Forge – Page 6 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 194 – Brood Trouble in the Big Easy

April 22, 2018 Jay 4 comments

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Cyclops may not have a lot of people skills, but he’s pretty good at boundaries. (X-Men #8)

Last panel of Forge being awful, I promise (for now). (X-Men #8)

Aw, they all posed. (X-Men #8)

Never meet your heroes. (X-Men #8)

Once you see the Pikachu in Psylocke’s swimsuit, you’ll never unsee it. (X-Men #8)

“We have fun, don’t we?” (X-Men #8)

And that’s why you always leave a note! (X-Men #8)

Meet Mrs. Gambit. (X-Men #8)

Trolling law enforcement is one of the subtler perks of being Ghost Rider. (X-Men #8)

“…Lord Byron!” (Ghost Rider #26)

Oh. Him, too, I guess. (Ghost Rider #26)

I mean, yeah, he’s a dick; but this is pretty excessive. (Ghost Rider #26)

The two most dramatic men in New Orleans. (Ghost Rider #26)

TBH, those outfits are pretty understated by Assassins Guild standards. (Ghost Rider #26)

AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (Ghost Rider #26)

I give him some flack, but nobody draws grossed out teenagers like Jim Lee. (X-Men #9)

The inside of Ghost Rider’s mind; and, coincidentally, the cover of his first hit single. (X-Men #9)

(It’s okay. She’ll be back later.) (X-Men #9)

Meanwhile in the upside down… (X-Men #9)

Um, yes. She does. You already know that, Wolverine. (X-Men #9)

X-Men crossovers are pretty hard on guest stars. (X-Men #9)

I’m just gonna leave this here, sans comment. (X-Men #9)

NEXT EPISODE: Mike Mignola’s X-Force!

194 – Brood Trouble in the Big Easy

April 22, 2018 Jay 36 comments

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In which Ghost Rider has some fairly serious medical issues; you should probably never invite Bishop to a picnic; Gambit’s past catches up with him; it’s always Mardi Gras in Fictional New Orleans; Wolverine is thrilled; and Jay swears a solemn vow.

X-PLAINED:

The Tithe
The Momentary Princess
The T’ieves Guild
Why real New Orleans doesn’t have catacombs
X-Men #8-9
Ghost Rider #26-27
The abstract idea of Nicholas Cage
Genesis
The last of the X-Men
A sick burn
A picnic
Boundaries
Bella Donna Boudreaux and her many apostrophes
Ghost Rider
Psegway
Julian Boudreaux
How not to respond to a speeding ticket
The Bootie Man
Horse names vs. katana names
Cathartic excess
X-holidays
Doomsday
Good characters from awful events

NEXT EPISODE: The Externals, for our sins

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 193 – Sewers of Tomorrow

April 15, 2018 Jay 8 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

On one hand: These dudes are pretty rad. On the other hand: being able to detect normal humans is a pretty ridiculous mutant power. (Uncanny X-Men #277)

John Romita, Jr. can be hit-or-miss, but he definitely draws some rad miscreants of the future. (Uncanny X-Men #277)

WOMP. (Uncanny X-Men #277)

Compulsory Fitzroy Hair Appreciation Moment(TM). (Uncanny X-Men #277)

The Witness, in all his really creepy glory. (Uncanny X-Men #277)

Can you imagine trying to have a conversation with this dude? (Uncanny X-Men #277)

I don’t understand what’s happening with Cyclops’s torso; and, frankly, I don’t want to. (Uncanny X-Men #278)

“Look! A distraction!” (Uncanny X-Men #278)

The first appearance of the letter… (Uncanny X-Men #278)

…and the second, FROM THE SAME FLIPPIN’ PAGE. (Uncanny X-Men #278)

Thaaaaat’s our Archangel! (Uncanny X-Men #278)

Can confirm. -Jay (Uncanny X-Men #278)

*Today, at least. (Uncanny X-Men #278)

Long Island cops are clearly unfamiliar with Cyburai. (Uncanny X-Men #279)

Mystique is exceptionally bad at helping. (Uncanny X-Men #279)

Damnit, Forge. (Uncanny X-Men #279)

Storm’s reaction is appropriate. (Uncanny X-Men #279)

Bobby. Have you MET your parents? (Uncanny X-Men #279)

Best. Date. Ever. (Uncanny X-Men #279)

Remember that time Mikhail Rasputin turned a random skater into a tree? Because that certainly happened. (Uncanny X-Men #280)

Hanging out naked in the rain? This dude is DEFINITELY learning the ropes from Storm. (Uncanny X-Men #280)

DAMNIT, Forge. (Uncanny X-Men #280)

NEXT EPISODE: Brood trouble in the Big Easy!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

Learn all about the Cyburai in Episode 160 – Hank McCoy and the Hickey of Destiny!
Laura Dern is precious and must be protected at all costs.

