As Mentioned – Page 30 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 177 – The Less You Know

December 18, 2017 Jay 3 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Luckily for Terrence, the actual X-Men were ALSO lurking by the playground! (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)

“Look, to be honest, several of us are DEFINITELY not trustworthy.” (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)

“Also, would you say that your kidneys are in good condition?” (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)

BEAST, NO. (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)

Gambit is definitely the Least Safe X-Man. (Be X-Tra Safe With Blockbuster KidPrint and the X-Men)

So, that’s a thing that exists. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)

Circle of Death time is the best time! (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)

Evolution in action. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)

I absolutely do not believe that you did not see anyone unusual at a state fair. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)

They’re so bad at not being menacing. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)

“He sees you forever and ever, Alan!” (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)

This panel is amazing. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)

“Let us never speak of today again.” (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)

The contents of one of the greatest minds on Earth. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)

This is a fundamentally self-defeating activity page, and also a really boring connect-the-dots puzzle. (The Uncanny X-Men at the State Fair of Texas)

Let’s just assume that it’s a slow news day. (Smokescreen)

Centaur? Immortal Iron Fist? WHY NOT BOTH? (Smokescreen)

Kids can’t resist a plaid vest. (Smokescreen)

“So… what you’re basically saying is that he’s a teenager?” (Smokescreen)

She still gets taken out like a chump, though. (Smokescreen)

“Hey, wanna see some of his shrink’s notes, while we’re grossly violating his privacy?” (Smokescreen)

MARK TRAIL, NO! (Smokescreen)

oh my god look at this asshole (Smokescreen)

“Tell me, Bret, how much do you know about the migratory patterns of mallard ducks?” (Smokescreen)

That is certainly one way to do a thing. (Smokescreen)

NEXT EPISODE: Giant-Size Winter Special!

As Mentioned in Episode 176 – My Flashback With Andre

December 10, 2017 Jay 8 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

This guyyyyyyyyy! (Wolverine #48)

JUBILEE, NO. God, she’s not even wearing any safety gear. (Wolverine #48)

That, Jubilee, is a Lotus 7. Your mentor’s car. Not as clumsy or overwrought as a DeLorean. An elegant media reference… for a more civilized age. (Wolverine #48)

THAT IS A TERRIBLE WAY TO SHOW SOMEONE THE GUN YOU FOUND. (Wolverine #48)

Actually, Jubilee, Wolverine is 100% in the right here. (Wolverine #48)

No one should ever make this show under any circumstances. (Wolverine #48)

Spoiler: No funky butts are in fact dispensated. (Wolverine #48)

Toldja! It’s Lee Harvey Oswald and Jack Ruby! (Wolverine #49)

WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST WRITE HER NAME FIRST? IT WOULD HAVE FIT! (Wolverine #49)

The calendar is a little silly, but it’s also an incredibly eerie, cool detail. (Wolverine #49)

“I am not a number! I am a free man!” (Wolverine #49)

Sure, it’s a gimmick; but it’s a cool gimmick! (Wolverine #50)

LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL, RIDICULOUS BASTARD AND HIS BEAUTIFUL, RIDICULOUS MOTORCYCLE. (Wolverine #50)

In Hines’s defense, Canada-616 is absolutely terrible. (Wolverine #50)

…and you, in turn, watch the Hydra operatives; as the NSA watches you; and… (Wolverine #50)

I take this to mean that somewhere there’s a splinter universe where Wolverine had an idyllic but ultimately tragic dalliance with a giant artichoke. (Wolverine #50)

HOW MANY YEARS HAS THAT PIECE OF CAKE BEEN SITTING THERE? (Wolverine #50)

I like the idea that the BIG SECRET isn’t that they faked his memories but that they had to reuse sets because of budget constraints. (Wolverine #50)

Sure you are, buddy. (Wolverine #50)

TWIST! (Wolverine #50)

I appreciate the implication that the ultimate horror is a high school prom. (Wolverine #50)

Aw, Logan. Never change. (Wolverine #50)

NEXT EPISODE: Centaur fight at the State Fair (and other educational adventures)!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING

We were on Oregon Public Broadcasting’s State of Wonder! Listen to the episode–and discover a bunch of cool Oregon-based podcasts–here!
Hear all about Wolverine’s terrible birthdays in Episode 113 – Play It Again, Patch.
Brush up on Weapon X in Episode 162 – Naked in Canada.

