Onslaught – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 359 – Meanwhile in Britain

January 16, 2022 Jay 4 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Wraparound cover! (Excalibur #100)

Her eyes really did look cooler before. (Excalibur #100)

Do not try this at home. (Excalibur #100)

I’d read an odd-couple comic about these two. (Excalibur #100)

The media X-Plains Onslaught. (Excalibur #101)

He bullshits so well! (Excalibur #101)

Aw, Cap. (Excalibur #102)

Well, that’s foreboding. (Excalibur #102)

You almost–almost–feel sorry for the bad guys. (Excalibur #102)

That’s a lot of Nightcrawlers! (Excalibur #103)

Also some Shadowcats and Colossuses! (Excalibur #103)

Meanwhile in Limbo… (Excalibur #103)

NEXT EPISODE: This nonsense.

LINKS & FURTHER BACKSTORY

We covered the preceding events in Excalibur in Episode 337 – Wild Genes and Old Magic!

359 – Meanwhile in Britain

January 16, 2022 Jay 14 comments

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In which Excalibur has a lot going on; Margali Szardos is never up to any good; Nightcrawler grows into leadership; we delve into the politics of superheroism; Pete Wisdom earns his keep; Miles catches a Prisoner reference; and we reach the end of Warren Ellis’ Excalibur.

X-PLAINED:

John the Skrull
Excalibur #100-103
The current state of Excalibur
Black Air (again)
The Hellfire Club (London Branch)
Australia
Margali Szardos (more)
Demonic ethernet
Captain Britain’s new-old suit
Emma Steed
Dune
Several fights
Combat IT
Boolean definitions of madness
The Department
Laserdisks
Patriotism
Many doppelgangers
Nightcreeper
Another reference to Dante’s Inferno

NEXT EPISODE: Some absolute nonsense

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As Mentioned in Episode 357 – The Semiotics of Regret

December 26, 2021 Jay 3 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

This cover accomplishes what it sets out to do so beautifully… (Uncanny X-Men #337)

…as does its credits page. (Uncanny X-Men #337)

Nothing is entirely okay here. (Uncanny X-Men #337)

Hank, no. (Uncanny X-Men #337)

And wistfulness for dessert. (Uncanny X-Men #337)

Ah, that cover. Again. (X-Men #57)

Versions of this have been used roughly a zillion times; but it always works. (X-Men #57)

The 616, where televisions always flip through the most scene-appropriate clips. (X-Men #57)

Clean up your damn flechettes, Warren Kenneth Worthington III. (X-Men #57)

(He’s not covered in water; it’s the anti-psy field and the evocation of Days of Future Past.) (Onslaught Epilogue #1)

Not… the Rainbow Bears?! (Onslaught Epilogue #1)

Hi, kiddo. (Onslaught Epilogue #1)

Psychology is… different, here. (Onslaught Epilogue #1)

Sure, why not? (Onslaught Epilogue #1)

NEXT EPISODE: GIANT-SIZE WINTER SPECIAL, feat. Jonathan Hickman!

As Mentioned in Episode 356 – The Michael Bay-eux Tapestry

December 19, 2021 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

The 90s-est Rogue in the 90s-est crossover. (X-Men #56)

“Who but I could pose so impressively?” (X-Men #56)

“SENTINEL TZ-031 REPORTING TO HELP YOU MAKE YOUR POINT, SIR” (X-Men #56)

This Onslaught-form may mostly be a retcon to justify past artistic inconsistency – but damn it looks awesome. (X-Men #56)

“And not even one of them told me the actually-important parts of AoA’s whole deal.” (X-Men #56)

Kubert gets so much credit for making a quiet conversation this visually riveting. (X-Men #56)

“You may be a hybrid monstrosity composed of the worst parts of both myself and my greatest frenemy, but at least you seem to have excellent dental hygiene.” (X-Men #56)

This cover kinda sums it up. And that’s not a bad thing. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

Well shit. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

Scott Summers, master tactician. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

Goosebumps. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

The world’s greatest heroes versus a bright orange glow to the right of the two-page spread. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

Hope, thy name is Moppet. Despair, thy name is x-treme teen. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

“And on that day, the heroes channeled their collective courage and dedication into a single blast of punching and yelling.” (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

BTOOM (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

I’m not crying you’re crying (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

*heavy metal horns* (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

Thor, that’s not how it… oh, I guess it is. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

Man, these two (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

Nothing I can say will add to these panels. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

This shouldn’t work, but damn, it does. (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

“In the meantime, I guess you could grab that universe-in-a-ball and learn contact juggling?” (Onslaught: Marvel Universe)

NEXT TIME: Onslaught ends, for real.

356 – The Michael Bay-eux Tapestry

December 19, 2021 Miles 7 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which it’s hard to be Joseph; we do our best to explain the inexplicable; Miles is full of feelings; Hulk smashes; and Onslaught finally (mostly) ends.

