Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: charles xavier

26 – The Other Team America (featuring Chris Sims)

17 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne.
Art by David Wynne.

In which Danielle Moonstar is the Wolverine of the New Mutants, Henry Peter Gyrich is the Walter Peck of the Marvel Universe, Michael Rossi is no Peter Corbeau, Xavier is a Brood Queen (who is a jerk), Bob McLeod draws really good teenagers, the New Mutants do an after-school special, Chris Sims drops in for some emergency X-Plaining, Elsie Carson is the Harvey and Janet of Hydra, and Team America is generally sort of baffling.

X-Plained

  • Viper
  • Brood stuff
  • The original New Mutans (more) (again)
  • The New Mutants #1-6
  • Denial
  • Dani vs. the Danger Room
  • Mall stories
  • Neighborhood kids
  • Henry Peter Gyrich
  • Sebastian Shaw (again)
  • Project Wideawake (sort of)
  • Michael Rossi
  • A poorly-timed crossover
  • Gabrielle Haller
  • A profoundly unethical relationship
  • A Very Special Episode
  • Overkill
  • Magnum, P.I.
  • Team America (but not that one)
  • Elsie Carson, middle manager of Hydra
  • The Girl With the Silver Eyes
  • X-Men reading order

The visual companion for this episode will go up mid-week, due to New York Comic-Con generally kicking our asses (Among MANY other things, Rachel is tweeting–mostly cool X-cosplay pics–from the show floor, and Miles is working at the Dark Horse booth. Come say hi!). Meanwhile, for further supplemental material, we recommend reading Chris’s in-depth history of Team America:

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

As Mentioned in Episode 24 – Ororo, Queen of the Galaxy

18 comments

Listen to the episode here!

ORORO, QUEEN OF THE GALAXY, by David Wynne. (Prints available here until October 5.)
Lockheed vs. Pete Wisdom. (Excalibur #97)
Ironically, the thing she’s mad about might be the one time he actually isn’t, but the point stands in general. (X-Men #168)
Lockheed lurks. (X-Men #168)
This isn’t really relevant to the episode–we’re just hoping someone will use it as the basis for a Kitty Pryde magical-girl transformation sequence. (X-Men #168)
Scott and Lee: STILL AWESOME. (X-Men #168)
Before that one Hawkeye thing, there was this. (X-Men #168)
AWESOME TEAM-UP OF AWESOME. (X-Men #168)
But I think we all know the REAL point of X-Men #168. (We’re reviving this for this week’s art challenge – send your Kitty Pryde costume redesigns to xplainthexmen(at)gmail(dot)com!)
Very Nude Nightcrawler. (X-Men #169)
Dragon-sitting is basically the X-Men girlfriend test. (X-Men #169)
Remember that time X-Men straight-up did Barbarella? (Also the time Angel got pinned up by his wings in the Morlock tunnels. No, not that time. The other time.) (X-Men #169)
This cover is slashy in every sense of the word. (X-Men #170)
Well, then. (X-Men #170)
Remember that time Storm straight-up stabbed someone through the heart? BECAUSE THAT DEFINITELY HAPPENED. (X-Men #170)
And then Walt Simonson drew Storm, and we had Feelings. (X-Men #171)
Rogue also has feelings, but they’re less about the transcendent perfection of Simonson’s art than about her out-of-control powers. Sorry, Rogue. (X-Men #171)
Well, that escalated quickly. (X-Men #171)
This might be the most Rogue moment ever. (X-Men #171)
Remember that time Professor X was actually pretty fucking awesome? (X-Men #171)
For full effect, you have to imagine Wolverine’s lines in Steven Blum’s voice. I mean, you should really be doing that anyway. (X-Men #172)
YUKIO. Much, much more about her next week, but she’s the best. (X-Men #172)
For real, there is literally nothing you can say that will convince Rachel that these two are not TOTALLY DOING IT. (X-Men #173)
They really can’t kick her off the team after that. (X-Men #173)
BRB HAVING FEELINGS. (X-Men #173)
Oh. THAT asshole. (X-Men #173)
Meanwhile in Alaska, the most awkward meet-cute ever. (X-Men #168)
Here’s the thing about Scott and Madelyne: they’re actually kind of awesome together. Doomed, but awesome. (X-Men #170)
As a character who’s spent most of his life in a Claremont-written world, Scott is unfamiliar with the concept of coincidence. (X-Men #171)
Then, again, having spent years reading stories set in a Claremont-written world, we find it difficult to believe that this was actually just supposed to have been a coincidence. (X-Men #172)
Lilandra agrees. (X-Men #173)
HEPZIBAH, NEVER CHANGE. (X-Men #174)
This is funny because both of these relationships are super doomed. (X-Men #174)
A brief interlude of adorability from these goofy kids. (X-Men #174)
REMEMBER THAT PRIEST? Yeah. Totally Mastermind. God damnit, Mastermind. (X-Men #174)
Look, it’s a reasonable question under the circumstances. (X-Men #174)
Oh. (X-Men #174)
WELL, THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY. (X-Men #175)
Okay. This looks bad. (X-Men #175)
Really bad. (X-Men #175)
Really, really bad. (X-Men #175)
Cyclops-gritting-his-teeth-and-being-brilliant-in-the-face-of-impossible-odds is the best Cyclops. (X-Men #175)
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh. (X-Men #175)
Not elegant, but efficient. (X-Men #175)
This is a really good speech, as such things go, but it’s also really funny that he went to the graveyard in his tux. (X-Men #175)
And then they lived happily ever… oh. (X-Men #175)
Next week: Wolverine demonstrates the Inverse Ninja Law.

