scott summers – Page 27 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

25 – The Best at What He Does

October 6, 2014 Jay 16 comments

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Art by David Wynne, after Katsushika Hokusai.

In which Wolverine gets his first miniseries, Yukio is still (and forever) the best, we categorically reject the classification “manic pixie dreamgirl,” everything is noir as hell, Wolverine gets an Iron Giant moment, Storm is too cool for your dress code, and we finally made “Probably a Summers Brother” t-shirts.

X-Plained:

X-23
The 1982 Wolverine miniseries
Uncanny X-Men #172-173
Rachel’s Wolverine feelings
An auspicious road trip
Early Frank Miller
A really epic team-up
Plug’n’play storytelling
How to tell a good Wolverine story
Mariko Yashida
Honor
Shingen Yashida
Yukio
The Inverse Law of Ninjas
The Forty-Seven Ronin
Silver Samurai
Viper
A Ninja meet-cute
The Cyclops / Wolverine double standard
The secret origins of Wolverine’s mask and hair

Next Week: The New Mutants meet Team America!

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

As Mentioned in Episode 24 – Ororo, Queen of the Galaxy

September 28, 2014 Jay 18 comments

Listen to the episode here!

ORORO, QUEEN OF THE GALAXY, by David Wynne. (Prints available here until October 5.)

Lockheed vs. Pete Wisdom. (Excalibur #97)

Ironically, the thing she’s mad about might be the one time he actually isn’t, but the point stands in general. (X-Men #168)

Lockheed lurks. (X-Men #168)

This isn’t really relevant to the episode–we’re just hoping someone will use it as the basis for a Kitty Pryde magical-girl transformation sequence. (X-Men #168)

Scott and Lee: STILL AWESOME. (X-Men #168)

Before that one Hawkeye thing, there was this. (X-Men #168)

AWESOME TEAM-UP OF AWESOME. (X-Men #168)

But I think we all know the REAL point of X-Men #168. (We’re reviving this for this week’s art challenge – send your Kitty Pryde costume redesigns to xplainthexmen(at)gmail(dot)com!)

Very Nude Nightcrawler. (X-Men #169)

Dragon-sitting is basically the X-Men girlfriend test. (X-Men #169)

Remember that time X-Men straight-up did Barbarella? (Also the time Angel got pinned up by his wings in the Morlock tunnels. No, not that time. The other time.) (X-Men #169)

This cover is slashy in every sense of the word. (X-Men #170)

Well, then. (X-Men #170)

Remember that time Storm straight-up stabbed someone through the heart? BECAUSE THAT DEFINITELY HAPPENED. (X-Men #170)

And then Walt Simonson drew Storm, and we had Feelings. (X-Men #171)

Rogue also has feelings, but they’re less about the transcendent perfection of Simonson’s art than about her out-of-control powers. Sorry, Rogue. (X-Men #171)

Well, that escalated quickly. (X-Men #171)

This might be the most Rogue moment ever. (X-Men #171)

Remember that time Professor X was actually pretty fucking awesome? (X-Men #171)

For full effect, you have to imagine Wolverine’s lines in Steven Blum’s voice. I mean, you should really be doing that anyway. (X-Men #172)

YUKIO. Much, much more about her next week, but she’s the best. (X-Men #172)

For real, there is literally nothing you can say that will convince Rachel that these two are not TOTALLY DOING IT. (X-Men #173)

They really can’t kick her off the team after that. (X-Men #173)

BRB HAVING FEELINGS. (X-Men #173)

Oh. THAT asshole. (X-Men #173)

Meanwhile in Alaska, the most awkward meet-cute ever. (X-Men #168)

Here’s the thing about Scott and Madelyne: they’re actually kind of awesome together. Doomed, but awesome. (X-Men #170)

As a character who’s spent most of his life in a Claremont-written world, Scott is unfamiliar with the concept of coincidence. (X-Men #171)

Then, again, having spent years reading stories set in a Claremont-written world, we find it difficult to believe that this was actually just supposed to have been a coincidence. (X-Men #172)

Lilandra agrees. (X-Men #173)

HEPZIBAH, NEVER CHANGE. (X-Men #174)

This is funny because both of these relationships are super doomed. (X-Men #174)

A brief interlude of adorability from these goofy kids. (X-Men #174)

REMEMBER THAT PRIEST? Yeah. Totally Mastermind. God damnit, Mastermind. (X-Men #174)

Look, it’s a reasonable question under the circumstances. (X-Men #174)

Oh. (X-Men #174)

WELL, THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY. (X-Men #175)

Okay. This looks bad. (X-Men #175)

Really bad. (X-Men #175)

Really, really bad. (X-Men #175)

Cyclops-gritting-his-teeth-and-being-brilliant-in-the-face-of-impossible-odds is the best Cyclops. (X-Men #175)

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh. (X-Men #175)

Not elegant, but efficient. (X-Men #175)

This is a really good speech, as such things go, but it’s also really funny that he went to the graveyard in his tux. (X-Men #175)

And then they lived happily ever… oh. (X-Men #175)

Next week: Wolverine demonstrates the Inverse Ninja Law.

24 – Ororo, Queen of the Galaxy

September 28, 2014 Jay 12 comments

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In which Professor X is (canonically!) a jerk, Miles has Sidrian Hunter feelings, Kitty Pryde is Clarissa Darling with a dragon, we introduce a drinking game, the X-Men do Barbarella, Rachel has a ‘shipper moment, Rogue joins the team, Storm gets a haircut, Mastermind is still the worst, and Madelyne Pryor is underrated.

X-Plained:

Lockheed
Uncanny X-Men #168-175
Reset issues
A one-sided rivalry
The lowest-drama X-romance
The Cream of Wheat box as a metaphor for infinity
Kitty’s Kostume Korner
Rachel’s questionably-canon ships
The Morlocks
Class privilege and the mutant metaphor
Callisto
Caliban
Sunder
Plague
Masque
A dubbing error
Gender dimorphism in superhero media
Storm’s first major character arc
Our single favorite superhero artist
Rogue
Rogue’s accent
A Charles Xavier we can believe in
Yukio
Punk Storm
Madelyne Pryor
Closure
Cyclops vs. formalwear

Art Challenge: Send us your Kitty Pryde costume redesigns–any era, any codename–to xplainthexmen(at)gmail(dot)com

Next Week: Claremont and Miller’s Wolverine!

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

As Mentioned in Episode 22 – Through Death and Through Life

September 7, 2014 Jay 8 comments

Listen to the episode here!

At some point, someone pointed out that this is technically Anniversary X, and it was a pretty slippery slope from there.

We are aware that our favorite romance has its share of detractors. We don’t care. (Art by David Wynne.)

Actual photograph of Rachel and Miles at their 8th-grade graduation dance. (X-Men #32)

This is literally as explicit a conversation they have about it for… pretty much the entire Silver Age. (X-Men #32)

Proposal #1. Unfortunately, Jean is a) actually the Phoenix Force, and b) about to die on the moon. (Uncanny X-Men #136)

Not directly pertinent, but it’s one of our favorite moments. (Uncanny X-Men #137)

Scott saying goodbye to Jean immediately before marrying Madelyne Pryor. That really, really didn’t work out, but we like the sentiment–that “true love” doesn’t always have to mean “one true love.” (Uncanny X-Men #175)

Scott doesn’t actually work out that Madelyne and Jean are identical until X-Factor #14. Headcanon: Hella prosopagnosia.

Scott and Jean are reunited in a panel that appears to have fled from Apartment 3-G to X-Factor #1.

Jean gets Madelyne and Phoenix’s memories–and her own telepathy–back. (X-Factor #38)

Proposal #2. (X-Factor #53)

Jean’s response. (X-Factor #53)

“Fatal Attractions” was a rough time for everyone, but probably worst for Wolverine. (X-Men vol. 2 #75)

Proposal #3, guest-starring John Romita, Jr.’s profoundly alarming faces. (Uncanny X-Men #308)

Fate can go fuck itself. Damn, we love these two. (Uncanny X-Men #308)

There is probably no other panel from the entire 50 years of X-Men that we’ve sent back and forth more than this one. (Uncanny X-Men #308)

He’s actually fighting some dude who broke into the X-mansion and bonding with his time-displaced kid, but the basic principle of failing-at-bachelor-party still stands. (Uncanny X-Men #310)

And now, the main event. (X-Men vol. 2 #30)

Andy Kubert x body language. (X-Men vol. 2 #30)

Charles Xavier of X-Men vol. 2 #30 is the best Charles Xavier.

He also has the best timing. (X-Men vol. 2 #30)

Look at all those X-Men. (X-Men vol. 2 #30)

Can we have a moment of silent appreciation for the fact that Storm managed to find a dress that perfectly encapsulates the 1990s? (X-Men vol. 2 #30)

Best vows? Best vows. (X-Men vol. 2 #30)

Scott, Jean, we’re gonna let you finish… (X-Men vol. 2 #30)

…but Rogue and Gambit’s kiss in X-Men vol. 2 #41 is the best kiss in X-Men.

September 4, 2014.

Links:

Print of the week! You can find prints of David Wynne’s “Haters Gonna Hate” Scott & Jean illustration over at our shop until September 14–or drop David a line to buy the original!
The real Cats Laughing

NEXT WEEK: Rachel and Miles are going on vacation. Read a book. WEEK AFTER NEXT: The New Mutants!

22 – Through Death and Through Life

September 7, 2014 Jay 24 comments

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scottandjeanv3_cropped — Art by David Wynne

In which Rachel and Miles celebrate an anniversary with a retrospective of one of the great romances of the Marvel universe; the Summers/Grey family tree is more of a transdimensional strawberry patch; the X-Men play some football; Professor Xavier is not a jerk; and Scott Summers and Jean Grey are the power couple of existentialism.

X-Plained

Summers kids
Scott and Jean
Feelings
X-Men #32
The worst date ever
Madelyne Pryor
Plot-relevant prosopagnosia
Three proposals
X-Factor #53
Uncanny X-Men #308
“Fatal Attractions”
That one panel that gets us every time
X-Men vol. 2 #30
Some really excellent wedding vows
The best kiss in X-Men
Cats Laughing
Why “One” is actually a pretty decent first dance
Existential ramifications of fictional romance

Next week: Rachel and Miles take a much-needed vacation.

Week after next: The New Mutants!

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

As Mentioned in Episode 21 – Kurt Busiek at the Coffee-a-Go-Go

August 31, 2014 Jay 8 comments

Listen to the episode here!

METOXO the lava man, as teased in X-Men #48–but never revealed!

Beast and Iceman teach METOXO the true meaning of Christmas in the 1994 Marvel Holiday Special.

Angel X-Plains the Phoenix retcon. (X-Factor #1)

In X-Men #37, five reasonably normal-looking teenagers dive out of a plane…

…and then this happens. (X-Men #37)

In which Jean Grey, given the choice between the Silver Age’s two stock career options for female protagonists, opts for option A. (X-Men #48)

Scott Summers’ radio career lasted five whole panels. Here are four of them. We remain annoyed that none of them actually show him recording, because that would be really useful as a podcast graphic. (X-Men #48)

The Coffee-a-Go-Go made its debut in X-Men #7, along with regular Bernard the Poet and acerbic waitress Zelda.

There are a lot of Coffee-a-Go-Go stories, but Bobby’s 18th birthday, from X-Men #32, is probably the best.

Bernard the poet sells out in the name of birthday cheer. (X-Men #32)

Zelda’s original line, from X-Men #7 (she was originally a redhead)…

…and Busiek’s homage in the 1994 Marvel Holiday Special.

Iceman vs. ice skating. (X-Men #29)

We’ll be giving it its own post on Monday, but David Wynne’s art of the original X-Men as Enid Blyton’s Famous Five goes way too well with this episode.

Next Episode: Fast-forwarding to 1994 for the wedding of Scott Summers and Jean Grey.

Links & Further Reading:

Kurt Busiek
Unpublished X-Men
The X-Axis Silver-Age Index (archived)
Marvels
X-Men #32
X-Men #37
X-Men #48
Marvel Holiday Special 1994
Slan, by A. E. van Vogt
Children of the Atom, by Wilmar H. Shiras
Mutant, by Lewis Padgett (Henry Kuttner)
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, by Michael Chabon
The Dark Is Rising Sequence, by Susan Cooper
Astro City
Tooth and Claw

21 – Kurt Busiek at the Coffee-a-Go-Go

August 31, 2014 Jay 34 comments

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In which special guest Kurt Busiek is the J. Robert Oppenheimer of X-Men, Rachel and Miles learn to love the Silver Age, Cyclops gets a job, Bernard the Poet falls from grace, we really wish X-Men: The Secret Years was a real book, everyone recites poetry, and we still don’t get around to Marvels.

X-Plained:

METOXO, the Lava Man
The true, secret purpose of Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men
The Phoenix retcon
Archival pocket dimensions
Enid Blyton’s X-Men
Early-to-mid-20^th Century American Jewish Socialism
Why the X-Men are terrible mutant P.R.
Band names of the Silver Age
An X-Men series that might have been.
Why Cyclops should be the Rachel Maddow of Marvel
Quicksilver’s childhood dreams
The Coffee-a-Go-Go
Bernard the Poet
Zelda Kurtzberg
The Barefoot Beats

Next week: The wedding of Scott Summers and Jean Grey!

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

As Mentioned in Episode 20 – The Brood They Carried

August 24, 2014 Jay 9 comments

Listen to the podcast here!

WELL, THEN. (X-Men #161)

SPACE FASHION! (X-Men #161)

Stun bombs are to comics as knockout spray is to cartoons. (X-Men #161)

We really only included this to point out the smoke coming from Wolverine’s underwear. (X-Men #162)

And that’s how you do a cold open. (X-Men #162)

Remember this space whale. It’ll be important later. (X-Men #162)

So, that’s a little creepy, and… (X-Men #162)

…AUGH WAIT WHAT THE HELL?! (X-Men #162)

Fang just cannot catch a break. (X-Men #162)

This is one of very, very few times when Wolverine’s healing factor has been written as at all under his control. (X-Men #162)

How cool would it have been if he’d kept this look? Hint: So cool. (X-Men #162)

Fair warning: This visual companion is basically an excuse to post a lot of really awesome Carol Danvers moments. (X-Men #163)

Cyclops successfully completes TWO whole hugs during the Brood Saga! Also: space fashion. (X-Men #163)

So, THAT’S CREEPY. (X-Men #163)

Remember that thing about how this visual companion is mostly an excuse to post pictures of Carol Danvers being awesome? That. (X-Men #164)

ROCKET SHARKS. (X-Men #164)

Including this just for the dozen people who have written us to ask if Storm’s powers work in space (also covered in the Phoenix Saga, incidentally). (X-Men #164)

In which Claremont and/or Cockrum seem to forget that Kitty’s powers fry electrical systems. (X-Men #164)

BINARY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. (X-Men #164)

Imagine how much of Inferno could have been avoided if the Professor had decided to press this point. (X-Men #164)

AUGH GOD BINARY IS SO AWESOME. (X-Men #164)

Not that Cockrum’s not great, but can we have a moment of silence for how amazingly Neal Adams would’ve drawn this specific panel? (X-Men #164)

If you like the Brood Saga, you should be reading the current Captain Marvel series (and vice versa). This is very much the Carol Danvers of both. (X-Men #164)

That moment when the Brood Saga could’ve become a really heavy-handed reproductive-rights allegory, and we’re all really grateful that it didn’t. (X-Men #164)

Well, fuck. (X-Men #164)

Binary: Too awesome for your stupid airlock. (X-Men #164)

That time Moira MacTaggert manipulated Charles Xavier into starting a second ongoing X-book. (X-Men #165)

Welcome to X-Men, Paul Smith! Hope you survive the experience! (X-Men #165)

Faced with certain and inevitable death, the X-Men decide to go kill some Brood. (X-Men #165)

Rad bromance. (X-Men #165)

CORRECT CHOICE, COLOSSUS. (X-Men #165)

Remember that time Storm became a space whale and quoted Phoenix? (X-Men #165)

Seriously, though: Binary. (X-Men #166)

WELL, THEN. (X-Men #166)

Mostly in here to point out that Kitty’s impending death has not cooled her affection for the Shi’ar fashion machines. (X-Men #166)

Storm X-plains the Acanti, part one. (X-Men #166)

Storm X-plains the Acanti, part two. (X-Men #166)

Our episode outline addresses this panel as follows:

KITTY YOU ARE THE BEST NERD
DOES CYCLOPS WATCH STAR TREK? DISCUSS. SHOW YOUR WORK.

(X-Men #166)

(X-Men: Evolution Cyclops definitely watches Star Trek, for the record.)

In addition to the shocking reveal, this moment leads to one of stupidest and most avoidable minor continuity errors of the issue. (X-Men #166)

Best Brood moment? Best Brood moment. (X-Men #166)

LOCKHEED! (X-Men #166)

And they all lived happily ever after. (X-Men #166)

OH, WAIT. (X-Men #166)

Just in case you haven’t caught on to the fact that this is an extended thematic and structural riff on the Dark Phoenix Saga. (X-Men #167)

Can we talk about the New Mutants’ adorable collective crush on Magnum, P.I.? (X-Men #167)

THAT SUBTITLE. (X-Men #167)

Kitty’s got a new outfit. Take a drink. (X-Men #167)

Okay. This looks bad. (X-Men #167)

Speaking of the Dark Phoenix Saga… (X-Men #167)

Cyclops has a good day (and completes an unprecedented SECOND successful hug in the same story!), but this plot thread is going to lead straight to Madelyne Pryor, so, that’s probably a net loss. (X-Men #167)

That time Empress Lilandra projected into Reed and Sue Storm’s bedroom to scold them in the middle of the night. (X-Men #167)

Professor Xavier returns to life, and Kitty gets yet ANOTHER new outfit. Two drinks. (X-Men #167)

In which Kitty learns what the reader has known all along. (X-Men #167)

Next Week: Back to the Silver Age (and a very important retcon) with Kurt Busiek!

20 – The Brood They Carried

August 24, 2014 Jay 21 comments

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In which Claremont levels up; the Brood are legitimately scary; Colossus is an ethical dude; Nightcrawler and Wolverine share beers in the face of certain death; Storm turns into a space whale; we are Carol Corps for life; New Mutants are really into Magnum, P.I.; Kitty meets a dragon; and Xavier dies (again).

X-Plained:

Broo
The Brood Saga (X-Men #161-167)
Paul Smith
Space fashion
A really terrible awards ceremony
Tim O’Brien’s X-Men
The Brood
How to tell a good Wolverine story
Rocket sharks
The single most badass magical-girl transformation sequence of all time
Binary
The X-Men’s Kobayashi Maru
Friendship (more) (again)
The Acanti
Whether Cyclops watches Star Trek
The New Mutants
Cloning
Our secret cold-open formula
Cosmic crossovers

Next Week: Kurt Busiek! We would have words with thee!

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

As Mentioned in Episode 17 – The Island of Dr. Corbeau

August 3, 2014 Jay 22 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Is there a friendship equivalent to “we ‘ship it”? Because, that. (Uncanny X-Men #154)

And you think it’s a pain when your parents visit. (Uncanny X-Men #154)

Corsair, X-Plained. (Uncanny X-Men #154)

Cyclops: Not all that quick on the uptake. (Uncanny X-Men #154)

Remember when this happened and it was hilarious? (Uncanny X-Men #114)

Get used to it, kid. (Uncanny X-Men #154)

Roy and Phil are the new Harvey and Janet. (Uncanny X-Men #154)

That’s… pretty valid, actually. (Uncanny X-Men #154)

Corsair does a lot of X-Plaining this issue. (Uncanny X-Men #154)

In Cyclops’s defense, he did, in fact, have the worst childhood ever. (Uncanny X-Men #155)

This is basically how the Shi’ar say Hello. (Uncanny X-Men #155)

Never change, Kitty Pryde. (Uncanny X-Men #155)

The lady in the fuchsia coat is hardcore judging you, Corsair. (Uncanny X-Men #155)

The Brood’s arsenal includes a super rad op-art ray. (Uncanny X-Men #155)

‘Kay, then. (Uncanny X-Men #155)

Wolveine is hella into fighting with the Brood, which is good, because he’s gonna be doing a lot of that a couple arcs from now. (Uncanny X-Men #155)

Spoiler: He’s gonna be okay. (Uncanny X-Men #155)

REMEMBER THESE BADASSES? They’re back. And we love them. (Uncanny X-Men #156)

We weren’t kidding when we said Phil and Roy were the new Harvey and Janet. (Uncanny X-Men #156)

THE STARJAMMERS ARE SO RAD THAT WE CAN ONLY TALK ABOUT THEM IN ALL CAPS. (Uncanny X-Men #156)

Hepzibah demonstrates the proper way to interrupt a dramatic moment. P.S. REMEMBER WHEN WE SAID THE STARJAMMERS ARE FUCKING DELIGHTFUL? THE STARJAMMERS ARE FUCKING DELIGHTFUL, YOU GUYS. (Uncanny X-Men #156)

The Brood are dicks, man. (Uncanny X-Men #156)

It’s okay. He’ll be back. (Uncanny X-Men #157)

Yeah, we’re not sure what’s going on in that first outfit, either. (Uncanny X-Men #157)

Uncanny X-Men #157, in which Kitty Pryde saves the world with costumes. Like, seriously.

And then, for no apparent reason, she changes into a Peter Pan outfit. You do you, Kitty. You do you. (Uncanny X-Men #157)

Meanwhile, in Avengers Annual #10, it’s raining Marvels.

Fun fact: Jessica Drew is long-time buds with the X-Men. (Avengers Annual #10)

Well, that explains it. (Uncanny X-Men #158)

Rogue’s default villain M.O. was really, really creepy. (Avengers Annual #10)

REMEMBER HOW THAT HAPPENED AND NONE OF THE AVENGERS SAW ANY PROBLEM WITH IT? (Avengers Annual #10)

You know the runs that gymnasts do as the lead-up to really spectacular tumbling passes? This is Chris Claremont’s equivalent, only instead of doing a bunch of flips, he is going to call out some of the most bullshit writing of the previous year. (Avengers Annual #10)

STANDING. FUCKING. OVATION. That said, it’s pretty depressing that this came out in 1981 and still reads as a lot more progressive than the handling of sexual violence in a lot of current comics. (Avengers Annual #10)

The return of Dr. Peter Corbeau. (Uncanny X-Men #158)

I WONDER IF THIS WILL BECOME RELEVANT LATER. (Uncanny X-Men #158)

Senator Kelly: Still a jerk. (Uncanny X-Men #158)

“Hey, Alex, you know how all you wanted was a normal life? Yeah, I just dropped by to tell you our dad’s been alive for the last twenty years. And he’s a space pirate. And your hat looks stupid.” (Uncanny X-Men #158)