Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: illyana rasputin

31 – Chekhov’s Raygun

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Art by David Wynne
Art by David Wynne

In which there is a whole, whole lot going on; we continue to have no use for Michael Rossi; Wolverine should be an advice columnist; Forge makes bold fashion choices; the health of a timeline is directly tied to the awesomeness of Storm’s hair; and the X-Men get their first dark-future refugee.

X-Plained:

  • Dire Wraiths
  • ROM
  • Tailoring
  • Uncanny X-Men #182-188
  • Just how much story can be shoehorned into seven issues
  • A dubious Silent Hill metaphor
  • The people in Rogue’s head
  • Inexorable momentum
  • Several profoundly uncomfortable conversations
  • Parallel narrative in comics
  • Being friends with Wolverine
  • Casual enmity
  • Forge
  • Miles’s X-doppelganger
  • Tiny shorts
  • Chekhov’s Raygun
  • Rachel Summers (again)
  • Timeline disambiguation
  • Rachel disambiguation
  • “Lifedeath: A Love Story”
  • Feelings
  • Storm, powers, and identity
  • X-Men Mad-Libs
  • Hound marks
  • X-Men: The End

Next Week: THE DEMON BEAR SAGA!

You can find a visual companion to the episode – as well as links to recommended reading and the winners of the stealth / plainclothes cosplay contest – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

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As Mentioned in Episode 30 – New-Wave Superteens in Love

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Art by David Wynne
Rahne has a Kaylee moment. (New Mutants #7)
SO THAT HAPPENED. (New Mutants #7)
W.W.M.P.I.D.? (New Mutants #7)
Just in case you’ve forgotten, Team America is–inexplicably–still around. (New Mutants #8)
“Not only did I spill my soul to you thinking you didn’t speak English, but it turned out your outfit was also really fucking racist. THANKS, AMARA.” (New Mutants #8)
Well, then. (New Mutants #10)
You do you, Selene. (New Mutants #10)
Magma’s best superpower is her op-art form. (New Mutants #11)
Remember the time the New Mutants straight-up murdered someone? Because that happened. (New Mutants #11)
This better be a Magnum, P.I. reference. (New Mutants #12)
Meanwhile at Project Wideawake, things are not going quote as planned. (New Mutants #13)
Somewhere in the multiverse, there’s a universe that’s exactly like Earth 616 in every way except that Kitty and Doug’s code names are Acid Burn and Zero Cool. (New Mutants #13)
Return of Those Kids at the Mall. (New Mutants #14)
X-MEN! (New Mutants #14)
Have we mentioned that we love Emma Frost? We love Emma Frost. Also: Kitty’s got a new costume. Drink! (New Mutants #16)
“This is even more awkward than the time we walked in on Bobby telling a photo of Magnum, P.I. that he wished he was his real dad.” (New Mutants #16)
Sam Guthrie: Best Kid, or Best Kid? Best Kid. (New Mutants #16)
Amara Aquilla: Horta. (New Mutants #16)
Are the Hellions evil, or just kinda New-Wave? You be the judge! (New Mutants #17)
We cannot overemphasize the extent to which New Mutants is a school drama at this point. (New Mutants #17)
MAGNUM, P.I.! (New Mutants #17)
They may be evil, but they’re not wrong. (New Mutants #17)
We passed your stealth and plainclothes cosplay contest entries along to X-Pert Judge Kris Anka, and he sent us back two winners: Congratulaions to lilpeepeedanceofdoom as plainclothes Gold Balls (you can read more about his costume here), and Elle as stealth Excalibur-era Shadowcat! (We’ll be getting in touch with you shortly with prize details!) Thanks again to contest sponsor TV Store Online, and judge Kris Anka–and be sure to swing by the blog early next week to see a roundup of all the amazing finalists!
Next week: Chekhov’s Raygun, time travel, and tiny shorts!

Links and Further Reading:

30 – New-Wave Superteens in Love

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Art by David Wynne
Art by David Wynne

 

In which the New Mutants are the Bobbsey Twins to the X-Men’s Sam Spade; Nina da Costa is Ms. Frizzle; New Mutants does a Rachel-and-Miles cold open; Selene is the Elizabeth Bathory of lava; Rahne likes Sam, Sam likes Amara, Dani likes Bobby, and Bobby likes everyone; Gil and Art are no Harvey and Janet; Miles has a Del Preston moment, Magma is a Horta; and if something super happens, you should tell a super adult.

