Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Hellions

As Mentioned in Episode 448 – Skamageddon

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The two Emma Frosts: Shadowy and Pouty. (X-Force #87)
James Proudstar x-plains Uncanny X-Men #281. (X-Force #87)
Reconnecting via X-Factoring. (X-Force #87)
Now that is a lair. (X-Force #87)
Magma’s back! And she’s a jerk! (X-Force #87)
Meet Paradigm. (X-Force #87)
The New New Mutants vs. the New Hellions. New. (X-Force #88)
We can accept covering Empath’s face with word balloons – but hey, show some respect to Firestar! (X-Force #88)
Feral’s back – just in time to wreck Jay’s voice again! (And Siryn’s, but we’ll get to that later.) (X-Force #88)
Life got complicated since the last time these two saw each other. (X-Force #88)
X-Force’s x-treme tactics have just saved us like half an issue of misunderstandings! (X-Force #88)
The techno-organic virus: bad for free will and not great for skin health. (X-Force #88)
Paradigm x-plains X-Force. (X-Force #89)
This party sucks! (X-Force #89)
Blood relation has no inherent virtue. (X-Force #89)
Aww, there’s plenty of logic! Just look at the little manual that comes with most Tarot decks! (X-Force #89)
Among Dani’s new powers is the ability to turn robot-guys into eggs. (X-Force #89)
Kind of a weird font choice. Times New Armageddon? (X-Force #89)
Feral never misses an opportunity to learn the worst possible lesson. (X-Force #90)
Tarot, is that really a new manifestation of your mutant power, or did you just rob a Spirit Halloween? (X-Force #90)
Welp, I guess the entire West coast is completely demolished and will take decades to rebuild. Funny how no other comics have mentioned that… (X-Force #90)
Sorry, Jesse. Your brother is the absolute worst. (X-Force #90)
Sam Guthrie: annoying people into virtue since 1980-something. (X-Force #90)
BADDA BOOM (X-Force #90)
Aww. (X-Force #90)
NEXT TIME: Talking X-costumes with Russell Dauterman!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

448 – Skamageddon

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Feral’s back – just in time to wreck Jay’s voice again! (And Siryn’s, but we’ll get to that later.) (X-Force #88)

In which timeline math is almost never worth it; Tarot comes back from the dead (kind of) (maybe); Magma makes a heel turn; “King Bedlam” would be a great name for a ska band; not every nude man can turn into a bear; and you don’t have to talk to your supervillain relatives.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Triune Understanding
  • Birthday party follow-up
  • X-Force #87-90
  • Legacy and continuity
  • Bedlam (Jesse Aaronson)
  • Tarot (Marie-Ange Colbert)
  • Goat Simulator
  • King Bedlam (Christopher Aaronson)
  • The New Hellions
  • Perils of body-swapping
  • Linear time
  • Science
  • Armageddon Man
  • Paradigm
  • Senator Owen Danville
  • Family
  • A fancy hat
  • Madame Web
  • Many natural disasters
  • Early Genoshan history
  • Longshot as a villain

NEXT EPISODE: Dressing the X-Men with Russell Dauterman!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 378 – The Unstoppable Huggernaut

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That is a lot of Cain Marko. (Juggernaut #1)
WE’VE GOT SMEK SIGN! WE’VE GOT SMEK SIGN! (Juggernaut #1)
I do not want to be in Juggernaut’s fraternity, please. (Juggernaut #1)
I honestly do not know whether D’Spayre or his chompy demons look cooler. (Juggernaut #1)
They’ve been busy. (Juggernaut #1)
Presenting Black Tom Cassidy’s forked beard and his forked… boots? (Juggernaut #1)
Same outfit as last time, but Spite looks rad as hell in this story. (Juggernaut #1)
Aww shit D’Spayre looks even cooler here (Juggernaut #1)
Even Juggernaut’s skeleton is beefy. (Juggernaut #1)
Jay disapproves of this butt. (Generation X Annual 1997)
“You can’t be Catseye! Your hair is wrong and you’re not talking like Yoda! Aaaaaaand also you’re dead!” (Generation X Annual 1997)
“Thanks for saying my logo right, Jubes.” (Generation X Annual 1997)
Aww, kids. (Generation X Annual 1997)
March 2020 – present (Generation X Annual 1997)
Nothing brings out backstory like a Fear Lord! (Generation X Annual 1997)
Did the power pairings of the current New Mutants run get their start here? Prrrrrobably not. (Generation X Annual 1997)
That’s one biiiiig leprechaun in that executioner’s hood. (Generation X Annual 1997)
When Chamber’s mutant powers first manifested, they destroyed not only his lower jaw and upper chest, but also his swole-ness. (Generation X Annual 1997)
NEXT TIME: Space fashion!

