Bishop – Page 7 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

285 – Immediately if Not Sooner

February 16, 2020 Jay 11 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Goldballs is still a better name than Egg; we continue our progress towards Earth-295; Legion pulls a Stryfe; we’re still pretty shaky on how to pronounce “M’Kraan”; Xavier and Magneto were absolutely and unquestionably doing sex in the 1970s; it’s time time; the Watcher is watching you masturbate; and what happens immediately before the end of the world is often as important as what happens immediately after.

X-PLAINED:

Balls
Legion (more) (again)
Uncanny X-Men 320-321
X-Men #40
Establishing stakes
Slang of the mid-1990s
Time travel as a dick move
Issues vs. episodes
The M’Kraan Crystal (more) (again)
Hebrew vowels
Latent time travel abilities
Charles Xavier’s “first” bar fight
An exceptional caption
A very bad narrative choice
The death of Charles Francis Xavier
A load-bearing moment in time
Jahf the Guardian
Waiting for the end of the world
The best-drawn kiss in X-Men, ever
The many Krakoas
Integrating Legion into Dawn of X

NEXT EPISODE: More Legion Quest!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 280 – Business-Casual Basilisk

January 12, 2020 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Agent Coulson of Earth-1218 is mostly in it for the belly rubs.

What you see is what you get; and what you get is a large man with large guns and large feelings. (Bishop #1)

The gravitas of the X.S.E. is somewhat undercut by the fact that Bishop’s gun very clearly uses Nerf ammo. (Bishop #1)

You see what I mean about the shirt, right? (Bishop #1)

Do you think the other future criminals made fun of Mountjoy for not wearing a bunch of neon or having a mullet? (Bishop #1)

Bishop X-plains Mountjoy. (Bishop #1)

This effect is so creepy! (Bishop #1)

It’s okay, buddy. We’ve all been there. Sort of. Not really. (Bishop #2)

The utter disconnect between the expressions in this one is such a good detail. (Bishop #2)

TFW your holographic sister will not sit like a normal person on your futuristic bladed motorcycle. (Bishop #2)

Additional evidence against Hancock being Cyclops: he probably wouldn’t imply that his optic blasts generate heat. (Bishop #3)

Mountjoy is everyone! (Bishop #4)

NEXT EPISODE: Callasantos family reunion!

280 – Business-Casual Basilisk

January 12, 2020 Jay 10 comments

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In which the future is not great at codenames; spot foil is cool as hell; Mountjoy is bafflingly business-themed; Bishop goes full Point Break; Jean Grey and Lorna Dane should absolutely be friends; and Jay & Miles are heading to ECCC 2020!

X-PLAINED:

Lola vs. L.O.L.A.
A very good cat
Bishop #1-4
Lucas Bishop
Earth-1191
X.S.E.
A surprising convergence
Guilt
Bantam
Mountjoy
Some terrible banter
Several nontraditional modes of possession
Shard Bishop
How the kids talk these days
Hancock
Fashion of the future
A complex ethical struggle

NEXT EPISODE: More Cats references.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 278 – A Sheep in Wolf’s Clothing

December 22, 2019 Jay One comment

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Fun times with the MLF. (X-Force Annual #3)

They were really pushing the idea that he was Roberto. (X-Force Annual #3)

I get that it’s supposed to be a bad thing; but, man, Dani’s horse got AWESOME. (X-Force Annual #3)

“Of course, they won’t need to figure out my password if they walk in on me journaling in IMAX.” (X-Force Annual #3)

The Collective Man! (X-Force Annual #3)

These two are just really not good at false identities, are they? (X-Force Annual #3)

Sometimes a family is a ghost and her imaginary baby. (X-Force Annual #3)

Alas, contrary to the implications of this cover, Storm will not be seduced by a giant statue of a lady in this story. (X-Man Annual #3)

“Chess is sexy, right?” (X-Man Annual #3)

Gene Ha draws a really terrific Storm. (X-Man Annual #3)

Do they usually? (X-Man Annual #3)

“Squares.” (X-Man Annual #3)

She’s not wrong. (X-Man Annual #3)

(It’s okay; it’s only a dream.) (X-Man Annual #3)

These are the most lackluster Lords Cardinal I’ve ever seen. (X-Man Annual #3)

“Even sixth base?” (X-Man Annual #3)

I unrepentantly love this silliness. (X-Man Annual #3)

Ugh, seriously, so good. (X-Man Annual #3)

NEXT EPISODE: NEXT EPISODE: Giant-Size Winter Special, feat. Christina Strain & Chip Zdarsky…

…hope you survive the experience!

LINKS & FURTHER ATROCITIES:

Listen to Miles talk about people who turn into dinosaurs on Battle of the Atom!
Here is a fairly remarkable Marxist examination of Sex House; because, why not?
Should you be so inclined, you can watch the entire series here. It’s worth noting that the first few episodes do not reflect the tone of the series as it progresses. (Content Warning: I don’t even know anymore.)
We delved into Reignfire’s weird, weird origins in the cold open to Episode 238 – Meet Them Where They Are.
Jay co-wrote a serial Thor novel! You can subscribe to it here, if you are so inclined.

278 – A Sheep in Wolf’s Clothing

December 22, 2019 Jay 13 comments

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In which Moonstar really wasn’t fooling anybody; Bird Brain is somehow still alive; Cassidy Keep is weird; Gene Ha draws excellent Storm; Reeva Payge makes her sole comics appearance; and Shinobi Shaw is wrong about everything.

X-PLAINED:

A not-particularly-cunning disguise
Upcoming coverage
X-Force Annual #3
X-Men Annual #3
The MLF
Reignfire (more) (again)
Moonstar (more) (again)
An unconventional way to keep a secret diary
A bittersweet semi-reunion
3Peace
Murphy Keep
A ghost, maybe
The kind of thing that happens at Cassidy Keep
An excellent burn
Leather
“Neurotoxins”
Sex House as the definitive artifact of the 2010s
How not to draw someone having a nightmare
A very short-lived version of the Hellfire Club
How not to villain
Coming to terms with bad fictional tech

NEXT EPISODE: Giant-Size Winter Special, feat. Christina Strain & Chip Zdarsky!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 267 – The Saddest Joyride

October 7, 2019 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

One of those images that has really, really stuck with us over the years. (Uncanny X-Men #314)

It took a lot of self restraint not to post every single drawing of Emma in Bobby’s body from this issue. (Uncanny X-Men #314)

Those Sienkiewicz inks! (Uncanny X-Men #314)

DAMN, Emma. (Uncanny X-Men #314)

You can almost see Generation X forming between the panels. (Uncanny X-Men #314)

Programming a hologram of his dead sister to harangue him in the Danger Room may be the most Bishop move yet. (Uncanny X-Men #314)

He sewed that cape out of SO MANY cheap vinyl Catwoman costumes. (X-Men Annual #18)

Never take teenagers hostage; they’ll just judge you ’til you let them go out of sheer insecurity. (X-Men Annual #18)

[Insert Jude the Obscure joke here.] (X-Men Annual #18)

Don’t fuck with Jean Grey. (X-Men Annual #18)

WHY IS THERE A GIANT SQUID HERE (X-Men Annual #18)

Aw, Bishop. (X-Men Annual #18)

For more of this beautiful friendship, we’d recommend giving canon a miss and going straight to fellow X-Podling Adam Reck’s delightful Bish & Jubes–and, while you’re at it, supporting the collected edition on Kickstarter!

On Fridays, we wear fuchsia. (Uncanny X-Men #315)

That is one sweet coma beard. (Uncanny X-Men #315)

Yes, this is a good speech; but also, I just realized that given that the whole trial happens in space, it definitely falls under maritime law, AND I FORGOT TO MAKE ANY JOKES ABOUT IT IN THE EPISODE. (Uncanny X-Men #315)

NEXT EPISODE: We’re so close to nearly reaching what’s almost the Phalanx Covenant!

LINKS & FURTHER ACTION POINTS

Here’s where to send your strongly worded letter about why Marvel should give us Earth-441:
- Marvel Entertainment, LLC
  135 W. 50th Street
  New York, NY 10020
- You can also tweet at them with the hashtag #EarthXPlain!
- Or e-mail the X-office directly at [email protected]!
For more in-depth discussion of Emma Frost, check out Episode 219 – Brutal Hearts: An Appreciation of Emma Frost (feat. Seanan McGuire, Leah Williams, Tea Fougner, Kel McDonald, and Diana Fox)!
Yes, SoftPaws are a real thing.