X-Plained:

  • Selene
  • Externals
  • New Mutants #7-17
  • The da Costa family
  • Axe
  • Some really dubious cosmetic choices
  • Nova Roma
  • Amara Aquilla (Magma)
  • Op-art as a superpower
  • Doug Ramsey’s hair
  • The Massachusetts Academy
  • New-Wave Superteens
  • Deflection
  • The Hellions
  • Not-Particularly-Secret Origins of the Hellfire Club
  • Publishing schedules

Next Week: Lifedeath, time travel, and Forge’s tiny shorts.

You can find a visual companion to the episode – as well as links to recommended reading and the winners of the stealth / plainclothes cosplay contest – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Rachel and Miles Review the X-Men, Episode 12

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Week of November 5, 2014

In which the stealth cosplay continues, and we are sidetracked by LEGOs.

Reviewed:

  • Axis #4 (2:26)
  • X-Men #21 (4:00)
  • X-Factor #16 (5:36)
  • Life After Logan #1 (7:58)
  • Death of Wolverine: Weapon X Program #1 (12:01)

Pick of the week:

  • LEGO Blackbird Playset (13:27)

Video reviews are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

For more on the Stealth / Plainclothes Cosplay Contest (deadline TODAY – Friday, November 7), go here!

As Mentioned in Episode 26 – The Other Team America (featuring Chris Sims)

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Art by David Wynne!
Bobby is so very Bobby. (New Mutants #1)
Yeah, so, Dani, maybe get a handle on that. (New Mutants #1)
Remember, at this point, as far as everyone on Earth knew, the X-Men were dead. (New Mutants #1)
Oh, Storm. (New Mutants #1)
Meanwhile on Muir Island, REVELATIONS! (New Mutants #1)
“You’re not the X-Men. You’re just, um, wearing their original superhero costumes. Because, stuff.” (New Mutants #1)
OH, SHIT. THOSE GUYS. (New Mutants #1)
Well, that’ll end well. (New Mutants #2)
Gyrich realizes that part of the price of appearing in an X-Men book is occasionally having your conversation partner drop out for an extended inner monologue. (New Mutants #2)
“Son, I know Peter Corbeau, and you’re no Peter Corbeau.” (New Mutants #2)
Mostly including this to point out that FANDOM ZONE is a great name for a comics shop. (New Mutants #2)
FORESHADOWING. (New Mutants #3)
OH, NO! (New Mutants #3)
Aw, Illyana. (New Mutants #3)
Remember that time Bob McLeod drew a full page of a teenager and casual nudity and there was no sexualization whatsoever? Because that was RAD. (New Mutants #3)
Oooh, clever! (New Mutants #3)
Reinforcing the case for X-Men watching Star Trek. (New Mutants #3)
Aw, bros. And Magnum, P.I. For more on what happens next, see Episode 20. (New Mutants #3)
The more things change… (New Mutants #4)
That one time Professor Xavier wasn’t a jerk. (New Mutants #4)
And then the New Mutants just straight-up broke into a school dance. (New Mutants #4)
AW, SAM. (New Mutants #4)
WHY WOULD YOU PUT ALL THAT TNT THERE? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? (New Mutants #4)
… (New Mutants #4)
ETHICS. (New Mutants #4)
For more on these baffling gentlemen, see the links below.
Well, hello, Viper and Silver Samurai. (New Mutants #5)
Oh! Of course! Team America! Because, um, right, those guys. (New Mutants #5)
‘Kay. (New Mutants #5)
Xavier X-Plains the A-plot. (New Mutants #5)
Wait, what? (New Mutants #5)
Aw, Shan. (New Mutants #6)
Aw, Shan. (New Mutants #6)
Not that Black Mesa. (New Mutants #6)
Well, I think we can all be pretty excited that Team America have finally learned to control their dangerous power of making an extra good motorcycle dude. Dodged a bullet there. (New Mutants #6)
Next Week: NYCC Special, with Russell Dauterman and Kris Anka!

Links:

26 – The Other Team America (featuring Chris Sims)

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Art by David Wynne.
Art by David Wynne.

