Rogue – Page 7 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

348 – Onslaught Continues

October 3, 2021 Jay 8 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which all the heroes fight each other, a lot.

X-PLAINED:

Teenage Iron Man
Onslaught thus far
What Onslaught wants
Uncanny X-Men #335
X-Men Unlimited #11
Avengers #401
The rebirth of Apocalypse
The Apocalocophagous
The Age of Wonders
X-Man vs. Professor X
Nate Grey-sitting
Humanity’s Last Stand
Simon Trask
Bastion
Rogue and Joseph
Avengers fashion
Assumptions
Other characters who could merge Onslaught-style
Origins of the Angry Claremontean Narrator

NEXT EPISODE: Yes, still Onslaught.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 333 – Fight Train

May 23, 2021 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

I’d like to think he leaves her office like this afterwards. (Uncanny X-Men #331)

Just another Thursday on the PATH… (X-Men #51)

TFW you run into your boss outside of work and they make it weird. (X-Men #51)

…Somehow. (X-Men #52)

Remember that name; you’ll be sneering it later. (X-Men #52)

I wasn’t kidding when I said that Sinister kidnapped Bishop to find out if his ships were canon. (X-Men #52)

NEXT EPISODE: Emplate sucks!

333 – Fight Train

May 16, 2021 Jay 9 comments

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In which Miles discovers owl legs; Iceman dwells in subtext; Dark Beast overperforms; Daredevil is a delightful trash fire of a person; Graydon Creed’s presidential run is somewhat less shocking in 2021; Rogue does not enjoy playing ‘Got your nose’; and Mister Sinister is not a friend to public transportation.

X-PLAINED:

Post-Decimation resurrections
Owl legs
Uncanny X-Men #331
X-Men #51-52
Iceman’s complicated personal life
Casual crossovers
The facial hair of Warren Kenneth Worthington III
The terrible decisions of Matt Murdock
How to subtly test your in-laws for mutant powers
What Mister Sinister sounds like
A bad plan
The debut of Bastion
DNA
Foreshadowing

NEXT EPISODE: Emplate Sucks

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 323 – Baby Talk

February 14, 2021 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Seriously–they look like little adults! (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)

This gag was probably inevitable, honestly. (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)

Enter the X-Babies! (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)

I feel like public opinion of Sentinels would go way up if they looked like dinosaurs. (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)

Arcade X-Plains the premise. (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)

THIS IS REALLY DARK FOR WHAT IT IS. (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)

Is this actually Sinister? We never really find out, but it’s gotta be, right? (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)

Hooray! (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)

…that’s a lotta X-Babies. (Pint-Sized X-Babies #1)

Absolutely iconic cover. (X-Babies: Reborn #1)

Damn good interior art, too. (X-Babies: Reborn #1)

Kirby’s art has leveled up exponentially between Murderama and Reborn; I particularly dig his Spiral. (X-Babies: Reborn #1)

Expanded geography of the Mojoverse. (X-Babies: Reborn #1)

Man, I wanna live in a closed-down theater! (X-Babies: Reborn #1)

The textbook sisters. (X-Babies: Reborn #1)

‘Vengers Assembly! (X-Babies: Reborn #1)

That it’s an obvious joke doesn’t stop it from being funny. (X-Babies: Reborn #1)

All-New Psychilde! (X-Babies: Reborn #1)

Seriously, who WOULDN’T read about the adventures of Baby Doom? (X-Babies: Reborn #1)

That Skottie Young cover! (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #1)

Mr. Veech and Nandy. (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #1)

Good times. (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #1)

Our first glimpse of the Star Comics characters. (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #1)

Planet Terry (Bowdlerized version). (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #1)

Wally and the Wizard (Bowdlerized version). (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #2)

Royal Roy (Bowdlerized version). (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #2)

Top Dog (Bowdlerized but still helpful version). (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #3)

The actual, exiled Royal Roy, Planet Terry, and Top Dog. (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #3)

oh shit (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #3)

And they all pretty much lived happily ever after, probably, I guess. (X-Babies: Stars Reborn #4)

NEXT EPISODE: Aging up to X-teens!

