Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Gatecrasher

As Mentioned in Episode 192 – Meet the N-Men

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
All-new, all-different! (Excalibur #45)
And that’s why you don’t bring Technet on a stakeout. (Excalibur #45)
LOOK AT THESE DELIGHTFUL INDIVIDUALS (Excalibur #45)
She’s not wrong. (Excalibur #45)
Really, really good use of shadows, there. (Excalibur #45)
MEET THE N-MEN! (Excalibur #45)
Remember this guy. He’s gonna be a major antagonist. (Excalibur #45)
Ah, Joyboy, we hardly knew thee. (Excalibur #45)
Meggan contains multitudes. (Excalibur #46)
Aw, Zombie Thor looks so happy to be there. (Excalibur #46)
If things like peeing in solitude are important to you, you should probably not join Excalibur. (Excalibur #46)
Nightcrawler: canonically EXTRA heroic. (Excalibur #46)
*Rimshot* (Excalibur #46)
Sparkly! (Excalibur #46)
Meggan’s true form has SERIOUS hair. (Excalibur #46)
Aw, Widget. (Excalibur #46)
One of the all-time classic Excalibur covers. (Excalibur #47)
THE GREATEST LOVE STORY IN COMICS. (Excalibur #47)
Hi, Cerise! (Excalibur #47)
Damnit, Merlyn. This is why we can’t have nice things.(Excalibur #47)
Kurt, if you don’t know which book you’re in by now, I don’t know what to tell you. (Excalibur #47)
They do this with THE WHOLE STORY, and it warms my shriveled heart. (Excalibur #47)
NEXT EPISODE: A Bishop in the house!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

192 – Meet the N-Men

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Alan Davis’s Excalibur is a spiritual sibling to The Muppet Show; Captain Britain gets a Captain Britain lesson; Opal Luna Saturnyne has no time for your nonsense; Meggan and Rachel take a brief detour into a Hammer film; Earth-148 is extra heroic; no member of Excalibur will ever use a bathroom in peace; Cerise joins the team; Technet embraces the future; and the end of the world is nigh.

X-PLAINED:

  • Pixie’s powers and parentage
  • Several eccentricities of Jay’s apartment
  • Excalibur #45-47
  • Earth-148 (Ee’rath)
  • Comics pacing vs. podcast pacing
  • Technet (more) (again)
  • Amelia Witherspoon and several references related thereto
  • The N-Men
  • How to Captain Britain
  • The multiversal significance of the lighthouse
  • A portentous chess game
  • A particularly aggressive retcon
  • The return of the Neuri
  • The real Meggan
  • Necrom
  • A heroic death
  • The true curse of Excalibur
  • Some very specific citations
  • A reunion
  • Kylun (Colin McKay)
  • A blessed event
  • Cerise
  • Whether Rogue can control Cyclops’s powers
  • Laura Kinney’s upcoming reversion to X-23

NEXT EPISODE: Bishop joins the X-Men!

ENTIRELY IRRELEVANT UPDATE: The wall on which Jay was attempting to mount a desk turned out to be plaster over sheetrock. Office plans are being revised accordingly.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 182 – Lunch With Technet

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Man, I missed Alan Davis. (Excalibur #42)
“If brute force won’t work, salmonella will!” (Excalibur #42)
It was REALLY hard not to just include every single good facial expression in this issue. (Excalibur #42)
…Sure, why not? (Excalibur #42)
Seriously, though, this? This is perfect comics. (Excalibur #42)
Horatio Cringebottom and Bert. (Excalibur #42)
Ewwww. (Excalibur #42)
He’s gotten… taller. (Excalibur #42)
THIS COVER. Alan Davis, how are you even real? (Excalibur #43)
Jay made a bunch of really inappropriate valentines back in 2013. This was probably the best one. (Excalibur #43)
Dude, you can’t blame someone for their weird sex dreams. That’s just uncharitable. (Excalibur #43)
Brian Braddock is a big jerk. (Excalibur #43)
*SLOW CLAP* (Excalibur #43)
Meet your new OTP. (Excalibur #43)
Seriously, they are so good. (Excalibur #43)
China Doll is not wrong. (Excalibur #43)
MEGGAN DESERVES BETTER. Always. (Excalibur #43)
Pretty much a perfect one-panel summary of Excalibur. (Excalibur #43)
Pitch: A comic where Brian always talks like this, for no apparent reason. (Excalibur #44)
Meggan X-Plains Meggan. (Excalibur #44)
It’s sort of surprising that he’s not used to this sort of thing by now. (Excalibur #44)
You know you’d have asked, too. (Excalibur #44)
Damnit, Micromax. (Excalibur #44)
Meet Brother Brit-Man. (Excalibur #44)
A possibly familiar t-shirt, as it appears in X-Men Gold Annual #1. (Want one of your own? You can get it right here!)
NEXT EPISODE: More tentacles to hug with!

