Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: professor x

As Mentioned in Episode 71 – The Once and Fuchsia King

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/30/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Spoiler: They will be back next issue. (New Mutants #51)
“If they’d learned anything from me, they’d be faking their own deaths!” (New Mutants #51)
DRAMA! (New Mutants #51)
No, the OTHER Plan Omega. (New Mutants #51)
Kevin Nowlan draws a rad Hepzibah. (New Mutants #51)
PROFESSOR XAVIER IS A JERK. (New Mutants #51)
“Well, I should probably see what the study group thinks, but I’m thinking fuchsia.” (New Mutants #51)
Sebastian Shaw takes dress codes seriously. (New Mutants #51)
She even LOOKS like she stepped off a power metal album cover. (New Mutants #52)
HE’S NOT WRONG. (New Mutants #52)
Aw, kiddo. (New Mutants #52)
Fighting xenomorphs, from the look of it. (New Mutants #52)
Love the body language on this page. (New Mutants #52)
We keep saying that this whole era feels like an inexorable escalation toward Inferno, and, yeah. That. (New Mutants #52)
I was gonna make a “subtext: not just for the ladies” joke, but I’m pretty sure it’s just text at this point. (New Mutants #53)
Aw, man. (New Mutants #53)
TWIST! Don’t worry, this’ll come back up eventually. (New Mutants #53)
“…But can you take them anywhere?” Spoiler: NO. No, you can’t. (New Mutants #53)
Magik intimidating Empath is the gift that keeps on giving. (New Mutants #53)
Make good choices, Cypher! (New Mutants #53)
Or, y’know, not. (New Mutants #53)
Sam Guthrie: Everyone’s best big brother. (New Mutants #54)
“I love you, but I have to leave the team because your costumes are SO BAD.” (New Mutants #54)
SO, THAT HAPPENED. (New Mutants #54)
Has anyone else noticed that Doug’s superhero career is basically a series of dress rehearsals for his eventual death. (New Mutants #54)
I genuinely can’t tell if this is a good burn or not: on one hand, the New Mutants’ costumes are objectively way worse; but on the other hand, the Hellions’ costumes are way more circus-y. (New Mutants #54)
NEXT WEEK: It’s hard to be Havok.

LINKS:

  • If you’re curious about the Starjammers, go listen to Episode 7 – Cyclops Has a Good Day, in which we discuss them at length with Greg Rucka.
  • The podcast where two dudes watch and review Grown Ups 2 every week is an actual, real thing, which you can listen to here.

71 – The Once and Fuchsia King

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/30/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/30/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which the New Mutants return from space; Professor Xavier ruins everything; Magneto is the Craig Pelton of X-Men; Cypher carouses shamefully with Hellfire tramps; Karma quits the team; and we wrap up Chris Claremont’s New Mutants run.

X-PLAINED:

  • Leong and Nga Coy Manh
  • New Mutants #51-54
  • The Starjammers (again)
  • The paradox of Professor X
  • Several dramatic speeches
  • The Hellfire Club for Creative Anachronism
  • Plan Omega (but not that one)
  • A fairly epic dress-code violation
  • Magik vs. Limbo
  • A very specific bit of fancasting
  • Best Magneto
  • What X-fans (may or may not) live for
  • A well-wrought nightmare
  • Hellion disambiguation
  • Doug Ramsey’s Fancy Hair
  • New Mutants X Frank Zappa
  • Wacky teen hijinks at the Hellfire Club
  • Carousing shamefully with Hellfire tramps
  • A heroic challenge
  • A counterintuitive heart’s desire
  • Claremont’s New Mutants run.
  • Libraries
  • Emma Frost’s accent
  • The sounds of blastin’

NEXT WEEK: It’s hard to be Havok.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Graeme X-Plains It All

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Rachel here!

TRUE FACT: Graeme McMillan is a veritable saint.

When Graeme and Elle volunteered to guest-host Episode 69, we put out a call for questions, figuring they’d pick one or two to answer on the podcast; which they did.

What we did not figure on was what happened a day later: Graeme e-mailed us a document with answers to every single one of the questions you sent in, from continuity conundrums to comics recommendations–13 in total, exhaustively researched and fully formatted.

ZOMG

GRAEME. SERIOUSLY. HOW ARE YOU EVEN REAL?

Click through below for the full Q&A.

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As Mentioned in Episode 69 – Weird Science

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Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/9/2015 in the shop (once Redbubble’s uploader starts working again, anyway), or contact David for the original.
Just another 70’s monster comic. You’d never know it was about an X-Man. (Amazing Adventures #11)
Drama, destruction, and slightly off-model mutants. (Amazing Adventures #11)
Flashback to Hank leaving the X-Men. Who knows if he’ll ever come back? (Amazing Adventures #11)
In which Carl Maddicks is a total jerk, and Hank McCoy is very good at science. (Amazing Adventures #11)
Great use of panel borders by Tom Sutton on this page. (Amazing Adventures #11)
The Beast at the height of his invulnerability and his creepiness. (Amazing Adventures #11)
Spectacularly horrific splash page by Tom Sutton and Mike Ploog (Amazing Adventure #12)
The closet’s just more trouble than it’s worth. (Amazing Adventure #12)
A visually striking panel of Iron Man flirting with the Beast. (Amazing Adventure #12)
Don’t panic; nothing on this page is actually happening. (Amazing Adventure #12)
Mastermind is as long-winded as Unus is unimpressed. (Amazing Adventure #13)
The Carnival is a haven for the strangest of mutants and the saddest of clowns. (Amazing Adventure #13)
Two mysterious and seemingly boring people arrive at the super-science ultra-mega-labs of the Brand Corporation. (Amazing Adventure #13)
This Beast is a little intense. (Amazing Adventure #13)
When Mastermind loses, he loses hard. (Amazing Adventure #13)
Drama in pajamas. (Amazing Adventure #14)
If you’ve never met Quasimodo the Living Computer… You’re probably fine, actually. (Amazing Adventures #14)
We never learn why Hank went to Patsy’s place to collapse, but the more important question is, why does she keep that Target dorm room floor lamp right in front of the door?(Amazing Adventures #15)
Hank really hasn’t been running his whole life, but film noir dialogue seems appropriate for the debut of the black (soon to be blue) Beast. (Amazing Adventures #15)
At the Xavier School, Scott stands silently in shadow, while Charles and Jean won’t let Warren use the switchboard. (Amazing Adventures #15)
Angel takes things in stride. (Amazing Adventures #15)
Nothing can defeat the hugging power of the Beast. (Amazing Adventures #15)
Hank meets Roy Thomas, and the Juggernaut literally falls out of the sky. (Amazing Adventures #16)
Meanwhile, in Canada… (The Incredible Hulk #161)
Hank continues to make odd choices in pretty much everything. (The Incredible Hulk #161)
The Hulk drops in. (The Incredible Hulk #161)
Wheel of mutants (this is all part of Nixon’s plan). (Captain America #174)
This is what happened in the 616 instead of Watergate. (Captain America #175)
Edward G. Robinson shows up at Avenger auditions. (Avengers #137)
Introducing the new smiling, fun-loving Beast. I wonder why his eyelids are so heavy? (Avengers #137)
The soothing effects of Stevie Wonder and Carlos Castaneda. (Avengers #137)
Patsy Walker finally lives her dream. (Avengers #144)
Family drama at the Indian restaurant. (Marvel Team-Up #124)
Hank has a bad day at the disco. (Avengers #178)
NEXT WEEK: Everything is terrible.

Special thanks to our awesome guest hosts, Elle Collins and Graeme McMillan, who not only covered the episode, but also provided this visual companion AND answered a bunch more questions in text (we’ll be posting those later this week). If you love Elle and Graeme as much as we do and want to hear more of ’em, here’s where to find those two on the web:

69 – Weird Science, with Elle Collins and Graeme McMillan

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/9/2015 in the shop (once Redbubble’s uploader starts working again, anyway), or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/9/2015 in the shop (once Redbubble’s uploader starts working again, anyway), or contact David for the original.

In which Elle and Graeme save the day; Hank McCoy joins the real world (sort of) (briefly); Carl Maddicks may or may not be undead; academic discourse in the Marvel Universe leaves a few things to be desired; Steve Englehart is an unsung hero of X-Men; Mastermind lives up to his name; Warren Worthington has a good attitude about mutation; and Avengers Beast is the best Beast; and Graeme has strong feelings about Moira MacTaggert.

X-PLAINED:

  • The complex romantic life of Patsy Walker
  • The increasingly terrible life choices of Hank McCoy
  • Amazing Adventures #11-17
  • Incredible Hulk #161
  • Captain America #173-175
  • Avengers #137, 144, & 178
  • Marvel Team-Up #124
  • Life after the X-Men
  • The Brand Corporation
  • Carl Maddicks (again)
  • Vampire Secret Agent Linda Donaldson
  • The dubious chemical cause of mutation
  • Beast as proto-Wolverine
  • Steve Englehart
  • The high price of passing
  • Several unusually realistic latex masks
  • Norman Mailer’s Handbook for Unliberated Women
  • Sad clowns
  • Buzz Baxter
  • Hellcat (Patsy Walker)
  • Someone who might be Carole King, Indira Gandhi, or your sister (but isn’t)
  • Questionable corporate practices
  • Quasimodo (but not that one)
  • Semantics of fur color
  • The Griffin
  • The Secret Empire
  • Actual supervillain Richard Nixon
  • Mimic (Cal Rankin)
  • Avengers Auditions
  • Best Beast stories
  • Scotland

Special thanks to guest hosts Elle Collins & Graeme McMillan!

NEXT WEEK: Everything is terrible.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

August 2015 Shirt of the Month: X-Gamers

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shirt

Who needs a Danger Room when you can hone your battlefield skills AND rack up EXP against a Beholder? The X-Men gather ‘round the gaming table for some all-new, all-different training in August’s shirt of the month, featuring art by David Wynne!

the game transparency

 

In addition to covering your torso and impressing your friends and neighbors, the August, 2015 shirt of the months grants +1 on continuity-related checks.* It’s available on a wide variety of wearables, including kids’ clothes; as well as tote bags, travel mugs, and stickers!

NOTE: This is a limited-run shirt! It will DISAPPEAR FOREVER from the shop on September 1, 2015; get ’em while they last!

*Results not guaranteed in actual gameplay. Always run house rules by your GM. Not recommended for use against gazebos.

As Mentioned in Episode 55 – How Nightcrawler Got His Groove Back

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Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/10/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
We really can’t blame her. (Uncanny X-Men #202)
You’d think Piotr would have caught on to the existence of spandex by now, what with being a superhero and all. (Uncanny X-Men #202)
Daaaaaaaang. (Uncanny X-Men #202)
Well, that’ll end well. (Uncanny X-Men #202)
Aw, kiddo. (Uncanny X-Men #202)
A miracle of magnetism! (Uncanny X-Men #202)
The Beyonder sucks, y’all. (Uncanny X-Men #202)
I know it’s just a flashback, but man, Rogue, serious dick move there. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
Don’t worry–we’ll X-Plain this whole thing at more length next episode. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
Whaaaaaaaaaaat. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
I’m pretty sure no one ever brings this up again, which seems weird in retrospect. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
The Phoenix Force lends itself to some damn cool layouts. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
And again. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
And then the Beyonder went away and everyone lived happily ever… HA NO JUST KIDDING. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
THAT COVER, THO (Uncanny X-Men #204)
Nightcrawler likes Secret Wars about as much as we do. (Uncanny X-Men #204)
There are some very specific benefits to living in a comic-book universe. (Uncanny X-Men #204)
How do people always work out what’s going on so quickly? “Oh, I must clearly be in a giant pinball machine.” Really? REALLY? (Uncanny X-Men #204)
NIGHTCRAWLER IS DELIGHTFUL. (Uncanny X-Men #204)
ARCADE IS ALSO DELIGHTFUL. (Uncanny X-Men #204)
Comics Should Be Fun: A Manifesto by Kurt Wagner. (Uncanny X-Men #204)
Nightcrawler and Arcade make really excellent mutual foils–both of them appreciate the theatricality of the genre in ways that few of their peers do. (Uncanny X-Men #204)
OKAY THEN (Uncanny X-Men #204)
At this point, the X-Men going to any kind of cultural event is basically an invitation for a super-fight to land on their front lawn. (Alpha Flight #33)
Well, then. (Alpha Flight #33)
Third-worst honeymoon ever. (Alpha Flight #33)
I know there’s plot-relevant stuff going on here, but can we also take a moment to appreciate Wolverine’s awesome opera suit? (Alpha Flight #33)
Awk-ward. (Alpha Flight #33)
“Seriously, what the hell, lady?” (Alpha Flight #33)
I wonder if James Hudson and Charles Xavier are friends. It seems like they would be. (Alpha Flight #34)
Yer a good kid, Wolverine. (Alpha Flight #34)
Not actually plot relevant. We just think it’s funny. (Alpha Flight #34)
Daaaaaaaamn, Barry Windsor-Smith. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
No, seriously: Daaaaaaaamn, Barry Windsor-Smith. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
Subtitle: “Someday Katie Power is going to make a therapist very rich.” (Uncanny X-Men #205)
Look at this awesome badass 5-year-old. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
That layout! (Uncanny X-Men #205)
It really sucks to be Wolverine a lot of the time. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
A) This page is amazing. B) Still can’t get over how much Barry Windsor-Smith’s Wolverine–drawn in 1986–looks like Hugh Jackman. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
Wolverine has reconsidered his stance on transhumanism. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
Sick burn, man. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
Awww. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
NEXT WEEK: The Beyonder kills the New Mutants.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

55 – How Nightcrawler Got His Groove Back

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/10/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/10/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which Secret Wars II ruins everything (more) (again) (forever); Rachel Summers hates the Beyonder almost as much as we do; Miles gets mad at comics; Nightcrawler does not do gritty well; Lady Deathstrike gets wired; and we consult our favorite 3-year-old for book recommendations.

X-PLAINED:

  • Rogue vs. Carol Danvers
  • Life before social media
  • Uncanny X-Men #202-205
  • Alpha Flight #33-34
  • Phoenix II vs. the Beyonder (twice)
  • The Reverse Gwen Stacy
  • Still more miracles of magnetism
  • Kitty Pryde disambiguation
  • SFLANNG!
  • Good times in Murderworld
  • The third-worst honeymoon
  • Lady Deathstrike (Yuriko Oyama)
  • Spiral’s Body Shop
  • The Reavers
  • One way to build a Wolverine antagonist
  • Skirting the Comics Code
  • Sound-effects lettering as a narrative device
  • Good X-books for a 3-year-old

Special thanks to Katie and Kestrel P.

NEXT WEEK: The Beyonder kills the New Mutants!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Rachel Recaps X-Men: Evolution
S1E5: Speed and Spyke

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Before we jump into this one, let me tell you kids a story.

Once upon a time, there was a gentleman by the name of Dwayne McDuffie. McDuffie was an incredibly important figure in comics: these days, he’s best known as the creator of Static Shock and the co-founder of Milestone Media; for his work across the DCAU; and as a tireless and outspoken advocate for black representation in superhero comics.

In 1989, when McDuffie was an editor at Marvel Comics, he wrote a biting, satirical pitch that has since become industry legend. In his pitch, McDuffie points out that 25% of African-American superheroes appearing in the Marvel Universe over the last year have had skateboard-based superpowers or fighting styles, and proposes a new team to take advantage of this and other equivalently exciting trends, featuring four black guys on skateboards:

McDuffie

Twelve years later, the fifth episode of X-Men: Evolution would introduce the Xavier Institute’s sole black student and the show’s first original character, Evan “Spyke” Daniels:

A black guy on a skateboard.

