Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: logan

As Mentioned in Episode 417 – Pterodactyl with a Gun

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Rogue anxiety dreams like nobody’s business. (Uncanny X-Men #353)
We call this move the “Lois Lane.” (Uncanny X-Men #353)
I love it when people remember that the Xavier School is–at least ostensibly–a real school. (Uncanny X-Men #353)
WOLVERINE, WHAT THE HELL?!? (Uncanny X-Men #353)
Not the best place to hide incredibly sensitive mechanical equipment, y’all. (Uncanny X-Men #353)
This is supposed to be a clever bait-and-switch, but that hand is fairly obviously not Rogue’s. (Uncanny X-Men #353)
He sure is. (Uncanny X-Men #353)
Valid question, buddy. (Uncanny X-Men #354)
Sauron’s current whereabouts, X-Plained. (Uncanny X-Men #354)
Continued from previous. (Uncanny X-Men #354)
Fuckin’ Marvel Canadians. (Uncanny X-Men #355)
Remember answering machines? (Uncanny X-Men #355)
Yes, excellent. (Uncanny X-Men #355)
Hi, brainwashed Alpha Flight! (Uncanny X-Men #355)
This sequence is objectively perfect. (Uncanny X-Men #355)
Jean, you REALLY don’t spring that costume on someone. (Uncanny X-Men #354)
…Fair, though. (Uncanny X-Men #355)
NEXT EPISODE: this whole mess

417 – Pterodactyl with a Gun

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In which you, too, can use Cerebro; Jubilee is here, for some reason; the Xavier School should absolutely not be accredited; Hulk Hands would solve many of Rogue’s problems; Sauron gets a gun; Psylocke pulls a Lois Lane maneuver; you really shouldn’t spring a Phoenix costume on anybody; Joseph has (another) identity crisis; and Canada has problems.

X-PLAINED:

  • Miles at SDCC
  • Uncanny X-Men #353-355
  • X-Men #73
  • A running motif
  • Wolverine’s sons
  • Margaret Stone
  • “fun”
  • The location of the original X-jet
  • A red herring
  • Sauron (more) (again)
  • Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy… in space!
  • How to ship a pterodactyl
  • Mighty appendages
  • The Agee Institute
  • Boundaries
  • Wallpaper
  • Joseph (more) (again)
  • New Year’s Resolutions
  • Sebastian Shaw and his wraith buddy (again)
  • The X-Men’s answering machine
  • What Wolverine does
  • Alpha Flight
  • Canada problems
  • A crossover
  • Phoenix problems
  • Jean Grey’s ‘90s costume
  • Found families
  • What makes the Dark Phoenix Saga an X-Men story

NEXT EPISODE: Reignfire, resolved!

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As Mentioned in Episode 413 – Convergence

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We’re still not sure about the word for a gatefold-and-a-half, but here’s a good one. (X-Force #75)
Welcome to Exploding Colossal Man! (X-Force #75)
Karma and her girlfriends. (X-Force #75)
I’d like to think she spends her time being an asshole at New Age bookstores, too. (X-Force #75)
Wandering down memory lane with Mirage and Warpath. (X-Force #75)
OOOOOOOOOhhhhhhhh (X-Force #75)
This is really about as far as that ever gets X-Plained. (X-Force #75)
I really dig the weirdness of the art of the Colossal Man. (X-Force #75)
If you know, you know. (New Mutants vol. 4 #30)
This gimmick has been used a lot over the years… (X-Force #76)
…but it plays nicely here. (X-Force #76)
Noooooooooooooo! (X-Force #76)
A very fun fight (at least for the reader). (X-Force #76)
Two great tastes that go great together! (X-Force #76)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor spirals towards its inexorable lack of conclusion.

413 – Convergence (feat. Douglas Wolk)

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In which X-Force goes to Burning Man Exploding Colossal Man; Douglas Wolk may or may not have superpowers; Karma gets girlfriends; we are already tired of Reignfire; Meltdown and Sunspot initiate a love triangle; and Jay is writing some more X-Men.