182 – Lunch With Technet

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Alan Davis spins dangling plot threads into gold; comics artists are storytellers; Technet is a feature, not a bug; Brian Braddock’s issues reach their boiling point; if you’re going to learn about Earth from TV, you should probably stick with PBS; and our Lila Cheney t-shirts are officially canon!

X-PLAINED:

  • An unlikely alliance
  • Jay & Miles at Emerald City Comic Con
  • Alan Davis’s return to Excalibur
  • Excalibur #42-44
  • Breakfast with Excalibur
  • Hard-Boiled Henry
  • Horatio Cringebottom
  • Bert
  • Earth-148 (Ee’rath)
  • Kylun (Colin McKay)
  • Unlikely houseguests
  • A romance
  • A fracas
  • The trial of Captain Britain
  • Multiversal moral relativity
  • Micromax (Scott Wright)
  • Lunch with Technet
  • Why public television funding is important
  • How Shadowcat’s phasing interacts with extreme temperatures
  • Our opinions on X-Men: Gold Annual #1

NEXT EPISODE: Omega Red!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 129 – They Don’t Allow Dragons in Here

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Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Lockheed, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore. (Excalibur #12)
Spoiler: this ends exactly the way you’d expect it to. (Excalibur #12)
This guy. (Excalibur #12)
IT’S SUCH A GOOD SIGHT GAG! (Excalibur #12)
Fisticuffs! (Excalibur #12)
This series has the best covers, man. (Excalibur #13)
Swell new threads, Cap! (Excalibur #13)
Princess Kitty, now 100% more bland. (Excalibur #13)
‘Kay. (Excalibur #13)
THIS IS NOT A GOOD FOUNDATION FOR A RELATIONSHIP. Also, I’m pretty sure they’re both, like, fourteen. (Excalibur #13)
Another classic. (Excalibur #14)
I’m not saying he’s not, but… (Excalibur #14)
Whoa, dang. (Excalibur #14)
Oh. THAT guy. (Excalibur #14)
The more you know! (Excalibur #14)
Swell new threads, Meggan! (Excalibur #14)
I always remember Albert being in this scene, which he’s obviously not, because he didn’t exist yet. Go figure. -J (Excalibur #14)
It’s like the dog ending of Silent Hill II, but instead of shibas, you get Chris Claremont and John Byrne. (Excalibur #14)
You tell ’em, Galactus! (Excalibur #14)
Look, we get what you were going for, but, no. (Excalibur #12)
I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. (Excalibur #13)
You can go home now. We’ve hit single greatest panel of Excalibur, ever. (Excalibur #15)
Ah, “the old-fashioned way.” (Excalibur #15)
MEANWHILE… (Excalibur #15)
AND THEN… (Excalibur #15)
Jamie Jaspers is terrifying. (Excalibur #15)
LATER… (Excalibur #15)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (Excalibur #15)
NEXT EPISODE: Killing the X-Men, with Charles Soule!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

129 – They Don’t Allow Dragons in Here (The Cross-Time Caper, Part 1)

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which “Cross-Time Caper” is something of a misnomer; Excalibur is an awful lot of fun to summarize; none of us will ever live up to Oscar Wilde’s expectations; Captain Britain secretly derives his powers from genre; sometimes things turn out to be simple; Kitty Pryde is better at everything than you; manipulation and murder are the new flowers and candy; context may or may not ruin everything; Meggan gets a new outfit; Technet takes Brighton; and some universes are just too silly to survive.

X-PLAINED:

  • Rick Jones, Sidekick Supreme
  • The Cross-Time Caper
  • Excalibur #12-15
  • Three love triangles
  • Jay’s mom’s late iguana
  • Captain Marshall, Lord Champion of the Realm
  • Prince William
  • Butch the ogre
  • Princess Kate
  • Fisticuffs
  • Instant air conditioning, Excalibur-style
  • Bagpipe Vader
  • An anticlimactic solution to a protracted problem
  • Sorcery 101
  • Several profoundly unethical ways to initiate a relationship
  • Arrested Excalibur
  • The Campsite Rule of relationships
  • The logistics and social history of tarring and feathering
  • A protracted parody
  • A very large number and several names for it
  • A theoretical team-up
  • Ultimate Hunger
  • An unidentified comic that is not Ultimate Hunger
  • Some less-than-ideal creative choices
  • A multiversal montage
  • Jamie Braddock (more) (again)
  • A duck
  • The unenviable fate of Doctor Crocodile
  • Pairing mutants with metal genres
  • Inconsistent flight safety measures

