Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Phoenix

As Mentioned in Episode 161 – Do You Even Howl, Bro?

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
FlameCon Saturday: ABD Squad! (Yes, Tea’s shirt says what you think it does. Yes, Jay’s hands light up. Yes, we think we’re funny.)
FlameCon Party: Billy and Teddy from Young Avengers #15
FlameCon Sunday: Mod Silver Age Emma and Scott.
Excalibur #32
Not unprecedented, until you realize that the whole thing is a fantasy Margaret Thatcher is having in therapy. (Excalibur #32)
YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN?! (Excalibur #32)
Don’t mess with Kitty’s crushes. She’ll cut you. (Excalibur #32)
That is PERFECTLY RESPECTABLE penmanship, thank you very much. (Excalibur #32)
Welcome to St. Subtext’s School for Young Ladies. (Excalibur #32)
(Excalibur #33)
“Also, I’m a superhero.” (Excalibur #33)
(Excalibur #34)
“But you can call me… MR. RAD!” (Excalibur #34)
Let the hijinks commence! (Excalibur #34)
Well, that could’a gone worse. (Excalibur #34)
‘Kay. (Excalibur #34)
Seriously, if I had a dollar for every time I’d woken up like this… (Excalibur #32)
TOO SOON, MESMERO. (Excalibur #33)
Do those abs go all the way… wait, no, that doesn’t even make sense. (Excalibur #33)
But if he can hypnotize her just by making eye contact, why bother doing this? Just to mess with her for fun? Total dick move.(Excalibur #33)
[Ron Howard voice]: There were mistakes. (Excalibur #33)
Oh, great. These assholes, again. (Excalibur #34)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (Excalibur #34)
GOOD JOB, EVERYBODY! (Excalibur #34)
Trust me, they’re delightful together. (Excalibur #35)
Well, that escalated quickly. (Excalibur #35)
Aw, kiddo. (Excalibur #35)
Right. That guy. (Excalibur #35)
“But not the one from Alaska. The indefinite article.” (Excalibur #35)
And they all lived grumpily ever after. (Excalibur #35)
Our hero! (Excalibur #36)
It’s a nuanced issue, okay? (Excalibur #36)
This is why we can’t have nice… uncontrolled nuclear things? (Excalibur #36)
Best fight dialogue? Best fight dialogue. And check out that word-balloon cut! (Excalibur #36)
We certainly did not see that coming. (Excalibur #36)
And it DIDN’T ONCE OCCUR TO YOU that this might end badly? (Excalibur #36)
I have no idea what the moral of this story is, but it’s sort of heartwarming anyway. (Excalibur #36)
NEXT EPISODE: The angriest naked man!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

161 – Do You Even Howl, Bro?

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we return to Excalibur, and Excalibur returns to form; “Girls’ School from Heck” is way better than we remembered; Jay has strong feelings about penmanship; we examine the semantics of field hockey; the band gets back together; Dai Thomas has no time for your comic-book bullshit; and you should never, ever install a good/evil switch in your technological abominations.

X-PLAINED

  • The first appearances of Colonel Vazhin
  • Perks of home recording
  • FlameCon 2017
  • Jay & Miles at Rose City Comic Con
  • Excalibur #32-36
  • “Girls’ School from Heck!”
  • St. Searle’s School for Young Ladies
  • St. Trinian’s and a large number of references thereto
  • Regional variations in boarding school hijinks
  • Miss Rutherford
  • A poorly staged panel
  • Phoebe Huntsman
  • Kitty Pryde’s penmanship
  • Margaret Thatcher’s weirdly wholesome fantasies
  • The kinda-reformation of Mesmero
  • The end of Chris Claremont’s run on Excalibur
  • Some complicated contradictions related to the ethics of consumption
  • An abduction
  • The ethics of psychic interrogation (kinda)
  • Mariner disambiguation
  • A rescue
  • An unlikely partnership
  • Darkmoor Research Center
  • Dr. Walshe
  • A somewhat convoluted plot
  • Whether the Danger Room could function as a bathroom
  • The physics of Asteroid M

NEXT EPISODE: Weapon X!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Special thanks to Gavia Baker-Whitelaw for helping us assemble the St. Searle’s marginalia!

