Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: illyana rasputin

As Mentioned on Episode 19 – Acorns and Swords

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(Hand not to scale.) (X-Men #160)
She knows how to dodge radioactive mutants and spinning saw blades, but no one has given Illyana the talk about not taking bloodstone amulets from strangers. (X-Men #160)
If there were a drinking game, “Storm spontaneously takes a shower indoors” would be on the list. (X-Men #160)
Oops. (X-Men #160)
Kitty, you adorable nerd. (X-Men #160)
Aw. Man. Why are all the evil alternate Nightcrawlers super creepy and rapey? (X-Men #160)
This asshole. (X-Men #160)
Remember this dude. You will be seeing more of him. (X-Men #160)
EMERGO! (X-Men #160)
Whoa. (X-Men #160)
BUT WHERE COULD SHE HAVE BEEN? If only there were a miniseries that answered that very question! (X-Men #160)
Belasco, man. (X-Men #160)
Oh, hey, those guys. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #1)
For obvious reasons, Magik includes a lot of very direct callbacks to X-Men #160. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #1)
“Body and soul.” Take a drink. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #1)
CAT WHAT ARE YOU WEARING WHY WOULD YOU WEAR THAT (Storm and Illyana: Magik #1)
So, here’s a thing: There’s a lot of creepily suggestive language about Belasco’s plans for Illyana, but none of it is reflected in the actual story. Make of that what you will, but it seems worth mentioning, for both parts. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #1)
Aw, Cat. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #1)
This is going to be important later. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #1)
S’ym is a pretty pitch-perfect kid’s nightmare: a friendly, slightly silly-looking monster who’s actually one of the most sadistic, dangerous guys in the building. He’s gonna be around for a long time, too, and he only gets scarier. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #2)
MONTAGE! (Storm and Illyana: Magik #2)
Belasco is a jerk. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #2)
Aw, Cat. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #2)
Two down, three to go. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #2)
Spoiler: This is not a particularly fun or happy miniseries. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #3)
No, there will be no elves. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #3)
Aw, Cat. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #3)
First try. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #3)
Mutant powers! And a New Mutants cameo! (Storm and Illyana: Magik #3)
Storm’s outfit is pretty ridiculous, but her hair is on point. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #3)
Aw, Cat. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #3)
Well. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #4)
SO THAT HAPPENED (Storm and Illyana: Magik #4)
Remember the part about this not being a happy series? This is not a happy series. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #4)
Second try. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #4)
Third, and last, try. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #4)
The Soulsword, ladies and gentlemen. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #4)
Meanwhile, in another comic altogether… (Storm and Illyana: Magik #4)
Human Belasco is pretty silly looking. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #4)
And we’re back to where we left off at the end of X-Men #160. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #4)
FACT: Illyana is freakin’ awesome. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #4)
Next week: The Brood Saga!

19 – Acorns and Swords

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In which we continue our delve into the eldritch end of the X-Universe, Illyana Rasputin has a rough childhood even by X-Men standards, Kitty Pryde is a Niven fan, Limbo is way metal, Vincent Price is our Belasco, and Rachel and Miles have feelings about female friendships in Claremont’s X-Men.

X-Plained:

  • Mikhail Rasputin
  • Hell dimensions, including but not limited to
    • The Void
    • The Dark Zone
    • The Hill
    • Limbo
    • The other Limbo
    • Yet a third Limbo
  • Reincarnation
  • Illyana Rasputin
  • Magic vs. Magik
  • Uncanny X-Men #160
  • Octopusheim
  • Stepping Disks
  • Otherplace
  • Belasco
  • Emergo
  • S’ym
  • Storm and Illyana: Magik #1-4
  • Bloodstones
  • Yet another set of alternate X-Men
  • Friendship
  • The Soulsword
  • Podcasting

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

 

Next week: In space, no one can hear you snikt.