193 – Sewers of Tomorrow

April 15, 2018 Jay 28 comments

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In which we pour one out for Malcolm and Randall; Cyclops is the worst at fun; Storm is better than you and always will be; Bishop forgets his first name; the X-Men can’t tie bow ties; Iceman’s dad is spectacularly awful; Mikhail Rasputin may have some lingering issues; and Doug Ramsey would probably have been pretty entertained by Hackers if he had survived long enough to see it.

X-PLAINED:

Whether Professor Xavier is dead
Marvel time vs. podcast time
Uncanny X-Men #287-290
The Wit and Wisdom of Henry McCoy
A dance of death and destruction
Styglut
Future flashbacks
Sewers of tomorrow
The Witness
“Fun”
Blood math
A mysterious letter
A terrible date
Several capes
The return of the cyburai
A theoretical Hackers crossover

NEXT EPISODE: Brood trouble in the Big Easy!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 180 – Lawful Badass

January 14, 2018 Jay 3 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

What you see is pretty much what you get. (Uncanny X-Men #281)

Cybernetic fuckboys. Don’t worry, they’re all going to die soon. For now. Mostly. (Uncanny X-Men #281)

That is… certainly some dialogue, there. (Uncanny X-Men #281)

And that’s why she’s the boss. (Uncanny X-Men #281)

“We eat dinner naked. It’s very sexy. And then we do the sexy dishes, sexily.” (Uncanny X-Men #281)

Oh, no! Not Bevatron! (Uncanny X-Men #281)

If you had told me a year ago that there was armor worse than Cameron Hodge’s ruby quartz armor, I would not have believed you. Mea culpa. (Uncanny X-Men #281)

Oh, no, not again. (Uncanny X-Men #281)

OH HELL YES. (Uncanny X-Men #282)

Professor X is kind of a sore winner. (Uncanny X-Men #282)

And then, suddenly, Storm was telekinetic. (Uncanny X-Men #282)

That’s gotta sting. (Uncanny X-Men #282)

“But first, The Very Hungry Caterpillar.” (Uncanny X-Men #282)

Earth-1191 is AMAZING. (Uncanny X-Men #282)

I really want to know if all these criminals dressed up special for the occasion, or if this is just what everyone hangs out looking like in the future. (Uncanny X-Men #282)

ABOUT DAMN TIME. (See what I did, there?) (Uncanny X-Men #282)

“Ha, ha!” (Uncanny X-Men #283)

Aw, this kid. (Uncanny X-Men #283)

“I’m going to the comics shop to cancel my subscription RIGHT NOW!” (Uncanny X-Men #283)

Bishop, I know you come from a difficult timeline, but even you have to appreciate how rad that Walt Simonson Archangel design is. (Uncanny X-Men #283)

Are… Iceman and Colossus levitating? (Uncanny X-Men #283)

This is why we–or at least the Upstarts–can’t have nice things. (Uncanny X-Men #283)

NEXT EPISODE: Guns ‘n’ Pouches!

180 – Lawful Badass

January 14, 2018 Jay 59 comments

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In which Jay is deeply invested in The Gifted; Trevor Fitzroy is generally inexcusable; there are a lot of reasons to be uncomfortable in the Hellfire Club; the mix just got altered in this little clambake; Jean Grey (kind of) dies (again); Earth-1191 gives the Age of Apocalypse some glam competition; Lucas Bishop is a pretty decent metaphor for fan culture; everyone is probably Kang the Conqueror; and now Miles really has no excuse for not watching The Prisoner.

X-PLAINED:

The Chronomancer and his Chronobots
The Gifted
Lucas Bishop’s creative origins
Trevor Fitzroy
Goatee Theory
X-Factor #67
Uncanny X-Men #281-283
Dapper Lesbian Shinobi Shaw
A briefly useful mnemonic
Cybernetic fuckboys
The return of Warren Kenneth Worthington III’s hair
Beef and Bevatron
The deaths of the Hellions
Warhammer
Some of the challenges of X-Plaining the ’90s
Bringing a knife to a Sentinel fight
Bantam
A bunch of bad guys from the future
Bishop
Randall
Malcolm
Earth-1191
The Gamemaster
X-Men we’d like to see come out as trans (revisited)
Whether either or both of us are Kang the Conquerer

NEXT EPISODE: Pouches and Guns

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

173 – The Muir Island Saga, Part 2

November 19, 2017 Jay 43 comments

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In which Abs-lantis will not be denied; “slightly traumatized” is basically the default state of Xavier’s original students; we pick up the slack for Nicieza; Banshee and Moira MacTaggert probably have an active and varied love life; Xavier miscounts the X-Men; we look back over the Claremont/Simonson era of the X-Universe; and Jay makes a case for the re-resurrection of Jean Grey.