In which Danielle Moonstar is the Wolverine of the New Mutants, Henry Peter Gyrich is the Walter Peck of the Marvel Universe, Michael Rossi is no Peter Corbeau, Xavier is a Brood Queen (who is a jerk), Bob McLeod draws really good teenagers, the New Mutants do an after-school special, Chris Sims drops in for some emergency X-Plaining, Elsie Carson is the Harvey and Janet of Hydra, and Team America is generally sort of baffling.

X-Plained

  • Viper
  • Brood stuff
  • The original New Mutans (more) (again)
  • The New Mutants #1-6
  • Denial
  • Dani vs. the Danger Room
  • Mall stories
  • Neighborhood kids
  • Henry Peter Gyrich
  • Sebastian Shaw (again)
  • Project Wideawake (sort of)
  • Michael Rossi
  • A poorly-timed crossover
  • Gabrielle Haller
  • A profoundly unethical relationship
  • A Very Special Episode
  • Overkill
  • Magnum, P.I.
  • Team America (but not that one)
  • Elsie Carson, middle manager of Hydra
  • The Girl With the Silver Eyes
  • X-Men reading order

The visual companion for this episode will go up mid-week, due to New York Comic-Con generally kicking our asses (Among MANY other things, Rachel is tweeting–mostly cool X-cosplay pics–from the show floor, and Miles is working at the Dark Horse booth. Come say hi!). Meanwhile, for further supplemental material, we recommend reading Chris’s in-depth history of Team America:

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As Mentioned in Episode 24 – Ororo, Queen of the Galaxy

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ORORO, QUEEN OF THE GALAXY, by David Wynne. (Prints available here until October 5.)
Lockheed vs. Pete Wisdom. (Excalibur #97)
Ironically, the thing she’s mad about might be the one time he actually isn’t, but the point stands in general. (X-Men #168)
Lockheed lurks. (X-Men #168)
This isn’t really relevant to the episode–we’re just hoping someone will use it as the basis for a Kitty Pryde magical-girl transformation sequence. (X-Men #168)
Scott and Lee: STILL AWESOME. (X-Men #168)
Before that one Hawkeye thing, there was this. (X-Men #168)
AWESOME TEAM-UP OF AWESOME. (X-Men #168)
But I think we all know the REAL point of X-Men #168. (We’re reviving this for this week’s art challenge – send your Kitty Pryde costume redesigns to xplainthexmen(at)gmail(dot)com!)
Very Nude Nightcrawler. (X-Men #169)
Dragon-sitting is basically the X-Men girlfriend test. (X-Men #169)
Remember that time X-Men straight-up did Barbarella? (Also the time Angel got pinned up by his wings in the Morlock tunnels. No, not that time. The other time.) (X-Men #169)
This cover is slashy in every sense of the word. (X-Men #170)
Well, then. (X-Men #170)
Remember that time Storm straight-up stabbed someone through the heart? BECAUSE THAT DEFINITELY HAPPENED. (X-Men #170)
And then Walt Simonson drew Storm, and we had Feelings. (X-Men #171)
Rogue also has feelings, but they’re less about the transcendent perfection of Simonson’s art than about her out-of-control powers. Sorry, Rogue. (X-Men #171)
Well, that escalated quickly. (X-Men #171)
This might be the most Rogue moment ever. (X-Men #171)
Remember that time Professor X was actually pretty fucking awesome? (X-Men #171)
For full effect, you have to imagine Wolverine’s lines in Steven Blum’s voice. I mean, you should really be doing that anyway. (X-Men #172)
YUKIO. Much, much more about her next week, but she’s the best. (X-Men #172)
For real, there is literally nothing you can say that will convince Rachel that these two are not TOTALLY DOING IT. (X-Men #173)
They really can’t kick her off the team after that. (X-Men #173)
BRB HAVING FEELINGS. (X-Men #173)
Oh. THAT asshole. (X-Men #173)
Meanwhile in Alaska, the most awkward meet-cute ever. (X-Men #168)
Here’s the thing about Scott and Madelyne: they’re actually kind of awesome together. Doomed, but awesome. (X-Men #170)
As a character who’s spent most of his life in a Claremont-written world, Scott is unfamiliar with the concept of coincidence. (X-Men #171)
Then, again, having spent years reading stories set in a Claremont-written world, we find it difficult to believe that this was actually just supposed to have been a coincidence. (X-Men #172)
Lilandra agrees. (X-Men #173)
HEPZIBAH, NEVER CHANGE. (X-Men #174)
This is funny because both of these relationships are super doomed. (X-Men #174)
A brief interlude of adorability from these goofy kids. (X-Men #174)
REMEMBER THAT PRIEST? Yeah. Totally Mastermind. God damnit, Mastermind. (X-Men #174)
Look, it’s a reasonable question under the circumstances. (X-Men #174)
Oh. (X-Men #174)
WELL, THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY. (X-Men #175)
Okay. This looks bad. (X-Men #175)
Really bad. (X-Men #175)
Really, really bad. (X-Men #175)
Cyclops-gritting-his-teeth-and-being-brilliant-in-the-face-of-impossible-odds is the best Cyclops. (X-Men #175)
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh. (X-Men #175)
Not elegant, but efficient. (X-Men #175)
This is a really good speech, as such things go, but it’s also really funny that he went to the graveyard in his tux. (X-Men #175)
And then they lived happily ever… oh. (X-Men #175)
Next week: Wolverine demonstrates the Inverse Ninja Law.