24 – Ororo, Queen of the Galaxy

12 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Stormerella print
Art by David Wynne.

In which Professor X is (canonically!) a jerk, Miles has Sidrian Hunter feelings, Kitty Pryde is Clarissa Darling with a dragon, we introduce a drinking game, the X-Men do Barbarella, Rachel has a ‘shipper moment, Rogue joins the team, Storm gets a haircut, Mastermind is still the worst, and Madelyne Pryor is underrated.

X-Plained:

  • Lockheed
  • Uncanny X-Men #168-175
  • Reset issues
  • A one-sided rivalry
  • The lowest-drama X-romance
  • The Cream of Wheat box as a metaphor for infinity
  • Kitty’s Kostume Korner
  • Rachel’s questionably-canon ships
  • The Morlocks
  • Class privilege and the mutant metaphor
  • Callisto
  • Caliban
  • Sunder
  • Plague
  • Masque
  • A dubbing error
  • Gender dimorphism in superhero media
  • Storm’s first major character arc
  • Our single favorite superhero artist
  • Rogue
  • Rogue’s accent
  • A Charles Xavier we can believe in
  • Yukio
  • Punk Storm
  • Madelyne Pryor
  • Closure
  • Cyclops vs. formalwear

Art Challenge: Send us your Kitty Pryde costume redesigns–any era, any codename–to xplainthexmen(at)gmail(dot)com

Next Week: Claremont and Miller’s Wolverine!

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

As Mentioned In Episode 23 – Meet the New Mutants

6 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne
Nova Roma. It’s probably best not to ask.
These kids!
It’s really convenient that Rahne landed in that particular position. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)
In which Moira MacTaggert is a stone cold badass. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)
Roberto da Costa is so very much Roberto da Costa. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)
He’s also Sunspot! (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)
Meanwhile, a disembodied hand has some opinions to share. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)
Sam Guthrie is such a good kid. Also nigh invulnerable when he’s blastin’! (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)
Danielle Moonstar is the best, and anyone who tells you otherwise is probably trying to sell something. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)
Xi’an Coy Mahn actually been around for a few issues–and made her debut in another title altogether–so she’s an old hand at this. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)
Aw, Bobby. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)
Sam is the nicest henchman ever, and we love him very much. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)
Donald Pierce knows he has standards to meet when it comes to villainous exposition. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)
Remember how Sam is the nicest henchman? (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)
Yeah. Sam is the nicest henchman. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)
Let’s break this down: Bobby’s room contains a pinup calendar and a framed photo of Wolverine; and his idea of heaven is a place where his dead girlfriend can watch him put on tights. Headcanon: Bobby’s secondary mutation is being the most 14-year-old boy of all the 14-year-old-boys, ever. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)
“It is time… FOR A CALLBACK TO MY FIRST APPEARANCE!” (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)
Danielle Moonstar is still the best, and Xavier is not actually a jerk in this book. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)
Aw, Sam. (Marvel Graphic Novel #4)
Over nearly a decade, the New Mutants will go from this… (New Mutants #21)
…to this. Marvel, this is why you can’t have nice things. (New Mutants #100)
In her first appearance, Lila Cheney steals and fences Earth. She is the interstellar bandit Joan Jett of the Marvel Universe, and she is wonderful. (New Mutants Annual #1)
The Hellions. They’re all super doomed. (New Mutants #17)
Next week: The X-Men do Barbarella.

