Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

430 – The Bad Feelings Box

November 12, 2023 Jay 8 comments

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In which birds have no business in sex dreams; feelings are complicated and allegories are imperfect; Mystique made some valid points; Psycho-Man is good at UI; Callisto was right; and the label “Omega-level mutant” actually kind of makes sense.

X-PLAINED:

Psycho-Man
Malice (but not that one)
Hate Monger (but not that one)
Finding good comics from the ‘90s
Uncanny X-Men #359
X-Men / Fantastic Four Annual 1998
X-Men #79
The dead man’s hand
Dr. Aubrey Agee
Psi-War fallout
Dr. Bradley Beynon
Hadley the robot
Poker twinks
La Bludgeon
Psycho-Man’s Bad Feelings Box
An invisible bear trap
Marvel’s floating poker game
Officers Aguinal and Cleveland
Antagonists vs. villains
Omega-level mutants

NEXT EPISODE: The Generation X Underground Special, feat. Al Kennedy!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 429 – Slightly Sticky

November 5, 2023 Miles 2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

A goofy and fun cover for a goofy and fun comic. (X-Men Unlimited #20)

Poor Maxie… (X-Men Unlimited #20)

Poor Maxie!!! (X-Men Unlimited #20)

? indeed, Nettles. ? indeed. (X-Men Unlimited #20)

STOP HATIN’ (X-Men Unlimited #20)

I don’t think this Ferris wheel passed inspection. Or was ever inspected in the first place. (X-Men Unlimited #20)

Generation X’s greatest nemesis: a runaway Ferris wheel. (X-Men Unlimited #20)

Paige Guthrie would make a terrible babysitter. (X-Men Unlimited #20)

What was Penance doing in that closet? We’ll never know! (X-Men Unlimited #20)

And then a cop gaslit a child. (X-Men Unlimited #20)

A goofy and fun cover for a goofy and fun comic… again! (X-Men Unlimited #21)

Video rental store clerks: truly the absolute worst of humanity, apparently. (X-Men Unlimited #21)

HE’S HUGE! (X-Men Unlimited #21)

Friendship! (X-Men Unlimited #21)

John Henry Irons he ain’t. (X-Men Unlimited #21)

Gently punched by nostalgia. (X-Men Unlimited #21)

Halt, you men! (X-Men Unlimited #21)

Wolfsbane’s like the kid who clearly put together their science fair project the night before the science fair. (X-Men Unlimited #21)

Party one… (X-Men Unlimited #21)

…party two. (X-Men Unlimited #21)

And then Jay exploded. (X-Men Unlimited #21)

The hero we need! (X-Men Unlimited #21)

It’s a Dracularmy! (X-Men Unlimited #21)

Guido’s going to be telling this story for the rest of his life. (X-Men Unlimited #21)

The X-Factor denouement we never got. (X-Men Unlimited #21)

NEXT EPISODE: The X-Men team up with the Fantastic Four!

429 – Slightly Sticky

November 5, 2023 Miles 15 comments

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In which you should stop hatin’, there’s a big difference between fill-ins and filler, Snow Valley needs higher Ferris wheel standards, Todd DeZago must really hate video rental clerks, and we’re all monsters – some of us just smell better than others.

X-PLAINED:

Strong Guy’s hellacious history
The nature and purpose of X-Men Unlimited
X-Men Unlimited #20-21
Rock Trolls (Chambliss, Nettles, and Munson)
What Asgard was up to in 1998
Magik vs magic
The Snow Valley Harvest Festival
Jubilation Lee, one of the guys
Eagles vs Hats
Fatman, Beardlady-o, Stickman-o, & Frogman-o
Tic Tac Toe fundamentals
Angry mobs
Paige Guthrie, Angry Mom
The many potential applications of Husk’s powers
Falls Edge, VA vs Eagle Ridge, WV
Payphones & video rental stores
X-friends
Rutland, VT (again)
Melvin J. Weals
Helen Back
The Donnybrook Country Club
Cat Fancier & Motorcycle Conventions
The Shi’ar Wardrobe Transmogrifier
Steel (the Shaq one)
The worst pun we’ve ever seen in a comic
Earth: the Hipster Planet
Which X-Men throw the best and/or wildest Halloween parties
Fan-casting X-voices

NEXT EPISODE: The X-Men team up with the Fantastic Four!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 428 – Naked in a Cake