24 – Ororo, Queen of the Galaxy

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Stormerella print
Art by David Wynne.

In which Professor X is (canonically!) a jerk, Miles has Sidrian Hunter feelings, Kitty Pryde is Clarissa Darling with a dragon, we introduce a drinking game, the X-Men do Barbarella, Rachel has a ‘shipper moment, Rogue joins the team, Storm gets a haircut, Mastermind is still the worst, and Madelyne Pryor is underrated.

X-Plained:

  • Lockheed
  • Uncanny X-Men #168-175
  • Reset issues
  • A one-sided rivalry
  • The lowest-drama X-romance
  • The Cream of Wheat box as a metaphor for infinity
  • Kitty’s Kostume Korner
  • Rachel’s questionably-canon ships
  • The Morlocks
  • Class privilege and the mutant metaphor
  • Callisto
  • Caliban
  • Sunder
  • Plague
  • Masque
  • A dubbing error
  • Gender dimorphism in superhero media
  • Storm’s first major character arc
  • Our single favorite superhero artist
  • Rogue
  • Rogue’s accent
  • A Charles Xavier we can believe in
  • Yukio
  • Punk Storm
  • Madelyne Pryor
  • Closure
  • Cyclops vs. formalwear

Art Challenge: Send us your Kitty Pryde costume redesigns–any era, any codename–to xplainthexmen(at)gmail(dot)com

Next Week: Claremont and Miller’s Wolverine!

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

As Mentioned in Episode 20 – The Brood They Carried

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WELL, THEN. (X-Men #161)
SPACE FASHION! (X-Men #161)
Stun bombs are to comics as knockout spray is to cartoons. (X-Men #161)
We really only included this to point out the smoke coming from Wolverine’s underwear. (X-Men #162)
And that’s how you do a cold open. (X-Men #162)
Remember this space whale. It’ll be important later. (X-Men #162)
So, that’s a little creepy, and… (X-Men #162)
…AUGH WAIT WHAT THE HELL?! (X-Men #162)
Fang just cannot catch a break. (X-Men #162)
This is one of very, very few times when Wolverine’s healing factor has been written as at all under his control. (X-Men #162)
How cool would it have been if he’d kept this look? Hint: So cool. (X-Men #162)
Fair warning: This visual companion is basically an excuse to post a lot of really awesome Carol Danvers moments. (X-Men #163)
Cyclops successfully completes TWO whole hugs during the Brood Saga! Also: space fashion. (X-Men #163)
So, THAT’S CREEPY. (X-Men #163)
Remember that thing about how this visual companion is mostly an excuse to post pictures of Carol Danvers being awesome? That. (X-Men #164)
ROCKET SHARKS. (X-Men #164)
Including this just for the dozen people who have written us to ask if Storm’s powers work in space (also covered in the Phoenix Saga, incidentally). (X-Men #164)
In which Claremont and/or Cockrum seem to forget that Kitty’s powers fry electrical systems. (X-Men #164)
BINARY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. (X-Men #164)
Imagine how much of Inferno could have been avoided if the Professor had decided to press this point. (X-Men #164)
AUGH GOD BINARY IS SO AWESOME. (X-Men #164)
Not that Cockrum’s not great, but can we have a moment of silence for how amazingly Neal Adams would’ve drawn this specific panel? (X-Men #164)
If you like the Brood Saga, you should be reading the current Captain Marvel series (and vice versa). This is very much the Carol Danvers of both. (X-Men #164)
That moment when the Brood Saga could’ve become a really heavy-handed reproductive-rights allegory, and we’re all really grateful that it didn’t. (X-Men #164)
Well, fuck. (X-Men #164)
Binary: Too awesome for your stupid airlock. (X-Men #164)
That time Moira MacTaggert manipulated Charles Xavier into starting a second ongoing X-book. (X-Men #165)
Welcome to X-Men, Paul Smith! Hope you survive the experience! (X-Men #165)
Faced with certain and inevitable death, the X-Men decide to go kill some Brood. (X-Men #165)
Rad bromance. (X-Men #165)
CORRECT CHOICE, COLOSSUS. (X-Men #165)
Remember that time Storm became a space whale and quoted Phoenix? (X-Men #165)
Seriously, though: Binary. (X-Men #166)
WELL, THEN. (X-Men #166)
Mostly in here to point out that Kitty’s impending death has not cooled her affection for the Shi’ar fashion machines. (X-Men #166)
Storm X-plains the Acanti, part one. (X-Men #166)
Storm X-plains the Acanti, part two. (X-Men #166)
Our episode outline addresses this panel as follows:
  • KITTY YOU ARE THE BEST NERD
  • DOES CYCLOPS WATCH STAR TREK? DISCUSS. SHOW YOUR WORK.
(X-Men #166)
(X-Men: Evolution Cyclops definitely watches Star Trek, for the record.)
In addition to the shocking reveal, this moment leads to one of stupidest and most avoidable minor continuity errors of the issue. (X-Men #166)
Best Brood moment? Best Brood moment. (X-Men #166)
LOCKHEED! (X-Men #166)
And they all lived happily ever after. (X-Men #166)
OH, WAIT. (X-Men #166)
Just in case you haven’t caught on to the fact that this is an extended thematic and structural riff on the Dark Phoenix Saga. (X-Men #167)
Can we talk about the New Mutants’ adorable collective crush on Magnum, P.I.? (X-Men #167)
THAT SUBTITLE. (X-Men #167)
Kitty’s got a new outfit. Take a drink. (X-Men #167)
Okay. This looks bad. (X-Men #167)
Speaking of the Dark Phoenix Saga… (X-Men #167)
Cyclops has a good day (and completes an unprecedented SECOND successful hug in the same story!), but this plot thread is going to lead straight to Madelyne Pryor, so, that’s probably a net loss. (X-Men #167)
That time Empress Lilandra projected into Reed and Sue Storm’s bedroom to scold them in the middle of the night. (X-Men #167)
Professor Xavier returns to life, and Kitty gets yet ANOTHER new outfit. Two drinks. (X-Men #167)
In which Kitty learns what the reader has known all along. (X-Men #167)
Next Week: Back to the Silver Age (and a very important retcon) with Kurt Busiek!

Further reading:

The Things They Carried, by Tim O’Brien.

20 – The Brood They Carried

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In which Claremont levels up; the Brood are legitimately scary; Colossus is an ethical dude; Nightcrawler and Wolverine share beers in the face of certain death; Storm turns into a space whale; we are Carol Corps for life; New Mutants are really into Magnum, P.I.; Kitty meets a dragon; and Xavier dies (again).

X-Plained:

  • Broo
  • The Brood Saga (X-Men #161-167)
  • Paul Smith
  • Space fashion
  • A really terrible awards ceremony
  • Tim O’Brien’s X-Men
  • The Brood
  • How to tell a good Wolverine story
  • Rocket sharks
  • The single most badass magical-girl transformation sequence of all time
  • Binary
  • The X-Men’s Kobayashi Maru
  • Friendship (more) (again)
  • The Acanti
  • Whether Cyclops watches Star Trek
  • The New Mutants
  • Cloning
  • Our secret cold-open formula
  • Cosmic crossovers

Next Week: Kurt Busiek! We would have words with thee!

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!