As Mentioned in Episode 175 – Lady Windermere’s Fan Club

December 3, 2017 Jay One comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

This series should really be more fun than it is. (X-Men: True Friends #1)

“On one hand, you’re probably doomed. On the other hand, I did your laundry!” (X-Men: True Friends #1)

Excalibur is SUPER into trad night. (X-Men: True Friends #1)

Turning every head… except the one she wants to. (X-Men: True Friends #1)

Rachel Summers: master of subtlety. (X-Men: True Friends #1)

The absence of Dr. Druid from this story is really inexcusable. (X-Men: True Friends #1)

Lilibet wants nothing to do with that ludicrous accent. (X-Men: True Friends #1)

It wouldn’t be a Claremont book without an aviation lesson! (X-Men: True Friends #1)

Ugh. THAT guy. (X-Men: True Friends #2)

FUN FACT: We learned after recording this episode that Edward and Wallis were SUPER into fascism. NOT COOL. (X-Men: True Friends #2)

Laird Hetero McNonthreatening and his amazing Hypercolor kilt! (X-Men: True Friends #2)

AND THEN THIS HAPPENED. (X-Men: True Friends #2)

“If only my bones were made out of something super dense that made me useless underwater, amirite?” (X-Men: True Friends #2)

Hiiiii, Logan. (X-Men: True Friends #2)

“I’ll go kill the Nazis. You kids hang out under the dock and neck, or whatever.” (X-Men: True Friends #2)

He is a man of simple pleasures. (X-Men: True Friends #2)

Welcome to the time loop! Hope you survive the… oh. OH. Sorry. (X-Men: True Friends #3)

Oh, man. (X-Men: True Friends #3)

Don’t fuck with Kitty Pryde. (X-Men: True Friends #3)

I would read the HELL out of a comic about these three. (X-Men: True Friends #3)

This is the best costume Kitty Pryde will ever have, hands down. (X-Men: True Friends #3)

Yaaaawn. (X-Men: True Friends #3)

“Well, I do like redheads…” (X-Men: True Friends #3)

I don’t know what the Sword of Scone is, but it sounds DELICIOUS. (X-Men: True Friends #3)

I really love that the Phoenix Force has defeated Nazis with the power of queerness on AT LEAST TWO DISTINCT OCCASIONS. (X-Men: True Friends #3)

“They’re not corgis, but we suppose that they’ll have to do.” (X-Men: True Friends #3)

NEXT EPISODE: This guy.

As Mentioned in Episode 172 – The Muir Island Saga, Part 1

November 12, 2017 Jay One comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

But what if his dialogue also had its OWN tiny captions? (Uncanny X-Men #278)

“And that one dude from Final Fight will help me!” (Uncanny X-Men #278)

But whom could this mysterious stranger be? (Uncanny X-Men #278)

LOOK AT THIS EVIL FASHION QUEEN (Uncanny X-Men #278)

There is nothing okay happening here. (Uncanny X-Men #278)

Here, on the other hand, everything is beautiful and nothing hurts. (Uncanny X-Men #278)

That’s not… I mean… you know what? Never mind. (Uncanny X-Men #278)

AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (Uncanny X-Men #278)

Honestly, there are so many answers to that question. (Uncanny X-Men #279)

His other power is flashbacks. (Uncanny X-Men #279)

And with that, Chris Claremont flew off into space, to explore new horizons. (Uncanny X-Men #279)

Say what you want about her morals; Evil Rogue has a pretty rad costume. (Uncanny X-Men #279)

OH, HELL, YEAH! (Uncanny X-Men #279)

X-Factor’s New Wave era was brief but distinctive. (X-Factor #69)

