Phoenix – Page 5 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

417 – Pterodactyl with a Gun

July 16, 2023 Jay 10 comments

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In which you, too, can use Cerebro; Jubilee is here, for some reason; the Xavier School should absolutely not be accredited; Hulk Hands would solve many of Rogue’s problems; Sauron gets a gun; Psylocke pulls a Lois Lane maneuver; you really shouldn’t spring a Phoenix costume on anybody; Joseph has (another) identity crisis; and Canada has problems.

X-PLAINED:

Miles at SDCC
Uncanny X-Men #353-355
X-Men #73
A running motif
Wolverine’s sons
Margaret Stone
“fun”
The location of the original X-jet
A red herring
Sauron (more) (again)
Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy… in space!
How to ship a pterodactyl
Mighty appendages
The Agee Institute
Boundaries
Wallpaper
Joseph (more) (again)
New Year’s Resolutions
Sebastian Shaw and his wraith buddy (again)
The X-Men’s answering machine
What Wolverine does
Alpha Flight
Canada problems
A crossover
Phoenix problems
Jean Grey’s ‘90s costume
Found families
What makes the Dark Phoenix Saga an X-Men story

NEXT EPISODE: Reignfire, resolved!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 412 – Yappin’ and Scrappin’

May 28, 2023 Miles 2 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

And then Cyclops left for Alaska again. (X-Men #71)

Dark Phoenix athleisure! (X-Men #71)

As Piglet and Tigger slowly back away… (X-Men #71)

The past didn’t go anywhere. (X-Men #71)

Between Kelly and Pacheco, that is a hell of a compelling conversation. (X-Men #71)

So, how was the trip to Counter-Earth? What was your favorite part? Didja bring us anything? (X-Men #71)

Battle of the gross bone-spikes (X-Men #72)

Marrow’s online handle is xXBloodReaper69Xx (X-Men #72)

Not a good look, Ororo. (X-Men #72)

Fun fact: every case study in Miles’s college neuropsychology text book was about a brain injury from a motorcycle accident! (Uncanny X-Men #351)

“It’s a hypnotic pterodactyl wearing jorts in a metal box, obviously!!! (Uncanny X-Men #351)

To be fair, they don’t look very nice. (Uncanny X-Men #351)

And yet, Pyro’s insurance company still would have encouraged him to go to Urgent Care instead. (Uncanny X-Men #351)

Where’s Waldo? (Uncanny X-Men #351)

Cecilia has no time for Daredevil’s bullshit… and Daredevil has a lot of bullshit. (Uncanny X-Men #351)

Jay and Miles after recording an episode. (Uncanny X-Men #351)

Oh no (Uncanny X-Men #352)

“Honey, I think the new neighbors may be… weird.” (Uncanny X-Men #352)

“…ya dick.” (Uncanny X-Men #352)

ZIELL ZIELL (Uncanny X-Men #352)

Does “evil custodians” belong in r/rareinsults or r/brandnewsentence? (Uncanny X-Men #352)

Then panel below this shows Miles’s face melting into that time he accidentally deleted his Final Fantasy VI save right after unlocking the Paladin Shield. (Uncanny X-Men #352)

See you in the desert, Sam! (Uncanny X-Men #352)

Jean Grey, action hero! (Uncanny X-Men #352)

It… it’ll be fine. Yeah, fine. Probably. (Uncanny X-Men #352)

NEXT TIME: X-Force goes to Burning Man!

Links & Further Reading

The Cyclops Cycle: A Heroic Crown of Sonnets by Brian Mackenwells

412 – Yappin’ and Scrappin’

May 28, 2023 Miles 7 comments

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In which Kelly and Seagle’s X-runs begin with immense promise; dark psychic residue gets just everywhere; Storm’s past is literally buried; Wolverine is just saying is all; Cecilia Reyes’s job doesn’t deserve her, and Cyclops and Phoenix are the worst at being normal.