X-PLAINED:

Heroes Reborn Return
Wild times with the Dreaming Celestial
Onslaught so far
X-Men #56
Onslaught: Marvel Universe
Jay’s definitive Bond
Joseph (more)
The physical evolution of Onslaught
Sense of scale
Hawkeye (TV series)
Onslaught’s goals, to what extent they exist
The three genders
A really big fight
A miracle of magnetism
The (nominal) end of the Age of Heroes
Beast’s scientific career
Chamber’s voice

NEXT EPISODE: Several epilogues

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 355 – All Sentinels Are Bastards

December 12, 2021 Miles 3 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

See, this is why I’ll never drive in New York. (Amazing Spider-Man #415)

“Did I say guardian angels? I meant guardian spiders. Hey, things were different in the sixties.” (Amazing Spider-Man #415)

What year did this comic come out? Oh, right. 1996. (Amazing Spider-Man #415)

“Also, my son is a magical astronaut werewolf, and he’d stay and help!” (Amazing Spider-Man #415)

Inkers don’t get enough respect. (Spider-Man #72)

Jeez, even the Sentinels have traffic jams! What did I say about never driving in New York? (Spider-Man #72)

Weekend At Spider-Bernie’s. (Spider-Man #72)

Aww, these kids. (Spider-Man #72)

Now this is how you Spider-Man. (Spider-Man #72)

Phillip Urich’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Part 1. (Green Goblin #12)

Phillip Urich’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Part 2. (Green Goblin #12)

Phillip Urich’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Part 3. (Green Goblin #12)

Phillip Urich’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Part 4. (Green Goblin #12)

Phillip Urich’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Part 5. (Green Goblin #12)

Phillip Urich’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Part 6. (Green Goblin #12)

Frank Punisher is in over his head. (Punisher #11)

“A mustache and a wing-suit? Those student loans were worth every cent!” (Punisher #11)

This has never once happened in the history of the Marvel Universe. Never. Once. (Punisher #11)

The speech bubble says DOGS but the jet-ski says DOGZ – I don’t know who to believe! (Punisher #11)

Cap’n Bloodscream smiles approvingly from the next ship over. (Punisher #11)

“And I just had some firemen hose me down, so I am ready for this.” (Punisher #11)

NEXT TIME: End-slaught.

355 – All Sentinels Are Bastards

December 12, 2021 Jay 18 comments

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In which we take a break from X-Men to talk Onslaught tie-ins; Miles learns about coffee shop AUs; Sentinels are very large; there are no bystanders in a crossover event; we are really not Punisher people; and all the bad guys have plans.

X-PLAINED:

The Clone Saga (briefly)
How not to dispose of a dead clone
Ben Reilly
Amazing Spider-Man #415
Spider-Man #72
Green Goblin #12
Punisher #11
Onslaught’s increasingly nebulous goals
Sentinel timing
Coffee shop AUs
Sentinels in Manhattan
Several fights with Sentinels
Green Goblin (Phil Urich)
Uncles Ben
The Lunatic Laugh
Punisher (Frank Castle) (briefly)
Yet another helicarrier crash
The happiest cannon fodder
The Junkyard Dogs
Rashid Hammer Jones
The surprisingly exciting world of NYC maritime salvage
Make-believe superpowers
Deadlines

NEXT EPISODE: A Big Fight

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 354 – The Touch of Magneto

December 5, 2021 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Elektra is… complicated. (Wolverine #104)

Where babies come from. (Wolverine #104)

This is actually how most Wolverine stories start. (Wolverine #105)

AWWWWWW. (Wolverine #105)

Ewwwwww. (Wolverine #105)

Stick in a nutshell. (Wolverine #105)

Chris Bachalo, man. Chris Bachalo. (Generation X #19)

They’re not Artie and Leech; but they’re kinda Artie and Leech. (Generation X #19)

SURE WHY NOT (Generation X #19)

Oh, buddy. You tried. (Generation X #19)

You also tried. (Generation X #19)

NEXT WEEK: HAWK TALK!
NEXT EPISODE: Tie-ins!

354 – The Touch of Magneto

November 28, 2021 Jay 14 comments

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In which Onslaught is a party that goes on way too long; we are grateful that the Hand is mostly someone else’s problem; there’s always time to get hosed down by firemen; and Emma Frost should never, under any circumstances, cook.

X-PLAINED:

The Golden Archer
Wolverine #104-105
Generation X #18-19
Portions of Elektra’s deal
Stick
Wolverine’s nose
Gateway and Onslaught
Several flashbacks
The Onslaught goblin
Retcons and character accountability
A wet open
A somewhat atypical plane flight
Toad by way of Chris Bachalo
The mysterious DL
Emma’s Montreal mansion and its staff
Cooking with Emma Frost
Quasi-benevolent mind control
Surgeon
A bonus Shadowcat power
Digital invisibility

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught tie-ins!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!