It really never gets any more okay, does it? (No.) (X-Factor #69)

Why does Reisz suddenly have red hair? WHO KNOWS? IT’S A MYSTERY! (X-Factor #69)

AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (X-Factor #69)

The Art of War involves some remarkably specific ruminations on spandex. (X-Factor #69)

Wait for it… (X-Factor #69)

YES! (X-Factor #69)

Also 2017 in a nutshell. (X-Factor #69)

WELL, THAT CAN’T BE GOOD. (X-Factor #69)

NEXT EPISODE: Don’t smoke, kids. (Also, the Muir Island Saga concludes.)

LINKS & FURTHER READING

Miles talked about Thor: Ragnarok on Panel on Panels #143!
The Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men Wiki
Roland Hedley, Jr. meets X-Factor

As Mentioned in Episode 171 – Badly Punctuated Equilibrium

November 12, 2017 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! https://xplainthexmen.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/X170.mp3

Domestic bliss, X-Factor-style. (X-Factor Forever #1)

Aw, this guy. (X-Factor Forever #1)

Timmy’s grandmother has good judgment. (X-Factor Forever #1)

“Hey, kids! Have some flechettes!” (X-Factor Forever #1)

Dang. Good job, Hank. (X-Factor Forever #1)

“I did, however, find myself some sweet new glasses.” (X-Factor Forever #1)

Every drawing of Apocalypse’s face in this series is utterly delightful. (X-Factor Forever #2)

When writers no-prize the art… (X-Factor Forever #2)

DAMNIT, TIMMY. (X-Factor Forever #2)

Happy birthday, Timmy, I guess? (X-Factor Forever #2)

Well, THAT can’t be good. (X-Factor Forever #3)

This series makes a fairly good case for both mutant rights and subsidized childcare. (X-Factor Forever #3)

How you know it’s serious business. (X-Factor Forever #3)

I love that they have named and numbered all of their special moves. (X-Factor Forever #3)

“Dude, we are literally holding up one of those children, right here, in front of you.” (X-Factor Forever #3)

Well, shit. (X-Factor Forever #3)

Aw, man, this cover is so fun. (X-Factor Forever #4)

If only your boss listened to Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men. (X-Factor Forever #4)

X-Factor, doing what they do best! (X-Factor Forever #4)

BUT WHY ARE THEY ALL DRESSED UP? (X-Factor Forever #4)

Can we all just take a moment to enjoy Sinister’s deeply goofy face in this panel? (X-Factor Forever #4)

“Who’s on first,” Summers family edition. (X-Factor Forever #4)

Seriously, it’s a great reaction image. (X-Factor Forever #4)

Pretty much any variation on this panel will always get me straight in the feels. (X-Factor Forever #4)

“I dunno. What if we just, like, lob a baby at him?” (X-Factor Forever #5)

I just really like this panel. (X-Factor Forever #5)

“You didn’t tell me this was a VACATION,” said Cyclops. (X-Factor Forever #5)

NEXT EPISODE: The Muir Island Saga, and the secret origins of this nonsense!

As Mentioned in Episode 170 – Minor Punitive Heart Attacks

October 29, 2017 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Man, Excalibur, way to be jerks. (Excalibur #37)

If I had a dollar for every dream that had started this way… (Excalibur #37)

Spoiler: Nah. (Excalibur #37)

Kitty, you probably should’ve seen that coming. (Excalibur #37)

And now, some West Coast Avengers! (Excalibur #37)

The Lady of the… swimming pool? (Excalibur #37)

Convenient, that! (Excalibur #37)

Headcanon: He is definitely singing that music. (Excalibur #37)

Pietro’s not wrong; he’s just an asshole. (Excalibur #38)

Captain Britain, everybody. (Excalibur #38)

The heart of Limbo! (Excalibur #38)

“The reel, on the other hand…” (Excalibur #38)

“For me, it was Tuesday.” (Excalibur #39)

Bye, S’ym! (Excalibur #39)

And then everyone forgot he existed. (Excalibur #39)