378 – The Unstoppable Huggernaut

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In which our favorite(?) fear lord returns; Sirocco Sprawl is an extremely unpleasant fictional town; the Juggernaut is not a subtle man; we really need to get our hands on the Generation X novels; Tarot gets a logo font; and Banshee is menaced by spectral leprechauns.

X-PLAINED

  • Several Juggernauts
  • Soap Operas
  • D’Spayre (again)
  • D’Spayre vs. Nightmare
  • Juggernaut #1
  • Generation X Annual 1997
  • Magical pants
  • Juggernaut (Cain Marko) and what he’s been up to lately
  • Incidental reptiles
  • Sirocco Sprawl, NM
  • Marvin T. Rocksalt
  • A spree of cartoonish destruction
  • Spite (again)
  • Black Tom Cassidy (again)
  • A really cool skeleton
  • Generation X novels
  • Several episodes we should probably do someday
  • A very poorly-drawn butt
  • The Hellions (more) (again)
  • One way to put out a fire
  • Garden Plots with Skeletor
  • Several nightmare scenarios
  • Alex Summers’s adoptive family
  • What would happen if Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau met Cameron Hodge

NEXT EPISODE: Space!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

As Mentioned in Episode 255 – Rules of the Game

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
On one hand: Yes, it’s still a cool design. On the other hand: Remember when it wasn’t sexualized? (X-Force #32)
Any resemblance to Bill Watterson is entirely incidental, probably, maybe. (X-Force #32)
Oh. THEM. (X-Force #32)
Meanwhile in X-Men #29… (X-Force #32)
Meanwhile in a cameo in X-Men #29… (X-Force #32)
Paige Guthrie, during the two pages when she could briefly turn into a bird. (X-Force #32)
Yeah, that swimsuit is… improbable. (X-Force #32)
Fitzroy, now with knock-off Transformer armor! (X-Force #32)
The Gamesmaster X-Plains the current round. (New Warriors #45)
KARMA! We missed you!! (New Warriors #45)
You… you sure just said that, didn’t you? (New Warriors #45)
OH, SNAP. (New Warriors #45)
It kind of feels like a waste that he didn’t say “Let me slip into something more comfortable.” (X-Force #33)
DON’T PUT HUSK IN A CORNER! (X-Force #33)
Oh, no! Not… an unnecessarily complicated radial containment array! (X-Force #33)
Aw, Shinobi. (X-Force #33)
Bold of you to imply that you ever do otherwise. (New Warriors #46)
I considered zooming waaaay in and seeing if I could recognize anyone in this, but then I decided not to. (New Warriors #46)
Paige Guthrie plays to win. (New Warriors #46)
This is… a really, really big dangling thread. Dangling rope, maybe. (New Warriors #46)
NEXT EPISODE: Mullets of time and space!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING

255 – Rules of the Game

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the Upstarts are the worst at Calvinball; Moonstar remains a non-mystery; Speedball gets a new costume; Shinobi Shaw never gets to finish a bath; Gamesmaster comes perilously close to getting context; Cable gets a new superpower; and Rahne Sinclair is too good for your crossover.

X-PLAINED:

  • The time Husk went evil
  • An anniversary
  • A guest appearance
  • X-Force #32-33
  • New Warriors #45-46
  • A crossover
  • A game
  • Younghunt
  • The semi-debut of Paige Guthrie
  • Deeply uncomfortable bathing-suit choices
  • A toy that never actually existed
  • The New Warriors
  • Justice (Vance Astrovik)
  • Night Thrasher (Dwayne Taylor)
  • Nova (Rich Rider)
  • Silhouette (Sil Chord)
  • Kymaera
  • Speedball (Robbie Baldwin)
  • Rage (Elvin Haliday)
  • Firestar (Angelica Jones) (more) (again)
  • A plan
  • Bantam
  • A lot of mind control
  • A very ambiguous game and its potential implications
  • Favorite ads
  • The narrative economy of resurrection

NEXT EPISODE: Mullets of time & space!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 225 – Class Reunion (feat. Austin Gorton)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
I miss when comics had dialogue on their covers! And when Emma Frost was ten feet tall. (New Warriors #10)
“Your uzi is no match for my very tall right boot!” (New Warriors #10)
If Emma’s telepathy weren’t invisible, this is exactly how viscerally violent it would look. (New Warriors #10)
Oh, Speedball – never change. Like, especially into a mopey edgelord with spikes inside his costume. (New Warriors #10)
Angelica Jones, you warm my heart. And also everything else. (New Warriors #10)
The tarot of the who now? (New Warriors #10)
You tell her, Firestar! (New Warriors #10)
Darick Robertson, you sure can draw… everything. (New Warriors #31)
Background-Cyclops is annoyed at the damned teenagers always hogging the phone line with their endless calls and their AOLs. (New Warriors #31)
Cannonball’s facial expression speaks for us all. (New Warriors #31)
Remember – neither of these women actually has flame powers! (New Warriors #31)
I bet there’s a long German word for the terror that comes from knowing you’re about to crash into your friend’s crotch at seventy miles per hour (and a second word for the terror that comes from being on the receiving end). (New Warriors #31)
Shine on, you justifiedly resentful diamond. (New Warriors #31)
That’s it. That’s the whole explanation. (New Warriors #31)
Emma Frost believes strongly in clear labels. (New Warriors #31)
I liked the yellow better, but this ain’t bad. (New Warriors #31)
Next time: X-Factor finally makes it to Genosha!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

225 – Class Reunion (feat. Austin Gorton)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we check in on Firestar and the New Warriors; superheroes often celebrate Bring Your Mom To The Amazon Day; Fabian Nicieza employs only the finest of lampshades; and Emma Frost still doesn’t apologize for blowing up that pony.

X-PLAINED:

  • Vance Astro(vik)
  • Penance (but not that one)
  • Austin Gorton’s X-Aminations
  • New Warriors #10
  • Firestar (Angelica Jones)
  • The New Warriors
  • Visual representations of invisible mutant powers
  • The Hellions (more) (again)
  • Tarot and her Morrisonian powers
  • Bevatrons
  • Oxy-cution
  • The inevitably increasing complexity of superhero origins
  • The Miracle of Microwaves
  • New Warriors #31
  • Nova Roma
  • Magma (Amara Aquilla) (or Allison Crestmere, I guess)
  • A brief and futile attempt at Roman soldier disambiguation
  • Empath and his large collection of red flags
  • Gender-based intuition
  • A massive, stupid, and quickly undone retcon
  • Super-nature versus super-nurture
  • The hypothetical psychological roots of Emma Frost’s fashion phases

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor finally makes it to Genosha!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 180 – Lawful Badass

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Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
What you see is pretty much what you get. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
Cybernetic fuckboys. Don’t worry, they’re all going to die soon. For now. Mostly. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
That is… certainly some dialogue, there. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
And that’s why she’s the boss. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
“We eat dinner naked. It’s very sexy. And then we do the sexy dishes, sexily.” (Uncanny X-Men #281)
Oh, no! Not Bevatron! (Uncanny X-Men #281)
If you had told me a year ago that there was armor worse than Cameron Hodge’s ruby quartz armor, I would not have believed you. Mea culpa. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
Oh, no, not again. (Uncanny X-Men #281)
OH HELL YES. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
Professor X is kind of a sore winner. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
And then, suddenly, Storm was telekinetic. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
That’s gotta sting. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
“But first, The Very Hungry Caterpillar.” (Uncanny X-Men #282)
Earth-1191 is AMAZING. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
I really want to know if all these criminals dressed up special for the occasion, or if this is just what everyone hangs out looking like in the future. (Uncanny X-Men #282)
ABOUT DAMN TIME. (See what I did, there?) (Uncanny X-Men #282)
“Ha, ha!” (Uncanny X-Men #283)
Aw, this kid. (Uncanny X-Men #283)
“I’m going to the comics shop to cancel my subscription RIGHT NOW!” (Uncanny X-Men #283)
Bishop, I know you come from a difficult timeline, but even you have to appreciate how rad that Walt Simonson Archangel design is. (Uncanny X-Men #283)
Are… Iceman and Colossus levitating? (Uncanny X-Men #283)
This is why we–or at least the Upstarts–can’t have nice things. (Uncanny X-Men #283)
NEXT EPISODE: Guns ‘n’ Pouches!

FURTHER READING, WATCHING, & LISTENING:

180 – Lawful Badass

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Jay is deeply invested in The Gifted; Trevor Fitzroy is generally inexcusable; there are a lot of reasons to be uncomfortable in the Hellfire Club; the mix just got altered in this little clambake; Jean Grey (kind of) dies (again); Earth-1191 gives the Age of Apocalypse some glam competition; Lucas Bishop is a pretty decent metaphor for fan culture; everyone is probably Kang the Conqueror; and now Miles really has no excuse for not watching The Prisoner.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Chronomancer and his Chronobots
  • The Gifted
  • Lucas Bishop’s creative origins
  • Trevor Fitzroy
  • Goatee Theory
  • X-Factor #67
  • Uncanny X-Men #281-283
  • Dapper Lesbian Shinobi Shaw
  • A briefly useful mnemonic
  • Cybernetic fuckboys
  • The return of Warren Kenneth Worthington III’s hair
  • Beef and Bevatron
  • The deaths of the Hellions
  • Warhammer
  • Some of the challenges of X-Plaining the ’90s
  • Bringing a knife to a Sentinel fight
  • Bantam
  • A bunch of bad guys from the future
  • Bishop
  • Randall
  • Malcolm
  • Earth-1191
  • The Gamemaster
  • X-Men we’d like to see come out as trans (revisited)
  • Whether either or both of us are Kang the Conquerer

NEXT EPISODE: Pouches and Guns

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)