X-PLAINED:

The Grey family reunion
X-Men #71-72
What counts as an Uncanny X-Men #138 cover reference
Baggage and also suitcases
Steve Seagle’s (scuttled) Phoenix plans
Bone whiskers
Telemarketer power moves
Cecilia Reyes
Marrow (Sarah)
Sam Guthrie’s tiny ponytail
The ol’ wall-of-televisions trope
The cost of one banana
Sebastian Shaw vs the IRS (maybe)
A mostly empty attic
Wolverine’s etiquette lessons
The dessert claw vs the salad claw
The physicality of Carlos Pacheco’s art
Cannonball, the grown-up in the room
Magneto’s increasingly complicated past
Magnus, Erik, and Max (again)
Uncanny X-Men #351-352
Cecilia Reyes’s return-to-office
Intersectionality
Pyro, forever dying of the Legacy Virus
Daredevil vs Cecilia Reyes’s bedside manner
Kevin, Lord of the Jungle
Ending conversations by turning into a bird
A.I.M.* (*Advanced Idea Mechanics)
Crows of Ill Portent
A Box of Entity
Condors and Cockatoos
Logan’s denim proclivities
Arcade vs. Mojo

Special thanks to Dylan Higgins for edits and production assistance!

NEXT EPISODE: X-Force goes to Burning Man!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 400 – Loud Noises

February 5, 2023 Miles One comment

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Marauders to the left of me, X-Men to the right, and I’m stuck in the middle with you… (Uncanny X-Men #350)

Listen, Gambit, it was either this or a Tupperware(TM) for that chunk of your brain. (Uncanny X-Men #350)

Their relationship seems healthy. (Uncanny X-Men #350)

Eh, it’s still in better shape than the car Miles drove in high school. (Uncanny X-Men #350)

Where? Oh, there. (Uncanny X-Men #350)

“He’s here again, Professor.” (Uncanny X-Men #350)

Speaking of different eras of the X-Men – check out Julian Totino Tedesco’s decade variant covers! Here’s the 60s… (All-New X-Men #18)

The 70s… (All-New X-Men #18)

The 80s… (All-New X-Men #18)

The 90s… (All-New X-Men #18)

…and the 2000s. (All-New X-Men #18)

After this, it’s off to the Justice Exhibit through the Justice Hall and then to the Justice Shop. If anyone needs the Little Justice’s Room, it’s on the left. (Uncanny X-Men #350)

Thunderbird, sure… but a version of Blink from an alternate universe? (Uncanny X-Men #350)

NOOOOORM! (Uncanny X-Men #350)

I’ve never been picked during jury selection, but I’m pretty sure this is how trials work, right? (Uncanny X-Men #350)

Rogue x-plains Gambit’s dark secret. (Uncanny X-Men #350)

As little sense as Rogue’s decision makes, damn if Joe Madureira (or Andy Smith?) doesn’t make it work anyway. (Uncanny X-Men #350)

Erik the Red was really Erik the Red and Purple! (Uncanny X-Men #350)

Okay, okay – they’re no Cyclops, Wolverine, Storm, Colossus, Nightcrawler, and Thunderbird, but I like them anyway. (X-Men #70)

Dig that speech bubble transition. (X-Men #70)

Cecilia Reyes and Marrow, best of friends. (X-Men #70)

Why don’t more artists work in the telekinetic Phoenix flare? (X-Men #70)

Cecilia takes charge. (X-Men #70)

And you know Sam will 100% pay them back later. (X-Men #70)

I love these three. (X-Men #70)

The cavalry arrives. (X-Men #70)

For once, too much dialogue is a good thing. (X-Men #70)

Gross mutant powers are the best mutant powers. (X-Men #70)

Maggott 2.0, courtesy Joe Kelly. (X-Men #70)

The X-Men: often at their best when their lives are at their worst. (X-Men #70)

NEXT TIME: Generation X vs. Christmas.

NOTES & FURTHER READING:

All that remains of Gambit Cyber Comic: The Hunt for the Tomorrow Stone

400 – Loud Noises

February 5, 2023 Miles 18 comments

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In which legacy numbering is best left alone; all roads lead to the Antarctic; we finally learn Gambit’s big secret; Erik the Red gets yet a third identity; no one soils the Juggernaut; Maggott saves the day; and we have somehow made (technically more than) 400 of these things.

X-PLAINED

Spat
The tragic loss of the Cyber Comics
How not to back up your work
Uncanny X-Men #350
X-Men #70
A shambles
What’s been happening since Operation Zero Tolerance
A very fancy cover
Insufficient outerwear
Senses
Justice as a decorating theme
Baffling statuary
The return of Erik the Red
Erik the Red (again)
Ferris
Gambit’s big secret
A large number of continuity errors
A total dick move
De-icing
Untitled Marrow Game
A big fight
Living room surgery
Legal documents
Favorite anniversary issues
Dangling plot threads

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X vs. Christmas

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 393 – Camping With Uncle Mustang

November 27, 2022 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Aw, man. (Wolverine #115)

Go, Jubilee! (Wolverine #115)

It never really gets old. (Wolverine #115)

Five X-Men in an elevator. (Wolverine #115)

Meet Mustang! (Wolverine #116)

“Hey. Hey. Wake up. Hey.” (Wolverine #116)

Aw, Mustang, no. (Wolverine #116)

Definitely the creepiest version of the Prime Sentinels. (Wolverine #117)

Dr. Whatever-his-name-is and his fancy mad-science lab. (Wolverine #117)

Been a (traumatic) while. (Wolverine #117)

The inevitable finally occurs. (Wolverine #117)

NEXT EPISODE: The Mostly New and Different X-Men!

393 – Camping With Uncle Mustang

November 27, 2022 Jay 8 comments

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In which Operation Zero Tolerance continues; the X-Men take over Wolverine; wolverine is the designated John McClane of the X-Men; torsos are confusing places; and we sincerely hope that Jean Grey got to do some off-panel dating.

X-PLAINED:

Bastion’s priorities
Operation Zero Tolerance (so far)
Wolverine #115-118
How to villainously declaim
Mustang
Roustabouts
Waking up with the X-Men
Where (some) Prime Sentinels come from
Fatality, kind of
Felipe, Arvell, and Helmut
Inevitability
A reunion
Government intervention
Anatomy
Jaz disks
Friendship
Jean Grey’s romantic history
The League of Nations vs. The League of Nathans

NEXT EPISODE: Mostly New and Different X-Men!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 369 – Carly Askani

April 17, 2022 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

“This ought to give you” *POW* “a new perspective” *BIFF* “on things, Alex!” (Uncanny X-Men #339)

Head trauma for Lucas BIshop! (Uncanny X-Men #339)

I mean, she’s not wrong. (Uncanny X-Men #339)

“You think I just fell off the turnip truck, McCoy? No one pulls a fast one on J. Jonah Jameson!” (Uncanny X-Men #339)

“I’m Ororo Munroe, and I’m here to x-plain the X-Men… because it’s about time someone did.” (Uncanny X-Men #339)

Never trust a Summers when he tells you he’s fine. (Uncanny X-Men #339)

Well, if they can print it, I guess we can post it. (X-Men #59)

Head trauma for Lucas Bishop! Again! (X-Men #59)

Hell of a Wolverine you’ve got there, Mr. Kubert. (X-Men #59)

JOSEPH I AM CALLING THE POLICE (X-Men #59)

Not quite as good as the Rogue/Gambit kiss from #41, but still… whoa. (X-Men #59)

I’M HUGE (X-Men #59)

“For instance, I can see through this utterly massive chin.” (Wolverine Annual 1996)

Josef Stalin..? (Wolverine Annual 1996)

Up… (Wolverine Annual 1996)

…and up… (Wolverine Annual 1996)

…and up. (Wolverine Annual 1996)

“General Grievious, sir, it’s the Jedi!” (Wolverine Annual 1996)

You know, I think this might be Sunfire’s best non-Age of Apocalypse look! (Wolverine Annual 1996)

*Pacific Rim music plays* (and now it’s in your head too) (Wolverine Annual 1996)

Logan, that… that was there before. Maybe you need to adjust your bandana. (Wolverine Annual 1996)

NEXT TIME: The Silver Age with Max Carleton!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING

369 – Carly Askani

April 17, 2022 Miles 23 comments

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In which Storm & Joseph X-Plain the X-Men, Alex Summers is not brainwashed this time, he promises, Scott Lobdell writes better moments than stories, Ed McGuinness draws very large chins, and it’s Denver the Last Dinosaur, not Denver the Lost Dinosaur

X-PLAINED:

Uncanny X-Men #339
Spider-Man disambiguation
A. Kubert disambiguation
J. Jonah Jameson (again) (hooray!)
Sneaking songs
The history of smoking regulation on airlines
Creed disambiguation
Havok’s Brotherhood of Evil Mutants
Bonding while falling out of planes
X-Men #59
The copyright status of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
Well-drawn Wolverines
Hercules vs The Tick
Wolverine Annual 1996
The tragic death of Mariko Yashida
Silver Samurai (Kuniuchio Harada)
Sunfire (Shiro Yoshida) and what he’s been up to since Fatal Attractions
Josef Stalin, apparently?
Red Ronin and its nemesis, a time-lost dinosaur who we assure you is not Godzilla
Jedi and/or samurai vs. doors
Our logo fonts
James Howlett, guidance counselor
Onslaught but not evil
Whether Magneto could wield Mjolnir

NEXT EPISODE: The Silver Age with Max Carleton!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!