X-PLAINED:

  • Road trips
  • X-Force #75-76
  • New Mutants vol. 4 #30
  • A gatefold and a half
  • Burning Man
  • Exploding Colossal Man
  • Karma’s name
  • Echidna Faire
  • Text
  • Selene (more) (again)
  • Crowd scenes
  • Various character relationships
  • Callbacks
  • Mud
  • A magic box and a fancy stick
  • Eitri the Dwarf
  • A grand conjunction
  • A big, silly fight
  • Peak late ‘90s queer culture
  • Echidna Faire
  • Bowling
  • Etienne Rousseau
  • Updating Bastion’s facial hair
  • Wolverine’s mentees

NEXT EPISODE: The beginning of the end of X-Factor

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 411 – Tearaway Pants

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When you meet a straight couple, you should ask them which is the Nic Cage and which is the John Travolta. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
Fuckssake, Warren. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
Severe costume injuries. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
Logan’s skiing / beat poetry outfit. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
After thirty years, Warren finally gets a gun, I guess. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
SERIOUSLY, HOW DO THEY RECOGNIZE IT?! (X-Men Unlimited #17)
Much like Gambit, I hallucinate a team of X-Men insulting me at all times. (X-Men Unlimited #18)
Hydro-Man. He sure is. (X-Men Unlimited #18)
Jean Grey advocates for change. (X-Men Unlimited #18)
Aw. (X-Men Unlimited #18)
See, they body-swapped because of carpet static and… y’know what? Just watch Gravity Falls. You won’t regret it.
NEXT EPISODE: Back to the core!

411 – Tearaway Pants

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In which we actually kind of like a Sabretooth story; we’re not asking for viscera, here; all pants on Earth-616 are tearaway pants; we’d like to see more Wolverine stories about bodily autonomy; Gambit’s hallucinations have hallucinations; and there are probably too many X-books.

X-PLAINED:

  • Punch-clock villains
  • Hydro-Man’s secret weakness
  • 411
  • ‘90s fashion
  • X-Men Unlimited #17-18
  • X-Men Unlimited vs. annuals
  • A difficult casting decision
  • Forge’s neutralizer gun
  • Costume injuries
  • Color symbolism? Kinda? I guess?
  • Mrs. Hoo
  • Saberine & Wolvertooth
  • Warren Kenneth Worthington III vs. shirts
  • How to dress for Earth-616
  • Hot buttered whatever
  • Boob foliage
  • Clones
  • Very tenacious blood stains
  • The return of the Angry Claremontean Narrator
  • Lots of hallucinations
  • Oscar the Fixer
  • Hydro-Man
  • Redemption, symbolic and otherwise
  • The evolution of Magneto’s name
  • Our ideal X-line

NEXT EPISODE: Back to the core!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 406 – The Most Dangerous Mini-Game

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So, that’s where he got it! (Wolverine #-1)
I love this design for Sabretooth. (Wolverine #-1)
And also his car. (Wolverine #-1)
Literally nothing is okay at the Blanding/Masters house. (X-Factor #-1)
Mister Sinister lurks in the bushes. (X-Factor #-1)
They’re AT LEAST in their early 20s. (X-Factor #-1)
DAMN, Haley! (X-Factor #-1)
The most dangerous mini-game. (X-Factor #-1)
Alex Summers in a nutshell. (X-Factor #-1)
Wellp, you did that. (X-Force #-1)
I swear I thought this thing was gonna be a red herring. (X-Force #-1)
Everything cute about this issue is also really sad. (X-Force #-1)
How Thunderbird got his code name. (X-Force #-1)
Don’t worry, Tabby; soon you’ll be stealing with the best of ’em! (X-Force #-1)
The Circus of Cameos. (X-Force #-1)
In which John Produstar straight-up wrassles a tiger. (X-Force #-1)
“We also do a lot of crimes, but they’re pretty low-key as comic-book circus crimes go.” (X-Force #-1)
Ugh, this guy. (X-Force #-1)
Naked in Space: The Charles Francis Xavier Story. (X-Men #-1)
Magneto, a sensible fellow, wears clothes in the vacuum of space. (X-Men #-1)
IT NEVER STOPS BEING FUNNY (X-Men #-1)
DRAMATIC! JUXTAPOSITION! (X-Men #-1)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor hits rock-bottom, again.

LINKS & FURTHER READING

406 – The Most Dangerous Mini-Game

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In which we disagree about the value of Stan Lee intros; everybody wants Wolverine; Mister Sinister lurks; Haley Blanding deserves better; Thunderbird fights a tiger; and Xavier and Magneto do their usual thing.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Circus of Crime
  • Stan Lee intros
  • Wolverine #-1
  • X-Factor #-1
  • X-Force #-1
  • X-Men #-1
  • Proust vs. Sartre
  • How Logan joined Alpha Flight
  • The secret origin of the word “canucklehead.”
  • USDA, Annex B
  • Myron MacLain
  • Logan’s cigars
  • Yet more continuity errors
  • Sabretooth’s ridiculous car
  • The balance of scary and silly
  • Wolverine’s cowboy hat
  • Summers family bullshit
  • The Blandings and/or Masterses
  • Vince
  • The Proudstar family
  • One or more cats named Coyote
  • The origin of Thunderbird’s totem
  • Edwin Martynec (again)
  • Chondu the Magician
  • Ringmaster
  • Yet more Xavier and Magneto flashback drama
  • The bottom of the resurrection queue
  • Good car-trip episodes

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor continues to make poor decisions

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 403 – Sneaky-Peeky Stuff

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Not a single pouch! Being an intern sucks. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)
How did they not hear that coming a mile away? (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)
ASAB (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)
A transom is a crossbar at the top of a doorframe that separates it from an above-door window. I had to look that up! (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)
Kitty Pryde is banned from half the department stores in the UK. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)
Face ID was still working out the kinks in 1997. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)
You can tell Rigby’s the love interest – look at that hair! (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)
This is pretty much what Miles’s day job looks like. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)
“Type ‘cookie’, you idiot!” (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)
AWOOOOOGA! (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)
I mean, Kitty’s had worse looks. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)
Medication, lip gloss, spare underwear, dragon… Kitty just packed the basics. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)
Welp, I guess Logan’s new name on the podcast is Wooferino. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)
New Yorkers, amirite? (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)
“I feel like I’m going meshugge!” (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)
It’s a silly comic, but damn if the pacing isn’t genuinely effective. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)
“God, Dad! Knock before you come in! (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)
Logan x-plains Kitty Pryde & Wolverine. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)
That’s handy work! (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)
I kinda wish it was a Hello name is sticker instead. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)
Still less embarrassing than dating Pete Wisdom. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #3)
Well done, Ogun. You kept up the deception for almost five full seconds. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #3)
Did the Astral Plane used to be this cramped? (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #3)
Lockheed’s helping! (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #3)
I… I mean… sure, fine. Let’s just go with it. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #3)
Every IT department has to deal with that user. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #3)
Spoiler: Ogun does not try. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #3)
NEXT TIME: Death’s Head II!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

  • We talked about Kitty and Ogun’s first meeting way back in Episode 28!

403 – Sneaky-Peeky Stuff

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Did the Astral Plane used to be this cramped? (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #3)

In which Shadowcat gets a new miniseries; people don’t talk that way (but probably should); holograms are magic; the Helicarrier gets possessed; Wolverine fights a computer; and Miles and Al pitch live-action X-series.

X-PLAINED:
  • Possession
  • Shadowcat (Kitty Pryde) (more) (again)
  • Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1-3
  • A surprising helicopter
  • Frictionless bed sheets
  • S.H.I.E.L.D. vs. S.H.I.E.L.D. vs. S.H.I.E.L.D.
  • The word “obstreperous”
  • The nefarious doings of nasty transom peekers, envelope steamers, and door kickers
  • Larry Hama dialogue
  • Rigby Fallon
  • Yet another return of Ogūn
  • One way to get from the Brooklyn Bridge to a Helicarrier
  • Yet another fight on the astral plane
  • Wolverine vs. technology
  • The intrinsic power of life, I guess
  • Visibility of psychic powers
  • Live-action X pitches
NEXT EPISODE:
Death’s Head II!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!