X-PLAINED:

X-Men: Red
Namor’s beard
The conclusion of the Muir Island Saga
Uncanny X-Men #280
X-Factor #70.
Cool orange spacesuits that make you immune to telepathy
Off-brand Magneto hats
Literary terrors of our childhoods
Agents DeMarco & Heacock (R.I.P.)
Casual use of nuclear weaponry
The cavalry
The end of the Shadow King
The most dysfunctional timeline
Uncanny X-Men #200-278
The case for an eclectic X-Universe
X-Campus
Resurrections, and when they do and don’t work

NEXT EPISODE: Ed Piskor’s Grand Design

The visual companion to this episode will be up sometime before the end of 2017, by which point Jay’s lungs will hopefully be working again. Yay?

(Seriously, though, fuck this cold. Fuck this cold so much.)

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 172 – The Muir Island Saga, Part 1

November 12, 2017 Jay One comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

But what if his dialogue also had its OWN tiny captions? (Uncanny X-Men #278)

“And that one dude from Final Fight will help me!” (Uncanny X-Men #278)

But whom could this mysterious stranger be? (Uncanny X-Men #278)

LOOK AT THIS EVIL FASHION QUEEN (Uncanny X-Men #278)

There is nothing okay happening here. (Uncanny X-Men #278)

Here, on the other hand, everything is beautiful and nothing hurts. (Uncanny X-Men #278)

That’s not… I mean… you know what? Never mind. (Uncanny X-Men #278)

AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (Uncanny X-Men #278)

Honestly, there are so many answers to that question. (Uncanny X-Men #279)

His other power is flashbacks. (Uncanny X-Men #279)

And with that, Chris Claremont flew off into space, to explore new horizons. (Uncanny X-Men #279)

Say what you want about her morals; Evil Rogue has a pretty rad costume. (Uncanny X-Men #279)

OH, HELL, YEAH! (Uncanny X-Men #279)

X-Factor’s New Wave era was brief but distinctive. (X-Factor #69)

It really never gets any more okay, does it? (No.) (X-Factor #69)

Why does Reisz suddenly have red hair? WHO KNOWS? IT’S A MYSTERY! (X-Factor #69)

AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (X-Factor #69)

The Art of War involves some remarkably specific ruminations on spandex. (X-Factor #69)

Wait for it… (X-Factor #69)

YES! (X-Factor #69)

Also 2017 in a nutshell. (X-Factor #69)

WELL, THAT CAN’T BE GOOD. (X-Factor #69)

NEXT EPISODE: Don’t smoke, kids. (Also, the Muir Island Saga concludes.)

LINKS & FURTHER READING

Miles talked about Thor: Ragnarok on Panel on Panels #143!
The Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men Wiki
Roland Hedley, Jr. meets X-Factor

172 – The Muir Island Saga, Part 1

November 12, 2017 Jay 48 comments

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In which you are probably more familiar with this show than Jay and Miles are; Paul Smith makes good art; the Shadow King is so extra that his narration has its own narration; Evil Sexy Moira is a fashion queen; there are absolutely no circumstances in which it is appropriate to use the phrase “fist-o-rama”; Legion gets possessed; and we know absolutely nothing about Pokémon.

X-PLAINED:

Universes where people are other people
What Miles thought of Thor: Ragnorok (spoiler-free)
The Muir Island Saga (Part 1)
Uncanny X-Men #278-279
X-Factor #69
Teflon continuity
Our (lack of) favorite episodes of Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men
The Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men wiki
An alternate timeline
Corpse telepathy
A diabolical plan, sort of
Topicality
Theft
Sci-Fi Warlord Moira MacTaggert
Improbable aerodynamics
The greatest thing
The death of Peter Nicholas
The uncanny genital valley
Interesting ways to expand Cyclops’s powers
X-Pokémon

NEXT EPISODE: The Muir Island Saga concludes!

ART CHALLENGE: Send us your horrifying X-Pokémon! (Note: We were not kidding when we said that we know absolutely nothing about Pokémon, which means that we will probably believe anything you tell us about canon. Have fun!)

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 165 – Pop Rocks

September 24, 2017 Jay 5 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Triple gatefold? That’s a lot of gatefold! (Uncanny X-Men #275)

Oh, man, the Starjammers are so cool, even when they’re evil alien duplicates. (Uncanny X-Men #275)

And that was the end of Wolverine, forever. (Uncanny X-Men #275)

Not gonna lie: there are a LOT of splash pages and spreads in this visual companion. (Uncanny X-Men #275)

So many reasons, Banshee. (Uncanny X-Men #275)

I mean, technically Wolverine just won back her throne, but, whatever. (Uncanny X-Men #275)

Look at all those fancy X-Men! (Uncanny X-Men #275)

Wolverine parties like a Robert E. Howard protagonist. (Uncanny X-Men #275)

I know this is supposed to be sinister, but it’s also kind of hilarious. (You gotta imagine the YOINK SFX in the second panel.) (Uncanny X-Men #275)