LINKS & FURTHER JUVENALIA

Who could ever forget cinematic icon Robert Cop?
Meredith McClaren would draw extremely kickass X-Babies.
Welcome to Westview: For all your WandaVision deep-dive needs!

323 – Baby Talk

February 14, 2021 Jay 12 comments

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In which we spend a large amount of time on a group of small characters; X-Babies stories cover a wide range of quality; Mojo is relegated to public access; the ‘Vengers rebel against their creator; the X-Babies excavate Star Comics; we adjust our opinion of the mid-‘90s; and WandaVision is probably not connected to the Mojoverse.

X-PLAINED:

Fun with blood
The X-Babies
Mojo
Pint-Sized X-Babies #1
X-Babies Reborn #1
X-Babies: Stars Reborn #1-4
The Brotherhood of Mutant Bullies
X-Baby nomenclature
The Pix
Hell’s Kitchen
The Wildways (more) (again)
Monkey Wagon
Bubblefield
Marshmallow Marsh
Gamesboro
The Textbook Sisters
The ‘Vengers
A transformation
Mr. Veech
Nandy
Star Comics and several characters therefrom
The Adorable X-Babies
Our opinions on the mid-‘90s
Welcome to Westview

NEXT EPISODE: X-Teens!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 317 – Acquaintances of Humanity

December 20, 2020 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Oh, c’mon, you did NOT need a double gatefold for that. (X-Men #45)

OW.

(Not a metaphor.) (X-Men #45)

Included to showcase some really damn good use of balloon and caption placement. (X-Men #45)

Aw, Rogue. (X-Men #45)

Damn, that’s good composition. (X-Men #45)

Just here to rub salt in the wound by out-glamming you. (X-Men #45)

It’s true: there’s something extra sad about brooding in shorts. (Uncanny X-Men #326)

IT SURE IS 1995 IN HERE. (Uncanny X-Men #326)

Seriously, Boomer, don’t be friends with Sabretooth. (Uncanny X-Men #326)

To those of you who get reaction images from these: You’re welcome. (Uncanny X-Men #326)

Gambit clearly subscribes to the Rory Campbell school of rehabilitation. (Uncanny X-Men #326)

Well, WE certainly recognize it! (Uncanny X-Men #326)

Now, that’s a wraparound cover! (X-Men Annual 1995)

Somebody’s been reading Age of Apocalypse. (X-Men Annual 1995)

“They’re never sure how many of them they are, and the uncertainty is difficult to live with.” (X-Men Annual 1995)

These three look like time travelers dressed in what each is certain everyone was wearing in 1995. (X-Men Annual 1995)

At least they’re stylish? I guess? (X-Men Annual 1995)

“I see hair more glam than any in this universe.” (X-Men Annual 1995)

“Several, at this point.” (X-Men Annual 1995)

Well, kinda. (X-Men Annual 1995)

Also, they all, um, teleported away. To a farm. Where they can run and play with the other villains. (X-Men Annual 1995)

NEXT: Leprechauns, obviously.

317 – Acquaintances of Humanity

December 14, 2020 Jay 12 comments

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In which Nicholas Cage is more of a concept than a human being; Rogue’s angst-fueled road trip continues; Gambit and Sinister have complementary aesthetics; there are a lot of Guthries; the Trasks are never up to any good; and whether or not it is canon, Ghost Rider has definitely teamed up with Johnny Cash.

