Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

379 – Stardate: Today

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which what happens in space stays in space; a horse is imperiled; Joseph does some dubious science; Gladiator’s name is absolutely not Gary; everybody gets new costumes; and we learn where babies come from.


  • Shi’ar taxonomy, sort of
  • The Shi’ar (again)
  • The Phalanx (again)
  • Uncanny X-Men #341-344
  • A whole bunch of callbacks to X-Men #98
  • A carriage ride
  • The Z’noxx chamber (again)
  • One way to have safer sex
  • FAO Schwarz
  • The Shi’ar Imerial Guard (again)
  • Diplomacy, kind of
  • Space outfits
  • Trademarks
  • Pure Phalanx
  • Dinosaur Kingdom 2
  • Where Shi’ar babies come from
  • Flirting
  • The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl vs. Isca the Unbeaten
  • Characters we would happily voice if invited to do so

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  1. So, you guys talk about bird milk a bunch in this episode. You might be interested to know that at least one type of bird, pigeons, *do* produce milk. Google it; it is deeply strange!

  2. I have to say I am both very excited and sad to be at this point. I always thought that this story arc (which I’ve always just called “Where No X-Man Has Gone Before”) and the next story arc, “The Trial of Gambit,” are the last time for a long time that “Uncanny” as a title is… fun. I mean don’t get me wrong, there’s still a lot of good coming, but this is sort of the end of an era in more ways than one, since this also Lobdell’s last two stories as the regular writer — I know he does the Eve of Destruction mini-arc a few years from now to close out the pre-Morrison era.

    But yeah this is the last time I truly have unadulterated joy for “Uncanny” for a long time. The Seagle run is interesting but it’s barely about the team for his first ten issues. Kelly has the team stories in the adjectiveless title and Seagle is going to focus a lot on solo Rogue and the O5 for a bit when he takes over, and of the O5 only Beast will be an active X-Man for a bit. So it’s a weird little run.

    Then comes Alan Davis and the two books will be in crossover mode for like a year and a half until Claremont 2.0. And I love the Alan Davis run and will defend it with my life but it’s definitely not as fun as what Lobdell did as the main writer from 288-350.

    Yes, I know Lobdell apparently perpetrated shitty behavior in his personal life. Definitely don’t condone it. Merely commenting on the content of these issues, which is a fun ride. Still one of my favorites to re-read to this day and I was glad to hear Jay and Miles enjoyed it as well.

    I do have one quick question RE coverage. I do enjoy the interconnectivity of the core X-titles when they are in sync. If I recall, issue 342 has an interlude that sets up the next few issues of the adjectiveless title featuring the members of the team that did not end up in space. I didn’t hear you guys cover that page during the episode, I was wondering if it was intentionally skipped or if perhaps whatever source you were re-reading these issues from omitted that page?

    Thanks guys!!

  3. Deeply disappointed the art for the episode is not just Rogue and a random making out with a cyclotron overhead.

    And Shinobi Shaw hiding in the bushes taking notes. Because you gotta run the joke into the ground.

  4. Unfortunately, the classic FAO Schwarz store on Fifth Ave. closed back in 2015. They opened a new store at Rockefeller Plaza, but we all know it’s not the same.

  5. The Shi’ar’s inconsistent approach to something as basic as breeding did seem a little odd. Given how much actual avian traits are frowned on in their polite society (Assuming that the bird jerks have a “polite” society), and Deathbird was even removed from the line of succession because of her feathered arms, you’d have thought that egg laying was something they’d look down.

    I think I sort of headcanoned (for as much as I could actually bring myself to care) that they had a “Brave New World” situation whereby the royal family, in a suitably OTT way, went in for articial birth with external egg-like amniotic sac/shells, and the common Shi’ar bred in a more… typical mammalian way.

    Sadly I think this story was another one to sideline Sam when there was absolutely no need to. He’s old enough to leave school and get a job on Earth before the New Mutants formed, and that was many years ago, so suggesting he was too young is absurd, especially as he’d just had the power boost of being able to absorb and redirect energy used against him, which I don’t think he’d ever been seen to do before (or possibly since).

    I think the decision was a petty one based, in story, on Gladiator’s injured pride. He knew that if he was fighting, then even just seeing Sam would make him doubt himself again and in a combat situation then that would be too much of a risk, but he could at least have been honest about it.

    And thank you for noting that this didn’t feel like a Phalanx story, because it always felt like a very hollow take on them. The Brood would have made much more sense, especially as an underlying story point of the entire Phalanx Covenant was that the Phalanx couldn’t assimilate human mutants.

  6. Further complicating the conversation on Shi’ar childbirth, Deathbird explicitly demonstrates atavisms, exhibiting traits that most Shi’ar have evolved away. So it’s also possible they used to give live birth, but don’t anymore.

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