October 22, 2023 Miles Leave a comment

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So who is that in the cake? (Excalibur #124)

A bridal shower! (Excalibur #124)

A bachelor party! (Excalibur #124)

Seriously, why is this a thing (Excalibur #124)

Yep, we’ve missed the Crazy Gang. (Excalibur #124)

Awk-ward (Excalibur #124)

To answer Suzy Eddie Izzard’s question: cake and death! (Excalibur #124)

And then Feron’s life got even worse. (Excalibur #124)

And a good time was had by all… especially Captain UK and Mimic, I assume. (Excalibur #124)

Love and chaos. (Excalibur #125)

Cameos! (Excalibur #125)

More cameos! (Excalibur #125)

I have questions about this pipe organ. (Excalibur #125)

Healthy… communication? Is that a thing in the Marvel Universe? Is that allowed? (Excalibur #125)

WHO INVITED THE NAZIS (Excalibur #125)

And have they ever earned it. (Excalibur #125)

Gatecrasher has the weeds! (Excalibur #125)

Lockheed, I know you want Piotr and Kitty to get together, but I assure you this will not work out. (Excalibur #125)

Nobody does wedding receptions like the Starlight Citadel of Otherworld. (Excalibur #125)

Man, that really is a shockingly tiny invitation. (Excalibur #125)

See, Feron? Just because everyone forgets about you doesn’t mean you have to jump out of a cake to try to murder people! (Excalibur #125)

Saturnyne, this is literally the worst possible time. (Excalibur #125)

Kurt, this is… also not a great time. (Excalibur #125)

Dammit, now I’m tearing up. (Excalibur #125)

And that, as they say, is that. (Excalibur #125)

NEXT TIME: X-Factor is back! Kind of!

428 – Naked in a Cake

October 22, 2023 Miles 9 comments

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In which you shouldn’t invite nazis to your wedding, there’s a lot of multiverse, Captain Britain and Meggan are pretty heteronormative but make it work, everybody forgot Feron, and the next husband will be Gatecrasher’s.

X-PLAINED:

Captain Britain varieties
The history of Brian Braddock and Meggan Puceanu, abridged
Excalibur #124-125
Mutants most likely to jump out of a cake
The Crazy Gang (again)
Meggan’s crush on Colossus
Colossus’s guilt about Meggan’s crush on Colossus
A surprise bridal shower
The return of Captain UK
Brian Braddock’s teetotaling techniques
Mimic’s ever-changing facial hair
Glorious, glorious chaos
Poor, poor Feron
Multiple awkward conversations
The return of Widget and also everyone else
Lightning Force (dammit)
A lengthy but not exhaustive list of Captains Britain
So many cameos
…Seriously, so many cameos
Dai Thomas’s anti-iron
Shockingly healthy communication
Bouquet brawls and garter gar-nage
A bittersweet ending
Nightcrawler’s best outfit
The universe where the X-Men X-Plain Jay & Miles
Our hypothetical post-finale Excalibur lineup

NEXT EPISODE: The return of X-Factor! Kind of!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 427 – Standard Deviation

October 22, 2023 Miles Leave a comment

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Why doesn’t Adam Pollina draw all the mythology? (X-Force #81)

Just another day for X-Force. (X-Force #81)

You could take away the word balloons and we’d still know so much about these characters just from their outfits and body language! (X-Force #81)

This panel doesn’t have much to do with continuity, but it sure is pretty. (X-Force #81)

Again: JUST ANOTHER DAY FOR X-FORCE (X-Force #81)

Siryn flirts. (X-Force #81)

“Your first clue should have been the rad halo-thing Adam Pollina drew behind me.” (X-Force #81)

We’ll miss you, Adam Pollina. Thanks for the memories. (X-Force #81)

Hi, Jesse Aaronson AKA Bedlam! Hi, Cait Sith! (X-Force #82)

I enjoy how “rebuilt from the brink of death” also translates to “wearing a super-cool set of insectoid armor.” (X-Force #82)

Pollina may be gone, but the action scenes are still pretty awesome. (X-Force #82)

Jesse, that is not how you give a massage. (X-Force #82)

“Sorry we’re late, it took us a while to adequately rip up our clothes.” (X-Force #82)

Yeah, okay – we love this guy. (X-Force #82)

Sam Guthrie X-Plains (his time on) the X-Men. (X-Force #83)

I think your guts may actually be tied up in abs, Sam. (X-Force #83)

Just enough of that yellow and purple left to still make them look like a team – and just enough folks without that uniform to make it clear how long it’s been since those days. (X-Force #83)

You may have thought we were being euphemistic when we said Jesse was sent off to live on a farm – but nope, actual farm. (X-Force #83)

Pig-riding blonde Lara Croft thinks these gentlemen make some excellent points. (X-Force #83)

This sentai team looks mean. (X-Force #84)

Loyalty, punching, and heroism. That’s our Sam. (X-Force #84)

It’s cool, Guthrie – not everyone can be photogenic. (X-Force #84)

Nobody ever gets to finish a conversation in the Marvel Universe. (X-Force #84)

Arcadia has the power to make people look really cool. (X-Force #84)

Jim Cheung does Jack Kirby. (X-Force #84)

NEXT EPISODE: The end of Excalibur!

427 – Standard Deviation

October 15, 2023 Jay 2 comments

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In which we have grown to love Adam Pollina; the Vanisher is delightfully awful; Ekaterina Gryaznova gets a new look; Domino rejoins X-Force; superheroes actually have a conversation instead of fighting; Cannonball rejoins X-Force; we don’t even remember recording this one; and something cool is coming (stay tuned).

X-PLAINED:

Arcadia DeVille
The Deviants
X-Force #81-84
What’s been up with X-Force
The goddess Pele and the heart thereof
Beachwear
An episode of The Brady Bunch
Krotok the Lava Man
Lava Men, in general
Gortokians
Jinku the Lava Man
A diabolical plan
Jesse Aaronson (Bedlam) (but not that one)
Terry and/or Christopher Aaronson
The Aguilar Institute
The Griffin (Ekaterina Gryaznova, again)
Infinite Guthries
Ulysses Dragonblood
Odysseus Indigo
Lucas Wyndham
M.U.S.E. (Mutant Underground Support Engine)
A very Summers situation
Foreshadowing
Whether Shard can (and should) be resurrected by the Five
Accidental foreshadowing

NEXT EPISODE: The end of Excalibur!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 426 – A Gift from the Lower Regions

October 9, 2023 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Karel’s planet may be far from Earth, but his people still appreciate a good Terminator 2 reference. (Uncanny X-Men #358)

Tu is a very Chris Bachalo character. (Uncanny X-Men #358)

Lookit this pulp hero-looking scallawag! (Uncanny X-Men #358)

They’re so dysfunctional. I love it. (Uncanny X-Men #358)

I TOLD YOU THE BEAR WAS CANON (Uncanny X-Men #358)

Deathbird is horny on main. (Team X 2000)

In the far future of 2018, it will be illegal to cover your navel. (Team X 2000)

It’s not Cable and Domino’s tub, but I suppose it’ll do. (Team X 2000)

Team X! (Team X 2000)

You know it’s a really dark future when Doom is fighting on the same side as the good guys (see also: Age of Apocalypse, the Summers Rebellion). (Team X 2000)

IT’S VERY SEXUAL (Team X 2000)

The more you know! (Team X 2000)

NEXT EPISODE: Domino rejoins X-Force!

426 – A Gift from the Lower Regions

October 8, 2023 Jay 6 comments

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In which the Shi’ar have zero chill; Bishop and Deathbird do space opera; we travel to the far-future year of 2018; Alanna Nerimani stretches the definition of “bird”; Deathbird is the cool aunt; Bishop needs a break from dark futures; and Bishop and Sauron have an intimate encounter.

X-PLAINED:

The current number of Summers brothers
Uncanny X-Men #358
Team X 2000
The Shi’ar Empire (more) (again)
Shi’ar voices
Parker Posey vs. Posie Parker
Sexual dimorphism in art
The Ursaa
Organs
The Chnitt
Karel
Several cameos
Nullifier charges
Tu
The first appearance of Cyclops’s Captain America teddy bear
2018
Alan Smithee
Gith
Deathbird’s terrible childhood
Shi’ar-occupied Earth
Alanna Nerimani
Your cool murder aunt
Earth-9922
Deathbird’s war journals
The Morlocks (but not those ones)
Team X (but not that one)
Bribery
A very sexual encounter
Explorations of disability and ableism in comics
Beast’s long, slow heel turn

NEXT EPISODE: Domino rejoins X-Force!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!