As Mentioned in Episode 17 – The Island of Dr. Corbeau

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Is there a friendship equivalent to “we ‘ship it”? Because, that. (Uncanny X-Men #154)
And you think it’s a pain when your parents visit. (Uncanny X-Men #154)
Corsair, X-Plained. (Uncanny X-Men #154)
Cyclops: Not all that quick on the uptake. (Uncanny X-Men #154)
Remember when this happened and it was hilarious? (Uncanny X-Men #114)
Get used to it, kid. (Uncanny X-Men #154)
Roy and Phil are the new Harvey and Janet. (Uncanny X-Men #154)
That’s… pretty valid, actually. (Uncanny X-Men #154)
Corsair does a lot of X-Plaining this issue. (Uncanny X-Men #154)
In Cyclops’s defense, he did, in fact, have the worst childhood ever. (Uncanny X-Men #155)
This is basically how the Shi’ar say Hello. (Uncanny X-Men #155)
Never change, Kitty Pryde. (Uncanny X-Men #155)
The lady in the fuchsia coat is hardcore judging you, Corsair. (Uncanny X-Men #155)
The Brood’s arsenal includes a super rad op-art ray. (Uncanny X-Men #155)
‘Kay, then. (Uncanny X-Men #155)
Wolveine is hella into fighting with the Brood, which is good, because he’s gonna be doing a lot of that a couple arcs from now. (Uncanny X-Men #155)
Spoiler: He’s gonna be okay. (Uncanny X-Men #155)
REMEMBER THESE BADASSES? They’re back. And we love them. (Uncanny X-Men #156)
We weren’t kidding when we said Phil and Roy were the new Harvey and Janet. (Uncanny X-Men #156)
THE STARJAMMERS ARE SO RAD THAT WE CAN ONLY TALK ABOUT THEM IN ALL CAPS. (Uncanny X-Men #156)
Hepzibah demonstrates the proper way to interrupt a dramatic moment. P.S. REMEMBER WHEN WE SAID THE STARJAMMERS ARE FUCKING DELIGHTFUL? THE STARJAMMERS ARE FUCKING DELIGHTFUL, YOU GUYS. (Uncanny X-Men #156)
The Brood are dicks, man. (Uncanny X-Men #156)
It’s okay. He’ll be back. (Uncanny X-Men #157)
Yeah, we’re not sure what’s going on in that first outfit, either. (Uncanny X-Men #157)
Uncanny X-Men #157, in which Kitty Pryde saves the world with costumes. Like, seriously.
And then, for no apparent reason, she changes into a Peter Pan outfit. You do you, Kitty. You do you. (Uncanny X-Men #157)
Meanwhile, in Avengers Annual #10, it’s raining Marvels.
Fun fact: Jessica Drew is long-time buds with the X-Men. (Avengers Annual #10)
Well, that explains it. (Uncanny X-Men #158)
Rogue’s default villain M.O. was really, really creepy. (Avengers Annual #10)
REMEMBER HOW THAT HAPPENED AND NONE OF THE AVENGERS SAW ANY PROBLEM WITH IT? (Avengers Annual #10)
You know the runs that gymnasts do as the lead-up to really spectacular tumbling passes? This is Chris Claremont’s equivalent, only instead of doing a bunch of flips, he is going to call out some of the most bullshit writing of the previous year. (Avengers Annual #10)
STANDING. FUCKING. OVATION. That said, it’s pretty depressing that this came out in 1981 and still reads as a lot more progressive than the handling of sexual violence in a lot of current comics. (Avengers Annual #10)
The return of Dr. Peter Corbeau. (Uncanny X-Men #158)
I WONDER IF THIS WILL BECOME RELEVANT LATER. (Uncanny X-Men #158)
Senator Kelly: Still a jerk. (Uncanny X-Men #158)
“Hey, Alex, you know how all you wanted was a normal life? Yeah, I just dropped by to tell you our dad’s been alive for the last twenty years. And he’s a space pirate. And your hat looks stupid.” (Uncanny X-Men #158)
Object lesson: Everyone is Mystique. Everyone is always Mystique. (Uncanny X-Men #158)
Can we talk for a sec about Rogue’s superlative villainface game? (Uncanny X-Men #158)
CAROL MOTHERFUCKING DANVERS. (Uncanny X-Men #158)
Next week is going to be SO AWESOME.

Links and additional reading:

17 – The Island of Dr. Corbeau

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In which we make our Comics Alliance debut, Cyclops makes a startling discovery, Carol Danvers joins the team (sort of), Chris Claremont calls out some bullshit, Havok still has terrible taste in hats, and Peter Corbeau gets his own theme music

Content note: In this episode, we spend a lot of time talking about a rape that occurs in a previous Avengers arc, the community and narrative response thereto, and the larger landscape and ethics of portrayals of sexual violence in superhero comics.

X-Plained

  • Mystique’s mercurial alliances
  • Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men
  • Uncanny X-Men #154-158
  • Avengers Annual #10
  • Bollywood Starjammers
  • The dread Psi-Scream
  • Shi’ar Fashion Technology
  • Dr. Peter Corbeau (more) (again)
  • Rogue
  • Carol Danvers
  • The Whole Marcus Thing
  • Chris Claremont vs. rape culture
  • Computers
  • Gender politics of the Dark Phoenix Saga

Next week: Dracula!

Clarification, since we neglected to specify in the episode: Avengers #200 was written by James Shooter, George Pérez, Bob Layton, and David Michelinie; Avengers Annual #10 was written by Chris Claremont.

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

As Mentioned in Episode 16 – The Official Unofficial Not-at-SDCC (Rachel and Miles X-Plain the) X-Men Panel

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When we say that Quentin Quire has the same fashion sense as Rachel, this is not what we’re talking about. (Wolverine and the X-Men #3)
Seriously. She’s never going to take it off again.
YAYBO! Thanks to your support, we’ve unlocked a bunch of very cool milestone goals on Patreon, from weekly video reviews of current X-books, to original illustrations, written posts, giant-size semiannuals, and more!
Why we can’t have nice things. (House of M #7)
As promised, from Uncanny X-Men #497.
Cyclops seems to like the premise of Schism about as much as we do.
We were going to photoshop word balloons in so Cap was yelling “What are we fighting about, again?” and Cyclops was yelling, “I have no idea!” but we ran out of time, so I guess just take that as read.
Yeah, that’ll end well, Iron Man. (Avengers vs. X-Men #5)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (Avengers vs. X-Men #11)
This moment has shown up in flashbacks in something like four books so far this month, so it’s probably gonna be PRETTY RELEVANT in the near future. (Avengers vs. X-Men #11)
Pretty much everything you need to know about Battle of the Atom. (Wolverine and the X-Men #37)
This was the only yearbook photo we could find with both of us in it. TRIVIA: Can you spot the other current comics-industry pro in this photo?
Aw, bros. (Wolverine and the X-Men #40)
Oh, that’ll be awkward. (Uncanny X-Men #23)
There are… kind of a lot of X-Men books currently coming out.
A reasonably comprehensive list of current X-titles.
We are 100% with Cyclops on this. (Wolverine and the X-Men #40)
Heh. (Schism #1)
Next week: Rogue! And space adventures! And Carol Danvers!
Also next week: Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men on Comics Alliance! It’ll go up here, as well as iTunes and Stitcher, at the usual time, but you’ll also be able to catch new episodes every Thursday at ComicsAlliance.com!
Bonus not-at-SDCC cosplay pics: Miles as Starman…
…and Rachel as space-pirate-in-a-polo-shirt teenage Cyclops.

Links:

16 – The Official Unofficial Not-at-SDCC (Rachel and Miles X-Plain the) X-Men Panel

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In which we correct a startling omission, explore the current state of the X-Universe, and speculate wildly; Quentin Quire has excellent fashion sense; Rachel gets a new accessory; Miles goes off-brand; the X-Men are somewhat complicated; Iron Man has poor decision-making skills; Charles Xavier dies for real; Beast might be a supervillain; we briefly forget Marc Guggenheim’s first name; and the future remains a relative mystery.

For purposes of continuity, it’s probably worth noting that this episode was recorded before the SDCC Marvel panel.

X-Plained:

  • Quentin Quire
  • Patreon
  • A startling omission from the official SDCC lineup
  • The current state of the X-Men
  • Decimation
  • Dark Reign
  • Utopia
  • Schism
  • Avengers vs. X-Men
  • Mutant politics
  • Hope Summers
  • The Phoenix/P.E.N.I.S. five (again)
  • The (real) (this time) (we think) death of Charles Xavier
  • Teenager hijinks
  • Crossover events
  • Battle of the Atom
  • Semantics of supervillainy
  • How Wolverine is 100% definitely going to die
  • Jumping-on points
  • Current X-books
  • Jubilee

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

 

As Mentioned in Episode 15 – The Ballad of Harvey and Janet

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Angelica of the D’Urbervilles.
Starting July 31, new episodes of Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men will be available every Thursday at Comics Alliance! We’ll also continue to release them every Sunday–along with the visual companion–at our site, as well as iTunes, and Stitcher, ; but if you want to be the first kid on the block to hear ’em, head to ComicsAlliance.com on Thursdays!
Meanwhile, want to help support the podcast–and get additional content and cool swag? Please take a minute to check out our Patreon campaign! We’ve got some very cool rewards, but the best part–we think–are the Milestone goals, which are sort of like the X-Men team-up moves of Patreon: giant-size annuals, written posts, original art, a print zine, and more!
“What wardrobe?” “My point exactly.” (X-Men #148)
Lee Forrester: The Best Ever. (X-Men #148)
Good luck with that, buddy. (X-Men #148)
“No, but you’ll be a sorcerer with your own Hell dimension! Won’t that be nice?” (X-Men #148)
Hi, Siryn! (X-Men #148)
Caliban and the Morlocks: Introducing the concept of passing privilege to the mutant metaphor. (X-Men #148)
last-page-of-the-issue Magneto reveals are the gift that keeps on giving. (X-Men #148)
Professor Xavier, doing our job for us. (X-Men #149)
KITTY PRYDE, YOU ARE DELIGHTFUL. (X-Men #149)
Prydeslaught, by Logan Bonner: Professor X’s unchecked rage, plus the id of a 13-year-old Kitty Pryde. We dearly wish this were canon.
Let us never speak of this again. (X-Men #149)
Still kinda bummed we didn’t make more Ann Veal jokes about this guy. “Who?” (X-Men #149)
Even his villain speech is kinda forgettable, but we will take literally any excuse to post more pictures of Kitty’s amazing outfit, so. (X-Men #149)
Phaseball Special! (X-Men #149)
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA(X-Men #149)
We appreciate how obviously Lee is trying not to laugh in this panel. (X-Men #149)
There’s… a lot going on on that cover. (X-Men #150)
Magneto’s dastardly plan is basically peaceful nuclear disarmament. (X-Men #150)
Dr. Peter Corbeau: That one NPC your DM clearly rolled up as a PC in another campaign but never got to play so instead rolled into his campaign as an overcompetent badass. (X-Men #150)
The Voyage of the Mimi was an educational show, featuring a very young Ben Affleck and an ungodly earworm of a theme song. We both watched a lot of it in middle school science classes.
Wolverine with wet hair. You’re welcome. (X-Men #150)
“Also, man, he’s got killer abs.” (X-Men #150)
If there were an X-Men drinking game, “Dark City-style brain-ray psychic duel” would definitely be on the list. (X-Men #150)
Magneto: Now available with nuance and additional backstory! (Asteroid base sold separately.) (X-Men #150)
Having taken over Storm’s body, Emma Frost celebrates by, um, quoting King Lear. (X-Men #151)
HARVEY AND JANET, WE LOVE YOU. (X-Men #151)
This week in Scenes Only Chris Claremont Could Have Written: A giant robot busting through a ceiling and telling the shocked people inside, “Fear not! All will be revealed in due course!” (X-Men #151)
HARVEY AND JANET FOREVER! (X-Men #151)
Note the Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends ad at the top! (X-Men #152)
Wolverine has a progressive attitude about transhumanism. (X-Men #152)
Well done, Wolverine. (X-Men #152)
How X-Men #137 could net you $2500. (Thanks to Carl Horn for finding this for us!)

15 – The Ballad of Harvey and Janet

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In which we announce exciting new developments, the ASPCA should probably have a word with Emma Frost, Kitty Pryde gets a new costume, Lee Forrester is still the best, Cyclops has an octopus on his chest, Magneto has a change of heart, and Wolverine embraces transhumanism.