267 – The Saddest Joyride

October 7, 2019 Jay 5 comments

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In which Emma Frost is a better Iceman than Bobby Drake; Generation X is aggressively foreshadowed; Malcolm and Randall are the Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to Bishop’s Hamlet; and we launch a campaign for our own Multiversal designation.

X-PLAINED:

The first time the X-Men met Emma Frost
Uncanny X-Men 314-315
X-Men Annual #18
A game show nobody should ever under any circumstances actually make
Emma Frost’s recruitment tactics
Previously unexplored ice powers
The direct prelude to Generation X
Caliban (more) (again)
SoftPaws(TM)
The giant squids of New York
The neophyte
A trial, kind of
X-Men power fantasies
Earth-X-Plain

NEXT EPISODE: We’re so close to nearly reaching what’s almost the Phalanx Covenant!

Game show music by MusicManiac301; used with permission.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 262 – Science Fiction Double Feature

September 1, 2019 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

He’s a fun guy. (X-Men #311)

Aw. (X-Men #311)

Uncool, Sabretooth. Uncool. (X-Men #311)

Bishop is rad as hell. (X-Men #311)

See, this is why you should’ve taken her to the movies. (X-Men #311)

Emma’s got a new look. (X-Men #312)

Cool, but not the coolest. (X-Men #313)

No freakin’ kidding. (X-Men #313)

Ah, THAT’S the coolest. (X-Men #313)

Storm is so cool. (X-Men #313)

This club is the worst. (X-Men #311)

$The Phalanx, in a small fraction of its glory. (X-Men #312)$

The Phalanx, in a small fraction of its glory. (X-Men #312)

They’re very good friends. (X-Men #312)

Gambit is legitimately fairly charming, at least as drawn by Joe Madureira. (X-Men #312)

One of several shovel talks. (X-Men #312)

Oh, snap. (X-Men #312)

Familiar faces, and somewhat less familiar bodies. (X-Men #312)

And then, another shovel talk. (X-Men #312)

NEXT EPISODE: Remember this dude?

The Designing X-Women art isn’t online yet, but when it is, we’ll drop a link here!

262 – Science Fiction Double Feature

September 1, 2019 Jay 14 comments

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In which the Phalanx would make pretty fun novelty candy; “B-Plot” implies that we only have 26; nobody will take Jubilee to the movies; Repo Man and Repo: The Genetic Opera are in fact two entirely different films; Storm is a fashion icon; Sabretooth is the monster in the basement; it’s really rough to be the kid on the X-Men; Yuko gives Gambit a shovel talk; and a number of familiar faces return to the page.

X-PLAINED:

One of the many problems with Sentinels
Uncanny X-Men #311-313
Whether the Phalanx is squishy
Robo-Candy
Plotline disambiguation
A cult classic
Carl the X-Cutioner (again)
Creative use of Bishop’s powers
Storm fashion
Technical difficulties
A decision Iceman will come to regret
Bishop vs. Sabretooth
What If Vol. 2 #87
Variations on Iceman’s appearance
Early seeds of Generation X
A night out with Yukio
A heavily euphemized relationship
Xavier’s mutant underground
The Phalanx
A shovel talk
The return of Steven Lang (and some other people)
How Cyclops cries
Cassandra Nova’s signature look

NEXT EPISODE: Additional and Varyingly Literal Blasts from the Past

NOTE: Per our expert source Doctor Internet, what Miles knows as “water weenies” are mostly sold as “water wigglers” or “water snakes.”

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 253 – Autumn in the Uncanny Valley

June 23, 2019 Jay 2 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Aw, these kids. (Uncanny X-Men #208)

THEY’RE SO BAD AT BEING PEOPLE AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. (Uncanny X-Men #208)

I also love them. (Uncanny X-Men #208)

Really, this is one of those issues that just makes me want the X-Men to always be happy and never have to do any superhero stuff. (Uncanny X-Men #208)

Fucking hawks, always poaching passes on the gridiron. (Uncanny X-Men #208)

Jean “Grab fate by the throat and hold on until it stops moving” Grey. (Uncanny X-Men #208)

What do YOU think Jean is saying here? Fill in her word balloon for a chance to, I dunno, I guess we could publish a gallery of them? (Uncanny X-Men #208)