Roma – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 428 – Naked in a Cake

October 22, 2023 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

So who is that in the cake? (Excalibur #124)

A bridal shower! (Excalibur #124)

A bachelor party! (Excalibur #124)

Seriously, why is this a thing (Excalibur #124)

Yep, we’ve missed the Crazy Gang. (Excalibur #124)

Awk-ward (Excalibur #124)

To answer Suzy Eddie Izzard’s question: cake and death! (Excalibur #124)

And then Feron’s life got even worse. (Excalibur #124)

And a good time was had by all… especially Captain UK and Mimic, I assume. (Excalibur #124)

Love and chaos. (Excalibur #125)

Cameos! (Excalibur #125)

More cameos! (Excalibur #125)

I have questions about this pipe organ. (Excalibur #125)

Healthy… communication? Is that a thing in the Marvel Universe? Is that allowed? (Excalibur #125)

WHO INVITED THE NAZIS (Excalibur #125)

And have they ever earned it. (Excalibur #125)

Gatecrasher has the weeds! (Excalibur #125)

Lockheed, I know you want Piotr and Kitty to get together, but I assure you this will not work out. (Excalibur #125)

Nobody does wedding receptions like the Starlight Citadel of Otherworld. (Excalibur #125)

Man, that really is a shockingly tiny invitation. (Excalibur #125)

See, Feron? Just because everyone forgets about you doesn’t mean you have to jump out of a cake to try to murder people! (Excalibur #125)

Saturnyne, this is literally the worst possible time. (Excalibur #125)

Kurt, this is… also not a great time. (Excalibur #125)

Dammit, now I’m tearing up. (Excalibur #125)

And that, as they say, is that. (Excalibur #125)

NEXT TIME: X-Factor is back! Kind of!

428 – Naked in a Cake

October 22, 2023 Miles 9 comments

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In which you shouldn’t invite nazis to your wedding, there’s a lot of multiverse, Captain Britain and Meggan are pretty heteronormative but make it work, everybody forgot Feron, and the next husband will be Gatecrasher’s.

X-PLAINED:

Captain Britain varieties
The history of Brian Braddock and Meggan Puceanu, abridged
Excalibur #124-125
Mutants most likely to jump out of a cake
The Crazy Gang (again)
Meggan’s crush on Colossus
Colossus’s guilt about Meggan’s crush on Colossus
A surprise bridal shower
The return of Captain UK
Brian Braddock’s teetotaling techniques
Mimic’s ever-changing facial hair
Glorious, glorious chaos
Poor, poor Feron
Multiple awkward conversations
The return of Widget and also everyone else
Lightning Force (dammit)
A lengthy but not exhaustive list of Captains Britain
So many cameos
…Seriously, so many cameos
Dai Thomas’s anti-iron
Shockingly healthy communication
Bouquet brawls and garter gar-nage
A bittersweet ending
Nightcrawler’s best outfit
The universe where the X-Men X-Plain Jay & Miles
Our hypothetical post-finale Excalibur lineup

NEXT EPISODE: The return of X-Factor! Kind of!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 326 – Son of a Gun

March 21, 2021 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Fun times with holograms! (X-Factor #119)

Oh, THAT guy. (X-Factor #119)

If I had a dollar for every date that ended this way… (X-Factor #119)

Sir, your gun appears to be several cardboard boxes. (X-Factor #120)

Well, that’s going to be a problem. (X-Factor #120)

Okay, but seriously, why is Roma in this, again>? (X-Factor #121)

OH SNAP (X-Factor #121)

326 – Son of a Gun

March 14, 2021 Jay 20 comments

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In which it’s hard to be a hologram; the Internet is terrible and you should probably avoid it; we have no idea how Naze is still alive; this is not your mom’s Adversary (if your mom is Fall of the Mutants); Forge is an order muppet; and Sabretooth is not a great addition to most teams.

X-PLAINED:

Skrulls in American history
X-Factor’s attrition rate
The spirit spell (again)
The Adversary (again)
X-Factor #119-121
Hypercolor(TM) t-shirts
Oblivion vs. masturbation
Mark Trail (more) (again)
Forge’s complicated relationship with magic
The death of X-Factor
Several retcons
The resurrection of X-Factor
(Mis)representation of indigenous cultures in X-books
Jim Jaspers vs. the Adversary
The spirit spell (YET AGAIN)
The Feron of X-Factor
Val ‘n’ Victor
Dubious use of technology
A red herring
The lingering spectre of Days of Future Past
Our tech issues
Reasonable accommodations at the Xavier School

NEXT EPISODE: Cable vs. X-Force

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 314 – Feelings, Alaska

November 16, 2020 Jay 3 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Of course, that’s also exactly what a hologram would say. (X-Factor #115)

WHY DOES FORGE HAVE ALL THIS STUFF SAVED IN HIS HOLODECK? (X-Factor #115)

I’m putting all three pages of this flashback in the visual companion, because, while this scene has been shown roughly a zillion times, this one is the gold standard. (X-Factor #115)

This scene is ALSO a pretty good thumbnail guide to how to write Alex Summers and why. (X-Factor #115)

And that’s that, folks! (X-Factor #115)

“I mean, why do YOU come to Alaska? (X-Factor #115)

HECK YEAH (X-Factor #115)

THESE DORKS I LOVE THEM (X-Factor #115)

*wipes away a single tear* (X-Factor #115)

MILES WAS RIGHT. I stand corrected. -J (X-Factor #116)

Shard is cool, but she’d be cooler if she weren’t a cop. (X-Factor #116)

WHAT?! Superheroes trying to TALK through a misunderstanding? Surely Alpha Flight will jump straight to the punching, at least. (X-Factor #116)

…NOPE. (X-Factor #116)

Uncalled for, Roma. (X-Factor #117)

Seriously, don’t sic a sentinel on your team *because you’re not sure one of its members can adequately control his powers.* (X-Factor #117)

I’m pretty sure Random mostly wants a Jolt Cola(TM) and a Sega CD. (X-Factor #117)

…THEY FIGHT CRIME! (X-Factor #118)

Seriously, Random, nobody cares. (X-Factor #118)

Ah, yes, the flaming chasms of… somewhere. (X-Factor #118)

Well, that’s Random. (X-Factor #118)

NEXT EPISODE: Gambit & Wolverine!

LINKS & FURTHER MISUNDERSTANDINGS:

Lauretta Jean’s makes the best pie on earth, and Jay misses it desperately.
Wanna make comics? Wally Wood’s 22 Panels That Always Work are an incredibly useful resource.
We watched so much Sealab 2021 in college.
If you’re interested in the intersections of psychology and superhero comics, check out The Arkham Sessions!
PREVIOUSLY ON JAY & MILES X-PLAIN THE X-MEN
- For more about Scott and Alex’s origin story and picking which versions of canon count, check out Episode 308 – No Story Is the Whole Story.
- Hear about Roma and The Adversary’s last fight in Episode 86 – Legends.
- Dr. Andrea Letamendi joined us to discuss representations of mental illness and therapy in X-Factor in Episode 216 – X-Amining X-Factor.
- Our coverage of the Age of Apocalypse starts in Episode 287 – Welcome to the Age of Apocalypse…
- …and we focus on Cyclops and Havok’s relationship in that universe in Episode 292 – Weekend at Sinster’s.

314 – Feelings, Alaska

November 16, 2020 Jay 7 comments

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In which Haven deserved better; Cyclops and Havok have a lot of feelings in Alaska; X-Factor is the cop team; breaking up with your girlfriend between issues is a massive faux pas; Haven got a bad deal; no one cares about Random’s feelings; Spiral is weird Twitter; and Alex Summers once again fails to finish his dissertation.

X-PLAINED:

Chaos (Daniel Dash)
Pie
Power suits vs. power suits
X-Factor #115-118
Haven (more) (again)
The Adversary (more) (again)
Naze (more) (again)
Several people who may or may not be holograms
One of Jay’s all-time-favorite single issues
Howard Mackie
Wally Wood’s 22 Panels
The Summers Family plane crash
Cyclops and Havok’s relationship
Havok’s Silver Age origins
Trans readings of Alex Summers
Shard (more) (again)
Canadian drama
A trap
The return of Random
Roma (again)
Mojoworlders on social media
Which X-teens should be audience surrogates in a new animated series

NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine & Gambit!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 220 – On Your Bike

October 29, 2018 Jay 4 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Who wore it better? (Excalibur #61)

I’m pretty sure nobody actually cares about Micromax; but, whatever. (Excalibur #61)

Widget, stop that immediately. (Excalibur #61)

AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (Excalibur #61)

If there’s anything this series has taught us, it’s never to trust a man named Nigel. (Excalibur #62)

In case you’re wondering, most of this visual companion is going to be pictures of cool-looking Warpies. (Excalibur #62)

No, seriously. (Excalibur #62)

Aw, Beetroot. (Excalibur #62)

This poor kid. (Excalibur #62)

*Snerk* (Excalibur #62)

WARPIES, THO (Excalibur #63)

Aw. (Excalibur #63)

What’s that you say? More Warpies? WE’VE GOT YOUR BACK! (Excalibur #63)

I’m not even going to bother captioning these. You know the drill. (Excalibur #63)

(Excalibur #63)

Widget and the amazing technicolor future genocide by giant r–well, that took a bit of a turn. (Excalibur #64)

PRO TIP: If you stare long enough at your friends and neighbors’ faces without blinking, they will also do this eventually. (Excalibur #65)

Rowr. (Excalibur #65)

“Well, that can’t be good.” (Excalibur #65)

Ouch, dang. (Excalibur #65)

Aw, Oak. You’re a good dude. (Excalibur #65)

And that, as they say, is that. For now. (Excalibur #65)

NEXT EPISODE: Space Fight!

LINKS & FURTHER DUBIOUS LIFE CHOICES:

COME SEE US THIS COMING WEEKEND AT VEGAS VALLEY COMIC BOOK FESTIVAL!
For more in-depth coverage of pre-Excalibur Captain Britain, check out Episode 97 – The Crooked World and Episode 98 – Between Alien Visitations and Drunken Sulks.
Jay wasn’t kidding about the kid from Flight of the Navigator robbing a bank.

220 – On Your Bike

October 29, 2018 Jay 7 comments

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In which we approach the end of Alan Davis’s Excalibur run; “duopenultimate” is not actually a word; Captain Britain pops the question; we do in fact (kinda) get follow-up on Alysande Stuart’s death; Miles needs to get a little less credulous about bureaucrats’ good intentions; Shadowcat engages in espionage; Nightcrawler and Cerise are tactically saucy; and the sun definitely ought to set on the British Empire.

X-PLAINED:

Warpies
Excalibur #61-65
The Jaspers Warp (more) (again)
The RCX (more) (again)
Agents Gabriel and Michael
What happened to Jay’s mom’s Hypercolor™ T-shirt
What not to do with a dead parrot
Several Hamlet references
Scott Wright (MicroMax)
The Cherubim
Cloud Nine
Agent Peter (Nigel Orpington-Smythe)
Warpie naming conventions
Beetroot
Screen tone
An idiom
Evasive makeouts
A specific thing on The Gifted
Why Kitty Pryde tends to go by her given name

NEXT EPISODE: Space Fight!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

196 – The Power Is Yours

May 6, 2018 Jay 18 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which space bugs break time; you may already be a member of Excalibur; Earth-616 remains somewhat baffled by basic telecommunications technology; you should absolutely not order monkeys from an ad in a comic book; Widget gets a new look; Excalibur gets a new logo; Merlin X-Plains everything; and Rachel gets in touch with her roots.

X-PLAINED:

The Timebroker
Excalibur #48-50
What “fair use” doesn’t mean
Penis bones, revisited
Feron
Prophylactic levitation
Several inaccurate flashbacks
Someone who is neither a Nazi nor Charles Xavier
Necrom (again)
The art of heroic exposition
Monastic population maintenance
Mail-order monkeys
Widget’s new look
Kylun’s mutant power
Several alternate Excaliburs
The True Secret Purpose of Excalibur
The new Excalibur logo
Fighting weird with weird
A whole lot of history
Phoenix vs. Anti-Phoenix
Some very epic thwarting
The end of an era
Alan Davis’s Excalibur
How we work alternate timelines into coverage
Bishop and Deathbird as a couple

NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine: The Jungle Adventure and Bloody Choices!

UPDATE: Apparently the dead mail-order monkeys were apocryphal, although we were able to dig up some fairly nightmarish accounts of live mail-order monkeys. …Yay?

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)