Brood – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 289 – Unsolved Mysteries

March 22, 2020 Jay 7 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

A ToS Trek novel, specifically, I think. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)

This statue sucks. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)

Sinister is a terrible parent. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)

Okay, but why are the guys they’re fighting wearing bondage harnesses? (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)

We were so baffled by the abs that we did not consider that they had been dressing him in skintight jeans and pirate boots for five years. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)

Robbie flippin’ Robertson: a badass in any universe. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)

“Is it me, or do these briefings get weirder every time?” (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)

It would be more depressing when Sinister told him he was the worse brother, though. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)

These assholes work for a genocidal nightmare regime and yet call a graveyard “the ghost lands.” (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)

A familiar story, except where it’s not. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)

OH, SHIT. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)

If you didn’t know Corsair was doomed before, Havok’s last line definitely clinches it. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)

There’s probably a Gatecrasher joke to be found somewhere, but honestly, after this week, I’m fresh out. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)

Still not the most awkward conversation they’ve had in a comic, for what it’s worth. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines)

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: By the Light)

Yeah, Death, you’re not gonna impress Cyclops with that. He was raised by Sinister; he’s effectively immune to Extra. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: By the Light)

Sweatertown: Population, Blink. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: By the Light)

Aw, Ship. =( (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: By the Light)

He really is. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: By the Light)

I bet when people tell AoA Nightcrawler “Your Mom” jokes, he just kinda sighs and acknowledges that they’re probably right. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: By the Light)

BLACKAGAR BOLTAGON YOU STOP THAT RIGHT NOW (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: By the Light)

Look, I’m just saying: it’s no telling Dracula to follow his heart. (Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: By the Light)

NEXT EPISODE: Astonishing X-Men

LINKS & FURTHER CATASTROPHES:

If you haven’t yet, check out our rad new cover art, along with a time-lapse video from artist Peter Nguyen!

289 – Unsolved Mysteries

March 22, 2020 Jay 13 comments

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In which this episode is way more topical than it was when we recorded it; Apocalypse makes a terrible Statue of Liberty; there are no reliable narrators; Robbie Robertson and Carmen Sandiego are your new OTP; Emplate is creepy in any universe; lawful evil is still evil; and partial universe reboots come with some fairly silly problems.

X-PLAINED:

Awkward intersections of fiction and reality
Pandemic (Dr. Richard Palance)
Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: Sinister Bloodlines
Tales from the Age of Apocalypse: By the Light
Brooding in multiple ways at once.
Corsair (Christopher Summers) (Earth-295)
Reconciling cross-universe timelines
The Shi’ar (Earth-295)
Comparative Summers Backstory
Robbie Robertson (Earth-295)
Northstar and Aurora (Earth-295)
Emplate and the Monets (Earth-295)
The Bedlam Brothers (Earth-295)
Brood problems
The most awkward Summers family reunion to date
The Absorbing Man (Earth-295)
Diablo (Earth-295)
Senator Robert Kelly (Earth-295)
The fall of the Guthrie family
An early era of Magneto’s X-Men
A trip to the moon
Death (Maximus Boltagon)
Whether the Beyonder of Earth-295 knows how to poop
Listening to this podcast with kids

NEXT EPISODE: Astonishing X-Men!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 194 – Brood Trouble in the Big Easy

April 22, 2018 Jay 4 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Cyclops may not have a lot of people skills, but he’s pretty good at boundaries. (X-Men #8)

Last panel of Forge being awful, I promise (for now). (X-Men #8)

Aw, they all posed. (X-Men #8)

Never meet your heroes. (X-Men #8)

Once you see the Pikachu in Psylocke’s swimsuit, you’ll never unsee it. (X-Men #8)

“We have fun, don’t we?” (X-Men #8)

And that’s why you always leave a note! (X-Men #8)

Meet Mrs. Gambit. (X-Men #8)

Trolling law enforcement is one of the subtler perks of being Ghost Rider. (X-Men #8)

“…Lord Byron!” (Ghost Rider #26)

Oh. Him, too, I guess. (Ghost Rider #26)

I mean, yeah, he’s a dick; but this is pretty excessive. (Ghost Rider #26)

The two most dramatic men in New Orleans. (Ghost Rider #26)

TBH, those outfits are pretty understated by Assassins Guild standards. (Ghost Rider #26)

AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (Ghost Rider #26)

I give him some flack, but nobody draws grossed out teenagers like Jim Lee. (X-Men #9)

The inside of Ghost Rider’s mind; and, coincidentally, the cover of his first hit single. (X-Men #9)

(It’s okay. She’ll be back later.) (X-Men #9)

Meanwhile in the upside down… (X-Men #9)

Um, yes. She does. You already know that, Wolverine. (X-Men #9)

X-Men crossovers are pretty hard on guest stars. (X-Men #9)

I’m just gonna leave this here, sans comment. (X-Men #9)

NEXT EPISODE: Mike Mignola’s X-Force!

194 – Brood Trouble in the Big Easy

April 22, 2018 Jay 36 comments

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In which Ghost Rider has some fairly serious medical issues; you should probably never invite Bishop to a picnic; Gambit’s past catches up with him; it’s always Mardi Gras in Fictional New Orleans; Wolverine is thrilled; and Jay swears a solemn vow.

X-PLAINED:

The Tithe
The Momentary Princess
The T’ieves Guild
Why real New Orleans doesn’t have catacombs
X-Men #8-9
Ghost Rider #26-27
The abstract idea of Nicholas Cage
Genesis
The last of the X-Men
A sick burn
A picnic
Boundaries
Bella Donna Boudreaux and her many apostrophes
Ghost Rider
Psegway
Julian Boudreaux
How not to respond to a speeding ticket
The Bootie Man
Horse names vs. katana names
Cathartic excess
X-holidays
Doomsday
Good characters from awful events

NEXT EPISODE: The Externals, for our sins

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 95 – Earthfall

February 8, 2016 Jay 4 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

TFW you forget a plotline for over a year and have to recap not only the original hook, but the entire context. (Uncanny X-Men #232)

If I had a dollar for every time this had happened when I was out camping… (Uncanny X-Men #232)

AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (Uncanny X-Men #232)

That is definitely not how you perform CPR. (Uncanny X-Men #232)

A lot of our nightmares start like this. (Uncanny X-Men #232)

“Okay. This looks bad.” (Uncanny X-Men #233)

Nope. (Uncanny X-Men #233)

That’s… actually, that’s incredibly reasonable. (Uncanny X-Men #233)

How much do we love this cover? SO MUCH. (Uncanny X-Men #234)

That couple in the background are by far our favorite characters in this arc. (Uncanny X-Men #234)

And again. (Uncanny X-Men #234)

“So, meth, then?” (Uncanny X-Men #234)

Ouch. (Uncanny X-Men #232)

You know that thing where you have a really awful dream about someone you know, and you wake up really mad at them, and then you team up with demons and try to sacrifice a bunch of babies and turn New York into Hell? Yeah, me, too. (Uncanny X-Men #233)

In Madelyne’s defense, this really is a super fucked up dream. (Uncanny X-Men #233)

“She’s her old self again, but about six inches shorter.” (Uncanny X-Men #233)

There is literally nothing okay about what is going on here. (Uncanny X-Men #234)

Has anyone ever tried to reproduce this awesome manicure IRL? You should do that. (Uncanny X-Men #234)

The first official apparance of one of the worst villain costumes in X-Men. At least it’s memorable? (Uncanny X-Men #234)

Next Week: This asshole.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

For an introduction to the Brood (and one of the best Brood stories ever), listen to Episode 20 – The Brood They Carried.
For more on Hannah Conover, check out Left Unresolved – Do the X-Men Still Have a Frozen Lady in Their Freezer?, by Brian Cronin, over at CBR.
Here’s a pretty solid overview of the unfathomable clusterfuck of the direct market, from Heidi MacDonald at the Beat; including links to a number of other analyses from retailer and publisher perspectives.

95 – Earthfall

February 8, 2016 Jay 32 comments

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In which the X-Men finally follow up on a dropped plotline; you should probably not mess with abandoned star sharks; “Dawn of Blood” is a sometimes food; The Goblin Queen makes her first appearance; we debut a new podcast feature; and there may or may not be a frozen woman in the Xavier School basement.

X-PLAINED:

The Providian Order
Uncanny X-Men #232-234
The Brood (again)
Several ill-fated campers
Harry Palmer
The Brood as horror antagonists
Why John Doggett is the best X-Files agent
Psylocke’s armor
Why Nestor Carbonell should play Gambit
Some deeply dubious codenames
Red Bee
Michael the Bee
Reverend William Conover and his Glory Day Crusade
The Mile High Diner
The strange case of Hannah Conover
One hell of a nightmare
A deal with a devil
InfernoWatch
The direct market
Ways to approach an endless serial

INFERNO WATCH:

Madelyne meets and strikes a deal with S’ym
First appearance of the Goblin Queen costume

NEXT EPISODE: Evolutionary War

CORRECTION: In this episode, Jay recalled the direct market as having been conceived in significant part by Carol Kalish. It was, in fact, the brainchild of Phil Seuling.

You can find a visual companion to this episode–and links to recommended reading–on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

93 – The Discreet Charm of the Brood

January 24, 2016 Miles 20 comments

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In which airplanes are really dangerous if you’re a mutant, Magik remembers that time she dreamed about remembering a dream, those who live by mystically bad judgment die by mystically bad judgment, It’s Always Mystique (TM), and everything leads to Inferno.