23 – Meet the New Mutants

22 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne.
Art by David Wynne.

In which Rachel and Miles return triumphant, the X-Men get a second ongoing series, we hit peak Moira MacTaggert, R-A-H-N-E is definitely pronounced “rain,” Sam Guthrie is the nicest henchman, Claremont is hit-and-miss on cultural diversity, and Bobby da Costa is the teenageriest teenager of them all.

X-Plained:

  • Nova Roma
  • The New Mutants and The New Mutants
  • Marvel Graphic Novels
  • Greenberg the Vampire
  • call-backs
  • Karma
  • Wolfsbane
  • Sunspot
  • Cannonball
  • Mirage
  • Whitewashing in superhero comics
  • The mercurial Guthrie family
  • Xi’an the Obscure
  • The Dr. Claw Effect (and why Dr. Doom and Arcade are exceptions)
  • Donald Pierce
  • Eras of New Mutants
  • Lila Cheney
  • The Hellions

Next Week: The X-Men do Barbarella

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

As Mentioned in Episode 22 – Through Death and Through Life

8 comments

Listen to the episode here!

At some point, someone pointed out that this is technically Anniversary X, and it was a pretty slippery slope from there.
We are aware that our favorite romance has its share of detractors. We don’t care. (Art by David Wynne.)
Actual photograph of Rachel and Miles at their 8th-grade graduation dance. (X-Men #32)
This is literally as explicit a conversation they have about it for… pretty much the entire Silver Age. (X-Men #32)
Proposal #1. Unfortunately, Jean is a) actually the Phoenix Force, and b) about to die on the moon. (Uncanny X-Men #136)
Not directly pertinent, but it’s one of our favorite moments. (Uncanny X-Men #137)
Scott saying goodbye to Jean immediately before marrying Madelyne Pryor. That really, really didn’t work out, but we like the sentiment–that “true love” doesn’t always have to mean “one true love.” (Uncanny X-Men #175)
Scott doesn’t actually work out that Madelyne and Jean are identical until X-Factor #14. Headcanon: Hella prosopagnosia.
Scott and Jean are reunited in a panel that appears to have fled from Apartment 3-G to X-Factor #1.
Jean gets Madelyne and Phoenix’s memories–and her own telepathy–back. (X-Factor #38)
Proposal #2. (X-Factor #53)
Jean’s response. (X-Factor #53)
“Fatal Attractions” was a rough time for everyone, but probably worst for Wolverine. (X-Men vol. 2 #75)
Proposal #3, guest-starring John Romita, Jr.’s profoundly alarming faces. (Uncanny X-Men #308)
Fate can go fuck itself. Damn, we love these two. (Uncanny X-Men #308)
There is probably no other panel from the entire 50 years of X-Men that we’ve sent back and forth more than this one. (Uncanny X-Men #308)
He’s actually fighting some dude who broke into the X-mansion and bonding with his time-displaced kid, but the basic principle of failing-at-bachelor-party still stands. (Uncanny X-Men #310)
And now, the main event. (X-Men vol. 2 #30)
Andy Kubert x body language. (X-Men vol. 2 #30)
Charles Xavier of X-Men vol. 2 #30 is the best Charles Xavier.
He also has the best timing. (X-Men vol. 2 #30)
Look at all those X-Men. (X-Men vol. 2 #30)
Can we have a moment of silent appreciation for the fact that Storm managed to find a dress that perfectly encapsulates the 1990s? (X-Men vol. 2 #30)
Best vows? Best vows. (X-Men vol. 2 #30)
Scott, Jean, we’re gonna let you finish… (X-Men vol. 2 #30)
…but Rogue and Gambit’s kiss in X-Men vol. 2 #41 is the best kiss in X-Men.
September 4, 2014.

Links:

NEXT WEEK: Rachel and Miles are going on vacation. Read a book. WEEK AFTER NEXT: The New Mutants!

22 – Through Death and Through Life

24 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

scottandjeanv3_cropped
Art by David Wynne

In which Rachel and Miles celebrate an anniversary with a retrospective of one of the great romances of the Marvel universe; the Summers/Grey family tree is more of a transdimensional strawberry patch; the X-Men play some football; Professor Xavier is not a jerk; and Scott Summers and Jean Grey are the power couple of existentialism.

X-Plained

  • Summers kids
  • Scott and Jean
  • Feelings
  • X-Men #32
  • The worst date ever
  • Madelyne Pryor
  • Plot-relevant prosopagnosia
  • Three proposals
  • X-Factor #53
  • Uncanny X-Men #308
  • “Fatal Attractions”
  • That one panel that gets us every time
  • X-Men vol. 2 #30
  • Some really excellent wedding vows
  • The best kiss in X-Men
  • Cats Laughing
  • Why “One” is actually a pretty decent first dance
  • Existential ramifications of fictional romance

Next week: Rachel and Miles take a much-needed vacation.

Week after next: The New Mutants!

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

As Mentioned in Episode 20 – The Brood They Carried

9 comments

Listen to the podcast here!

WELL, THEN. (X-Men #161)
SPACE FASHION! (X-Men #161)
Stun bombs are to comics as knockout spray is to cartoons. (X-Men #161)
We really only included this to point out the smoke coming from Wolverine’s underwear. (X-Men #162)
And that’s how you do a cold open. (X-Men #162)
Remember this space whale. It’ll be important later. (X-Men #162)
So, that’s a little creepy, and… (X-Men #162)
…AUGH WAIT WHAT THE HELL?! (X-Men #162)
Fang just cannot catch a break. (X-Men #162)
This is one of very, very few times when Wolverine’s healing factor has been written as at all under his control. (X-Men #162)
How cool would it have been if he’d kept this look? Hint: So cool. (X-Men #162)
Fair warning: This visual companion is basically an excuse to post a lot of really awesome Carol Danvers moments. (X-Men #163)
Cyclops successfully completes TWO whole hugs during the Brood Saga! Also: space fashion. (X-Men #163)
So, THAT’S CREEPY. (X-Men #163)
Remember that thing about how this visual companion is mostly an excuse to post pictures of Carol Danvers being awesome? That. (X-Men #164)
ROCKET SHARKS. (X-Men #164)
Including this just for the dozen people who have written us to ask if Storm’s powers work in space (also covered in the Phoenix Saga, incidentally). (X-Men #164)
In which Claremont and/or Cockrum seem to forget that Kitty’s powers fry electrical systems. (X-Men #164)
BINARY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. (X-Men #164)
Imagine how much of Inferno could have been avoided if the Professor had decided to press this point. (X-Men #164)
AUGH GOD BINARY IS SO AWESOME. (X-Men #164)
Not that Cockrum’s not great, but can we have a moment of silence for how amazingly Neal Adams would’ve drawn this specific panel? (X-Men #164)
If you like the Brood Saga, you should be reading the current Captain Marvel series (and vice versa). This is very much the Carol Danvers of both. (X-Men #164)
That moment when the Brood Saga could’ve become a really heavy-handed reproductive-rights allegory, and we’re all really grateful that it didn’t. (X-Men #164)
Well, fuck. (X-Men #164)
Binary: Too awesome for your stupid airlock. (X-Men #164)
That time Moira MacTaggert manipulated Charles Xavier into starting a second ongoing X-book. (X-Men #165)
Welcome to X-Men, Paul Smith! Hope you survive the experience! (X-Men #165)
Faced with certain and inevitable death, the X-Men decide to go kill some Brood. (X-Men #165)
Rad bromance. (X-Men #165)
CORRECT CHOICE, COLOSSUS. (X-Men #165)
Remember that time Storm became a space whale and quoted Phoenix? (X-Men #165)
Seriously, though: Binary. (X-Men #166)
WELL, THEN. (X-Men #166)
Mostly in here to point out that Kitty’s impending death has not cooled her affection for the Shi’ar fashion machines. (X-Men #166)
Storm X-plains the Acanti, part one. (X-Men #166)
Storm X-plains the Acanti, part two. (X-Men #166)
Our episode outline addresses this panel as follows:
  • KITTY YOU ARE THE BEST NERD
  • DOES CYCLOPS WATCH STAR TREK? DISCUSS. SHOW YOUR WORK.
(X-Men #166)
(X-Men: Evolution Cyclops definitely watches Star Trek, for the record.)
In addition to the shocking reveal, this moment leads to one of stupidest and most avoidable minor continuity errors of the issue. (X-Men #166)
Best Brood moment? Best Brood moment. (X-Men #166)
LOCKHEED! (X-Men #166)
And they all lived happily ever after. (X-Men #166)
OH, WAIT. (X-Men #166)
Just in case you haven’t caught on to the fact that this is an extended thematic and structural riff on the Dark Phoenix Saga. (X-Men #167)
Can we talk about the New Mutants’ adorable collective crush on Magnum, P.I.? (X-Men #167)
THAT SUBTITLE. (X-Men #167)
Kitty’s got a new outfit. Take a drink. (X-Men #167)
Okay. This looks bad. (X-Men #167)
Speaking of the Dark Phoenix Saga… (X-Men #167)
Cyclops has a good day (and completes an unprecedented SECOND successful hug in the same story!), but this plot thread is going to lead straight to Madelyne Pryor, so, that’s probably a net loss. (X-Men #167)
That time Empress Lilandra projected into Reed and Sue Storm’s bedroom to scold them in the middle of the night. (X-Men #167)
Professor Xavier returns to life, and Kitty gets yet ANOTHER new outfit. Two drinks. (X-Men #167)
In which Kitty learns what the reader has known all along. (X-Men #167)
Next Week: Back to the Silver Age (and a very important retcon) with Kurt Busiek!

Further reading:

The Things They Carried, by Tim O’Brien.

20 – The Brood They Carried

21 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which Claremont levels up; the Brood are legitimately scary; Colossus is an ethical dude; Nightcrawler and Wolverine share beers in the face of certain death; Storm turns into a space whale; we are Carol Corps for life; New Mutants are really into Magnum, P.I.; Kitty meets a dragon; and Xavier dies (again).

X-Plained:

  • Broo
  • The Brood Saga (X-Men #161-167)
  • Paul Smith
  • Space fashion
  • A really terrible awards ceremony
  • Tim O’Brien’s X-Men
  • The Brood
  • How to tell a good Wolverine story
  • Rocket sharks
  • The single most badass magical-girl transformation sequence of all time
  • Binary
  • The X-Men’s Kobayashi Maru
  • Friendship (more) (again)
  • The Acanti
  • Whether Cyclops watches Star Trek
  • The New Mutants
  • Cloning
  • Our secret cold-open formula
  • Cosmic crossovers

Next Week: Kurt Busiek! We would have words with thee!

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

As Mentioned in Episode 16 – The Official Unofficial Not-at-SDCC (Rachel and Miles X-Plain the) X-Men Panel

25 comments

Listen to the episode here!

When we say that Quentin Quire has the same fashion sense as Rachel, this is not what we’re talking about. (Wolverine and the X-Men #3)
Seriously. She’s never going to take it off again.
YAYBO! Thanks to your support, we’ve unlocked a bunch of very cool milestone goals on Patreon, from weekly video reviews of current X-books, to original illustrations, written posts, giant-size semiannuals, and more!
Why we can’t have nice things. (House of M #7)
As promised, from Uncanny X-Men #497.
Cyclops seems to like the premise of Schism about as much as we do.
We were going to photoshop word balloons in so Cap was yelling “What are we fighting about, again?” and Cyclops was yelling, “I have no idea!” but we ran out of time, so I guess just take that as read.
Yeah, that’ll end well, Iron Man. (Avengers vs. X-Men #5)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (Avengers vs. X-Men #11)
This moment has shown up in flashbacks in something like four books so far this month, so it’s probably gonna be PRETTY RELEVANT in the near future. (Avengers vs. X-Men #11)
Pretty much everything you need to know about Battle of the Atom. (Wolverine and the X-Men #37)
This was the only yearbook photo we could find with both of us in it. TRIVIA: Can you spot the other current comics-industry pro in this photo?
Aw, bros. (Wolverine and the X-Men #40)
Oh, that’ll be awkward. (Uncanny X-Men #23)
There are… kind of a lot of X-Men books currently coming out.
A reasonably comprehensive list of current X-titles.
We are 100% with Cyclops on this. (Wolverine and the X-Men #40)
Heh. (Schism #1)
Next week: Rogue! And space adventures! And Carol Danvers!
Also next week: Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men on Comics Alliance! It’ll go up here, as well as iTunes and Stitcher, at the usual time, but you’ll also be able to catch new episodes every Thursday at ComicsAlliance.com!
Bonus not-at-SDCC cosplay pics: Miles as Starman…
…and Rachel as space-pirate-in-a-polo-shirt teenage Cyclops.

Links: