Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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As Mentioned in Episode 171 – Badly Punctuated Equilibrium

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! https://xplainthexmen.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/X170.mp3
Domestic bliss, X-Factor-style. (X-Factor Forever #1)
Aw, this guy. (X-Factor Forever #1)
Timmy’s grandmother has good judgment. (X-Factor Forever #1)
“Hey, kids! Have some flechettes!” (X-Factor Forever #1)
Dang. Good job, Hank. (X-Factor Forever #1)
“I did, however, find myself some sweet new glasses.” (X-Factor Forever #1)
Every drawing of Apocalypse’s face in this series is utterly delightful. (X-Factor Forever #2)
When writers no-prize the art… (X-Factor Forever #2)
DAMNIT, TIMMY. (X-Factor Forever #2)
Happy birthday, Timmy, I guess? (X-Factor Forever #2)
Well, THAT can’t be good. (X-Factor Forever #3)
This series makes a fairly good case for both mutant rights and subsidized childcare. (X-Factor Forever #3)
How you know it’s serious business. (X-Factor Forever #3)
I love that they have named and numbered all of their special moves. (X-Factor Forever #3)
“Dude, we are literally holding up one of those children, right here, in front of you.” (X-Factor Forever #3)
Well, shit. (X-Factor Forever #3)
Aw, man, this cover is so fun. (X-Factor Forever #4)
If only your boss listened to Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men. (X-Factor Forever #4)
X-Factor, doing what they do best! (X-Factor Forever #4)
BUT WHY ARE THEY ALL DRESSED UP? (X-Factor Forever #4)
Can we all just take a moment to enjoy Sinister’s deeply goofy face in this panel? (X-Factor Forever #4)
“Who’s on first,” Summers family edition. (X-Factor Forever #4)
Seriously, it’s a great reaction image. (X-Factor Forever #4)
Pretty much any variation on this panel will always get me straight in the feels. (X-Factor Forever #4)
“I dunno. What if we just, like, lob a baby at him?” (X-Factor Forever #5)
I just really like this panel. (X-Factor Forever #5)
“You didn’t tell me this was a VACATION,” said Cyclops. (X-Factor Forever #5)
NEXT EPISODE: The Muir Island Saga, and the secret origins of this nonsense!

As Mentioned in Episode 170 – Minor Punitive Heart Attacks

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Man, Excalibur, way to be jerks. (Excalibur #37)
If I had a dollar for every dream that had started this way… (Excalibur #37)
Spoiler: Nah. (Excalibur #37)
Kitty, you probably should’ve seen that coming. (Excalibur #37)
And now, some West Coast Avengers! (Excalibur #37)
The Lady of the… swimming pool? (Excalibur #37)
Convenient, that! (Excalibur #37)
Headcanon: He is definitely singing that music. (Excalibur #37)
Pietro’s not wrong; he’s just an asshole. (Excalibur #38)
Captain Britain, everybody. (Excalibur #38)
The heart of Limbo! (Excalibur #38)
“The reel, on the other hand…” (Excalibur #38)
“For me, it was Tuesday.” (Excalibur #39)
Bye, S’ym! (Excalibur #39)
And then everyone forgot he existed. (Excalibur #39)
Or maybe you should learn how meter works. Y’know, just a thought. (Excalibur #40)
Lockheed X-Plains Excalibur. (Excalibur #40)
Lockheed, NO. (Excalibur #40)
Aw. Dai Thomas has his moments. (Excalibur #40)
Spoiler: They do not kill him. (Excalibur #40)
The punchline is that they STILL haven’t figure out phones. (Excalibur #40)
This gag really never gets old. (Excalibur #41)
‘Kay. (Excalibur #41)
It’s always Inferno in here. (Excalibur #41)
This must be the best day of Dai Thomas’s life. (Excalibur #41)
Is it ever, though? (Excalibur #41)
THERE IS NO WAY THAT THAT WON’T BACKFIRE HORRIBLY. (Excalibur #41)
I like the idea that Cable is basically the X-Switchboard at this point. (Excalibur #41)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor Forever!

As Mentioned in Episode 169 – Bad Kansas

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
SO, THAT’S GRAPHIC. (Excalibur: Weird War III)
Yeah, I’m with Phoenix on this one. (Excalibur: Weird War III)
Oh, that’s NEVER good. (Excalibur: Weird War III)
I’m not gonna say that Havok’s hat is the greatest abomination of this world, but it’s a pretty bad hat. (Excalibur: Weird War III)
Oh, that makes perfect… sense? (Excalibur: Weird War III)
Professor Xavier is a jerk. (Excalibur: Weird War III)
Seriously. Professor Xavier is a jerk. (Excalibur: Weird War III)
It’s hard to be a Phoenix host in a hell dimension. (Excalibur: Weird War III)
Those eyebrows, though. Daaaamn. (Excalibur: Weird War III)
Seriously, those things are off the rails. (Excalibur: Weird War III)
And then the Phoenix defeated the Nazis with the power of gayness. (Excalibur: Weird War III)
Well, that’s one way to do it. (Excalibur: Weird War III)
So, yeah. Giant Naked Cosmic Nazi Space Xavier. (Excalibur: Weird War III)
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! (New Mutants Summer Special)
Have we mentioned that Brett Blevins is a national treasure and must be protected at all costs? Brett Blevins is a national treasure and must be protected at all costs. (New Mutants Summer Special)
Aw, lurking moppets! (New Mutants Summer Special)
Warlock! We’ve missed you! (New Mutants Summer Special)
Well, that’s one way to make friends. (New Mutants Summer Special)
It’s… it’s… A METAPHOR! (New Mutants Summer Special)
Nothing familiar going on here… (New Mutants Summer Special)
Aw, Rahne. Every dang time. (New Mutants Summer Special)
Mookie has a bright future in P.R. (New Mutants Summer Special)
Welcome to Hunter S. Thompson’s Phantom Tollbooth! Meet Manufactured Consent… (New Mutants Summer Special)
…and a possibly-recognizable political figure. (New Mutants Summer Special)
Media literacy is the real superpower! (No, seriously; it’s really important.) (New Mutants Summer Special)
Somewhere, there’s a parallel universe where Brett Blevins is a really successful political cartoonist. (New Mutants Summer Special)
I’m not sure exactly what we’re supposed to get out of this panel. (New Mutants Summer Special)
This kid is so great. (New Mutants Summer Special)
And now, Situation Ethics! (New Mutants Summer Special)
Burn down the establishment, Mookie! Seize the means of production! (New Mutants Summer Special)
Well, that went some places. (New Mutants Summer Special)
Look, we never said it was a subtle story. (New Mutants Summer Special)
NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur: The Fill-Ins!

As Mentioned in Episode 167 – Full Circle

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Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Dude, you literally gave Ship to X-Factor. (X-Factor #65)
Aw, buddy. (X-Factor #65)
Valid point. (X-Factor #65)
This makes NO SENSE given the original context of the quotation, and I’m irrationally upset about that. (X-Factor #65)
An entirely reasonable reaction to Archangel, TBH. (X-Factor #66)
How you can tell that Important Stuff Is Afoot. (X-Factor #66)
Meet Jen “Not Rachel Summers” Askani! (X-Factor #66)
And that’s why you always leave a note. (X-Factor #66)
Oof. (X-Factor #67)
Oh. Those guys. (X-Factor #67)
Nothing nice ever happens on the moon. (X-Factor #67)
Look at these beautiful weirdos! (X-Factor #67)
Okay, but those animals are creepy as hell. (X-Factor #68)
There are a lot of callbacks to the Dark Phoenix Saga in this story, but this is one of the best. (X-Factor #68)
OH, SNAP. (X-Factor #68)
It’s okay. You’ll get to raise him in the future, in a surprisingly good miniseries! (X-Factor #68)
And the Watcher gets the last word. (X-Factor #68)
Whilce Portacio and Jackson Guice’s unused cover for the original X-Factor #66. Thanks, Comic Book Resources!
And now, The Apocalypse Manifesto, which is not a manifesto at all, but whatever.
I’m not gonna write witty captions for all of these. Just read ’em if you feel like it.
Seriously.
It’s been a very long several weeks. Don’t judge me.
NEXT EPISODE: Live from NYCC, with Chris Claremont and Louise Simonson!

As Mentioned in Episode 166 – Proteus Has Two Mommies

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
“We don’t need no conservation of mass!” (New Mutants Annual #7)
Harness and Piecemeal. It only gets creepier from here. (New Mutants Annual #7)
This is definitely the last thing you see before you die. (New Mutants Annual #7)
Spoiler: Nope. (New Mutants Annual #7)
99% sure these dudes do not actually know how to play chess. (New Mutants Annual #7)
How great would it have been if Cable had made a Gulliver’s Travels joke? So great. (New Mutants Annual #7)
“Attack them with all your sound effects!” (New Mutants Annual #7)
Spoiler: They do, and it’s not. (New Mutants Annual #7)
OH, THANK GOD. (New Warriors Annual #1)
Piecemeal’s shirt is a little on-the-nose. (New Warriors Annual #1)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdJg6Duzzf4 (New Warriors Annual #1)
Namorita is great. (New Warriors Annual #1)
Oh, dear me. (New Warriors Annual #1)
I really like all the character-intro pages in this crossover. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)
Mother of the year, y’all. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)
You’re never too evil or too sexy for some good, old-fashioned filicide! (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)
You sure are, James. You sure are. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)
Inappropriate, Bobby. (X-Factor Annual #6)
None of my math textbooks were ever this psychedelic. (X-Factor Annual #6)
I briefly considered making this visual companion nothing but character-intro pages. (X-Factor Annual #6)
“Kings of Pain? Oh, yeah, isn’t that the crossover where Cyclops encourages a disturbed youth to commit suicide?” (X-Factor Annual #6)
(Nah, actually, he’s comparatively ethical about it; especially considering that the kid is technically already dead and has been for years.) (X-Factor Annual #6)
Okay, then. (X-Factor Annual #6)
NEXT EPISODE: Summers family bullshit on the moon!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

 

As Mentioned in Episode 165 – Pop Rocks

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Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Triple gatefold? That’s a lot of gatefold! (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Oh, man, the Starjammers are so cool, even when they’re evil alien duplicates. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
And that was the end of Wolverine, forever. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Not gonna lie: there are a LOT of splash pages and spreads in this visual companion. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
So many reasons, Banshee. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
I mean, technically Wolverine just won back her throne, but, whatever. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Look at all those fancy X-Men! (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Wolverine parties like a Robert E. Howard protagonist. (Uncanny X-Men #275)
I know this is supposed to be sinister, but it’s also kind of hilarious. (You gotta imagine the YOINK SFX in the second panel.) (Uncanny X-Men #275)
PROFESSOR XAVIER IS A JERK! (Uncanny X-Men #275)
Another two-page spread? DON’T MIND IF I DO! (Uncanny X-Men #276)
Pop rocks! (Uncanny X-Men #276)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (Uncanny X-Men #276)
I want to watch this movie. (Uncanny X-Men #276)
No, but seriously: Professor Xavier is a jerk. (Uncanny X-Men #276)
Well, that got weird. Weirder. (Uncanny X-Men #276)
Star Trek reference! Take a drink! Wait, no, that’s not a podcast game, that’s just Jay’s reading game. (Uncanny X-Men #276)
Yep, it’s another two-page spread. Don’t blame us–blame Jim Lee! (Uncanny X-Men #277)
…well, that explains some things. (Uncanny X-Men #277)
Oh, snap! (Uncanny X-Men #277)
Ooh, callback! Very clever, Gambit. Kinda creepy, but, y’know, clever. (Uncanny X-Men #277)
Even when he’s a skrull, it’s pretty satisfying to watch Charles Xavier get punched. (Uncanny X-Men #277)
VAMP! (Uncanny X-Men #277)
NEXT EPISODE: Stealth at all times.

LOOK AT THIS HELLA EPIC TEAM-UP

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Left to Right: Cory, Hub, and Jay in a really good Miles costume.

BLESS MY BOOTS, IT’S JAY & MILES X-PLAIN THE X-MEN AND TITAN UP THE DEFENSE!

We teamed up at Rose City Comic Con for THE DEVIL’S IN THE DETAILS, an epic examination of convoluted continuity, which you can hear RIGHT NOW over on Titan Up the Defense!

Click through to learn all about moose-antler arrows, Daredevil’s fake twin, what we’ve got on Wikipedia, and an extended metaphor in which you–yes, YOU–drop a bunch of acid with wrestling’s Macho Man Randy Savage!

The Mutant Revolution at RCCC 2017

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Listen to the live episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
We had our usual complement of word balloons, but we decided that the mutant revolution needed some additional signage.
More signs! Jay has way too much fun with this stuff.
Finally, back to the classics. We might make the top one into a t-shirt if folks are interested…
Setting up the Days of Future Past wall at the Steep & Thorny Way to Heaven!
Musical guest Kid Apocalypse was an awesome addition to the party lineup!
The mutant revolution! Many thanks to everyone who turned out!
In the same city for the first time in five months: THESE NERDS.
And up bright and early the next morning for RCCC! Thanks again to Ma’at Crook for letting us borrow half her table!
We did bad X-Men sketches again! Here’s Kitty Pryde, by Miles!
Rachel Summers, by Jay!
Jean Grey, by Miles.
Doop, by Jay.
One of a pair of Nightcrawlers, this one by Miles…
…and the companion sketcy by Jay!
Eye Boy was a collaboration and came out somewhat creepier than we were shooting for.
The RCCC cosplay scene was awesome! Evolution Rogue!
Cyclops stopped by for some revolutionary conspiracy!
Logan and Laura were pretty much the default father/daughter costume this year.
Not technically an X-character, but this Moon Girl was too awesome not to include in our roundup!
Jay also did sharpie knuckle tats. Above: UNCANNYX
We’ll let you guess whose hand this one is on.

As Mentioned in Episode 163 – Shut Up, Conscience

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Soviet Plot is my favorite porn mag. (Marvel Comics Presents #10)
In case you were wondering whether this was an Ann Nocenti story: yes. (Marvel Comics Presents #10)
This picnic is terrible. (Marvel Comics Presents #11)
“Just step out back to the kidnap van!” (Marvel Comics Presents #12)
These fuckers are the worst people in the story. (Marvel Comics Presents #13)
Okay, but seriously, I want a fort like this. (Marvel Comics Presents #11)
“We’ll talk about kyriarchy later, kiddo.” (Marvel Comics Presents #13)
“Okay, but… why did you resign?” (Marvel Comics Presents #14)
Oof. (Marvel Comics Presents #14)
In their defense, this is pretty terrifying. (Marvel Comics Presents #15)
If only they’d given him mongoose blood, he could’a gotten super speed! (Marvel Comics Presents #15)
THESE ASSHOLES, SERIOUSLY. (Marvel Comics Presents #15)
“How did your grandpa die, Zackery?” “Narrative necessity.” (Marvel Comics Presents #16)
And then nothing was ever okay again. The end! (Marvel Comics Presents #17)
Cyclops: Still the worst at vacations. (Marvel Comics Presents #17)
Fun fact: the last time Cyclops was actively hallucinating, he kicked Master Mold’s ass. FORESHADOWING? (Marvel Comics Presents #17)
Moira, this is not an acceptable way to science. Who do you think you are, Charles Xavier? (Marvel Comics Presents #18)
Okay, but did you consider that she might be like one of those cool lizards who can run on water? (Marvel Comics Presents #18)
Cyclops may be a jerk to adults, but he’s canonically pretty decent with little kids. (Marvel Comics Presents #18)
…well, fuck. (Marvel Comics Presents #18)
…well, FUCK. (Marvel Comics Presents #19)
Seriously, Dr. Mustache Guy, what the hell is wrong with you? (Marvel Comics Presents #19)
“I need helper robots. I KNOW, I’LL BUILD LITTLE NAKED ALIENS. THAT’LL BE COOL.” (Marvel Comics Presents #19)
More servitors, because if I have to see this nonsense, you do, too. (Marvel Comics Presents #20)
Shut up, Conscience. (Marvel Comics Presents #20)
“Look, they forgot I even EXISTED for three issues!” (Marvel Comics Presents #20)
“But, like, not the person. The concept. But not really in this story. Anyway, you get the idea, right? Right?” (Marvel Comics Presents #20)
This plan is terrible. (Marvel Comics Presents #21)
Aw. That’s… sort of nice? In an about-to-explode kind of way. (Marvel Comics Presents #24)
NEXT EPISODE: The Mutant Revolution, Live at Rose City Comic Con!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING

Jay and Miles at Rose City Comic Con 2017

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Another ROSE CITY COMIC CON? And Jay and Miles are not only post-hiatus, but actually in the same city! WHAAAAT?!

Here’s what we’ll be up to:

SATURDAY & SUNDAY ONLY:

We’ll be tabling at booth CC-07 in Artist Alley, with the incomparable Ma’at Crook. Note that we’ll be a bit more subtle this year, as we’re not actually in the convention program and won’t have our Days of Future Past wall – but you can look for the folks on the podcast’s cover image! And possibly also a big X-Men-related speech bubble!

We’ll have some awesome merch for sale, including t-shirts, zines, and buttons – including awesome new 1.5″ buttons! Plus the usual bad sketches and sharpie knuckle tats, natch.

FRIDAY AFTER HOURS:

meetup_header

OFFICIAL 2017 PARTY & MEETUP!

WHO: Us! You! Our friends! Your friends! Kid Apocalypse!

WHAT: The 2017 PDX Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men party and meetup! All-ages hangouts! Swag! Goofy photo props! Fancy drinks! Live music and assorted tomfoolery! Fighting to protect a world that hates and fears us!

WHERE: The Steep & Thorny Way to Heaven (SE 2nd Ave. between Hawthorne and Madison – See map below)

WHEN: Friday, September 8, 7:00-10:00 PM

OTHER PERTINENT DETAILS: Cosplay encouraged! Kids welcome! No con badge required!

Steep & Thorny is a private club! To get in, let the nice person at the door know that you are there for the X-Men party!

There will be a cash bar with alcoholic (adults only, with ID) and non-alcoholic (everyone) beverages! ADULTS: Please note that this is an all-ages event. If you get drunk and disorderly, we will kick your ass out.

Directions and further details at the Facebook event.

SATURDAY AT THE SHOW:

3:30 PM – THIS IS THE MUTANT REVOLUTION

  • Join us at the intersection of comics and politics for a live episode of Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men, as we discuss the mutant metaphor in modern America and why the X-Men matter more than ever!

SUNDAY AT THE SHOW:

2:30 PM – THE DEVIL’S IN THE DETAILS

  • How deep can deep reading go? Join us and the host of Titan up the Defense (the world’s greatest New Teen Titans / Defenders podcast) for a dive into obsession, continuity, and the weird treasures of Marvel’s Bronze Age!