As Mentioned in Episode 153 – Mermaid Parade

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Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!
These two have their moments. (Excalibur #28)
Aw. (Excalibur #28)
“I’m Brian’s significantly more fashion-forward brother.” (Excalibur #28)
…’kay. (Excalibur #28)
Well, then. (Excalibur #28)
I don’t know what you do in fights, but… (Excalibur #28)
Man, these Sweet Valley High novels are getting weird. (Excalibur #28)
The Excalibur #29 wall of shame.
Not every day. Just, y’know, most days. (Excalibur #29)
HEY, KIDS! COMICS! (Excalibur #29)
I just. Wow. (Excalibur #29)
Okay, so, that’s a pretty cool layout.
NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE (Excalibur #29)
Breakfast with Excalibur is aggressively informal. (Excalibur #29)
Alysande “I knew I’d have been better off staying home and drinking” Stuart. (Excalibur #30)
Not mentioning W.H.O. here was kind of a waste. (Excalibur #30)
And then Captain Britain got his ass kicked by the elderly. (Excalibur #30)
Good dog. (Excalibur #30)
These delightful scamps! (Excalibur #30)
[Insert Second Coming joke here.] (Excalibur #31)
I really hope they never stop bringing that up, because it never stops being funny. (Excalibur #31)
Um. Can we… maybe not? (Excalibur #31)
LOOK AT THIS GOOFY TURTLE-LOOKING DUDE (Excalibur #31)
They’re about as effective as they look. (Excalibur #31)
NEXT EPISODE: Talking Iceman with Sina Grace!

153 – Mermaid Parade

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Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!

In which Miles gets an etymology lesson; Nightcrawler is the most dateable guy in the X-Universe; Meggan is basically all the cryptids; Michael Higgins must be stopped; Alistair Stuart is terrible at adulting; we really hope Brian wasn’t too attached to that airplane; and in retrospect, there probably should have been a Spalding Gray joke in there somewhere.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Montesi Formula
  • Excalibur #28-31
  • The Gilded Lady
  • The quintessential post-college experience
  • The word “cooter”
  • Relative gullibility
  • A generally unacceptable issue
  • Loungewear
  • Vampires, kind of
  • Some uncomfortably colonial imagery
  • Krakoa, Jr.
  • The Vega Men
  • The aftermath of Axis
  • Colossus’s probable politics

NEXT EPISODE: Talking Iceman with Sina Grace!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

152 – Ghosts of Future Present

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Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!

In which Franklin Richards makes everything more complicated; Reed Richards is a terrible parent; Days of Future Present is a surprisingly good ghost story; Valeria Richards is awesome (but does not appear in this crossover); everyone’s got hounds these days; Banshee is your sad cyborg dad; Phoenix has a lot of feelings; and X-Factor once again manages to up the ante for child endangerment.

X-PLAINED:

  • Nightcrawler’s brief clerical career
  • Days of Future Present
  • Annuals, in general
  • Some extraordinarily specific Namor headcanon
  • Fantastic Four Annual #23
  • New Mutants Annual #6
  • X-Factor Annual #5
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual #14
  • Franklin Richards
  • Several statuses quo
  • The reproductive potential of Doombots
  • Ms. Marvel (Sharon Ventura)
  • Ahab
  • A Code Red Time Emergency
  • One of Jay’s dream pitches
  • Your sad cyborg dad
  • The worst tea party
  • One hell of a kiss
  • Robocop vs. Terminator

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur gets eclectic!

The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 146 – Asshole Factor

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Art by David Wynne. Buy prints at Redbubble, or contact David to purchase the original!
This Sidney Poitier movie has taken an unexpected turn. (Excalibur #25)
Chris Wozniak is not Alan Davis; but then, few are. (Excalibur #25)
Death, Death, Death, and Death. (Excalibur #25)
This cannot possibly end badly, right? (Excalibur #26)
Dark Phoenix Saga callback! (Excalibur #26)
Days of Future Past callback! We’re hitting all the classics this issue! (Excalibur #26)
The best ruse. (Excalibur #26)
“…you asshole.” (Excalibur #26)
Oh, man. Barry Windsor-Smith and Bill Sienkiewicz should draw all the reality warpers. (Excalibur #27)
Nigel is just incredibly persistently awful. (Excalibur #27)
Even odds that they’ll be legitimately intimidated by Vixen’s killer abs. (Excalibur #27)
Meanwhile in Nth Man… (Excalibur #27)
Excalibur in a nutshell. (Excalibur #27)
‘Kay. (Excalibur #27)
I appreciate the de facto citation. (Excalibur #27)
NEXT EPISODE: Yep.

 

146 – Asshole Factor (feat. Elisabeth Allie)

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Art by David Wynne. Buy prints at Redbubble, or contact David to purchase the original!

In which Elisabeth plans for her reign as Omniversal Majestrix; Hulks and moons are two great tastes that go great together; Nightcrawler takes the lead; Alastair gets a new gadget; it’s just not a cosmic event without Alan Davis; Mastermind is still the absolute worst; Excalibur fixes problems by playing dress-up; Moira MacTaggert desperately needs to hire some staff; and Jamie Braddock is legitimately terrifying.

