  • Charles Xavier, hero of the beach
  • Rory Campbell’s voice
  • Technoorganic vs. transmode viruses
  • Kymera

NEXT EPISODE: Star-crossed in space!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 29 – Mutant in a Box

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We’re having a stealth / plainclothes cosplay contest, with guest X-Pert judge Kris Anka, and prizes from TVStoreOnline! Submissions are open ’til November 7. JOIN US.
Yep, that’s our Fantomex.
This ridiculous motherfucker who is now THREE PEOPLE. What the hell, Fantomex?
This isn’t Cyclops’s worst vacation. Hell, it’s not even his worst honeymoon. (X-Men #176)
Wolverine and Mariko: dealing with relationship issues like grown-ups. We choose to believe that wearing a mask that looks like your hair is a prerogative of adulthood. (X-Men #176)
You’d REALLY THINK Scott would know what an octopus looks like by now, but I guess he was blindfolded for a lot of his time in Octopusheim. (X-Men #176)
Scott! The sea’s a lovely lady when you play in her. But if you play with her, she’s a BITCH! Play in the sea, yes, but never play with her. You’re lucky to be here! You’re lucky to be ALIVE! (X-Men #176, with sincere apologies to the late, great Spalding Gray. Seriously, go watch Swimming to Cambodia. And Monster in a Box. And Gray’s Anatomy. Now.)
Yeah, good luck with that, Sparky. (X-Men #176)
Val Cooper: Definitely the sister of Special Agent Dale Cooper.
The early ’80s: A more innocent time, when all a hero needed was coke and epic shoulder pads, and you could kill Wolverine by slitting his throat. (X-Men #177)
Why is Alex dressed like an elf? (X-Men #177)
As diversions go, that’s a pretty impressively orchestrated one. Go, Brotherhood! (X-Men #177)
CYCLOPS WHAT THE HELL IS EVEN WRONG WITN YOU (X-Men #178)
“Get the asprin, Rogue. I feel a crossover event coming on.” (X-Men #178)
Awyeah. (X-Men #178)
Why is Kitty wearing an unbranded Fantastic 4 costume? Who the hell knows? Do we even need a reason, at this point? (X-Men #178)
99% sure Cyndi Lauper wrote a song about this. (X-Men #179)
This is innocuous in context, until you realize he’s sniffing a dead teenager in a morgue. (X-Men #179)
Aw, Leech. (X-Men #179)
LOOK AT THIS FUCKING WIZARD LOOK AT HIS HAT LOOK AT HOW HE CLEARLY BELONGS ON THE SET OF FLASH GORDON (X-Men #179)
Professor Xavier engages in a rare moment of being absolutely delightful. (X-Men #178)
I like to imagine that Kitty and Doug’s side adventures are the subject of a mid-’80s feature film starring Jenny Lewis. (X-Men #180)
Sky closure is the best closure. (X-Men #180)
Literally the only worthwhile panel in all twelve issues of Secret Wars. (Secret Wars #1)
“I’ll see she’s raised as if she were my own. HOPE SHE LIKES BEING DROWNED IN PUDDLES.” (X-Men #181)
Oh. That guy. Again. (X-Men #181)
This Erica Henderson drawing of Warlock and Cypher doing Troy and Abed in the Morning may be the single nerdiest thing Rachel owns, and that’s saying something.
Next week: These delightful scamps.

29 – Mutant in a Box

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In which Cyclops is the worst at vacations, Mystique is your favorite MurderMom™, Havok is eternally ABD, Kitty Pryde does science, Callisto doesn’t give a damn about her bad reputation, Xavier has a Troy Barnes moment, Miles may be the only person with fond memories of Secret Wars, and Rachel finally gets to make Spalding Gray references.

X-Plained:

  • Fantomex
  • Uncanny X-Men #176-181
  • Reset issues
  • Scott Summers’s second-worst honeymoon
  • Cephalopod disambiguation
  • Project Wideawake (more) (again)
  • Valerie Cooper
  • Foreshadowing
  • Public displays of affection
  • Leech
  • How X-Men age
  • A sewer wizard
  • Doug Ramsey
  • Secret Wars
  • Japan
  • Mystique’s kids
  • Douglock
  • Mystique’s powers
  • The other X-Men Forever

Next Week: The New Mutants gets weird!

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Send us your submissions to the Stealth / Plainclothes Cosplay Contest until the end of the day on Friday, November 7!