X-PLAINED:

Ghost Rider (film)
Nicholas Cage
Rogue and Gambit
X-Men #45
Uncanny X-Men #326
Uncanny X-Men Annual 1995
A gratuitous gatefold
Alliteration vs. consonance
Osmium
Fancy captions
Aesthetics
Shorts
Gambit vs. Sabretooth
Questionable medical policy
AIDS and the Legacy Virus, revisited
Humanity’s Last Stand
Guthries
Preacher
The evolution of killer robots
Superhero-musician team-ups
Otherworld vs. the M’Kraan crystal

NEXT EPISODE: THE LEPRECHAUNS RETURN

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 306 – Between Here and There

August 30, 2020 Miles 3 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Kids, send in your answers for a prize! (Uncanny X-Men #322)

Pink was IN for pretty much all projectiles in 1995. (Uncanny X-Men #322)

Jeez, Warren, get over it. Everyone has to wear a mask these days. It’s not that hard. (Uncanny X-Men #322)

Now I want to see what Bishop would think of Mandy. (Uncanny X-Men #322)

I really like Jean’s family. Shame what Claremont did to them in 2006. (Uncanny X-Men #322)

Getting punched by the Juggernaut is a way quicker method of depilation than waxing or electrolysis. (Uncanny X-Men #322)

Uncanny X-Men #12-13 could’ve been cut down to about a page and a half if Psylocke had been around. (Uncanny X-Men #322)

Sigh. (Uncanny X-Men #322)

This page was very important to young Miles. (Uncanny X-Men #323)

Okay, who spiked the Danger Room? (Uncanny X-Men #323)

X-Force’s former leader, folks. (Uncanny X-Men #323)

Low blow, Trish. (Uncanny X-Men #323)

On one hand, Iceman is a loyal and caring friend. On the other hand, he calls himself The Bobster. It kind of evens out. (Uncanny X-Men #323)

Logan, this is how we got banned from Denny’s, remember? (Uncanny X-Men #323)

The Container Crew. (Uncanny X-Men #323)

DC’s Azrael only wishes he could look this cool. (Uncanny X-Men #324)

Look at my teeth! LOOK AT THEM! (Uncanny X-Men #324)

Would’ve been funnier if it was a vampire bar. (Uncanny X-Men #324)

You said it, Logan. (Uncanny X-Men #324)

1.5 stars in Yelp’s morgue section (Uncanny X-Men #324)

This Fall on CBS! (Uncanny X-Men #324)

Letting Bobby’s call go to voicemail? Jeez, this is almost as bad as that time she blew up a pony! (Uncanny X-Men #324)

NEXT TIME: Hey, it’s these kids!

LINKS & FURTHER ATROCITIES:

Check out Episode 203 – The X-Man’s Burden for more on the apparent death of the Morlocks!
WHOA, DANG! Jay wrote an official X-Men comic, which comes out on September 16!

306 – Between Here and There

August 30, 2020 Jay 9 comments

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In which we continue our ongoing tour of the post-Age of Apocalypse X-Universe; Onslaught gets a name; nobody’s sure what Noah Dubois is doing there; Iceman gets to be the practical one, for once; T&A should not generally appear on the same visual plane; someone needs to talk to Cannonball about kink safety; and Emma Frost lets a call go to voicemail.

X-PLAINED:

Tarzan fandom
X-Man, summarized
Uncanny X-Men #322-324
Color as a narrative tool
The evolution of Storm’s shower etiquette
How not to relax with Lucas Bishop
Seat-of-the-pants plotting
Parenting
Noah Dubois, sort of
A road trip
Sexiness vs. sexualization
Emma Frost as Caprica Six
How not to walk a supervillain
Cannonball’s uniform
Sack
Vessel
Greycrow (more) (again)
The worst morgue and/or disco ever
Edna and Norton McCoy
Times Rogue has absorbed Colossus’s powers
X-Men: Marvels Snapshot

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 301 – Can’t Beat the Real Thing

July 19, 2020 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

This is in fact an ENTIRELY REASONABLE position under the circumstances. (X-Men Prime #1)

Dennis is his own disparaging narrator. (X-Men Prime #1)

I don’t know why John Constantine is here to question Trish Tilby’s ethics, but SOMEONE needs to. (X-Men Prime #1)

Why is Val here? WHO KNOWS? (X-Men Prime #1)

Pretty sure this is supposed to be Onslaught, but it’s not going to be confirmed, so… (X-Men Prime #1)

“I repurposed all the brain parts that would normally go to fashion sense. On one hand, I can keep track of every team in play. On the other hand, this is how I dress myself.” (X-Men Prime #1)