X-PLAINED:

  • M’gubgub
  • Nth Man
  • Excalibur #25-27
  • Nova (Frankie Raye)
  • The continually poor decisions of Brian Braddock
  • A convergence of cosmic forces
  • Lumberjack Death
  • Character growth both literal and metaphorical
  • A cosmic snit
  • Asshole Factor
  • A villainous ruse
  • Several rounds of reality warping
  • Definitive incarnations of characters

NEXT EPISODE: Rictor has issues!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on the blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 143 – Seduction of the Innocent

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Illustration by David Wynne
Crusader X has a somewhat expanded power set. (Excalibur #21)
Whatthewho, now? (Excalibur #21)
Okay, but that’s actually a pretty rad outfit. (Excalibur #21)
Or any of a large number of other supervillains, but, y’know. (Excalibur #21)
Okay, this Earth’s Hellfire Club is WAY creepier than the one on 616. (Excalibur #21)
So close, and yet so far… (Excalibur #21)
Well, damn. (Excalibur #21)
More X-analogues from Earth-2122. (Excalibur #22)
Well, no, but… (Excalibur #22)
The personification of a dropped plot thread. (Excalibur #22)
Aw, these wacky kids. (Excalibur #22)
ALAN DAVIS! WE MISSED YOU! (Excalibur #23)
The evil trinity. I would totally read an ongoing comic about these three. (Excalibur #23)
One more evil Illyana, just for fun. (Excalibur #23)
Justicer Bull! (Excalibur #23)
That last word balloon, tho. (Excalibur #23)
This is the last Evil Illyana panel. We promise. BUT IT’S SO AWESOME. (Excalibur #23)
Well. That’s… unambiguous. (Excalibur #24)
Meanwhile… (Excalibur #24)
THOSE MATCHING HAIR SWOOPS! (Excalibur #24)
It’s okay. She just sends ’em home. (Excalibur #24)
“I got just what I wanted! SUBTEXT!” (Excalibur #24)
NEXT EPISODE: 2017 Winter Special, featuring Kid Apocalypse and (hopefully) Dennis Hopeless!

143 – Seduction of the Innocent

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Art by David Wynne.

In which the Cross-Time Caper has finally outstayed its welcome; we bid a reluctant farewell to Alan Davis; Inferno may or may not finally actually be over; Evil Doug Ramsey rocks our socks; the Shadow King is not a particularly nuanced villain; Kitty Pryde celebrates a birthday; and Courtney Ross represents an awful lot of dangling plot threads.

X-PLAINED:

  • Nocturne
  • Excalibur #21-24
  • The end of the Cross-Time Caper
  • Post-Alan Davis Excalibur
  • Chris Wozniak
  • Crusader X
  • Earth-2122
  • How to track Excalibur
  • Phoenix-related telepathic idiosyncracies
  • Our general indifference to the Shadow King
  • An alternate history of Earth-811
  • Earth-23238
  • An extended Judge Dredd riff
  • Puberty
  • Another John Byrne cameo
  • Several variations on Courtney Ross
  • Kitty Pryde’s 15th birthday
  • Nightcrawler’s beard
  • The Siege Courageous

NEXT EPISODE: Giant-Size Winter Special, featuring Kid Apocalypse & Dennis Hopeless!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 142 – The Monster at the End of This Comic

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Art by David Wynne. Buy prints at Redbubble, or contact David to purchase the original!
Apocalypse using his powers: never not funny.(X-Factor #51)
Ship, no. (X-Factor #51)
Meet Opal Tanaka, your new favorite X-Factor supporting character! (X-Factor #51)
HE’S SO FULL OF FEELINGS, YOU GUYS (X-Factor #51)
I know it’s not supposed to be funny, but it really is. (X-Factor #52)
We’ve all basically been on this date, right? (X-Factor #52)
Terry Shoemaker’s Bobby Drake is delightful. (X-Factor #52)
Hiiiiii, The Locust. (X-Factor #52)
And again: Clearly not supposed to be comical, and yet… (X-Factor #52)
Aw, these two. (X-Factor #53)
Well, that’s awkward. (X-Factor #53)
Jean Grey: striding into the future with two middle fingers raised to fate. (X-Factor #53)
And now for something completely different! (X-Factor #55)
Perfect moment is perfect. (X-Factor #55)
Wellp. (X-Factor #55)
He’ll turn out to have been an Infectia monster and therefore doomed anyway, but that doesn’t really change the fact that Beast just kicked a dude in front of a train. (X-Factor #55)
NEXT EPISODE: Happy birthday, Kitty! HAVE SOME MORE SUBTEXT!

FURTHER LISTENING:

  • For more on Scott and Jean’s Central Park conversation (and an especially ironic listen this week), check out Episode 22 – Through Death and Through Life!