I like this episode, because this is where Evolution starts to catch its stride and find its voice. “Middleverse” is kind of a mess animation-wise, but it’s also a one-off, a lighthearted breath of fresh air before we dive headfirst into the Big Ongoing Story next episode.
It also gets bonus points for being a Forge episode, which is almost always a plus. Comics Forge tends to be dark and brooding and at the center of convoluted storylines and soap opera, but two out of three animated Forges are uncomplicatedly delightful. The best animated Forge, of course, is Wolverine and the X-Men Forge, who just straight-up is Miles to the extent that we had his action figure in college and more than one person assumed it was a custom portrait. But Evolution Forge is pretty great, too.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/10/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
We really can’t blame her. (Uncanny X-Men #202)
You’d think Piotr would have caught on to the existence of spandex by now, what with being a superhero and all. (Uncanny X-Men #202)
Daaaaaaaang. (Uncanny X-Men #202)
Well, that’ll end well. (Uncanny X-Men #202)
Aw, kiddo. (Uncanny X-Men #202)
A miracle of magnetism! (Uncanny X-Men #202)
The Beyonder sucks, y’all. (Uncanny X-Men #202)
I know it’s just a flashback, but man, Rogue, serious dick move there. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
Don’t worry–we’ll X-Plain this whole thing at more length next episode. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
Whaaaaaaaaaaat. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
I’m pretty sure no one ever brings this up again, which seems weird in retrospect. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
The Phoenix Force lends itself to some damn cool layouts. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
And again. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
And then the Beyonder went away and everyone lived happily ever… HA NO JUST KIDDING. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
THAT COVER, THO (Uncanny X-Men #204)
Nightcrawler likes Secret Wars about as much as we do. (Uncanny X-Men #204)
There are some very specific benefits to living in a comic-book universe. (Uncanny X-Men #204)
How do people always work out what’s going on so quickly? “Oh, I must clearly be in a giant pinball machine.” Really? REALLY? (Uncanny X-Men #204)
NIGHTCRAWLER IS DELIGHTFUL. (Uncanny X-Men #204)
ARCADE IS ALSO DELIGHTFUL. (Uncanny X-Men #204)
Comics Should Be Fun: A Manifesto by Kurt Wagner. (Uncanny X-Men #204)
Nightcrawler and Arcade make really excellent mutual foils–both of them appreciate the theatricality of the genre in ways that few of their peers do. (Uncanny X-Men #204)
OKAY THEN (Uncanny X-Men #204)
At this point, the X-Men going to any kind of cultural event is basically an invitation for a super-fight to land on their front lawn. (Alpha Flight #33)
Well, then. (Alpha Flight #33)
Third-worst honeymoon ever. (Alpha Flight #33)
I know there’s plot-relevant stuff going on here, but can we also take a moment to appreciate Wolverine’s awesome opera suit? (Alpha Flight #33)
Awk-ward. (Alpha Flight #33)
“Seriously, what the hell, lady?” (Alpha Flight #33)
I wonder if James Hudson and Charles Xavier are friends. It seems like they would be. (Alpha Flight #34)
Yer a good kid, Wolverine. (Alpha Flight #34)
Not actually plot relevant. We just think it’s funny. (Alpha Flight #34)
Daaaaaaaamn, Barry Windsor-Smith. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
No, seriously: Daaaaaaaamn, Barry Windsor-Smith. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
Subtitle: “Someday Katie Power is going to make a therapist very rich.” (Uncanny X-Men #205)
Look at this awesome badass 5-year-old. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
That layout! (Uncanny X-Men #205)
It really sucks to be Wolverine a lot of the time. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
A) This page is amazing. B) Still can’t get over how much Barry Windsor-Smith’s Wolverine–drawn in 1986–looks like Hugh Jackman. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
Wolverine has reconsidered his stance on transhumanism. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
Kestrel and Jasper also love X-Men and Power Pack and X-Men: First Class, as well as the original animated series; but Katie cautions that all of those involve some adult themes you’ll need to either read around or be ready to have some challenging conversations about.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/10/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which Secret Wars II ruins everything (more) (again) (forever); Rachel Summers hates the Beyonder almost as much as we do; Miles gets mad at comics; Nightcrawler does not do gritty well; Lady Deathstrike gets wired; and we consult our favorite 3-year-old for book recommendations.
X-PLAINED:
Rogue vs. Carol Danvers
Life before social media
Uncanny X-Men #202-205
Alpha Flight #33-34
Phoenix II vs. the Beyonder (twice)
The Reverse Gwen Stacy
Still more miracles of magnetism
Kitty Pryde disambiguation
SFLANNG!
Good times in Murderworld
The third-worst honeymoon
Lady Deathstrike (Yuriko Oyama)
Spiral’s Body Shop
The Reavers
One way to build a Wolverine antagonist
Skirting the Comics Code
Sound-effects lettering as a narrative device
Good X-books for a 3-year-old
Special thanks to Katie and Kestrel P.
NEXT WEEK: The Beyonder kills the New Mutants!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Let me get this out of the way fast: “Mutant Crush” is my least favorite episode of X-Men: Evolution. Yes, even more than “The Cauldron,” which I’m pretty sure is objectively the worst episode of the series.1
But while “The Cauldron” is terrible, it’s hilariously terrible. “Mutant Crush” is. Well. It’s a decently written episode, I guess. And it’s got a lot of moments I dig. It’s just also really fucked up and disturbing, and not in hilarious and pedantic ways.
Seriously: Shit gets dark in this episode. If you don’t want to read a humorous write-up of a story that is essentially about stalking and kidnapping, you may want to skip this one. I recognize that this is essentially a humor column, and I tried to find okay ways to be funny about this episode, but I mostly ended up with a lot of tonal whiplash, and a pretty high volume of commentary on the ways women are socialized to appease violent men, and some really inappropriate references to John Fowles’ The Collector.2
And on that note: Here is a link to the National Domestic Violence Hotline’s help page. NDVH is a pretty solid organization, and in addition to the actual hotlines–which include a phone line and web-based chat, both confidential and anonymous–they’ve got a very good list of resources, including LGBTQI and teen-specific stuff. (NDVH is, however, mostly U.S.-specific. If you know of international resources or have other specific recommendations, please stick ‘em in the comments, and maybe we can get something useful out of this clusterfuck of an episode.)
Evolution Rogue is awesome. She’s one of the characters who fares best in reimagining–as I wrote about Cyclops in S1E1, Rogue is very recognizably written in the spirit of some of the best previous versions of the character, with the letter flexible enough to let her develop organically in her new context and setting.
So it should be no surprise when I tell you that a lot of the best stuff in the generally pretty shaky and uneven Season One centers around Rogue. And that, my friends, begins here. Lace up your best New Rocks, dig up some black lipstick (or steal your friend’s eyeliner crayon and be careful not to lick your lips), and get ready to rumble.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 3/15/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
“Is this foreshadowing?”
“Nah. Just a book recommendation.”
“Because it really sounds like foreshadowing, Sam.”
“Former X-Man, huh?”
(X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #1)
Well, that escalated quickly. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #1)
Someone needs to sit Rachel Summers down for a long and serious conversation about proportional force. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #1)
WHOOPS. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #1)
“HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU: DO AS I SAY, NOT AS I DO!” (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #1)
Those That Sit Above In Shadow. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #1)
Seriously, though, don’t do that shit. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #1)
“Think there’s a twist? “Nah.” (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #1)
A) Scott looks like a doof without his glasses. B) I wonder if Marvel got a lot of pissed off letters about his eyes changing color in this issue. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #1)
“We all got superpowers, but the important part is the AMAZING OUTFITS.” (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #1)
WELL THAT COULD BE LESS AWKWARD. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #1)
SUPER not cool, Xavier. Also: Remember when Scott’s eyes were blue like five pages ago? ‘CAUSE THE COLORIST DOESN’T! *rimshot* (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #1)
I know they all gave the powers back at the end, but I really don’t see why Heather couldn’t have remade this outfit and then worn it ALL THE TIME, because it is awesome. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #1)
THAT CAT, THOUGH. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #2)
Aw, Snowbird. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #2)
There have been near-infinite variations on this gag, and they’re never not great. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #2)
Aw, Jean-Paul. Your team is kind of awful. I mean, so are you, but still. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #2)
COLD, Wolverine. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #2)
Well, shit. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #2)
OH, THAT EXPLAINS SOME THINGS. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #2)
This is about as close as the Summers family ever seems to come to healthy communication, so enjoy it while it lasts. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #2)
I don’t care if they’re not costumes. DRINK ANYWAY. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 2, #1)
Throughout this story, Nightcrawler seems to be in a different genre than the rest of the cast. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 2, #1)
Can’t you just picture John Cassady physically crossing this spread off his bucket list? (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 2, #2)
Also this panel. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 2, #2)
Alberta, in case you were wondering–just a little south of Calgary. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 2, #2)
NEXT WEEK: Asgardian Wars!
Many thanks to Emergency Backup Co-Host and Alpha Flight X-Pert (is there an Alpha-Flight-appropriate portmanteau for that?) Elisabeth Allie! Go check out Elisabeth’s blog, and follower her on Twitter!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 3/15/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which Emergency Backup Co-Host Elisabeth Allie saves the day; the Berserkers are not the breakout hit you’ve been waiting for; Paul Smith continues to be awesome; nothing good ever happens in the Danger Room; Charles Xavier dabbles in cosplay; Nightcrawler has serious hat game; Rachel Summers lacks healthy coping skills; your life would be way more epic if Claremont narrated it; Northstar is a surprisingly good prom date; Loki is a total dick; and Longshot is totally Miles’s favorite.
X-PLAINED:
Madelyne Pryor
X-Men/Alpha Flight vols. 1&2
The Berserkers
An unconventional model of family therapy
Aggressive foreshadowing
NPC dialogue
Jazzercise superheroes
Superhero color theory
Sasquatch
Aurora
Those Who Sit Above in Shadow
Norse fashion of the ‘80s
Very specific superpowers
Some sweet boots
The price of power
A deus ex machina squared
Kitty and Piotr’s first date
Snowbird’s powers
Miles’s favorite X-Man
NEXT WEEK: Asgardian Wars!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 2/1/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which Nimrod is probably an honorary Summers by this point; Claremont hits a centennial; it’s probably pretty hard to get an unconscious person into tight leather pants; the X-Men finally encounter a world that actually hates and fears them; and the Power Pack fits somewhat uneasily with the grown-up Marvel Universe.
X-PLAINED:
Nimrod
Uncanny X-Men #193-195
Thunderbird II (James Proudstar)
Situation-inappropriate attire
The worst Hellions
Firestar (Angelica Jones)
Why you call ahead before breaking into NORAD
Leadership
Public opinion
Juggernaut fights
How the X-Men wake up
Nazgûl
Tyranny of the Masses: The Robot
The Voltron Special
The Power Pack
Navigating crossovers
NEXT WEEK: Firestar!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Art by Sal Buscema and Karl Bollers, Marvel Holiday Special 1994 one-shot (1994)
HI, LISTENERS! Some of you have been asking us to write an X-Men holiday gift guide. We think it’s very thoughtful of you to consider purchasing gifts for fictional characters, and to help you out, we have created this handy last-minute guide! Click through for our picks for Beast, Shadowcat, and six more…
THE COMPLETE GUMBY
.
FOR: Beast. We already know Hank McCoy is a fan of Art Clokey’s weird green guy–in fact, back in his Defenders days, he used to collect and trade bootleg Gumby VHSs (seriously–it’s canon). Modern Beast has been having a rough time; give him an excuse to unwind with seven disks’ worth of psychedelic claymation, and maybe a plate of pot brownies.
(And now we’re imagining a stoner comedy starring Hank McCoy and Abigail Brand. MARVEL. CALL US.)
.
WHAT HE’D PREFER: Moral certitude.
.
BACKUP GIFT:Dr. Strange: A Separate Reality, by Steve Englehart and Frank Brunner, because you know Beast would be super into a comic about a buddy of his that two dudes literally wrote while wandering around Central Park tripping balls in the middle of the night.
RIP IT: HOW TO DECONSTRUCT AND RECONSTRUCT THE CLOTHES OF YOUR DREAMS, BY ELISSA MYRICH
.
FOR: Shadowcat. The X-Men’s most die-hard superfashionista can always use another tool in her arsenal–after all, you never know when you’ll find yourself hankering for a new costume with no Shi’ar tech in sight.
.
WHAT SHE’D PREFER: A canonical girlfriend.
.
BACKUP GIFT:The Complete Elfquest, vol. 1.
MAGNUM, P.I.’S SIGNATURE HAWAIIAN SHIRT
.
FOR: Sunspot. I mean, Bobby da Costa probably already owns one of these, or six, but you can really never have too many backup Magnum, P.I. shirts, right?
.
WHAT HE’D PREFER: To actually be Magnum, P.I.
.
BACKUP GIFT: A signed pinup of Tom Selleck.
THE REQUISITE UGLY HOLIDAY SWEATER
.
FOR: Cyclops. Left to his own devices, Scott Summers basically dresses like a six-year-old and has a long tradition of happily sporting really, really horrible sweaters; so you know he’ll at least get some use from it. (Plus, if he hates it, he’ll probably be too polite to say anything.)
.
WHAT HE’D PREFER: A world in which he’s functionally irrelevant.
.
BACKUP GIFT: Socks.
ERROL FLYNN FILM COLLECTION
.
FOR: Nightcrawler. Kurt Wagner is a huge Errol Flynn fan, to the point of modifying his image inducer to reproduce the visage of the classic swashbuckler; so he’s sure to enjoy a boxed set of Flynn’s most famous films.
.
WHAT HE’D PREFER: A soul.
.
BACKUP GIFT: A collection of John Donne sonnets.
LOCAS: THE MAGGIE AND HOPIE STORIES, BY JAIME HERNANDEZ
.
FOR: Magik. I have no actual narrative justification for this. I just think Magik would really dig some Love & Rockets.
.
WHAT SHE’D PREFER: Nothing your fragile mortal mind can grasp, kid.
.
BACKUP GIFT: A iPod preloaded with pop-culture nostalgia podcasts. For someone who runs with the unusually pop-savvy New Mutants, Illyana has spent relatively little of her life with any kind of media access.
CLASSIC X-MEN PVC SET
.
FOR: Iceman. Bobby Drake is all about original-five nostalgia, and he’s kind of a goofball, so he would probably enjoy the hell out of this X-Men PVC set, featuring the original team, Professor X, and Magneto (and one of the better Iceman sculpts out there).
.
WHAT HE’D PREFER: For Professor X to still be alive and everyone to be friends again.
.
BACKUP GIFT: An Elsa tiara.
ALL SEVEN SEASONS OF DESIGNING WOMEN
.
FOR: Rogue. Look, Rogue does not need another pair of fancy gloves. What Rogue needs is seven seasons of the most badass, progressive, Bechdel-test-acing Southern-lady sitcom of all time.
.
WHAT SHE’D PREFER: A three-day bender with Julia Sugarbaker, and maybe conscious control over her powers.