X-PLAINED:

Forge’s moral compass
New Mutants #62-63 and #65-66
Empath and irredeemable vs. sympathetic villains
Magical postal eagles
Nova Roma
Jag-u-ars
Art as era signifier
Time travel nightmare logic
Sharpiemancy
The “last” Brood
Jerk headmasters who won’t even let you commit murder
A long-awaited roomie reunion
Bret Blevins’s mad Limbo skillz
Claremont / Simonson character maturity equilibrium
Astrally furry pants
Loyalty to the living versus loyalty to the dead
The Ultimate Darkchilde
Wolverine’s surprisingly non-metallic teeth
Partying with the New Mutants

NEXT WEEK: Pryde of the X-Men.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 26 – The Other Team America (featuring Chris Sims)

October 14, 2014 Jay 5 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne!

Bobby is so very Bobby. (New Mutants #1)

Yeah, so, Dani, maybe get a handle on that. (New Mutants #1)

Remember, at this point, as far as everyone on Earth knew, the X-Men were dead. (New Mutants #1)

Oh, Storm. (New Mutants #1)

Meanwhile on Muir Island, REVELATIONS! (New Mutants #1)

“You’re not the X-Men. You’re just, um, wearing their original superhero costumes. Because, stuff.” (New Mutants #1)

OH, SHIT. THOSE GUYS. (New Mutants #1)

Well, that’ll end well. (New Mutants #2)

Gyrich realizes that part of the price of appearing in an X-Men book is occasionally having your conversation partner drop out for an extended inner monologue. (New Mutants #2)

“Son, I know Peter Corbeau, and you’re no Peter Corbeau.” (New Mutants #2)

Mostly including this to point out that FANDOM ZONE is a great name for a comics shop. (New Mutants #2)

FORESHADOWING. (New Mutants #3)

OH, NO! (New Mutants #3)

Aw, Illyana. (New Mutants #3)

Remember that time Bob McLeod drew a full page of a teenager and casual nudity and there was no sexualization whatsoever? Because that was RAD. (New Mutants #3)

Oooh, clever! (New Mutants #3)

Reinforcing the case for X-Men watching Star Trek. (New Mutants #3)

Aw, bros. And Magnum, P.I. For more on what happens next, see Episode 20. (New Mutants #3)

The more things change… (New Mutants #4)

That one time Professor Xavier wasn’t a jerk. (New Mutants #4)

And then the New Mutants just straight-up broke into a school dance. (New Mutants #4)

AW, SAM. (New Mutants #4)

WHY WOULD YOU PUT ALL THAT TNT THERE? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? (New Mutants #4)

… (New Mutants #4)

ETHICS. (New Mutants #4)

For more on these baffling gentlemen, see the links below.

Well, hello, Viper and Silver Samurai. (New Mutants #5)

Oh! Of course! Team America! Because, um, right, those guys. (New Mutants #5)

‘Kay. (New Mutants #5)

Xavier X-Plains the A-plot. (New Mutants #5)

Wait, what? (New Mutants #5)

Aw, Shan. (New Mutants #6)

Aw, Shan. (New Mutants #6)

Not that Black Mesa. (New Mutants #6)

Well, I think we can all be pretty excited that Team America have finally learned to control their dangerous power of making an extra good motorcycle dude. Dodged a bullet there. (New Mutants #6)

Next Week: NYCC Special, with Russell Dauterman and Kris Anka!

Links:

26 – The Other Team America (featuring Chris Sims)

October 12, 2014 Jay 17 comments

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In which Danielle Moonstar is the Wolverine of the New Mutants, Henry Peter Gyrich is the Walter Peck of the Marvel Universe, Michael Rossi is no Peter Corbeau, Xavier is a Brood Queen (who is a jerk), Bob McLeod draws really good teenagers, the New Mutants do an after-school special, Chris Sims drops in for some emergency X-Plaining, Elsie Carson is the Harvey and Janet of Hydra, and Team America is generally sort of baffling.

X-Plained

Viper
Brood stuff
The original New Mutans (more) (again)
The New Mutants #1-6
Denial
Dani vs. the Danger Room
Mall stories
Neighborhood kids
Henry Peter Gyrich
Sebastian Shaw (again)
Project Wideawake (sort of)
Michael Rossi
A poorly-timed crossover
Gabrielle Haller
A profoundly unethical relationship
A Very Special Episode
Overkill
Magnum, P.I.
Team America (but not that one)
Elsie Carson, middle manager of Hydra
The Girl With the Silver Eyes
X-Men reading order

The visual companion for this episode will go up mid-week, due to New York Comic-Con generally kicking our asses (Among MANY other things, Rachel is tweeting–mostly cool X-cosplay pics–from the show floor, and Miles is working at the Dark Horse booth. Come say hi!). Meanwhile, for further supplemental material, we recommend reading Chris’s in-depth history of Team America:

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Support us on Patreon!

As Mentioned in Episode 20 – The Brood They Carried

August 24, 2014 Jay 9 comments

Listen to the podcast here!

WELL, THEN. (X-Men #161)

SPACE FASHION! (X-Men #161)

Stun bombs are to comics as knockout spray is to cartoons. (X-Men #161)

We really only included this to point out the smoke coming from Wolverine’s underwear. (X-Men #162)

And that’s how you do a cold open. (X-Men #162)

Remember this space whale. It’ll be important later. (X-Men #162)

So, that’s a little creepy, and… (X-Men #162)

…AUGH WAIT WHAT THE HELL?! (X-Men #162)

Fang just cannot catch a break. (X-Men #162)

This is one of very, very few times when Wolverine’s healing factor has been written as at all under his control. (X-Men #162)

How cool would it have been if he’d kept this look? Hint: So cool. (X-Men #162)

Fair warning: This visual companion is basically an excuse to post a lot of really awesome Carol Danvers moments. (X-Men #163)

Cyclops successfully completes TWO whole hugs during the Brood Saga! Also: space fashion. (X-Men #163)

So, THAT’S CREEPY. (X-Men #163)

Remember that thing about how this visual companion is mostly an excuse to post pictures of Carol Danvers being awesome? That. (X-Men #164)

ROCKET SHARKS. (X-Men #164)

Including this just for the dozen people who have written us to ask if Storm’s powers work in space (also covered in the Phoenix Saga, incidentally). (X-Men #164)

In which Claremont and/or Cockrum seem to forget that Kitty’s powers fry electrical systems. (X-Men #164)

BINARY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. (X-Men #164)

Imagine how much of Inferno could have been avoided if the Professor had decided to press this point. (X-Men #164)

AUGH GOD BINARY IS SO AWESOME. (X-Men #164)

Not that Cockrum’s not great, but can we have a moment of silence for how amazingly Neal Adams would’ve drawn this specific panel? (X-Men #164)

If you like the Brood Saga, you should be reading the current Captain Marvel series (and vice versa). This is very much the Carol Danvers of both. (X-Men #164)

That moment when the Brood Saga could’ve become a really heavy-handed reproductive-rights allegory, and we’re all really grateful that it didn’t. (X-Men #164)

Well, fuck. (X-Men #164)

Binary: Too awesome for your stupid airlock. (X-Men #164)

That time Moira MacTaggert manipulated Charles Xavier into starting a second ongoing X-book. (X-Men #165)

Welcome to X-Men, Paul Smith! Hope you survive the experience! (X-Men #165)

Faced with certain and inevitable death, the X-Men decide to go kill some Brood. (X-Men #165)

Rad bromance. (X-Men #165)

CORRECT CHOICE, COLOSSUS. (X-Men #165)

Remember that time Storm became a space whale and quoted Phoenix? (X-Men #165)

Seriously, though: Binary. (X-Men #166)

WELL, THEN. (X-Men #166)

Mostly in here to point out that Kitty’s impending death has not cooled her affection for the Shi’ar fashion machines. (X-Men #166)

Storm X-plains the Acanti, part one. (X-Men #166)

Storm X-plains the Acanti, part two. (X-Men #166)

Our episode outline addresses this panel as follows:

KITTY YOU ARE THE BEST NERD
DOES CYCLOPS WATCH STAR TREK? DISCUSS. SHOW YOUR WORK.

(X-Men #166)

(X-Men: Evolution Cyclops definitely watches Star Trek, for the record.)

In addition to the shocking reveal, this moment leads to one of stupidest and most avoidable minor continuity errors of the issue. (X-Men #166)

Best Brood moment? Best Brood moment. (X-Men #166)

LOCKHEED! (X-Men #166)

And they all lived happily ever after. (X-Men #166)

OH, WAIT. (X-Men #166)

Just in case you haven’t caught on to the fact that this is an extended thematic and structural riff on the Dark Phoenix Saga. (X-Men #167)

Can we talk about the New Mutants’ adorable collective crush on Magnum, P.I.? (X-Men #167)

THAT SUBTITLE. (X-Men #167)

Kitty’s got a new outfit. Take a drink. (X-Men #167)

Okay. This looks bad. (X-Men #167)

Speaking of the Dark Phoenix Saga… (X-Men #167)

Cyclops has a good day (and completes an unprecedented SECOND successful hug in the same story!), but this plot thread is going to lead straight to Madelyne Pryor, so, that’s probably a net loss. (X-Men #167)