Or maybe you should learn how meter works. Y’know, just a thought. (Excalibur #40)

Lockheed X-Plains Excalibur. (Excalibur #40)

Lockheed, NO. (Excalibur #40)

Aw. Dai Thomas has his moments. (Excalibur #40)

Spoiler: They do not kill him. (Excalibur #40)

The punchline is that they STILL haven’t figure out phones. (Excalibur #40)

This gag really never gets old. (Excalibur #41)

‘Kay. (Excalibur #41)

It’s always Inferno in here. (Excalibur #41)

This must be the best day of Dai Thomas’s life. (Excalibur #41)

Is it ever, though? (Excalibur #41)

THERE IS NO WAY THAT THAT WON’T BACKFIRE HORRIBLY. (Excalibur #41)

I like the idea that Cable is basically the X-Switchboard at this point. (Excalibur #41)

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor Forever!

As Mentioned in Episode 169 – Bad Kansas

October 29, 2017 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

SO, THAT’S GRAPHIC. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

Yeah, I’m with Phoenix on this one. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

Oh, that’s NEVER good. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

I’m not gonna say that Havok’s hat is the greatest abomination of this world, but it’s a pretty bad hat. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

Oh, that makes perfect… sense? (Excalibur: Weird War III)

Professor Xavier is a jerk. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

Seriously. Professor Xavier is a jerk. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

It’s hard to be a Phoenix host in a hell dimension. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

Those eyebrows, though. Daaaamn. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

Seriously, those things are off the rails. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

And then the Phoenix defeated the Nazis with the power of gayness. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

Well, that’s one way to do it. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

So, yeah. Giant Naked Cosmic Nazi Space Xavier. (Excalibur: Weird War III)

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! (New Mutants Summer Special)

Have we mentioned that Brett Blevins is a national treasure and must be protected at all costs? Brett Blevins is a national treasure and must be protected at all costs. (New Mutants Summer Special)

Aw, lurking moppets! (New Mutants Summer Special)

Warlock! We’ve missed you! (New Mutants Summer Special)

Well, that’s one way to make friends. (New Mutants Summer Special)

It’s… it’s… A METAPHOR! (New Mutants Summer Special)

Nothing familiar going on here… (New Mutants Summer Special)

Aw, Rahne. Every dang time. (New Mutants Summer Special)

Mookie has a bright future in P.R. (New Mutants Summer Special)

Welcome to Hunter S. Thompson’s Phantom Tollbooth! Meet Manufactured Consent… (New Mutants Summer Special)

…and a possibly-recognizable political figure. (New Mutants Summer Special)

Media literacy is the real superpower! (No, seriously; it’s really important.) (New Mutants Summer Special)

Somewhere, there’s a parallel universe where Brett Blevins is a really successful political cartoonist. (New Mutants Summer Special)

I’m not sure exactly what we’re supposed to get out of this panel. (New Mutants Summer Special)

This kid is so great. (New Mutants Summer Special)

And now, Situation Ethics! (New Mutants Summer Special)

Burn down the establishment, Mookie! Seize the means of production! (New Mutants Summer Special)

Well, that went some places. (New Mutants Summer Special)

Look, we never said it was a subtle story. (New Mutants Summer Special)

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur: The Fill-Ins!

As Mentioned in Episode 167 – Full Circle

October 15, 2017 Jay 5 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Dude, you literally gave Ship to X-Factor. (X-Factor #65)

Aw, buddy. (X-Factor #65)

Valid point. (X-Factor #65)

This makes NO SENSE given the original context of the quotation, and I’m irrationally upset about that. (X-Factor #65)

An entirely reasonable reaction to Archangel, TBH. (X-Factor #66)

How you can tell that Important Stuff Is Afoot. (X-Factor #66)

Meet Jen “Not Rachel Summers” Askani! (X-Factor #66)

And that’s why you always leave a note. (X-Factor #66)

Oof. (X-Factor #67)

Oh. Those guys. (X-Factor #67)