X-Plained:

  • The Thomas Hardy novel of superhero comics
  • Friendship
  • X-Men #148-152
  • Unstable Denim
  • Disco Dinner Clubs
  • Caliban (a little)
  • Kitty Pryde’s amazing fashion sense
  • Garokk the Unremarkable
  • Atlantean couture
  • Why Magneto is Interesting
  • The Massachusetts Academy
  • The Persona Exchange Gun
  • Harvey and Janet
  • How to win $2500 in 1980
  • Editorial Outsourcing

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

14 – Look Upon My Man-Thing and D’Spayre

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In which Canada is complicated, the X-Perts join Twitter, Rachel cares about a Wolverine story, Angel had one job, Kitty Pryde is pretty cool, Cyclops gets a hat, neither of us knows how to pronounce “Aleytys,” Doctor Doom is a terrible date, and the X-Men have an awful lot of signature moves.

X-Plained:

  • Department H
  • Department K
  • Director X
  • The Weapon Plus Program
  • Weapon P.R.I.M.E.
  • Weapons I-XVI
  • The Death-Defying Doctor Mirage
  • The new normal
  • Stevie Hunter
  • The Wendigo
  • Berserker rage
  • Yard work
  • Wolverines
  • Angel’s one move
  • The N’Garai (again)
  • Lee Forrester
  • D’Spayre
  • Magic-Feather villains
  • Man-Thing
  • Doctor Doom
  • Arcade
  • Why it sucks to be Havok
  • The X-Perts’ relative areas of X-pertise
  • Cyclops vs. Storm
  • Signature moves

CORRECTIONS: Lee’s dad’s house is in Florida, not Louisiana; Doctor Doom is not in Europe but in New England, where has taken over Toad’s theme park, because that was definitely a thing.

If you’re looking for our coverage of X-Men 141 and 142—”Days of Future Past”—you can find that in Episode 6, “Days of Future Whatever.”

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

As Mentioned on Episode 5 – The Retcon That Walks Like a Man

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Giant-Size X-Men #1. Prepare for forty years of riffs on this cover.
The best-dressed mob in Germany.
And THAT’S how you punch a tractor.
“Oh, y’know. Fight crime, see the world, get your memory rewritten every few weeks, maybe go on a really fucked up date with Dracula…”
When Xavier finds him, Thunderbird is literally wrestling a buffalo to death.
Sunfire’s first appearance, in X-Men #64.
Most of the New & Different X-Men get a full page or two to join the team. Banshee? Two panels. He’s just that chill.
“Think you can just walk away, Wolverine? We’ll come after you with our deadliest weapon yet: Alpha Flight crossovers!”
Wow. You… certainly made some choices there, Professor.
Sunfire is absolutely delightful.
At this point, I’m pretty sure he’s just messing with them for fun.
This is the second of three times Sunfire calls Nightcrawler “Misfit” on one page–which is actually a pretty welcome break from the X-Men referring to each other exclusively by ethnic epithets. Len Wein, DON’T DO THAT.
This jerk.
This is pretty much the platonic ideal of an X-Men fight scene: teamwork, cool powers, and narration busting Kool-Aid-Man-style through the fourth wall.
Fun fact: Polaris will later go on to get an advanced degree in geophysics.
“You know… stuff?”
We see what you did, there.
Moira MacTaggert has opinions about retcons.
Introducing: The Worst Summers Brother
“Hey, kids, want to be superheroes?”
It’s worth noting that Moira’s team’s emergency psychic training regimen includes a Hostess Fruit Pie ad callback.
They are so doomed.
It’s almost like you live with a telepath who messes with people’s memories all the time.
Wait, what? But that’s not how it…
…oh. That explains some things.
Damn, X. That’s cold.
Professor X: Master of the retcon, worst surrogate parent ever.
Sorry ’bout that, guys.
Then Gabriel goes and punches an empire to death.

Further Reading:

Rachel made a separate guide to Kid Vulcan, which you can find here.

Giant Size X-Men #1

X-Men: Deadly Genesis

Cheryl Lynn Eaton on Storm and race