NEXT EPISODE: Killing the X-Men, with Charles Soule

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 98 – Between Alien Visitations and Drunken Sulks

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Hello, Meggan!
Say what you will about Dai Thomas; the man is thorough.
The Crazy Gang tries so hard.
These dudes really really seem like they must be a reference to something, but we were unable to dig up a clear source.
Also how we found Kyle.
She may be the evil dictator of a crypto-Nazi dystopian Earth, but damned if Sat-Yr-Nin doesn’t have great hair.
It’s kind of charming how petty Brian gets when he’s feeling self-righteous.
Sidney Crumb is ill.
Aw, man.
I’m’a let you finish, X-Men, but this is the best team in the Marvel Universe.
Captain Britain is a superhero comic that is also an extended metaphor that is also a superhero comic.
One more Technet group shot, just because.
Brian Braddock summed up in a single panel.
The Cherubim. Don’t get too attached–they’re super doomed.
Okay, then.
Captain U.K. and her therapy mullet.
Meanwhile at Stately Braddock Manor…
The real superpower is adherence to narrow beauty standards, but flight is also pretty cool.
This sequence really needs to be set to the Benny Hill theme.
Oldest trap in the book.
MORE TECHNET! It’s Technet Christmas!
There’s probably a universe where Captain Britain is in fact a girl gang, and that’s the universe where I want to live.
Fridging summed up in a single panel.
Remember that time the protagonist, a superhero, straight-up smashed a dude’s head in with a boulder? Because that definitely happened in this comic.
Don’t quit your day job, kid.
Hardboiled gangster Meggan is the goddamn best.
No, seriously, there should be a whole comic that’s just about the two of them doing this.
That RICK sound effect, tho.
OH, HI.
And they all lived happily ever after, but not really, because that doesn’t make for a very interesting ongoing series.
NEXT EPISODE: Genosha is for lovers!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

 

98 – Between Alien Visitations and Drunken Sulks

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which we continue our coverage of pre-Excalibur Captain Britain; S.T.R.I.K.E. is D.U.C.K. is W.H.O.; the R.C.X. is one lapse in judgment away from on-the-job cosplay; Meggan levels up; your name will never be as cool as Doctor Crocodile’s; Technet writes their own cold opens; and we announce the upcoming debut of Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men!

 

X-PLAINED:

  • A large number of acronyms
  • Irony
  • Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men
  • Mighty World of Marvel #14-16
  • Captain Britain #1-14
  • The aftermath of the Jaspers Warp
  • Inspector Dai Thomas
  • How to work out a superhero’s secret identity
  • The Crazy Gang (more) (again)
  • Slaymaster
  • Captain Britain’s costume
  • Sidney Crumb
  • Gatecrasher’s Technet (more) (again)
  • Earth-794
  • Kaptain Briton
  • Sat-Yr-Nin
  • The R.C.X.
  • Agents Gabriel & Michael
  • The Warpies
  • The Cherubim
  • Meggan (more) (again)
  • Doctor Crocodile
  • Jamie Braddock
  • Betsy Braddock’s short and calamitous tenure as Captain Britain
  • Women in Refrigerators
  • Our thoughts on the X-movies
  • Mutant heredity

NEXT EPISODE: Genosha Is for Lovers

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 89: Giant-Size Special #3

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
It is probably okay to judge this book by its awesome cover. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Superheroes have the best anxiety dreams. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
AUGH. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
BEHIND THE SCENES: Jay keeps accidentally calling the Warwolves Whywolves. It’ll probably happen on air eventually. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Hi, Meggan! (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
The feeling of wanting to yell at Brian Braddock will be your constant and loyal companion in this series. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
THAT BEDROOM, THO (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Meggan is the nicest person ever. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Sexiest Nightcrawler! (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Gatecrasher: never not delightful. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Omniversal Majestrix Opal Luna Saturnine. You can tell she’s important because her hair is extra swoopy. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
More Technet. Look at these beautiful people. Look at them. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
London takes fancy-dress parties seriously. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Sexiest Nightcrawler stars in the Sexiest Intervention. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
“No sense moping. I’m gonna manifest a cosmic force and start dressing like I’m on Dynasty.” (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
BLIX! JRBL! VOOTIE! Your argument is invalid. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
The True Meaning of Christmas. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Elle casts Excalibur:

Captain Britain – Richard Madden
Megan – Hannah Murray
Shadowcat – Isabelle Fuhrman
Phoenix – Karen Gillan
Nightcrawler – Danny Pudi
Saturnyne/Courtney Ross/etc – Natalie Dormer

(Seriously, though, can we all just take a moment to think about Daveed Diggs as Nightcrawler? -J)
Elle casts Technet (and Alistaire Stuart):

Gatecrasher – Kathy Bates
Scatterbrain – Cara Delevingne
China Doll – Tristan Risk
Ferro – Ray Park
Thug – Hornswoggle
Alistaire Stuart – Arthur Darvill

It’s your very own printable Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Award for Excellence in X-Cellence! GO, YOU!
Jay knew the Blingee account they had registered to add sparkles to Dazzler covers and photos of Nolan North would come in handy again someday!

 

THE 2015 SUPER DOCTOR ASTRONAUT PETER CORBEAU AWARDS FOR EXCELLENCE IN X-CELLENCE

23_corbeau_blingee

  • Best X-Writer – Dennis Hopeless
  • Best X-Artist – Mike Norton
  • Best X-Colorist – Jordie Bellaire
  • Best Soap Opera – Inferno
  • Irene Adler Award for Most Anticipated Upcoming Book or Series – X-Men ’92 ongoing
  • Harvey and Janet Award for Best Walk-On – Falcon Pirate (Wolverines #1)
  • About Damn Time – Iceman comes out (All-New X-Men #40 and X-Men #600)
  • Cyclops Has a Good Day Award – Uncanny X-Men #600
  • Shameless Pandering – X-Men ’92
  • MetaCorbeau for Exemplary Use of Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau in a Comic Book – Al Ewing (Mighty Avengers #8)
  • Best Ongoing X-Series – X-Force (w: Si Spurrier; a: various)
  • Rising Star – Wolverine (Laura Kinney)
  • Best Withering Sneers* – Kristafer Anka
  • The Didn’t-Fit-Into-Any-Other-Categories-and-Isn’t-Technically-an-X-Book-but-We-Wanted-to-Give-It-an-Award-Anyway Award – Siege (w: Kieron Gillen, a: Filipe Andrade)
  • Still the Best Listeners of Any Podcast, Ever – YOU. Again.**

*Kris Anka owns this category so thoroughly that, in the name of fairness, he will be disqualified starting in 2016; at which point the name of this category will officially change to the Kristafer Anka Award for Best Withering Sneer in an X-Book.

**Seriously. We may be a wee bit biased; but honestly, you’re just wildly unfair to the competition.

CLASSIC CORBEAUS (for older X-material covered in the podcast during 2015)

  • Buried Treasure – Fallen Angels
  • You Tried – Magneto (New Mutants)
  • Jack Kirby Award for Best Intersection of Weird and Epic in a Single Character Design – Walter Simonson (Archangel, X-Factor)
  • Improbably Endearing Moppet – Franklin Richards
  • High Bar Award – Bill Sienkiewicz (New Mutants)
  • Most Heroic Hair – Alan Davis
  • Most Organized Supervillain – Cameron Hodge

SPECIAL THANKS TO OUR AMAZING GUEST X-PERTS:

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

89 – Giant-Size Special #3 (feat. Kyle Yount, Logan Bonner, Elle Collins, and Chris Sims)

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which Jay and Miles finally X-Plain some Excalibur; Kyle interviews the X-Perts; Logan gets up-close and personal with the X-Men; Elle casts Excalibur; Chris X-Plains Santa Claus; and you are still the best listeners of any podcast, ever.

X-PLAINED:

  • Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn
  • Christmas at the X-Mansion
  • The best hair in the Marvel Universe
  • The not particularly secret origins of Excalibur
  • Mojoverse anxiety dreams
  • Warwolves
  • Meggan
  • Captain Britain (Brian Braddock)
  • Sexiest Nightcrawler
  • Technet (and several of its members)
  • Gatecrasher
  • Yap
  • Omniversal Majestrix Opal Luna Saturnine
  • The Special Executive
  • Mutant intersectionality
  • Why we chose the X-Men
  • Favorite X-Spinoffs
  • Our podcast-guest wish list
  • The theoretical cast of an Excalibur movie
  • Our ideal X-lineups
  • Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men
  • The Second Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence in X-Cellence
  • Marvel Holiday Special 1991
  • Santa Claus
  • The true meaning of Christmas

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!