Nothing nice ever happens on the moon. (X-Factor #67)

Look at these beautiful weirdos! (X-Factor #67)

Okay, but those animals are creepy as hell. (X-Factor #68)

There are a lot of callbacks to the Dark Phoenix Saga in this story, but this is one of the best. (X-Factor #68)

OH, SNAP. (X-Factor #68)

It’s okay. You’ll get to raise him in the future, in a surprisingly good miniseries! (X-Factor #68)

And the Watcher gets the last word. (X-Factor #68)

Whilce Portacio and Jackson Guice’s unused cover for the original X-Factor #66. Thanks, Comic Book Resources!

And now, The Apocalypse Manifesto, which is not a manifesto at all, but whatever.

I’m not gonna write witty captions for all of these. Just read ’em if you feel like it.

Seriously.

It’s been a very long several weeks. Don’t judge me.

NEXT EPISODE: Live from NYCC, with Chris Claremont and Louise Simonson!

As Mentioned in Episode 166 – Proteus Has Two Mommies

October 1, 2017 Jay 7 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

“We don’t need no conservation of mass!” (New Mutants Annual #7)

Harness and Piecemeal. It only gets creepier from here. (New Mutants Annual #7)

This is definitely the last thing you see before you die. (New Mutants Annual #7)

Spoiler: Nope. (New Mutants Annual #7)

99% sure these dudes do not actually know how to play chess. (New Mutants Annual #7)

How great would it have been if Cable had made a Gulliver’s Travels joke? So great. (New Mutants Annual #7)

“Attack them with all your sound effects!” (New Mutants Annual #7)

Spoiler: They do, and it’s not. (New Mutants Annual #7)

OH, THANK GOD. (New Warriors Annual #1)

Piecemeal’s shirt is a little on-the-nose. (New Warriors Annual #1)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdJg6Duzzf4 (New Warriors Annual #1)

Namorita is great. (New Warriors Annual #1)

Oh, dear me. (New Warriors Annual #1)

I really like all the character-intro pages in this crossover. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)

Mother of the year, y’all. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)

You’re never too evil or too sexy for some good, old-fashioned filicide! (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)

You sure are, James. You sure are. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)

Inappropriate, Bobby. (X-Factor Annual #6)

None of my math textbooks were ever this psychedelic. (X-Factor Annual #6)

I briefly considered making this visual companion nothing but character-intro pages. (X-Factor Annual #6)

“Kings of Pain? Oh, yeah, isn’t that the crossover where Cyclops encourages a disturbed youth to commit suicide?” (X-Factor Annual #6)

(Nah, actually, he’s comparatively ethical about it; especially considering that the kid is technically already dead and has been for years.) (X-Factor Annual #6)

Okay, then. (X-Factor Annual #6)

NEXT EPISODE: Summers family bullshit on the moon!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men LIVE at New York Comic Con, with special guests Chris Claremont and Louise Simonson!
TEDxHarvardCollege
We met all-around rad dude Taki in Episode 106 – The X-Terminators!
We talked about Proteus in Episode 10 – Not All Mandroids!

As Mentioned in Episode 165 – Pop Rocks

September 24, 2017 Jay 5 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Triple gatefold? That’s a lot of gatefold! (Uncanny X-Men #275)

Oh, man, the Starjammers are so cool, even when they’re evil alien duplicates. (Uncanny X-Men #275)

And that was the end of Wolverine, forever. (Uncanny X-Men #275)

Not gonna lie: there are a LOT of splash pages and spreads in this visual companion. (Uncanny X-Men #275)

So many reasons, Banshee. (Uncanny X-Men #275)

I mean, technically Wolverine just won back her throne, but, whatever. (Uncanny X-Men #275)

Look at all those fancy X-Men! (Uncanny X-Men #275)

Wolverine parties like a Robert E. Howard protagonist. (Uncanny X-Men #275)

I know this is supposed to be sinister, but it’s also kind of hilarious. (You gotta imagine the YOINK SFX in the second panel.) (Uncanny X-Men #275)