Continue reading

As Mentioned in Episode 50 – The People Vs. Erik Lehnsherr

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Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 4/5/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Professor Xavier reacts to the Xorn retcons. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
Someone really needs to make a gif out of those three panels on the left. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
Not satisfied with his own series, the Beyonder derails someone else’s. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
This is so ridiculously rude. I mean, what if Father Bowen had been asleep, or naked, or talking to a parishioner, or something? “SURPRISE!” (Uncanny X-Men #196)
Kurt Wagner echoes some common criticisms of Secret Wars. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
Awkward. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
KITTY’S FACE. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
Given the parallels between Rachel Summers and Magneto’s backgrounds, it would have been really cool to see this relationship developed further. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
So doomed. (Uncanny X-Men #197)
Aw, these kids. (Uncanny X-Men #197)
Oh, hi, Phoenix II! (Uncanny X-Men #199)
While we’re on the subject: Check out Allie Kleber’s gorgeous design for a ballgown version of Rachel’s first Phoenix costume!
Cue-ball special! Take a drink! (Uncanny X-Men #199)
You can almost hear the slash fiction springing into being. (Uncanny X-Men #199)
We’d make “Rachel and Scott Summers pointedly fail to communicate” a drink cue, but no one’s liver deserves that. (Uncanny X-Men #199)
It is super weird how much Val Cooper looks like Tiffani-Amber Thiessen, given that Thiessen would have been eleven years old when this comic came out. Photo-reference of future past? (Uncanny X-Men #199)
“We’ll start by attacking a dude at a Holocaust memorial. It’ll be great practice for your PR team!” (Uncanny X-Men #199)
Rachel Summers was totally the best Phoenix. (Uncanny X-Men #199)
Magneto is a morally complex individual with really excellent hair. (Uncanny X-Men #199)
No matter how much you love your job, you will never love it as much as Mystique loves hers. (Uncanny X-Men #199)
Magneto’s speech here is important, but what you’re really looking at here is his well-tailored suit. You’d expect him to show up to his trial in something like this, right? (Uncanny X-Men #199)
NOPE. Why wear a conservative suit to your trial when you could wear opera gloves and a sleeveless unitard with an M pointing directly to your crotch? (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Neal Conan x-plains Magneto. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
“The counsels for the prosecution and defense have been selected based on the quality of their Joan Rivers impressions.” (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Oh, these assholes. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
So, basically, it’s Tuesday. Also: best editor’s note ever? Best editor’s note ever. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
I don’t think we talked about it in the episode, but this issue has the best damn sound effects. Seriously, I’m just gonna post a bunch of these, because they are great, and the lettering is aces. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
VYANNG! KRAKOOM! (Uncanny X-Men #200)
SKBOOM! (Uncanny X-Men #200)
RKOW! (Uncanny X-Men #200)
KTHAM! (Uncanny X-Men #200)
ZARK! TUNCH! BDAM! THIS LETTERING, Y’ALL. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Let’s all take a moment to appreciate Kitty’s hella sweet outfit. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
You’re not wrong, Madelyne. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
There’s something intrinsically hilarious about Starjammers fly-bys. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
KITTY, FOCUS ON THE PROBLEM AT… oh. Sorry. That was in poor taste. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Pretty sure that last speech balloon was supposed to be Kitty’s, not Scott’s. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
MAGNETO MADE SOME VALID POINTS. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Agh, god, Tom Orzechowski’s sound effects are SO GOOD. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Sir James Jaspers: total dick. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
CANON: This lady’s name is Judge Kickass. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Atonement

Cleric lvl 5 / Druid lvl 5

Range: Touch

(Uncanny X-Men #200)

NEXT WEEK: ECCC special, featuring Kris Anka, Marguerite Bennett, Kieron Gillen, and Peter Nguyen! (No idea why this photo is showing up upside down, but it looks kind of rad, so we’re just gonna run with it.)

LINKS AND FURTHER READING: