beast – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 503 – Dream’s Anticlimax

October 19, 2025 Jay 3 comments

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No, seriously. (Uncanny X-Men #388)

Ouch. (Uncanny X-Men #388)

A nonspecific explosion. (Uncanny X-Men #388)

So large. (Cable #87)

no but seriously how (Cable #87)

Bye, Post. (Cable #87)

One of his teammates has to draw the tattoo on every morning with a sharpie. (Bishop: The Last X-Man #16)

Every time they watch a movie, Wolverine carefully explains to his teammates that it’s not real. (Bishop: The Last X-Man #16)

Mother of the year. (Bishop: The Last X-Man #16)

Now kiss! (X-Men #108)

This is not subtext, although it may be an anagram of subtext. (X-Men #108)

NEXT EPISODE: SKA!

503 – Dream’s Anticlimax

October 19, 2025 Jay 5 comments

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In which history repeats itself; Senator Kelly prevaricates (and then dies); Magneto keeps the cape on; Mystique does evil science; Post remains irrelevant (and then dies); Pyro saves the day (and then dies); Cable is a large man; Moira MacTaggert does the astral nasty (and then dies); and we really, really, really want to go to Froggy World.

X-PLAINED:

Moira MacTaggert’s mutation
A dubious plan
Evidence that we are in the wrong universe
Other crossovers named “Dream’s End”
A significant disclaimer
Uncanny X-Men #388
Cable #87
Bishop: The Last X-Men #16
X-Men #108
A surprise presidential platform
Sir Gordon Phillips and his guests
The new Brotherhood of Mutants
Cable’s hair
A lot of movie allusions
An ambiguous explosion
A deeply pointless retcon
An illusion
Cable’s psimitar
Pyro’s last stand
Dickalogue
Astral sex
The (apparent) death of Moira MacTaggert
A weird bonding moment in a cemetery
How to identify a time traveler
The (actual) death of Senator Robert Kelly
Mutant-free parts of the Marvel Universe
Froggy World

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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495 – The Goth

August 3, 2025 Jay 9 comments

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In which Rogue is beset with leadership; Psylocke’s telekinetic sword is narratively inconsistent; the Crimson Pirates are bad at their job; and you should not look to Frank Punisher as a role model.

X-PLAINED:

Whether Dani Moonstar is still a Valkyrie
X-Men #103-104
Uncanny X-Men #384-385
A crossover
Tessa (somewhat)
A test
The Goth (group)
Skulls
The Crimson Pirates
The mind of Tullamore Voge
Something “rough trade” does not mean
Visual representation of telepathy
Kymri (again)
The Goth (individual)
Skycycles
A ruse
How to get the X-Perts at a convention near you
What happened to the Massachusetts Academy

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men Forever

The visual companion to this episode will be up in the near future!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 494 – You’ve Got Evil Mail

July 29, 2025 Miles Leave a comment

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Is Thunderbird cosplaying Colossus? (X-Men Unlimited #27)

Meet Neal Shaara! Or sometimes Neal Sharra, depending on who’s writing! (X-Men Unlimited #27)

In which Karima Shapandar literally jump-kicks her way into the issue. (See also the 1977 kung fu film The Invincible Armour.) (X-Men Unlimited #27)

And you haven’t even met Maggott yet! (X-Men Unlimited #27)

embarrassed_werewolf sounds like part of an auto-generated Reddit username. (X-Men Unlimited #27)

“Crap, instead of zapping them with the Robot Servant Ray, we zapped them with the Main Character Ray!” (X-Men Unlimited #27)

Aww, Sanjit. (X-Men Unlimited #27)

Hope you survive the experience! (X-Men Unlimited #27)

Check out Gambit’s sideways-Legion hair! And Beast’s Banshee disguise! (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Darkstar speaks for us all. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

This ain’t Beast’s first brainwashing rodeo. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Listen, the Darkforce is just cool, okay? (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Dis not what Gambit had in mind. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

More like the Golden Death, really. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Darkstar’s face is the same as Miles’s when he first discovered Cloud/Sephiroth slash almost 30 years ago. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

“No, my only weaknesses – rain and tasers!” (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Technology safety tip: if you get a suspicious email, blow up your computer! (X-Men Annual 2000)

Adorable downtime! (X-Men Annual 2000)

I love these goofballs so much. (X-Men Annual 2000)

Rogue learned a lot of things during her time with Magneto, like: if you have a problem, throw it into space. (X-Men Annual 2000)

The focused totality of her cutting your goddamn head off. (X-Men Annual 2000)

Everyone just looks really cool here. That’s the only significance. (X-Men Annual 2000)

GUN ARRRRRRMMMSSSSS (X-Men Annual 2000)

That’s some Claremont dialogue, alright (complimentary). (X-Men Annual 2000)

I guess that’s why Stryfe’s not too concerned with peripheral vision. Explains the helmet. (X-Men Annual 2000)

NEXT TIME: The Goth!

494 – You’ve Got Evil Mail

July 20, 2025 Jay 9 comments

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In which the X-Men zealously protect their trademarks; Cable can have as many moms as he wants to; not everyone should have to be a superhero; Lady Deathstrike knows how to handle unauthorized emails; and somehow there are still more gun arms.

X-PLAINED:

Lady Deathstrike
X-Men Unlimited #27-28
X-Men Annual 2000
One reason to recycle code names
Thunderbird III (Neal Shaara)
Sanjit Shaara and his electronic diary
Karima Shapandar
Bastion and the Prime Sentinels (again) (briefly)
Omega Prime Sentinels
Rebirth Island and what lurks there
Darkstar (Laynia Petrovna)
Unusual disturbances
Whether Gambit sleeps
The Black Death
Internet security training with Bastion
The genealogy of Nora Ephron romantic comedy You’ve Got Mail
Fashion
Stryfe (again) (briefly)
Psylocke’s telekinetic katana
Interactions between Madelyne Pryor and her large adult son
Spiral’s Body Shop

NEXT EPISODE: The Brotherhood targets Senator Kelly… again.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 492 – Brain Sharks

July 13, 2025 Jay One comment

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Man, what a good opening image. (Uncanny X-Men #381)

Just, y’know, hanging out in Venice. (Uncanny X-Men #381)

BRAIN SHARKS! (Uncanny X-Men #381)

It does not, in fact, speak for itself. (Uncanny X-Men #382)

Well, then. (Uncanny X-Men #382)

Note: These are not the Goth. Those guy show up later. (Uncanny X-Men #382)

Go, Gambit! (Uncanny X-Men #382)

Damn, Storm. (Uncanny X-Men #383)

The Slash and its bouncer. (Uncanny X-Men #383)

These are not members of the same band. (Uncanny X-Men #383)

Sketch. (Uncanny X-Men #383)

Sketch at work. (Uncanny X-Men #383)

These guys. (Uncanny X-Men #383)

GUN ARMS! (Uncanny X-Men #383)

Is there Sketch fanfic out there? Probably not, but there should be. (Uncanny X-Men #383)

NEXT EPISODE: The first X-Men film turns 25!

492 – Brain Sharks

July 6, 2025 Jay 7 comments

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In which the Shockwave Riders are exceptionally silly; we are deeply impressed by brain sharks; and chrome plating and gun arms are among the lesser explored recurring Claremont motifs.

X-PLAINED:

The fate of Sara Grey
Revolution Claremont X-book disambiguation
Uncanny X-Men #381-383
The Neo (again)
An unmarked anniversary
A secret treasure trove
Vagaries of telekinesis and telepathy
The Shockwave Riders
Brain sharks that eat memories
The stuff of legend
The Lost Souls
Dirges and non-dirges
One way to start a conversation
Simyon Kurasov
Colonel Alexi Vazhin (again)
The Slash
How to dress to go clubbing
Blinkers, somewhat
Ransom Sole
Big Casino
Sketch
Revenant
Major Debra Levin
Bludgeon, Cudgel, and Manacle
Houndification
The best 21^st century X-characters

NEXT EPISODE: The first X-Men movie turns 25!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 483 – Piotr Lovely Locks

April 13, 2025 Miles 2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

I appreciate that Shadowcat’s new costume involves her perpetually flipping the (very sharp) bird. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)

I mean, it could be worse – you could be Colossus. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)

[Epic metal begins] (X-Men: Black Sun #1)

Is Nightcrawler trying to distract from his awful new color scheme by diving at the reader crotch-first? (X-Men: Black Sun #1)

A different look than usual, but I’m not mad at it. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)

SEEMS FINE. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)

Except that one time! And kind of that other time! (X-Men: Black Sun #1)

Chekhov’s removable skeleton. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)

I mean, we’re not not going to show the shattered-moon-and-mountain-of-skulls every time it comes up. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)

Magik x-plains the miniseries. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)

After this, Warren will be required to take a Defensive Swooping class. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)

Oof – right in the outfit! (X-Men: Black Sun #2)

(bonk) (X-Men: Black Sun #2)

A warm welcome back to Polaris’s chest-skull! (X-Men: Black Sun #3)

“Listen, it’s not my fault I’ve been a terrible boyfriend to every woman I’ve dated! And it definitely doesn’t imply anything!” (X-Men: Black Sun #3)

“Hey! That’s my favorite nipple you almost cut off!” (X-Men: Black Sun #4)

Dude needs to hydrate. (X-Men: Black Sun #4)

We’d normally say not to mess with perfection, but that’s not a bad evolution of the Phoenix costume! (X-Men: Black Sun #4)

Now that’s a demon. Well, Ru’tai. (X-Men: Black Sun #4)

The origin of Magik’s bare midriff! (X-Men: Black Sun #4)

You’re missing a bloodstone and a Banshee! (X-Men: Black Sun #5)

Paging Doctor Belmont… (X-Men: Black Sun #5)

Way better than throwing a Poké Ball. (X-Men: Black Sun #5)

Hey, now there are SIX bloodstones! At least Belasco’s throne is rad. (X-Men: Black Sun #5)

From the Arcane Tome of Evil Fashion. (X-Men: Black Sun #5)

BOOM! (X-Men: Black Sun #5)

What if Magik was She-Ra? (X-Men: Black Sun #5)

NEXT TIME: Magik gets metal.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING

On Yom Kippur, you fight your own skeleton.

483 – Piotr Lovely Locks

April 13, 2025 Miles 9 comments

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In which a lot has happened in the Six Month Gap (and we even get to learn about some of it); we’d missed Claremontian narration; Miles has questions about Colossus’s ponytail; the Soulsword is basically a Poké Ball; the Shadow Pope is cooler than the regular Pope; and Magik has a secret.

X-PLAINED:

Some big news
X-Men: Black Sun #1-5
Phoenix and Psylocke’s sorta-power-swap
Implied continuity
The N’Garai
Belasco
Limbo
Magik (Illyana Rasputin)
New costumes
Priests vs blood magic
An impressively overcomplicated evil plot
Chekhov’s skeleton
Body swaps and/or possession
Thunderbird (Neal Sharra)
Pilgrimm and the Ru’tai (again, surprisingly)
Astral meetups
Confusing bloodstone math
A Triple-Tech
Magik (Amanda Sefton)
Counting X-generations
Our favorite X-decades

NEXT EPISODE: More Magik!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 478 – The Monologue Tube

February 23, 2025 Miles 3 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Alan Davis protests the death of Cyclops. (From this link)

X-teams, past to present. (At least the ones who still had comics in 2000.) (Uncanny X-Men #379)

Well, at least this time he’s leaving with someone other than those five motorcycle guys who could turn into a sixth motorcycle guy. (Uncanny X-Men #379)